Do you try not to "copy" your friends jewelery?

[MonkeyPie]

I just read the post about how you like a stone shape until you try it on, and realize it doesn''t suit you. I always wanted a princess, but found out that pears actually look the best on my hand. Unfortunately, my best friend had a halo pear (Zales set), and both she and her husband begged me not to get a pear when my husband and I started looking because she had one "first." At the time I sort of brushed it off, but I absolutely love pears and I wish so much that I had gotten one anyway. Pear cuts are not common where I live, she is the only one I know that has one (one of the few I have seen period, at least here), so I think that is part of why she wished I wouldn''t. She wanted to stand out.

So my question is - if a friend asked you this, would you go with their wishes or not?

 

[lyra]

I guess it depends on the relationship. I would never do that to someone else, I think it''s silly and selfish. Is she really going to care 25 years from now? No, but you might sit there for 25 years wishing you had a pear. That''s unfair. I guess I don''t understand the whole issue of having to have something that is different from everyone else. It''s not really different (except for the design perhaps), millions of people have pears. I''m sure you would set it your own way anyway.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I remember my best friend at the time (when we got engaged) was VERY upset that I got an EC. She wanted an EC and doesn''t like to have the same things as her friend. In my defense I picked out my setting and my DH chose my diamond (shape included) so I had no control over it. The longer I thought about it the sillier I thought it was. My setting is very unique and I know she wanted a totally different setting. Is it fair to put dibs on the diamond shape? Heck no! I mean how many shapes are there anyways? Mostly likely you have more friends than that so someone will have to have the same. If it was the entire ring I probably would respect her and choose a different style but if we are only talking about a pear shaped diamond...go for it. She is being childish.

 

[D&T]

Date: 7/17/2009 4:48:45 PM
Author: lyra
I guess it depends on the relationship. I would never do that to someone else, I think it''s silly and selfish. Is she really going to care 25 years from now? No, but you might sit there for 25 years wishing you had a pear. That''s unfair. I guess I don''t understand the whole issue of having to have something that is different from everyone else. It''s not really different (except for the design perhaps), millions of people have pears. I''m sure you would set it your own way anyway.

totally agree here with lyra - i think its a bit childish for your friend to ask you not to "copy" when if you think about it, it is almost like you are complimenting her taste so to speak.

 

[Prana]

I don''t think that having a certain shape of diamond could be considered copying. I think that it was unfair and really inappropriate of her to think that she should have any say in what type of ring you will own. Was your husband present when she asked this? Because you could always just say that he got it for you and it was a big surprise! That way she can''t call you a copy-cat. I still think that she is rediculous though.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Question about your friend - is she like this about everything? Seems like she is being self-centered as if the world revolves around her and her pear diamond! Regardless if my friend requested what yours has, or not, I''d purchase the stone I wanted. Of course, I would set it differently.

 

[LamborghiniGirl]

I wouldn't copy any of my friends' jewelry since I don't like any of it.

But, I have a friend who copies literally, everything I purchase. I colored my hair a certain color, then she went to the same place and had them do the same thing.

I bought a certain LV bag, she did too. I bought a pair of Choos, she bought the same ones. Those are just 2 examples, the fashion copies go on and on!

I bought a BMW M3, she did too a few months later. I am about to switch to a BMW M6, and while she always said she thought it was ugly, now she wants one too! And her dream was always to have a Ferrari, and now that I have a Lamborghini, her dream is to have a Lamborghini. Same color, same model as me!

SO, with jewelry it is just as bad! She was set on a round brilliant, IF, D triple EX 2 ct diamond in a Tiffany's setting. She asked me multiple times what my dream ring looked like, and I always evaded the question, as I do not want her to make a replica of mine!

So as mean as it sounds... I told her my dream ring is an Emerald cut solitaire from Cartier. And guess what?! She told her BF a few weeks ago she changed her mind and THAT is her 'new' dream ring!

It may seem petty but I really don't want my future ring to be copied. The shape of the diamond, like a Cushion, is one thing, but knowing her she will copy the setting, size, designer and everything is another!

