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Does anyone else feel this way?

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panda08

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
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797
I''ve gone to a number of bridal shops and have tried on 75+ gowns in various prices, shapes, styles and colors. I liked some but have not LOVED anything enough to want to plunk down $$$ for it, as I have this sometimes frustrating quality where I place a mental value on things and if I think the price is too much, I won''t buy it. I''m starting to get depressed because I can''t bring myself to pull the trigger for a dress and I only have six months til the wedding
 

Sparkalicious

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 22, 2007
Messages
3,721
Oh Panda, honey - I''m sorry that you are going through this right now. If it makes you feel any better, I just went through the same thing!

I tried on endless amounts of dresses and hit almost every bridal dress shop in the Pacific Northwest and nada. I finally fell in love with a dress that was well outside of my budget and plain just outside of any reasonable amount of money *I* felt was warranted to spend on a wedding dress and was devastated because I felt as though I would never find anything even close that would make me feel happy.

Anyways, long story short. Keep up the good fight. Your perfect dress is still out there. Keep your mind open and keep plugging away. You WILL find it and it will be perfect!

An option, if you are interested, is maybe to go custom. If you have an idea of what it is that you are seeking in a wedding dress and you have a budget in mind or an idea of a price that is reasonable to you value wise then possibly consult reputable custom bridal dress designers in your area to see if they can whip up something that makes your heart sing.


Good luck with your search, Panda and don''t despair ... If you let us know what the dresses you have found are lacking or let us know what you would like in a dress and give us a budget - you can mobilize your PS Troops and they are bound to find you something!!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Nope, you're not the only one! I firmly believe that I'm not, and never will be, a "OMG THIS IS IT!" person. I don't think I have it in me. Maybe that's how you are, too... or maybe not, and you just haven't tried the "perfect" dress yet.

In the end, I would tell any bride not to worry too much about finding the perfect "this is it!" wedding gown. Maybe what you need is to take the pressure off the gown search, stop trying to find "the one." It's not as important as you think it is. Find something that you love (even if it doesn't make you stop dead in your tracks), and it will be "the perfect wedding dress" in the end because it's your wedding dress.
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,674
Date: 2/24/2009 6:46:09 PM
Author:panda08
I've gone to a number of bridal shops and have tried on 75+ gowns in various prices, shapes, styles and colors. I liked some but have not LOVED anything enough to want to plunk down $$$ for it, as I have this sometimes frustrating quality where I place a mental value on things and if I think the price is too much, I won't buy it. I'm starting to get depressed because I can't bring myself to pull the trigger for a dress and I only have six months til the wedding

I am the same way! However, I started shopping early in the game on Ebay. I've bought no less than FIVE gowns! The first one I didn't love when I received it and tried it on. The second one I decided was too young looking. The third - stunning, but I'm too self-conscious to wear it around anyone but the honey. The fourth - needs extensive alterations to fit right (I have small shoulders). FINALLY, I came across my dream gown! All in all, I've only spent less than $600, so I'm still ahead of the game, and it was so much fun getting the gowns and trying them on in the privacy of my own bedroom. The dream gown retails for $1,200-$1,500, so I got a bargin. It fits almost perfectly, just needs to be hemmed, bustled and taken in at the back.
 

Octavia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 28, 2007
Messages
2,660
Date: 2/24/2009 7:26:59 PM
Author: musey
Nope, you're not the only one! I firmly believe that I'm not, and never will be, a 'OMG THIS IS IT!' person. I don't think I have it in me. Maybe that's how you are, too... or maybe not, and you just haven't tried the 'perfect' dress yet.


In the end, I would tell any bride not to worry too much about finding the perfect 'this is it!' wedding gown. Maybe what you need is to take the pressure off the gown search, stop trying to find 'the one.' It's not as important as you think it is. Find something that you love (even if it doesn't make you stop dead in your tracks), and it will be 'the perfect wedding dress' in the end because it's your wedding dress.
Ditto Musey! I didn't have an "OMG, this is it" moment, but I did like the dress better than anything I'd found, I felt beautiful, it was the kind of dress I'd envisioned myself in, it wasn't much over what I wanted to spend, and I was tired of searching. There was a cheaper dress that I liked a lot, but there were a few things about it that bugged me enough that I couldn't buy that one. If I'd kept looking, I might have found the "perfect" dress, but I kind of doubt it...and I still can't wait to try MY dress on once it comes in! And I REALLY can't wait to wear it on our wedding day!!
 

