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Does anyone have a BM''s that WEREN''T a PITN?

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Gypsy

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Aug 8, 2005
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Seriously.

I know that there is always one or two discreet ones, but it seems that when there are mutiple maids at least one is a COMPLETE pain.

Do or Did any of you have BM''s and I''m talking about the collective here that weren''t a pain?

LOL. I''m getting jaded here.

I''m planning on having only on attendant... and she''s a bit of a pain... but honestly she''s my best freind and I love her... but she''s pretty much a pain about everything. LOL. So I''m not surprised.

But when I had three attendants... one of them was a nightmare. Best off financially, closest to me... and complained about everything. We went shopping for shoes and as she''s trying on a pari of Christian Labutin (can''t spell it) shoes she''s complaining about the cost of the 150-200 gowns I had narrowed the choices down to.
 

FireGoddess

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Jan 25, 2005
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12,145
Awwwwwwwwww. LOL. I can''t complain a bit...my 2 were awesome. Of course, I was pretty awesome in each of their weddings too. HAHAHAHA.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 18, 2005
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7,074
My BM? I adore her, she''s an absolute doll. She''s the best BM any bride could ask for. My MOH however... well, let''s just say she''s not a happy camper.
 

Officers girl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 16, 2007
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218
Mine arent to bad but sometimes I just want to grab em and tell them to either fall in or fall out. Everybody wants something different and I want to scream.
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 3, 2006
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9,613
My 5 are all under 10 - hooray!

They turn up on the day, wear a pretty dress and look cute for the pictures so hassle free!
 

robbie3982

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 28, 2006
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3,960
I haven''t had any problems with my bridesmaids, but the mom of 2 of them (my aunt) was complaining to my mom that her daughters (15 year old twins) were going to have to get alterations on the dress I picked out. Uh...the dress was on sale for $80 and they''d have to get ANYTHING altered (the''re about 5''8" and size 0)! And they''re really well off too, so it''s not like money was an issue or something. It turns out that their dresses don''t even need to be altered.

No problems with the girls though.
 

So_happy

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 12, 2006
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1,084
My 5 bms are impossible to please collectively so I always seem to be ticking one of them off. I''m hoping it''s just this dress phase that they''ll be like this for, but I truly feel as if I''m walking on eggshells whenever I make a decision about my own wedding. It really is not what I expected at all. I seriously think if I were a more demanding bride, things would actually be easier with thier set of personalities. But if I were demaning, I''d probably be used to the consequences of that so if they complained I wouldn''t care. And I care about them so. Oh well. We''ll muddle through.
 

diamondfan

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Jun 17, 2005
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I would be annoyed if she bitched about a dress and was looking at shoes that are 500.00...

I got married so young that honestly I do not recall a lot of complaining from them. What I do recall is that since I was the first to get married in my one college group, I was the one talked about behind my back...like, she thinks she is so hot since she is getting married first...which is NOT what I was acting like. Meanwhile, all these years later, the one who instigated it the most is STILL single, and I must say I am not surprised...she was mad I did not have her as a bridesmaid, but she had been such a trouble maker I just could not...but I had her man the guest book instead!
 

monarch64

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I only had one who was sort of a PITA...she was OOT and kind of became unable to locate after I asked her to be a BM and she accepted...she ended up doing everything as planned, but there was about a month where I was panicking and looking at options of who I would replace her with, lol. To this day, (4 yrs. later) she''s the one friend I have lost contact with. She called me once about a year after my wedding to say she had gotten engaged and she wanted my new address so she could send me a wedding invitation, but I never heard from her again, unfortunately.
 

labbielove

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Jun 28, 2006
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862
for just that reason i am having only 3 attendants- my 3 older sisters.

i have several dear friends that are not official bms but are each contributing in their own way.
2 are great with decorations, and one is a party planner so is going to be my unofficial day-of coordinator.

it''s working out great for everyone.

btw, my 3 older sisters range in age from 47-53, so they are having a ball being a bridesmaid- it''s been YEARS since they''ve even been to a wedding, much less be IN one!!
 

njc

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Sep 10, 2004
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1,997
I had 5 BMs and 4.5 were great! DHs sister was half good, half bad. She had a little trouble taking off work because she decided to use all her vacation on a last minute trip a couple weeks before the wedding. She missed all the fun things I was doing for the BMs (lunch, mani/pedis, presents) and was an hour late for the rehearsal. Oh well, her loss.
 

larussel03

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Oct 22, 2005
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I have 6 and I''m lucky that none of them have been a PITA at all. My MOH is the easiest person to get along with, although very able to take charge, and 2 of my BM''s have been BM''s before so they know how to get everything organized. My FI''s sister is a BM and she and I aren''t close, but I figured it was a good idea to include her since my brother and his brother are GM''s and I thought she''d be difficult but she''s not. Once a dress was picked it was easy beans. But, I''m not really relying on them to do anything huge for me, so that could be a part of it, I think being my BM is pretty easy b/c I like to do everything myself and have everything almost done.
 

kcoursolle

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Jan 21, 2006
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10,589
Three of mine are fantastic, but one is a pain. I love her, but she''s really spacey and impossible to get a hold of when I''m planning something. It took over a month to get her measurements (she''s out of town) and it held up ordering the bridesmaids gowns. I also paid for her gown in advance because I was worried she wouldn''t send in the check on time, and I still haven''t received it from her... In her defense she is pretty poor right now and in the process of moving to a new city.
 

