Do you think your peeps would be shocked...

[canuk-gal]

Yes, my parents and inlaws would be surprised and probably judgmental.

My MIL spends boatloads of money on jewelry (no exaggeration, she spends $100,000+ per year) but it is all crappy stuff from bad mall stores and online auctions. She is a sweet lady and I've tried to steer her towards nicer jewelry, but she believes in quantity over quality. She just loves to buy, buy, buy.

I remember one time when we were chatting I mentioned how fun it is to look at the beautiful antique jewelry on Lange's website. She pulled up the site and exclaimed how crazy the prices are and only fools would spend that much on a single piece of jewelry. (But she spends much more money on tons of junk that has zero resale value!!!!). And she doesn't even get pleasure from her jewelry after the purchase is made. She doesn't wear it, she just stashes it in overflowing piles in her stuffed-to-the-brim house.

So I know she'd be horrified at how much I spend on so few pieces. Quality is a concept beyond her.

And my own mom doesn't get jewelry at all. She doesn't even own an engagement ring.

Maybe your MIL will leave her stuff to you!

 

[KristinTech]

Oh, yes. Even those closest to me really have no idea about the “bottom line.” My husband does, but no one else!

 

[Cerulean]

I don’t consider myself as someone with an extravagant collection AT ALL, (wedding set, moonstone cluster, a few smaller pieces) but my mother pried to ask about how much I spent on my engagement ring and subsequent replacement and I regretted telling her. I don’t mention any of my purchases anymore and if people happen to notice, so be it.

most of my peers bought moissy e-rings and are anti diamond, so I just keep my mouth shut.

 

[yssie]

most of my peers bought moissy e-rings and are anti diamond, so I just keep my mouth shut.

I loathe the focus of this tradition.
Despite loathing the focus of this tradition, I still want to participate in said tradition.
So I’m going to substitute that #LoathsomeFocus with something else... Which is wholly indistinguishable to the eye.
Which just happens to be the only sense that the original #LoathsomeFocus appealed to.

... I suppose I’d best keep my mouth shut too. That hypocrisy and ignorance together yield futility seems... Futile to point out.

 

[Cerulean]

I loathe the focus of this tradition.
Despite loathing the focus of this tradition, I still want to participate in said tradition.
So I’m going to substitute that #LoathsomeFocus with something else... Which is wholly un-differentiable to the eye.
Which just happens to be the only sense that the original #LoathsomeFocus appealed to.

... I suppose I’d best keep my mouth shut too. That hypocrisy and ignorance together yield futility seems... Futile to point out.

Oh, I couldn’t agree more (setting aside cases where someone simply prefers the look/traits of moissy/ colored stones).

My favorite are ardent and vocal critics who feel empowered by their superior moral compass who fail to extend any of their ethics to any other aspect of their day to day...notice I said peers, not necessarily friends

 

[LilAlex]

Yes. Modest house, cars, and clothes.

We also splurge on the occasional vacation (remember those?) and crazy-good meals on said vacations.

 

[inne]

Probably not. My collection is tiny and not worth all that much. I love my jewellery, but I'm pretty set with what I have and read Pricescope just to look at other people's beautiful pieces.

But a few days ago, I renewed my insurance on my horse and the policy documents include purchase price information. The first thought I had was, 'Oh my god, I hope my parents don't see this if I die.' So that's my morbid thought.

 

[secretagentlaura]

I think that just my sister would, because that's just how she is. Even though I don't have many pieces at all, If she realized that my new bracelet that she describes as "that industrial-looking bangle that you found somewhere" is actually from Cartier, she'd probably rant about how she could have fed her six cats for life for the same amount of money.

 

[jordyonbass]

When I show people a bag of rough Opal and tell them how much I paid for it, I usually get a look of shock and confusion...

 

[RunningwithScissors]

Maybe your MIL will leave her stuff to you!

I honestly don't want it.

Seeing her hemorrhage money the way she does just makes me very sad. If her purchases made her happy, then I'd be happy for her. But they don't.

If she leaves the stuff to me in her will, I would probably keep one or two pieces out of guilt, but they'd make me sad every time I saw them. They represent a sickness.

If I tried to sell the jewelry pieces I'd have to do it in bulk because none of them are worth anything individually on the open market. They are super poor quality, like lab sapphires in 10K flimsy gold settings, now all scratched up because they were stored in plastic bags with literally 500 other similar rings. And chipped onyx bracelets from Kay from the 1980's and bad quality strands of pearls stored in a crumbled ball underneath a pile of stiletto healed boots and exercise equipment.

It makes my husband cry.

She had one beautiful ring that I would have loved to inherit. It was an engagement ring and was a very large emerald cut diamond with smaller emerald cuts on either side. But she lost it at a restaurant and it was never found.

 

[OdetteOdile]

I honestly don't want it.

Seeing her hemorrhage money the way she does just makes me very sad. If her purchases made her happy, then I'd be happy for her. But they don't.

If she leaves the stuff to me in her will, I would probably keep one or two pieces out of guilt, but they'd make me sad every time I saw them. They represent a sickness.

If I tried to sell the jewelry pieces I'd have to do it in bulk because none of them are worth anything individually on the open market. They are super poor quality, like lab sapphires in 10K flimsy gold settings, now all scratched up because they were stored in plastic bags with literally 500 other similar rings. And chipped onyx bracelets from Kay from the 1980's and bad quality strands of pearls stored in a crumbled ball underneath a pile of stiletto healed boots and exercise equipment.

It makes my husband cry.