Clairitek

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
4,881
I was worried I would be in your position too. I think that in the end I tried on 100+ gowns. I wasn''t completely head over heels with the gown I ended up purchasing until I had tried on others and I started to realize that it was a great option and gave it a second thought.

Are there any bridal consignment shops in your area? That might be a good place to look for a few reason. First, you would have instant gratification becase you can take it home with you that day (also helps with the fact that your wedding date is coming up in 6 months). Second, its much cheaper than full price so it might be able to ease your reservations with spending so much on a gown.

I''m sorry I couldn''t be of more use to you! Just keep looking and eventually you will find it.

Oooh... Preownedweddingdresses.com and oncewed.com might be other alternatives. Not sure if you''ve already looked there for some of the gowns that you liked but didn''t want to plunk down the cash for just yet.
 

BeachRunner

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
1,493
Date: 2/24/2009 7:26:59 PM
Author: musey
Nope, you''re not the only one! I firmly believe that I''m not, and never will be, a ''OMG THIS IS IT!'' person. I don''t think I have it in me. Maybe that''s how you are, too... or maybe not, and you just haven''t tried the ''perfect'' dress yet.


In the end, I would tell any bride not to worry too much about finding the perfect ''this is it!'' wedding gown. Maybe what you need is to take the pressure off the gown search, stop trying to find ''the one.'' It''s not as important as you think it is. Find something that you love (even if it doesn''t make you stop dead in your tracks), and it will be ''the perfect wedding dress'' in the end because it''s your wedding dress.
I totally agree with this statement. I realized at my last dress shopping excursion, that I''m not a bride that will have the "I FOUND MY DREAM DRESS" moment too. I have yet to officially order my dress, but as long as I know I will feel amazing in the dress, and love how it looks, it''ll be my dress. Maybe you just have to step "outside the box" and look at the situation differently. Or like Musey said, you may just not have found your dress yet.
 

panda08

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
797
Sparkalicious, thanks so much for your words of encouragement! I just saw the dress you choose in your other thread. Congrats! It''s a stunner! Can''t wait to see pics of you in it.

Musey, yeah, we''re in the same camp, the ones who aren''t "OMG, THIS IS IT!" I''m not so much looking for THE ONE, more than I''m trying to find one that I like well enough at a price point I can live with. LOL! I''m so emotionally detached and practical, sometimes I can''t stand it!

Winks, WOW five gowns! Fifth time''s a charm! Congrats on finding your dream dress. Spending less than $600 is amazing.

Octavia, I like your sentiment about how you can''t wait to wear your dress on your wedding day, even if you didn''t have the OMG moment when you bought it.

Clairitek, I appreciate your kind and helpful words! I''ve trolled preownedweddingdresses.com and oncewed.com!

BeachRunner, I think I have hit the wall with dress shopping and won''t have the OMG moment. I can live with that. And you''re right, as long as the dress feels and looks great, it''ll be fine.
 

booswim542

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
121
I had a semi-OMG moment when I tried on a dress. I got goosebumps. But then 2 months later, I decided it wasn''t the dress for me. Then I tried on a bunch more dresses and never really got that feeling again. But I found another dress that I really like. And I bought it on eBay for 1/2 price. And I''m sticking to it. No more changing dresses for me.

I think finding a dress is like finding a guy. Seriously. There''s probably a few out there that you would be completely compatible with, not just one. You find them, you date them, and then they either grow on your or you get tired of them
So then you end up with one that you can live with...haha.
 

luvbug

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 9, 2008
Messages
274
Panda - I was feeling the exact same way. I had been to probably 20 bridal appointments in 3 states and was looking for ~6 months. I don''t even want to think about how many dresses I tried on!

Anyway, one of the last places I went the owner said something that helped me make my decision. She said "Most girls don''t have that OMG moment. You just have to look at what''s out there, find what''s flattering on you and get the dress that stands out in your mind. You''re probably thinking about 1 or 2 more than all of the others and then you have your dress."