/end vent

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/17/2009 5:07:04 PM
Author: MC
Question about your friend - is she like this about everything? Seems like she is being self-centered as if the world revolves around her and her pear diamond! Regardless if my friend requested what yours has, or not, I''d purchase the stone I wanted. Of course, I would set it differently.

Yes and no - she is the best friend I have, supports me in pretty much everything, is always there when I need a shoulder, ect. She would give me the shirt off her back. But she is very material, and I think it would have been ok except that her husband was the one that first brought it up. When I was talking to her at her house about getting engaged, right away he asked if my diamond was going to be bigger, because he "had worked hard to get her the biggest diamond of all of her friends." Which is a load of b.s. because his mommy ended up paying for most of it, if you catch my drift. But right away after that she mentioned that she hoped we had different diamond shapes because hers was unique. Eh.

Her ring is very nice for a maul store ring, a nice, clear diamond and it''s set in a halo...which is unfortunately exactly what I would want. I thought about getting a different shape in a halo, but a pear is still my first love. I think down the road when I get a new diamond I am going to just go for it and tell her that it is what I have always wanted, and if she doesn''t like it, then she just doesn''t have to look at it.

Maybe I will get a yellow diamond so she can''t whine

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/17/2009 5:25:01 PM
Author: LamborghiniGirl
I wouldn''t copy any of my friends'' jewelry since I don''t like any of it.

But, I have a friend who copies literally, everything I purchase. I colored my hair a certain color, then she went to the same place and had them do the same thing.

I bought a certain LV bag, she did too. I bought a pair of Choos, she bought the same ones. Those are just 2 examples, the fashion copies go on and on!

I bought a BMW M3, she did too a few months later. I am about to switch to a BMW M6, and while she always said she thought it was ugly, now she wants one too! And her dream was always to have a Ferrari, and now that I have a Lamborghini, her dream is to have a Lamborghini. Same color, same model as me!

SO, with jewelry it is just as bad! She was set on a round brilliant, IF, D triple EX 2 ct diamond in a Tiffany''s setting. She asked me multiple times what my dream ring looked like, and I always evaded the question, as I do not want her to make a replica of mine!

So as mean as it sounds... I told her my dream ring is an Emerald cut solitaire from Cartier. And guess what?! She told her BF a few weeks ago she changed her mind and THAT is her ''new'' dream ring!

It may seem petty but I really don''t want my future ring to be copied. A Cushion diamond is one thing, but knowing her she will copy the setting, size, designer and everything.

/end vent

Well that''s really unfortunate

Is she a good friend otherwise? People like that make me feel sad for them, that they have no mind of their own.

I swear I didn''t just want a pear because she got one - it really does look the best on my hand. I will go into the shop she got her ring at just to try it on and feel a little sad, because I really would love to have it. I tried to be kind, but now that my husband and I are talking about getting me a new set, I just keep thinking about it.

 

[D&T]

Maybe I will get a yellow diamond so she can''t whine

Now you''ll be the one that''s unique instead of hers

and I like that idea!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/17/2009 5:31:04 PM
Author: D&T

Maybe I will get a yellow diamond so she can''t whine

Now you''ll be the one that''s unique instead of hers

and I like that idea!

There is actually one that I LOVE that has a blue (irradiated) diamond in a bezel halo - I will post a pic when I get home and have the website handy. It isn''t identical to her setting, either - hers has prongs. Yay!

 

[D&T]

Date: 7/17/2009 5:33:05 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 7/17/2009 5:31:04 PM
Author: D&T

Maybe I will get a yellow diamond so she can''t whine

Now you''ll be the one that''s unique instead of hers

and I like that idea!

There is actually one that I LOVE that has a blue (irradiated) diamond in a bezel halo - I will post a pic when I get home and have the website handy. It isn''t identical to her setting, either - hers has prongs. Yay!

do it! go for it MP! I love your blue and bezel idea too!