She had one beautiful ring that I would have loved to inherit. It was an engagement ring and was a very large emerald cut diamond with smaller emerald cuts on either side. But she lost it at a restaurant and it was never found.

This is very sad @RunningwithScissors . It sounds like a hoarding situation. I can see why this would make you and your husband very sad. I’m sorry. What a shame about the lost diamond ring!

 

[gregchang35]

I don’t even know how much I spend... and would shock myself, ehheeh.

they know my love for jewelry.

 

[canuk-gal]

I honestly don't want it.

Seeing her hemorrhage money the way she does just makes me very sad. If her purchases made her happy, then I'd be happy for her. But they don't.

If she leaves the stuff to me in her will, I would probably keep one or two pieces out of guilt, but they'd make me sad every time I saw them. They represent a sickness.

If I tried to sell the jewelry pieces I'd have to do it in bulk because none of them are worth anything individually on the open market. They are super poor quality, like lab sapphires in 10K flimsy gold settings, now all scratched up because they were stored in plastic bags with literally 500 other similar rings. And chipped onyx bracelets from Kay from the 1980's and bad quality strands of pearls stored in a crumbled ball underneath a pile of stiletto healed boots and exercise equipment.

It makes my husband cry.

She had one beautiful ring that I would have loved to inherit. It was an engagement ring and was a very large emerald cut diamond with smaller emerald cuts on either side. But she lost it at a restaurant and it was never found.

I am mortified I upset you. Sincerely.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

I am mortified I upset you. Sincerely.

Oh honey, you didn't upset me. Hugs to you!

It actually was a relief to be able to vocalize how I feel about my MIL. It was the first time I talked about it openly (or wrote about it.) I love her very much but she has a disorder and it makes us all sad in the family. She is a wonderful woman in so many ways.

Please don't worry, I'm not upset at all.

 

[Mreader]

Yes I think people would definitely be shocked especially because my profession (education) isn't considered a money making one! But it gives me joy. @RunningwithScissors my mother didn't have as much of a compulsion as you describe, but she was definitely quantity over quality with the exception of a few pieces; I have kept some for sentimental reasons but when she passed, I ended up selling many of her rings (and she had TONS - but they were the QVC, dept store, etc type - so think basic gemstones in simple gold settings) and the sheer volume of what she had meant I was able to accumulate a sizeable sum. With that, and adding some of my own money, I was able to purchase the three stone fancy yellow (in current avatar). So in a way it still makes me think of her because it is thanks to all of her jewelry that I was able to spend that much on one single ring.

 

[secretagentdee]

Think my family would be a bit shocked because they don’t realise how much quality diamonds cost. In my husbands culture gold has more value over diamonds (most only wear small if any diamonds). I have received some expensive pieces when I got married but I’m not a gold person so I feel it’s a bit of a waste for every day but I do wear them on occasions. My husband thinks my diamond spending is a bit overboard but knows I love them and I don’t spend big on anything else so its justified. He spends on cars so we all have our things we love to spend on.

 

[MillieLou]

Interesting topic. I don't think anyone notices or cares enough to judge me, but I have a tendency to judge myself by the social norms around me, where upgrading and spending big money on jewellery for oneself is very uncommon. So, I have never got exactly what I wanted, and gone for less expensive alternatives that, while beautiful, have never been quite what my heart desired. I'm now in a position to get my dream ring, which we can comfortably afford, but am still hesitating as I can't get my head around spending That Amount of Money on a Frivolous Thing

 

[lilmosun]

My husband would fall on the floor (all my jewelry spending comes out of my separate personal account). But to be fair, I think if anyone were to add up the amount they spent on many categories of things over time would be surprised how it adds up. The difference is jewelry is something you retain and still has some value at the end.

 

[lilmosun]

Yes, my parents and inlaws would be surprised and probably judgmental.

My MIL spends boatloads of money on jewelry (no exaggeration, she spends $100,000+ per year) but it is all crappy stuff from bad mall stores and online auctions. She is a sweet lady and I've tried to steer her towards nicer jewelry, but she believes in quantity over quality. She just loves to buy, buy, buy.

I remember one time when we were chatting I mentioned how fun it is to look at the beautiful antique jewelry on Lange's website. She pulled up the site and exclaimed how crazy the prices are and only fools would spend that much on a single piece of jewelry. (But she spends much more money on tons of junk that has zero resale value!!!!). And she doesn't even get pleasure from her jewelry after the purchase is made. She doesn't wear it, she just stashes it in overflowing piles in her stuffed-to-the-brim house.

So I know she'd be horrified at how much I spend on so few pieces. Quality is a concept beyond her.

And my own mom doesn't get jewelry at all. She doesn't even own an engagement ring.

My mom used to collect nicer pieces back in the day. Now she shops catalogs and TV (JTV/QVC/HSN)...and the pandemic has made it worse. She can't understand why people need to spend $$$$ when they can get pretty pieces for under $50.

And if I have to be completely honest, with all I've spent on my jewelry, I could own some really high-end pieces instead of having so many pieces in the $1,000 give or take range. So as long as it's something that keeps her happy and she is spending within her means, who am I to judge.

 

[doberman]

I loathe the focus of this tradition.
Despite loathing the focus of this tradition, I still want to participate in said tradition.
So I’m going to substitute that #LoathsomeFocus with something else... Which is wholly indistinguishable to the eye.
Which just happens to be the only sense that the original #LoathsomeFocus appealed to.

... I suppose I’d best keep my mouth shut too. That hypocrisy and ignorance together yield futility seems... Futile to point out.

My thoughts exactly. But I side eye the whole diamonds are evil bit when it's transparently about cost.