Fancy605

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Jul 3, 2006
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My bridesmaids are all amazing. I don''t hang around on a reglular basis with females who have high tendancies to be pain in the necks. I actually consicered the "is there a possibillity that she will get on my nerves" factor when deciding who I wanted to have as my attendants. The girls I am having in my wedding are the 4 who have been the most supportive of me throughout my life. They are the type to say, "Hey, I''m happy if you''re happy." If they say anything negative it will only be because I started it. They are the types that listen to your delimas and get mad for you, but are also genuinely happy for you when good things happen rather than jealous. Of course they aren''t perfect, but they are as close as you can get.

There were a few friends who''s feelings I was afraid I''d hurt by not asking them to be in the wedding party. But then again I figure, "well, if they''re really my friends they''re not going to stop being my friends over it. They''ll just respect my choice and be happy that they don''t have to fork out cash for a dress, hair, transportation, hotel, etc. etc. etc." I could not imagine having a wedding and not asking them to attend... but I also cannot put up with negativity.
 

Mara

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Oct 30, 2002
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i mostly just had one but all the other girls didn''t like her because she was such a pain so it ended up causing more drama that i wasn''t even aware about til LATER (though i thought later what could i really have done if i had known, it might have been even more awkward).

i asked her just because i was her maid of honor years ago when we were much closer, and she totally was mentally checked out of my own wedding, she was matron of honor and hardly helped my maid of honor with anything so the maid was pretty bitter i guess by wedding time...and then in hawaii the matron showed up with her hubby and proceeded to be totally MIA for like almost the whole 3 days before the wedding, only showing up for things like rehearsal, dinner, etc. and didn''t help anyone with anything. i don''t even think i *really*spoke to her the day of the wedding, she just showed up to get her hair done and then floated off again, whereas i went to lunch with my other BM''s and 2 girlfriends that day but she wasn''t there. i don''t think she wasn''t doing it to be mean because she''s really not like that, she was just really that clueless i think and wanted to enjoy her own vacation with her husband.

anyway...since then we have not spoken too much, i don''t hold a grudge, we have just grown apart. and now she had a child last year so we are really entirely in different lands now. and she lives 40 minutes away so we hardly saw her much before.

if i could do it again i''d probably not have her in it and i bet all the drama would have gone away. well okay 98% of it because face it, you get a bunch of women in a room together around a wedding, and there is always SOME drama right?! lol.
 

Blenheim

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 27, 2006
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3,136
My BMs are all great, but I also have quite a few things working in my favor. I really think it helps that I have a small bridal party (3) that is made up of only long-time friends or close relatives. I''ve been extremely close friends with 2 of my BMs since early elementary school, and the other is my FI''s sister (who I adore). They''re also very level-headed and down-to-earth, so very low drama. I''m also asking very little of them, and they''re all young enough that they haven''t become tired of the bridesmaid experience.
 

jas

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,991
Oooh, lordy. I should probably stay out of this one...suffice it to say -- bi-polar sister who refused to be MOH because she didn''t want the attention, but still wanted to be in the bridal party, but not if anyone gave her attention (in other words, no talking to her, no pictures of her) and a MOH who proceeded to make me and my mother nuts. I thought I was causing problems (making her react oddly to something I did) until about 20 minutes before the ceremony she came up to me and said, "You know why I''ve been acting this way? Because I was afraid my arms looked fat in this dress."

Suffice it to say there is a very interesting picture of me and the MOH just at the moment she expressed herself.

Just call me Mrs. Snarkypants.
 

TravelingGal

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Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
I have never known of a wedding party where one of the girls was not a PITA.

However, these wedding parties were normally set up more for "aesthetics" than real friendship or intimacy. Girls that the bride *thought* were friends, but were actually friends of that time in her life - i.e. convenience. If there were 5 groomsmen, then there had to be 5 bridesmaids, etc etc.

I would hate the thought of looking at my wedding pictures and seeing that the people who were standing next to me that day were no longer in my life because of some kind of wedding related falling out. I think this is probably prevented by asking people who are long time friends or relatives, as others have said. In my case, I bypassed bridesmaids altogether and had my brother stand with me. He''s known me the longest and will always be a great friend.
 
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