 

[LamborghiniGirl]

Well that's really unfortunate

Is she a good friend otherwise? People like that make me feel sad for them, that they have no mind of their own.


I swear I didn't just want a pear because she got one - it really does look the best on my hand. I will go into the shop she got her ring at just to try it on and feel a little sad, because I really would love to have it. I tried to be kind, but now that my husband and I are talking about getting me a new set, I just keep thinking about it.

Oh no! I wasn't implying you wanted a Pear just because she had one, or that you are anything like my friend! I think that you should definitely upgrade, for lack of a better term, to the shape you always wanted! If she is a good friend, she will understand and if anything, will be flattered you share a similar taste in diamond shape. I hope she doesn't think that she is the only person around the town that can have a pear?

My friend means well, she really does. And her copying me is fine in every other realm, but I would prefer to have a ring of my own, and not 2 of them out there! Like I said, if she realizes she likes Cushions after she sees one on me, that is fine. But I think I may get a little heated if she wants to copy everything about it. Down to the mm size of the melee

 

[MonkeyPie]

Found it!

Not from the site I was thinking of (this site has it for almost 1k more, omg!), but it''s the exact same ring. Soooo pretty.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Whoops, here is a bigger shot.

 

[D&T]

Date: 7/17/2009 5:44:30 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
Whoops, here is a bigger shot.

oh man oh man!DROOL DROOL DROOL - I am in love

you definitely need to get it now

 

[Haven]

I don''t try not to copy my friends'' jewelry, but I certainly don''t try to copy it, either.
I simply get what I love and if it happens to be similar to a friend''s jewelry, so be it.

MP, I agree that it''s selfish of this friend to beg you to not get a pear stone. If she had some innovative design that was really unique, then I think that would be one thing, but a PEAR shaped diamond is not exactly something groundbreaking. (Gorgeous, though!)

Lamborghini Girl--Ever seen Single White Female?

 

[cellentani]

Date: 7/17/2009 5:25:12 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Yes and no - she is the best friend I have, supports me in pretty much everything, is always there when I need a shoulder, ect. She would give me the shirt off her back. But she is very material, and I think it would have been ok except that her husband was the one that first brought it up. When I was talking to her at her house about getting engaged, right away he asked if my diamond was going to be bigger, because he ''had worked hard to get her the biggest diamond of all of her friends.'' Which is a load of b.s. because his mommy ended up paying for most of it, if you catch my drift. But right away after that she mentioned that she hoped we had different diamond shapes because hers was unique. Eh.

Her ring is very nice for a maul store ring, a nice, clear diamond and it''s set in a halo...which is unfortunately exactly what I would want. I thought about getting a different shape in a halo, but a pear is still my first love. I think down the road when I get a new diamond I am going to just go for it and tell her that it is what I have always wanted, and if she doesn''t like it, then she just doesn''t have to look at it.

Maybe I will get a yellow diamond so she can''t whine

Huh? It might not be as popular as a round brilliant, but a pear ain''t exactly unique. MP, you need to be happy with this ring for a long time, so get what truly makes your heart beat faster - your friend will get over it if she''s a good friend. It sucks when people act like this.

But, I looooove that blue pear you posted!! Just don''t let her (or her husband) psychologically intimidate you into not choosing your real favorite!

 

[packrat]

Beautiful ring Monkey! Is that the one you''re thinking of? I guess if it were me, I''d be thrilled to pieces if someone liked something of mine so much they wanted something similar. I think your friend should be flattered, personally.

 

[atroop711]

Date: 7/17/2009 4:44:55 PM
Author:MonkeyPie
I just read the post about how you like a stone shape until you try it on, and realize it doesn''t suit you. I always wanted a princess, but found out that pears actually look the best on my hand. Unfortunately, my best friend had a halo pear (Zales set), and both she and her husband begged me not to get a pear when my husband and I started looking because she had one ''first.'' At the time I sort of brushed it off, but I absolutely love pears and I wish so much that I had gotten one anyway. Pear cuts are not common where I live, she is the only one I know that has one (one of the few I have seen period, at least here), so I think that is part of why she wished I wouldn''t. She wanted to stand out.


