Does it bother you when...

[Bia]

People try (or try to try) on your engagement ring?


However trivial this may be, I'm newly engaged and not used to all the attention I'm getting from people. I’d love to know what you all think…

Here's what happened...


As school just started up for me again last week, most of my classmates were pleasantly surprised to learn I had gotten engaged over the holiday break (only two knew prior to class starting up again). Of course everyone was happy and congrats were given all around. My two classmates, who I now consider good friends, were very excited (and loud!) for me and happy to finally be able to ogle my ring (we hadn't seen eachother since before Christmas, so they had been waiting) Because I was, and am still, shy about showing off my ring, I let them show it off for me because they are anything but shy! That was fun, and sweet on their part.

Afterwards, another classmate of mine who sits near me asked to see my ring. I don’t know her very well, but she’s nice, although a bit pushy and annoying at times. No big deal. When I gave her my hand she slid my ring off and began inspecting it. Mind you, I wasn’t bothered, but coincidentally (since there was a thread about this a few days ago), I was thinking that I’d have to wipe off her fingerprints because I had just polished my ring! hehehehe. Anyway, here’s the question portion of my thread: After she “inspected” the ring, she placed it on her finger. The only part of this that bothered me was that the ring didn’t slide on, but instead was squeezed on. Still, she put it on, and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to be a b****. My friend, however, in a friendly way, scolded her, and said that the ring didn’t fit so she better take it off before it swelled and then we’d really have a problem. Afterward, my friend scolded me and said, “How could you let her take your ring and put it on?! That’s bad luck, and it could have gotten stuck!” A few other people told me it was bad luck to let others try your ring on...


So my question to you is, does it bother you when other people try on your e-ring? My family members have taken it off and tried it on and it never bothered me...maybe b/c that's family? In this case, while I was flattered, I was also a teeeensy bit annoyed

, but it didn’t occur to me that it might be bad luck. Do you think it is?

And next time this happens what do I do? Do you let them? Do you slap them? Do you say "HANDS OFF!"

 

[sunnyd]

A classmate definitely would have bothered me for sure! I know I would never take off someone''s ring, let alone sqeeeeeze it on my finger.

My FSistersIL have all tried it on and a friend who I know was dying to try it (I have her dream ring, hehe!) and that doesn''t bother me.

I''d probably start slapping hands if I were you.

Or bring your scolding friends everywhere you went.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

if it was someone i didnt know very well i would be POed!!!
however i did let me 4 best friends try it on, some of them are liws right now and i know it made them giddy to try it on

 

[Dreamgirl]

OH THAT IS NOT COOL.

Bia- Obviously you know that I am not engaged yet but I'll let you know that I wouldn't let ANYONE take my ring off my finger other than myself, FF, or my Mom. I mean, I'd let family touch or hold my ring (not take it off me though) and that wouldn't bother me. But someone else is a HUGE no no in my book!

I would have pulled my finger back and said "HEY! What are you doing?!" I wouldn't have let her try it on. GET YOUR OWN AND STEP OFF! lol! If it happens again, just tell the person that you don't want to take it off, that they can LOOK and NOT TOUCH.

"DON'T TOUCH!!!!!!!!! DON'T TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[palomablancabride]

I have a small finger and no one else has tried the ring on... I don''t think. I have a friend who has a huge e-ring (3 carats) and has encouraged people to try it on. I wouldn''t worry about this bad luck nonsense.

 

[tlh]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!

No, I don''t think it is bad luck, but that is the old wives tale... an engagement/wedding ring is meant to be from one person to the next, so when someone other than the intended puts it on, it supposedly breaks that bonded trust... and is supersticiously considered bad luck.

Do I think it is bad luck, no. But do I like people putting on my ring... no. And yes, I hate it when they touch it and make it all murkey. It sparkles like mad for a reason, hello!

It bothers me when someone I don''t know well TRIES to put my ring on, because I feel like I''ve been violated... after one of my BIL''s friends (NOT MINE) tried to run away with it (she was joking but it INFURIATED ME) I refuse to take it off for anyone, with the exception of my mother and any possible future daughters.

So I think you are entitled to those feelings. There was a thread very similar to this in the Hangout... where you can see a lot of stories, and different points of view on this very same subject. I couldn''t find it... otherwise I would have linked...sorry.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Here''s the thread about this from hangout
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/dont-touch-the-ring-please.105021/

 

[Winks_Elf]

OMG I would have FREAKED on her @$$ for even daring to touch it!

When you show off your ring, do it with hand extended but fist closed. If they don''t get the hint then, and ask if they can try it on, tell them "I''m sorry? OMG did you just ask if you could try my engagement ring on???" and laugh. They''ll get the hint REAL fast.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/27/2009 1:12:59 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
OMG I would have FREAKED on her @$$ for even daring to touch it!

When you show off your ring, do it with hand extended but fist closed. If they don''t get the hint then, and ask if they can try it on, tell them ''I''m sorry? OMG did you just ask if you could try my engagement ring on???'' and laugh. They''ll get the hint REAL fast.

