Do you think there''s a link between...

[larussel03]

Playing with/seeing a newborn ish baby and wanting a baby?

I''ve heard all the theories on how pregnant women release pheremones that make other women want to get pregnant, which is why women at a workplace tend to get preggers all aroudn the same time (I dont know that this is really proven though), but I''m soooooooooooooo not a child/baby person, but I saw a baby today whose mother was a little older than me and I absolutely fell in love and now I want one!! I know it''s not pracitical and that I dont "really" want one until I''m ~30 years old (just my so called plan) but do you think there''s something biological about seeing a baby and then wanting one of your own??

 

[Cind11]

In my case I don''t think there was anything biological about wanting a baby. When I was in my 20''s I saw lots of moms with babies and the babies really did nothing for me. I decided I did want children (but not from seeing other women''s babies) and had my first child at age 33. I was even a little worried that I wouldn''t get "into" motherhood. Fortunately, I was absolutely nuts about my own two girls when I had them (so I guess that was a sort of biological thing). And now (my girls are 11 and 13) I have gone back to really not being that wild about babies. I see women with them and think "Wow, I''m glad I''m not at that stage." I frequently think that a baby can be somewhat cute, but not really do that much for me. It''ll be interesting to hear what other people say.

 

[jetmal]

hhhmmm, not sure how it is for everyone, but I am going to side with Cindi on this issue....
I did have those feelings when I was younger.......and wanted to get pregnant.

Now, my kids are 8 and 5 and when I see a baby, I think "cute, I''ll hold her/him.....hhhmmmm, they smell so good.......aahhh I miss the baby stage....."
and then it happens....THEY CRY, FUSS, OR POOP! and I feel great when I can hand them back to their mommy and say "oopss, I think she wants YOU!"

I get my baby fix from my friends with little ones now....and it does the trick. I too am so glad to be "out of that stage" for many reasons....

dont get me wrong, I loved when my boys were babies......and I do miss it....
but I guess you know when you are done with that......

 

[AChiOAlumna]

I''ve never wanted children and now all my friends are having babies. When I go to visit, I love playing with their infants and newborns, but there''s no "biological timeclock" that gets triggered. My father''s "grandfather timeclock" does get triggered when he sees me holding my friends'' babies, but I guess I wasn''t born with that timeclock....in fact, the moment the baby gets fussy, I can immediately give the baby back to their mommy and I have no misgivings about doing so...

 

[Mara]

I like visiting our friends with kids and playing with the baby or holding it, but at the end of the visit, I feel a sense of relief when we can leave and it's all nice and quiet and just us again....haha. Maybe someday that will change, but I don't feel like I want to actually have a baby when we see friends with them. Though it is interesting to watch your friends change after kids. And if I DO start feeling like 'oh thats just so cute'...that's almost like a cue for the baby to throw up or start wailing in which case I am jolted swiftly back to reality...

 

[monarch64]

Not for me. Babies pretty much scare the crap out of me, ha ha! My clock has started ticking, but only in the sense that when my friends started having kids I started thinking maybe I should too. We''re kind of in the "not trying, but not NOT trying" stage...if it happens for us, so be it, but by no means do I cuddle a little one and go home and jump my hubby.

 

[Lorelei]

Not with human babies - but with kittens, puppies and foals! That gets me broody really quickly!

Interesting point Sweetpea, maybe it is possible......

 

[firebirdgold]

I think there may be something to it. The very first time my 'clock' started making sounds was when I held a friend's 2 week old baby. I was fairly anti-kids at the time, but it was just like my heart stopped for a second, and I was overcome with this yearning. There is definitely something hard-wired in! Ever since then I haven't discounted the idea of having children.

There's also clearly a mental aspect to the whole clock thing. I always assumed there would be medical issues with my being pregnant. But I was recently told that the new medications I'm on have a very low risk of problems. Every since then I've had this softening of my attitude towards kids. When I went to dinner with a friend and her 5 yr old, I definitely heard some ticking noises!

Although obnoxious kids in public are still the best form of birthcontrol I've ever seen!

ETA: she did say newborn-ish babys. They don't really fuss much at that stage, in my experience.

 

[elepri]

Newborns have the opposite effect on me. My friend just had a baby a week ago. He''s tiny, he doesn''t really do anything other than sleep, eat and scream. My friend looks exhausted, it''s just really not much fun. However, I do think the older they get the more interesting they become. Seeing a cute 2-year-old makes me want to have one much more than seeing an infant.

 

[icekid]

In general, seeing babies/ playing with them doesn''t really make me want one.

While I was home at Christmas, my cousin''s wife had their third baby. I went with my mom to see her, and my mom was so gaga over the baby (as always- doesn''t matter who the kid belongs to). I liked to hold the baby for 10 minutes, and then give her to my mom

Babies are unfortunately 24/7... scary thing for me right now.

However, when I was studying at a coffee shop yesterday, I did see a mother w/ a ~3 yr old little Chinese girl, and I thought she was adorable! That age seems much more appealing than the helpless newborn stage. If we have kids, I am already leaning heavily toward adopting... and there seems to be no shortage of unwanted little girls in China these days.

 

[MINE!!]

Interesting.... Hmmm.. I definitely think there is something biological. My kids are 10 and 7 now... and when I see a baby, I think.. OMG they are so beautiful, they smell so good and they feel so soft. I thinkk about when my girls were babies and it makes my heart flutter. But then ... it''s over... that is it. So I am not sure about that. Maybe cause my kids are older.. I do not know.

I will say this though... when I got pregnant with my second one... something was SCREAMING inside me to have another baby. I wanted another baby, I needed another baby, I ached to have another baby... I have had ''touches'' of that since... but nothing as strong as it was for my second child.

I kinda worry about having another one now. Hubby wants one... but I am a little nervous knowing that I do not feel that longing. But I am sure as soon as we start thinking "VERY SERIOUSLY" about having another, I will get that urge and it will be fine. So I think there are a lot of factors in play, biology, age, and whether someone is biologically stimulated or wired for wanting and needing (needing is the big word here) children.

 

[moon river]

I think it depends on what the baby is actually doing when you''re around it. If it''s cute and cooing and smelling like baby lotion I think it could trigger your biological clock. Now if its eating peas, pooping or lying on the floor pitching a screaming fit then I''d have to say ''NO''.

If anyone ever gets the urge, please expose yourself to ''all things baby'' before going deciding. Heck, hang out with a teenager for an hour or two and see what these precious gifts ''grow into''.

 

[lilmaria]

Okay...we''ve had about 7 pregnancies at our school this past year.. though i''ve always wanted to be a mom, i''m not quite ready. however, I visited my friend in the hospital when she had her second baby and I couldn''t stop crying. i dont know why but i had tears streaming down my face and felt like it was really amazing, but i didnt think i wanted my own then b/c i''m not ready to give up being selfish. fast forward 6 months and two of my coworkers got pregnant, i didnt want to be left out so i told my bf that we should start...thankfully that idea quickly passed by and i came to my senses, but i think you have a point. it has to do with how close the preggers

are to you, your age and how your relationship is progressing. my parents dont have ANY biological grandchildren yet, though they consider my bf''s son their grandson, and I know they''re dying to have some babies around. My dad is SOOOOOOOOOO cute with my cousins'' kids and I''d like to make him a nonno but not till after we get married...lol.

i agree though, the clocks start ticking at the same time...