So my question is - if a friend asked you this, would you go with their wishes or not?

No...to me this is so juvenile. It reminds me of when ppl say "I like the name Andrew...don''t use that name...it''s my boy name!"
If you want a pear shaped stone get it. If she MUST have a reason tell her that this is the only shape you like on your fingers (but I don''t think you need to explain yourself).

I wouldn''t care if my friend got an e-ring that was in a halo like mine..I think if you were going to get the exact ring as her then it may bother her...so don''t get the same...but getting the same shape stone is fine.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I'd get whatever I want regardless of what anyone else thinks!

 

[Elmorton]

No, my taste in jewelry tends to be slightly more modern than my friends'', so it''s typically not even remotely an issue.

I can''t say I didn''t breathe a sigh of relief when after all the dust had settled after friends'' engagements, I realized no one else has an EC, though. I like the fact that my ring is different than my friends'' and there''s nothing to "compare" to. I''d never, ever ask a friend NOT to get a ring like mine, and if a friend wanted my help choosing an EC, I''d certainly jump to do it - but if I''m being honest with myself, I''d probably feel a little bummed about it.

 

[ficklefaye]

most of my friends hardly wear jewelry, so there is nothing to copy

but i do think it is childish that your friend does not want you to get a pear shaped diamond just because she has one, what difference would it make if you also had a pear? would it make her feel less special about her own?

the ring you posted with the blue diamond looks just gorgeous

she can''t say you copied her if you bought that one!

 

[Dancing Fire]

if you don''t want your friends copying you,then pick one of these.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/unique-and-unusual-post-them-here.18524/

 

[Indylady]

Hehe, a yellow pear! That''s a good idea. It is a little bit of a bummer for your friend to call ''dibs'' on a e-ring diamond shape. Its something you''ll be living with for the rest of you life, and its something to symbolize the love between you and your SO...meaning that she should have no say it in whatsoever. And the comment her husband made about having the biggest? Jeez louise! Oh well... After seeing Amytheste''s lemony pear I have begun to have a new appreciation for yellow diamonds! So that might be an excellent idea and definitely unique!

 

[kittybean]

It''s pretty easy for me not to copy my friends'' jewelry. So far, we have different tastes, so I don''t worry about it too much. I am the only one of my circle of friends to have an EC, but I wouldn''t be upset at all if someone else got one. (It might be a little weird if they got the exact same size and setting too, though.)

MP, I don''t think you should worry about the pear thing. Her husband sounds terribly insecure, and it almost seems to me like he''s the one who is having the bigger problem with you getting a pear. I can''t believe he said that he''d worked so hard to get her the "biggest diamond of all of her friends." Who says something like that? I understand some people think it, but it is another story to be saying it aloud to someone and begging them not to get something bigger, etc. So weird (and totally gauche)!

I''d say get your pear anyway, especially that amazing blue one! Since she is your best friend, maybe a gorgeous colored diamond would be a good compromise

.

 

[whitby_2773]

hmmmm. i have to tell you, i really dislike this sort of request. it puts you in *such* a difficult position when you inevitably have to say "i''m sorry - but i''m getting a pear!"

MP, you''ve maybe read enough of my posts to know that i''m the type who is a good friend. i don''t play ''hardball'' with friends, and for the people i love i''d do almost anything and fit in with any request, no matter how it inconvenienced me, so long as it was a request with some VALIDITY to it. but my engagement ring is between my fiance and me, and he''s the ONLY person i''d be feeling like i had to please with what i chose. nor can i conceive a person asking me not to choose one of the 9 common shapes in diamonds; i mean, it''s not like there''s a hundred readily available cuts to choose from - there''s just only so many different directions you can go with this. what she''s saying is - she wants you to have a more common cut so you DONT stand out. who asks this? a friend is someone who says "oh! oh! i know! get a PEAR! we''ll be the only 2 people with them!"