OMG I LOVE THAT IDEA!

 

[mayachel]

The easiest way to stop this from the start is to feign superstition. Just tell them, "oh, did you know it''s bad luck to try on someone else''s engagement rign? I just can''t allow it." If they persist, you don''t have to follow with anything more than, "I''m just not comfortable with it".

This way, you don''t have to come off like a b*tch and maybe some will take the subtle hint.

 

[mayachel]

I will say, when my mom was oohing and ahhing over my ring, and was trying to examine it from all angles, I took it off and tried to hand it to her and she promptly declined saying "oh no, it''s your engagement ring. it should stay on YOUR hand." and that was my MOM!

 

[StarbuttsKoffee]

I had similar experience like yours at Fi''s company dinner party...I was close with one of his colleagues and when I showed her the ering when she asked, she took it out of my finger, yes she PULLED it out

and showed it to every lady in the room, I was totally embarrassed....I wasn''t mad but being newly engaged at that time it made me felt discomfort when they teased me, none of them fits my 3.5 ring size though.

agree with Melissa on hand extended but fist closed when you show off your ring lol telling them bad luck to try on people''s ering is a good one too!

 

[MoonWater]

Um...there is only ONE friend I would allow to try on my ring, and we''ve been best friends for 18 years. And yet she wouldn''t DARE try to do so without my permission and further she wouldn''t even ASK to do so. I don''t get people that do that.

The only other people I would take it off for to inspect or try on is a) my Aunt who is like my mom, b) my MIL because she''s fabu, and c) my husband''s Nannie because she has a killer jewelry collection and I know she''d take care of it, plus she''s a total sweetheart. But ya know what? NONE of them have ever asked or tried to do so. I would never ask to do that, it''s, well, odd to me. Although, Nannie has a 2 carat Tiffany ring I''d love to try on

hahaha...but again, I would never ask or try.

Wait, does DH count? Sometimes he wears it on his pinky finger to admire it.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 1/27/2009 1:12:59 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
If they don''t get the hint then, and ask if they can try it on, tell them ''I''m sorry? OMG did you just ask if you could try my engagement ring on???'' and laugh. They''ll get the hint REAL fast.

Love it! But when you laugh.....laugh EVIL aaahahaaaaaa

 

[musey]

What is it with engagement rings? I don''t see anyone asking to try on the sweater that I''m currently wearing. Well, okay, that did happen once. That was weird.

This situation is extra yucky, with it being someone that you''re not friends with and all. I''ve let people try on my ring, but they''ve all been relatively close friends.

Maybe I''m a weirdo, but I actually don''t notice or get bothered by fingerprints on my ring... I''ve thought I was crazy and smooshed fingers on the table. I can''t even see ''em unless I tip my ring against the light in a certain way, and besides, a quick swipe on my shirt takes ''em right off.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/27/2009 1:40:44 PM
Author: musey
What is it with engagement rings? I don''t see anyone asking to try on the sweater that I''m currently wearing. Well, okay, that did happen once. That was weird.

This situation is extra yucky, with it being someone that you''re not friends with and all. I''ve let people try on my ring, but they''ve all been relatively close friends.

Maybe I''m a weirdo, but I actually don''t notice or get bothered by fingerprints on my ring... I''ve thought I was crazy and smooshed fingers on the table. I can''t even see ''em unless I tip my ring against the light in a certain way, and besides, a quick swipe on my shirt takes ''em right off.

Good point.
THAT IS WEIRD.... I cannot even put together a context where that would be appropriate! hahah

 

[Porridge]

In Ireland, you''re supposed to let people try on your ring, then they turn it three times on their finger and make a wish. You''re not supposed to wish for love or money (FSIL always tells people to get around that by wishing for a rich MIL!) I don''t mind people doing that when they''re careful with it...but I hate when people wipe their mucky paws all over my rock!!!

 

[redfaerythinker]

I don''t think that it''s bad luck to let someone else try on your ring. I would however be pissed if someone took it off my finger without asking. I guess I''m lucky that I have small fingers so most people can''t fit it on theirs. But I would never let a stranger play with my ring. That classmate would have made me so mad!

 

[bee*]

I let anyone that I know try it on. If I didn''t know them, I wouldn''t let them.

 

[lliang_chi]

Wow, I''ve taken my ring off for only people I know very well, family, FIL''s. The only person to actually put it on was my brother on his pinky, so he was just goofing. Even my sister and FSIL didn''t put the ring on. I''d think that''s one of those etiquette "givens" that you''re supposed to know you don''t do...

 

[ysj99]

Date: 1/27/2009 1:23:21 PM
Author: StarbuttsKoffee
I had similar experience like yours at Fi''s company dinner party...I was close with one of his colleagues and when I showed her the ering when she asked, she took it out of my finger, yes she PULLED it out

and showed it to every lady in the room, I was totally embarrassed....I wasn''t mad but being newly engaged at that time it made me felt discomfort when they teased me, none of them fits my 3.5 ring size though.

