Do you like buying your own bling?

[Madam Bijoux]

I always have and always will buy & pay for my own. My name is on the receipt as the buyer and no other people can claim it as their property. That way, I'll never have to give it back if things don't work out.

 

[Natylad]

I always have and always will buy & pay for my own. My name is on the receipt as the buyer and no other people can claim it as their property. That way, I'll never have to give it back if things don't work out.

Madam Bijoux i really like your style...

 

[Natylad]

My dear Ringmaven, i like buying my own jewelry and if DH wants to buy me something as a gift, he gives me a budget and i do the choosing and spending!!!
Before we got engaged, i told him that i'd like a pink sapphire ring as an engagement ring and i didn't discuss this issue any further with him. He went and chose a very expensive ring from Birks in Toronto and paid the markup for it... I can't explain how disappointed i felt, when he opened the box and presented the ring to me... I didn't like the ring at all and the worst thing about it was that i knew that if i had chosen the ring, i would have gotten exactly what i wanted with less money...
So that incident became a precious lesson for me...

 

[ame]

I always have and always will buy & pay for my own. My name is on the receipt as the buyer and no other people can claim it as their property. That way, I'll never have to give it back if things don't work out.

Madam Bijoux i really like your style...

Excellent plan of action!

 

[Jambalaya]

I inherited some jewelry, but mostly I buy my own, and that's the way I like it. Since family and friends know I like jewelry, they do buy it for me, and I never like it. I feel bad saying that, but it's true.

Only "I" know what suits me best and what I really like. I love picking out my own jewelry, trying to get the best deal, etc.

 

[Calliecake]

I'm glad my husband knows me well enough to let me pick out my own jewelry. I don't pick out his golf clubs, he doesn't pick out my jewelry.

 

[anne_h]

I prefer to buy my own. Our finances are separate, and I don't want him to spend his spending money on me. I've worked hard to build a good career, so I can afford my own indulgences. Plus I'm so particular about jewelry, it's definitely better that I choose my own.

The exception is my e-ring. I did all the legwork and selecting, but he paid for that one.

Anne

 

[pregcurious]

I am particular about what I like. I sometimes think I would prefer that he listen to what I like and buy it, but then I realize he would overpay and that would pain me.

 

[iluvshinythings]

My ex (he's an ex for many good reasons) brought up how much he paid for my e-ring all the time. For that reason, and because I'm quite opinionated about what I like, (thanks PS),I buy my own. My husband is quite supportive about listening to me babble on and on about it and that's all the help from him I need.

He pays more attention than I thought though and told me he found an antique watch on LT for my birthday but couldn't reach an agreement regarding the price with the seller. Of course, I checked out the watch and wanted to cry because the watch was so perfect and such a good deal.... I was completely shocked he even knew there was such a thing as LT!!!

He did buy me a necklace and presented it to me during a very romantic dinner on the beach while we were on vacation. The necklace isn't a style I care for at all but it reminds me of that wonderful night on the beach and makes me smile so I wear it quite often. I can kind of picture that's how it would be if he would have bought my e-ring by himself but I'm glad it all worked out like it did.

 

[dcnl06]

My ex (he's an ex for many good reasons) brought up how much he paid for my e-ring all the time. For that reason, and because I'm quite opinionated about what I like, (thanks PS),I buy my own. My husband is quite supportive about listening to me babble on and on about it and that's all the help from him I need.

He pays more attention than I thought though and told me he found an antique watch on LT for my birthday but couldn't reach an agreement regarding the price with the seller. Of course, I checked out the watch and wanted to cry because the watch was so perfect and such a good deal.... I was completely shocked he even knew there was such a thing as LT!!!

He did buy me a necklace and presented it to me during a very romantic dinner on the beach while we were on vacation. The necklace isn't a style I care for at all but it reminds me of that wonderful night on the beach and makes me smile so I wear it quite often. I can kind of picture that's how it would be if he would have bought my e-ring by himself but I'm glad it all worked out like it did.

I had an ex this way, too. His mother had once told him when he was younger, to NEVER buy a woman jewelry (I'm assuming because he was young and she figured relationships don't last normally when you are in high school and early twenties, so why "waste" money )
But anyway....that stuck with him. He never bought me jewelry ever, in 5 years of dating. Not a pair of earrings, nothing.

I have learned throughout the years, it's better to have things YOU own.

 

[Christina...]