if this ever becomes an immediate issue, i''d ask your fiance to call your friend (not her fiance - just her) to give her a heads up that a pear is what HE wants to give you, but that he knows she''s had issues with you having a pear, so he didn''t want her to be blindsided by it. let her know he intends to get you what you truly want, and that you initially DIDN''T get what you wanted - to please her - but that he, as your fiance, is now gonna get you what you actually wanted all along. reassure her that it will be in a different setting and won''t look identical - that you will each have your own ring, but that they will each have a pear in them. end of story. in other words, let him be the bad guy in exactly the same way she got her fiance to be the bad guy for her. he doesn''t have to ''call her on it'' - it doesn''t have to be confrontational - it just has to be information. not request, not challenge, not thumbing your nose at her - just information.

i get that she truly is a friend - but this is an unfair request, and deep down she probably knows it. if she was someone who had never felt special in her life, someone who needed to stand out for some kind of genuine reason - yes, i''d probably consider even a request like this. but for no reason? no - definitely not. i''d keep the lines of communication open, and get over this as lightly as i could, but i''d still have the ring i wanted. your fiance can explain that, out of deference to her, you didn''t get the ring you really wanted first off. you bought something different and took the financial hit to do so. but now that the newness of it all has dissipated, you''d like to have the ring you love, and that you hope she can be as supportive about this as you clearly were for her.

monkeypie, i dont like the idea of you not getting the ring of your dreams because you''ve been hustled - and that''s what this is.

a ring isn''t worth a good friendship in my book, but there really should be room for both. if there isn''t, it won''t have been you who squeezed one of them out.

 

[LamborghiniGirl]

Lamborghini Girl--Ever seen Single White Female?

You know I haven''t, but I just read the synopsis of IMDB and got the chills... To be honest, she was pretty upset when I first started dating my BF about 1.5 yrs ago. I think she was very jealous that my time was now shared between friends and bf, as opposed to just her!

I seriously could go on and on about things she has copied-- handmade gifts I made for my BF, vacation destinations (like the same hotel and restaurants and everything). Yet I don''t think she is psycho, I just don''t think she can lead her life in her own direction.

But MonkeyPie I am so sorry I went off-topic! Bottom line is you should get a pear

and she will have to get over herself! Buying the same shape, simply, will never be copying. And that blue one is to die! Awesome setting too!

 

[swingirl]

Your friend made a very unfair request of you. She had no business asking you to get something less for yourself so she could have more. I would expect more from a "best friend". You shouldn't have to take less nor be put in the position to qualify your ring should you decide to get a pear.

But pears come in so many sizes and shapes not to mention all the settings. PLUS if you find one through PS it will be fabulous compared to a Zales ring.

The answer though is, no I won't play that game. I've never been asked to. But if I was, I'd say, "Sorry, I'm going to pick out what I like."

 

[omieluv]

I would have to agree in that I think your BF was out of line with her request. I am curious though, how did she come up with the idea of a pear/halo design for her e-ring? Was this a design that she has always dreamed of like you? Were you the person who influenced her e-ring?

As others have mentioned, there are different shapes of pear that can be found. Additionally, there is more than one way to halo a stone, so I am fairly confident you will be able to create a ring that stands out from your BF''s e-ring. Using a beautiful colored pear is a great idea, in fact. Whatever you decide, if she is truly your BF, she will be happy that you were able to design the perfect e-ring for yourself.

Regarding your original question, no, I do not copy jewelery my friends have. However, I must confess that I developed an appreciation for vintage e-rings when my friend was searching for her e-ring. We went to a few really nice antique stores and it seemed like I loved every ring they showed her. She ended up with an EC sapphire with two diamond bags on an antique setting and has an antique wedding band. My interest in vintage jewelery remained and I restored my great grandmother''s ering and I wear it quite often. My ering is an antique reproduction, in fact. So, one may argue that I "coppied" her vintage flair and maybe I did, but it was not as if I went out and had a replica of her wedding set made.