I can''t believe people will PULL the ring right off your finger!! That is pretty atrocious behavior IMHO. Like Starbutts, I have a small 3.25 finger which usually doesn''t get past the knuckles on the real pushy girls who want to try on my ring!

 

[Bia]

Yes, I must agree that it was very bold of her to do that (looking back esp.).

Honestly, it didn't bother me all that much that she tried it on--really the idea of it getting stuck on her finger (can you imagine?!!!) bothers me more than anything. In that case I would have had to kill her!!!

So from now on, I'll just say, "Get your mitts off my ring!"


...Or maybe just a simple "NO!" will suffice

(love hearing the stories btw)

 

[amcgookin]

Hahaha... I have to admit that my ring is always coming off for people to see and then most people will ask me if it is ok to try it on. I am beyond proud of my ring because I had a big hand in designing it and I don''t have a problem with people trying it on as long as I know who they are. HOWEVER never a total stranger! My ring is on the larger size.... 3.52 center plus a halo and additional melee for a total of 4.89 carats. I totally understand people''s curiosity at wanting to try on my ring. Heck if I saw a ring of my size on someone I would want to get a good look at it as well. But I do have some discretion at who I take it off for.... if it ever got stolen I would just die! How would I ever face my FMIL or fiancé since it is a family heirloom!

 

[fieryred33143]

I hope you get over it bia because when I do go to New York to visit you because I will be going to New York specifically to visit my bia, I will wear your ring for at least an hour

So there

 

[Dreamgirl]

This reminds me of the time I tried on a ring back in the day at 579...*this was YEAAAAAAARS ago..* well, it didn't fit. I mean, I got it on but couldn't get it off to save my life! My Mom asked me why I had to try it on. (Well, because at the age of 13, it was sparkly...) we had to end up bothering the SA about it and she took us back into this storage area with a tiny little sink and gave me a lot of soap to use to get it off. Well, the sink was broken and she had a bucket of water

that I had to use. Oh God it was so embarrasing. FINALLY we got it off after literally 30 minutes it seemed. (Thank God because I'm sure I'd think that ring was rather tacky at the age of 27! And I'd rather not live in that thing....ha!)

Totally not the same thing but what if she couldn't get it off her finger? I'd take a knife and cut it off........

 

[AmberGretchen]

I don''t worry so much about bad luck, but if I''m not comfortable with/don''t know the person well, it does make me uncomfortable for them to try my rings on. In the situation you describe, I think it was really inappropriate what that girl did considering she 1) didn''t ask first, and 2) the ring was too small and she crammed it on anyway. Definitely NOT COOL.

 

[modernsparkler]

People always surprise me! I am totally fine with close friends and family trying on my ring but strangers, no thanks.

I actually was in a bar one night and a TOTAL STRANGER who I was next to while waiting in line for a drink asked me if she could try my ring on on so she could show her boyfriend. I said NO WAY in a hurry! However, she still found me later and drug her bf over to see it. I thought she was nuts!!! I understand it is fun to look at people''s rings when you are shopping but this was too much.

 

[whitetulips]

I never let people try on my ring, but that''s because my mom told me that it''s bad luck for the relationship. Silly, I know, but after she said that there was no way I was letting anybody put my ring on! (She told me this the day after my sister-in-law and I exchanged rings and I put her wedding set on while she tried to put my ring on- oops)

I''d be really annoyed if somebody physically removed my ring without asking first- even if it was my best friend. My first reaction would be to pull my hand away and then ask them if they wanted to see the ring off of my finger. I think pulling a person''s ring off is just rude.

I''m lucky though because my finger size is 3.5 so the few people that tried to put my ring on before I could stop them only managed to get it on part of the way.

I''m sorry that people have lost their manners when it comes to your ring, in the future you could always tell people that somebody once dropped your ring so you no longer take it off for any reason. A white lie isn''t too bad when it comes to something like this.

 

[amcgookin]

I actually just remembered that this weekend I DID have a total stranger make a comment about trying my ring on....

I was helping do the registration at a running event this past Sunday and after the race the participants had to return to the table to turn in a piece of paper. Of course my hand was on full display and I got a lot of nice compliments however there was this one young girl (early 20''s) with her friends who came up all sweaty, dropped off her paper and then grabbed my hand and gushed about my ring. I was flattered and said thanks. She then said if I wasn''t all sweaty I''d make you let me try that ring on. I pulled my hand back and thought to myself "phew that was close". Not sure what I would have said, but now reading all these responses I will be armed with a good retort if it happens again!

Thanks. Ladies

 

[Liane]

Wow, that''s incredibly presumptuous.

I''m very standoffish in person so I can''t imagine anyone even trying to pull off my ring -- much less put it on -- but man oh man would they get the death glare if they did. I wear my rings tight, so it didn''t even occur to me that it might be possible for someone else to just pull a ring off your finger. Mine wouldn''t budge.