Most of my pieces have been mutually agreed upon and purchased together. However he has surprised me with diamond earrings and some lesser priced purchases, all which of course delighted me! I'm fortunate that DH appreciate jewelry (unlike many other men) and loves to see the happiness that it brings me. He's also smart enough to realize that there are nuances to each piece that are important to me and he doesn't pretend to know or understand what they are. So, for larger and more important jewelry, we tend to purchase together. That being said, I cant imagine ever being disappointed by a gift he selflessly acquired for me all by himself.

 

[Jambalaya]

Despite what I said above about liking to get my own pieces, in an ideal world I'd like to be in a relationship where the man bought me jewelry, sure. I know some men buy a lot of jewelry for their wives, which has been a mystery to me because I've never been with a man like that! That just isn't my life, and I'm OK with that. But I've had the money to buy my own jewelry and it does mean that I've gotten exactly what I want. Because I enjoy the chase, I've also gotten some amazing deals. I don't think a man would have had the interest or the patience to do that.

I think I'm at the stage where I have everything I want, anyway. I know that's a shocking thing for someone on PS to say. I bought these yesterday and they'll arrive tomorrow. http://www.bluenile.com/amethyst-blue-topaz-earring-14k-white-gold_49856
I've been eyeing them for a few months and there was a discount to get $100 off.

Now all I want is a Kiki McDonough Grace heart necklace in green amethyst and yellow gold, which will have to be a custom order, and I think I'm set. With the taxes taken off, it will be about $1k, and I'm hoping to get that at the end of this year. It's this necklace in a heart shape: http://kiki.co.uk/index.php/collections/grace/grace-green-amethyst-pendant.html/

Heart: http://kiki.co.uk/index.php/collections/grace/grace-blue-topaz-heart-pendant.html/

Sometimes I do feel sad that practically all my jewelry is from my family of origin, or bought by myself, and that I don't have any really significant jewelry from an SO. But I haven't held back in getting the jewelry that I want, and although buying my own things feels a bit soulless in a way, I have built a collection that's very me, so I guess that's the trade-off. I've also bought second-hand, deep discount, in sales, tax-free locations, etc and I feel quite proud about some of the deals I've got. I've been so into buying my own stuff that I think I'd be really surprised if a man bought me things now - I'd probably feel as if he was muscling in on some very personal territory! I do love to choose my own things - after all, I'm the one who wears them!

I've bought quite a few things in the last few months, including an absolute ton of pearls, and I've been very lazy about showing them here!

 

[Victoria10]

Hey jambalaya I think that is awesome. You do have a good eye for jewelry and deals. Please post some of your new finds and maybe collection of your earrings. I definitely have the citrine earring drops on my wish list thanks to you and showing me that one website.

Oh almost forgot how does the smaller diamond hoops with gemstone charms work in size reference. What size hoops did you end up with? I don't think I ever got that when I was adding to my notes page on computer and I am really interested in the versatility of them

 

[motacilla]

I buy my own, with my own money. Because half the time even I don't know what I want! Until I see it! At a good price.
And I also like the hunt, that's at least half the fun.
He does buy me and our daughter clothes sometimes, and is excellent at it.
Fortunately he has accepted my jewellery choices, so far

 

[KristyDarling]

I agree with most of the other posters that there is no one who could choose my jewelry for me, and certainly not my husband! He gave me one small jewelry gift before we were married and I taught him soon after that that I was very particular and it would be better for both of us for me to be involved in picking out my jewelry gifts! That made me happy and him happy! I get what I want, which he likes, and also he doesn't have to shop and then me exchange what he buys! Win-win!!!

As others have said, this is my hobby and he has his hobbies. I would never in a million years buy him a car as a surprise, so it works both ways!

This is my husband and I, word for word. (my DH is a car guy, too!) He bought me a small jewelry gift just ONCE, 18 years ago while we were in our 20s and dating. It was a pair of earrings that would look amazing on a 70-year-old but definitely not on a (at the time) young woman. He was happy to be relieved of that expectation and ever since, I just propose what I want and he either agrees or not. Works well for us! Plus, we're not the "surprise each other" type of romantic couple anyway.

 

[swingirl]

I also pick out my own jewelry and he picks out his own toys. I have bought several pieces that didn't thrill me the way I thought they would. It would be near impossible to sell off those "misses" if he had picked them out and presented them to me with meaning. I feel fine selling my own mistakes and trying again. I also like to buy pre-owned, ebay finds, going-out-of-business sales, etc which he would never bother with.