The more I thought about it, I was thinking about one dress more than the others, but it wasn''t what I originally pictured for myself. After mulling it over for weeks, I went back tried on the dress I kept thinking about again and even though it wasn''t what I originally wanted I think it''s right.

Good luck!!!
 

brandy_z28

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2008
Messages
1,934
I most definitely didn''t have that OMG this is the one moment when I was trying on dresses. I found quite a few dresses that I liked, I probably tried on 75+ and I finally decided on one that had the most of the things I wanted and was quite frankly just tired of looking. So I think it''s pretty normal to feel that way.
 

lliang_chi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
3,740
Panda,

I was the same way. In fact I didn''t have the OMG moment with my dress, but I had a I really like it. The way I felt, I don''t need to find the dress that gives me butterflies and goosebumps. I just looked for the dress that I felt gorgeous in and went with that.

Do post pics of what you like and what you don''t like. There''s a lot of talented fashion savvy ladies on PS that can help you.
 

Amandine

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2007
Messages
794
Date: 2/25/2009 9:16:31 AM
Author: luvbug
Panda - I was feeling the exact same way. I had been to probably 20 bridal appointments in 3 states and was looking for ~6 months. I don''t even want to think about how many dresses I tried on!

Anyway, one of the last places I went the owner said something that helped me make my decision. She said ''Most girls don''t have that OMG moment. You just have to look at what''s out there, find what''s flattering on you and get the dress that stands out in your mind. You''re probably thinking about 1 or 2 more than all of the others and then you have your dress.''

The more I thought about it, I was thinking about one dress more than the others, but it wasn''t what I originally pictured for myself. After mulling it over for weeks, I went back tried on the dress I kept thinking about again and even though it wasn''t what I originally wanted I think it''s right.

Good luck!!!
This is exactly what happened to me. I couldn''t get my "dream dress" (which I need to post on that thread), as it wasn''t being made anymore. I tried on a lot of gowns, too, but it came down to which one I thought about the most, and which one I compared all of the others to.
 

blackbetty

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Messages
198
i feel the same way. i kept joking that i''ve never had that OMG moment about anything in my life, but i''m still bummed that i didn''t. but at the end of the day, i know i''ll look beautiful on my day & that my pics will be beautiful, and i''m trying not to worry about it too much, because it''s one dress, one day. i know the dress is beautiful & flattering, even if i didn''t feel the butterflies in my stomach or whatever. there are probably a number of dresses that look gorgeous on you, & no matter what you choose, you will feel beautiful and wonderful and loved that day.

my ring, on the other hand, i have picked out & am in love with, since i will wear it the rest of my life! ;-) and i''m pretty sure about the guy, too! lol
 

Winslet

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
303
It''s funny, I never had an OMG moment with the dress that I finally chose - I really liked it but I''d already had a teary, emotional moment with another dress a few weeks before (but decided against that one because I knew FI would hate it). On a bit of a whim, I went back and put the deposit down on the one that "did more for my figure" in my mom''s opinion. After looking at pictures of me in the dress over the next few weeks, I became more and more convinced that I''d chosen the right one. And now I KNOW I love it more than the dress I had the OMG moment with
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,674
I think it is easier to pick a husband than a wedding gown!
 

katamari

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
2,949
Have you been to or thought about looking at bridal consignment shops or on resale websites?

I am not an emotional buyer, so I really didn''t expect to feel that way (and never did). Plus, I was like you in that it had to be exponentially more fabulous as it got into the next price point for me to buy it, so I always walked away and ended up finding a reason not to buy. I did, though, find two styles on me that looked far better than others and I kept looking until I found one that was at a cost I was comfortable with and was one of those two styles.

I ended up finding my at the running of the brides, and I think I needed that kind of pressure to commit. Plus, at those prices it was silly not to buy if I found one that was in good condition and a style I liked. So, maybe trying sample sales or a more high pressure situation could help? You are looking for a simpler dress, right (or am I remembering wrongly)? Anything that sparks you interest or looked good on you?
 

xoxo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
185
Hi Panda08 I hope you get to find the wedding dress of your dreams don''t give up hang in there. You have a very helpful heart and kind so for sure you''ll find "the" dress. keep us posted
 
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