I am happy with the arrangement although I wouldn't mind if he showed up one day with an Elizabeth Taylor hand-me-down!!

 

[Jambalaya]

Hey jambalaya I think that is awesome. You do have a good eye for jewelry and deals. Please post some of your new finds and maybe collection of your earrings. I definitely have the citrine earring drops on my wish list thanks to you and showing me that one website.

Oh almost forgot how does the smaller diamond hoops with gemstone charms work in size reference. What size hoops did you end up with? I don't think I ever got that when I was adding to my notes page on computer and I am really interested in the versatility of them

Thanks Victoria! When you say my earring collection, do you mean the square detachable drops? And when you say you have the citrine drops on your wishlist, do you mean the citrine square ones from Heavenly Necklaces for about fifty pounds, or the pear-shaped citrine drops from Kiki McDonough, via Berry's, for about 400 pounds?

I've been sick with three bugs one after the other for the last month, so I'm totally behind on everything. I got some very delicate hoops from A. Link and I think they look perfect with the square detachable drops. Promise I'll put them in Show Me The Bling in the next few days! I have the green amethyst drops from Heavenly Necklaces, and the citrine ones, and the blue topaz. At the end of May, they will have some more colors!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Or do you wish your dear spouse would buy it for you?

Yes, but wife didn't get the hint...

 

[_lovesvintage_]

Yes, I do...only because I am very particular and love the thrill of the hunt for awesome finds. Most of my collection is preloved and family gifts. Only recently have I been able to get some custom pieces made. There are times when I want my husband to get me a piece of jewelry, so if I find something within his budget, I tell him about it. For my original engagement ring, which I still have and wear, I scoured eBay and came up with three options within his budget. He got me the one I really wanted for under $500.

 

[_lovesvintage_]

Oh, I forgot to add that if he is able to, he will contribute to my bling fund when I have a project going. Love my hubby!!!

 

[ringmaven]

Thanks for all of the wonderful thoughts and viewpoints! You guys have really helped me change my perspective for the better

 

[Victoria10]

Hey jambalaya I think that is awesome. You do have a good eye for jewelry and deals. Please post some of your new finds and maybe collection of your earrings. I definitely have the citrine earring drops on my wish list thanks to you and showing me that one website.

Oh almost forgot how does the smaller diamond hoops with gemstone charms work in size reference. What size hoops did you end up with? I don't think I ever got that when I was adding to my notes page on computer and I am really interested in the versatility of them

Thanks Victoria! When you say my earring collection, do you mean the square detachable drops? And when you say you have the citrine drops on your wishlist, do you mean the citrine square ones from Heavenly Necklaces for about fifty pounds, or the pear-shaped citrine drops from Kiki McDonough, via Berry's, for about 400 pounds?

I've been sick with three bugs one after the other for the last month, so I'm totally behind on everything. I got some very delicate hoops from A. Link and I think they look perfect with the square detachable drops. Promise I'll put them in Show Me The Bling in the next few days! I have the green amethyst drops from Heavenly Necklaces, and the citrine ones, and the blue topaz. At the end of May, they will have some more colors!

Yes Jambalaya, I have the kiki McDonough citrine pear-shaped drops via berry's website on my list. like you said with exchange discount and being a designer for royalty actually very good price for very well made earrings. I understand about being under the weather it is bad time with change of seasons now. yeah i was wanting more info on the hoops (diameter and thickness) so I know if the gemstone drops from heavenly necklaces will fit ok. That is really good news about more colors and I hope you feel better soon too!

 

[lambskin]

I pick all jewelry. I do play a game with him. In my fashion mags (i.e. Town and Country) if there is an ad or article showing an array of jewelry (typically diamond and colored stone rings) I'll ask him, "Which one would I like the best?". After 26 years of marriage he is about 90% correct. He knows I do not like halo settings and prefer three stone settings.

 

[DecoDaze]

When we were first dating and married, my DH felt that jewelry was a waste of money. (Even so, he still bought me the occasional piece because he knew I liked it.) He was worth it in other ways, though. We've been married for 16 years now, and his understanding of my love of bling has evolved from disapproving, to tolerating, to supporting. Now when I have a birthday or other occasion, he says "why don't you get something sparkly to celebrate?" He has realized that it doesn't matter whether he thinks the jewels have value; what matters is that I derive a lot of pleasure from them, and he's observed that firsthand.

And I love getting stuff for myself now--as many others here have said, it's a hobby. I get a lot of enjoyment out of choosing what I want, and learning a lot in the process. We have shared finances (married young, when neither of us had anything), but I'm in charge of the money, so he doesn't even set a budget. I do discuss big purchases with him, but his reaction is usually something along the lines of: I trust you, get what you want, you don't need to discuss a budget with me. I do, however, set a budget for his toys--after all, I'm in charge!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

When we were first dating and married, my DH felt that jewelry was a waste of money. (Even so, he still bought me the occasional piece because he knew I liked it.) He was worth it in other ways, though. We've been married for 16 years now, and his understanding of my love of bling has evolved from disapproving, to tolerating, to supporting. Now when I have a birthday or other occasion, he says "why don't you get something sparkly to celebrate?" He has realized that it doesn't matter whether he thinks the jewels have value; what matters is that I derive a lot of pleasure from them, and he's observed that firsthand.

And I love getting stuff for myself now--as many others here have said, it's a hobby. I get a lot of enjoyment out of choosing what I want, and learning a lot in the process. We have shared finances (married young, when neither of us had anything), but I'm in charge of the money, so he doesn't even set a budget. I do discuss big purchases with him, but his reaction is usually something along the lines of: I trust you, get what you want, you don't need to discuss a budget with me. I do, however, set a budget for his toys--after all, I'm in charge!

I hate to admit this, but your last paragraph I could have written!

 

[Huldak]

When we were first dating and married, my DH felt that jewelry was a waste of money. (Even so, he still bought me the occasional piece because he knew I liked it.) He was worth it in other ways, though. We've been married for 16 years now, and his understanding of my love of bling has evolved from disapproving, to tolerating, to supporting.

This is my dream. I've been married 1 year. Thank you for confirming it's possible!

To answer the original question ~ yes, but I like it better when I pick it and he buys it.

 

[DecoDaze]

When we were first dating and married, my DH felt that jewelry was a waste of money. (Even so, he still bought me the occasional piece because he knew I liked it.) He was worth it in other ways, though. We've been married for 16 years now, and his understanding of my love of bling has evolved from disapproving, to tolerating, to supporting. Now when I have a birthday or other occasion, he says "why don't you get something sparkly to celebrate?" He has realized that it doesn't matter whether he thinks the jewels have value; what matters is that I derive a lot of pleasure from them, and he's observed that firsthand.

And I love getting stuff for myself now--as many others here have said, it's a hobby. I get a lot of enjoyment out of choosing what I want, and learning a lot in the process. We have shared finances (married young, when neither of us had anything), but I'm in charge of the money, so he doesn't even set a budget. I do discuss big purchases with him, but his reaction is usually something along the lines of: I trust you, get what you want, you don't need to discuss a budget with me. I do, however, set a budget for his toys--after all, I'm in charge!

I hate to admit this, but your last paragraph I could have written!

Glad I'm not the only one! Though I admit, I don't mind having that power--and of course it's based on lot of mutual trust. DH tells our two boys that Mama is the boss!

 

[DecoDaze]

When we were first dating and married, my DH felt that jewelry was a waste of money. (Even so, he still bought me the occasional piece because he knew I liked it.) He was worth it in other ways, though. We've been married for 16 years now, and his understanding of my love of bling has evolved from disapproving, to tolerating, to supporting.

This is my dream. I've been married 1 year. Thank you for confirming it's possible!

To answer the original question ~ yes, but I like it better when I pick it and he buys it.

There's always hope, Huldak!

 

[GliderPoss]

I'm glad my husband knows me well enough to let me pick out my own jewelry. I don't pick out his golf clubs, he doesn't pick out my jewelry.

THIS EXACTLY! I wouldn't dream of buying a new golf club for him (even though I also play) as I know he is very particular about the statistics and he knows I am equally picky about my jewellery so never buys me anything although sometimes I wish he would, it would be more romantic! I send him emails with link to specific items with obvious hints like "Birthday List" and yet they never appear...

 

[pandabee]

While I wish that DH would be more indulgent of my bling love (aka obsession), I prefer to buy my own. I like the hunt, doing the research, and finding unique items or deals. That's not his thing and I recognize that. One year he bought me a lovely infinity necklace for valentine's day but when I asked him about details he didn't know much about it and the chain on it ended up breaking several times much to my dismay. I can't bear to throw it away though because it was the first and only piece of jewelry he's bought for me without my prompting! At the end of the day though, I do like to buy my own since I know the quality that I am getting.