Do you judge people's character based on what they post?

[the_mother_thing]

A statement was made in another thread: "I have to admit that I really love threads like these - they are so good at revealing a person's general character." Note: I'm not quoting the person by name because I do not want it to be misconstrued as picking; that's not my intention. The statement genuinely has me curious if others judge people (say, to the point that if you met them in person you wouldn't shake their hand, have a drink with them at a bar, or would perhaps avoid them altogether) based solely on what they post on a forum about their opinions on things. And there have been a lot of other "would you do this" type threads lately, so ...

I'll go first by sharing my ver batim response: "I personally choose not to judge someone's "general character" based on a couple of their opinions posted on a forum; that to me would be like judging a diamond as a 'good buy' sight unseen and based solely on it having a GIA report. You don't really know how brilliant it is or how big a dud it is ... until you really get to know it.

There are a LOT of people on here and in my personal circle whose opinions (be them political, social, religious, whatever) I disagree with, but I certainly wouldn't and don't pass character judgment on them for it. And I don't like them any less because we differ. Some of them are very admirable in their passion for things."

 

[blingbunny10]

I wouldn't go so far as to say I judge the poster's character, but I admit I probably do make assumptions based on what people post and how they post. It's human nature. I think I mostly tend to associate certain posters with "real" people I know, e.g., Someone will post an attitude or topic that reminds me of a friend or coworker, so I link that poster with that friend/coworker. And stronger personalities inevitably draw more attention and comparison.... Both kenny and DF remind me of people I know in real life!

I'll also note that board persona isn't necessarily an accurate reflection of the "real" person. People in real life would be very surprised to see me using exclamation points and emoticons here.

 

[telephone89]

TBH I barely notice who posts what, and forget once I leave the thread in most cases. So I will respond to the posts in the thread, but it doesn't reflect badly on that person in other threads.

That doesn't really answer the question, but even if I disliked someone's character in a thread, I wouldn't dislike their character outright, and judge them in all threads/posts.

 

[katharath]

Yes, that was me. (I think it's silly not to acknowledge my own words). And just to be crystal clear here, there was no inference of "judging" anyone in my post - I just stated that I find controversial threads to be interesting, in that I feel they are revealing of character. I did not say anything about judging that character, and I can't be responsible for what people read into my words.

With that said - enjoy your new thread, I'm happy to have inspired it

 

[ame]

I wouldn't make a character judgement per se, because you can't really know someone without meeting them, watching their mannerisms, etc, but it definitely paints either a favorable or unfavorable picture of whether or not I'd take them seriously in terms of the rest of their posts, and how well I think we'd get along if we did meet in person.

ETA: I will say some posts are forgettable, some threads as well. But if someone posts something so outrageously offensive, I will not forget that, or them, and that WILL be something I judge them by.

 

[momhappy]

No, not really, unless as posted above, someone is over-the-top with their posts

 

[the_mother_thing]

Yes, that was me. (I think it's silly not to acknowledge my own words). And just to be crystal clear here, there was no inference of "judging" anyone in my post - I just stated that I find controversial threads to be interesting, in that I feel they are revealing of character. I did not say anything about judging that character, and I can't be responsible for what people read into my words.

With that said - enjoy your new thread, I'm happy to have inspired it

I wasn't trying to be silly by not quoting you; rather, I was actually trying to be sensitive (since I don't know you personally) and I did not want it to be perceived in a way I didn't intend (e.g. as picking or something). But since you spoke up, I'll post here what I responded with so as not to muck up the other thread/topic.

I'm not saying your initial comment was directed at me, but I have thick skin and confidence in my moral compass, so for the sake of argument (and sparing someone else's feelings), let's assume you mean me.

To say one is "revealing their general character" with what they post insinuates that the viewer/s of that 'reveal' may make an assumption or judgment about the person.

I'm not really sure how else that would be interpreted, or what someone could otherwise mean with that statement. Perhaps you can clarify what you meant, if that was not the case.

Please clarify your statement to correct my understanding. Thanks!

 

[packrat]

I just flat out don't give a shit.

I don't even agree w/my husband on 100% of the things we discuss. Says nothing about his or my character. ETA upon further reflection, I take that back, and I think it does say something about his and my character--that we don't agree 100% and don't find feel the need to infer assumptions on one another's character or of someone else's.

There will be threads that someone posts something and I agree w/it, sometimes I'll quote it..there's been a time or two I've offered some sugar and then maybe in another thread I don't agree w/that same poster..that doesn't mean anything to me. I don't infer anything about the person's character through any interactions I may have on here. I don't see how someone having an opinion on something, that may not align w/what *I* think, can be considered a possible character flaw in someone else or be construed by others as lacking in character...less'n I think myself to be descended from the heavens and everyone else subject to my observations and definitions of their character.

 

[the_mother_thing]

When I lived in a different region of the country, there was a local website (light news, classifieds, business ads, and a forum). I was just getting familiar with the area, and found the site helpful, especially the forum for getting feedback about things, service providers, etc. Anyway, there were also misc conversations/threads on there, some random thoughts, some political, sports, religion, etc. There were a few of us who were quite 'vocal' about our positions on things, though always in a respectful manner. And a few of us were such complete opposites in background, beliefs, politics, etc. that we were like north & south poles. Fast forward a couple months, someone thought it'd be a great idea to host a 'meet & greet' for all of the 'forumites'. I went, and it was so great putting a face with the 'avatar' (kind of how I image PS GTGs are - the people behind the bling).

I moved away from that area 11 years ago. To this day, especially those people whose opinions I then couldn't even fathom being legitimate they seemed so 'out there', we are still quite close, periodically visit, talk, etc.

That experience largely influenced me to acknowledge that there really is so much more to the person behind the (other) computer monitor beyond that which they show you ... and in most cases, what they don't show you is far and away better than that which they do reveal.

 

[monarch64]

Nope. I judge character based on what shape of diamond their center stone is.

 

[packrat]

Nope. I judge character based on what shape of diamond their center stone is.

THAT is the right answer.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

No. Postings on a message board never present a total picture of anyone's character.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Nope. I judge character based on what shape of diamond their center stone is.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I wouldn't go so far as to say I judge the poster's character, but I admit I probably do make assumptions based on what people post and how they post. It's human nature. I think I mostly tend to associate certain posters with "real" people I know, e.g., Someone will post an attitude or topic that reminds me of a friend or coworker, so I link that poster with that friend/coworker. And stronger personalities inevitably draw more attention and comparison.... Both kenny and DF remind me of people I know in real life!

I'll also note that board persona isn't necessarily an accurate reflection of the "real" person. People in real life would be very surprised to see me using exclamation points and emoticons here.

what does that mean?...

 

[blingbunny10]

I wouldn't go so far as to say I judge the poster's character, but I admit I probably do make assumptions based on what people post and how they post. It's human nature. I think I mostly tend to associate certain posters with "real" people I know, e.g., Someone will post an attitude or topic that reminds me of a friend or coworker, so I link that poster with that friend/coworker. And stronger personalities inevitably draw more attention and comparison.... Both kenny and DF remind me of people I know in real life!

I'll also note that board persona isn't necessarily an accurate reflection of the "real" person. People in real life would be very surprised to see me using exclamation points and emoticons here.

what does that mean?...

It's nothing bad, DF, really....

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I admit that I have. I am trained to do so. I do not analyze every poster...only the ones with strong characteristics.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Yeah. It's normal to judge. Part of me knows I should rise above it, but I'm human and if you consistently post things that make me go hmmmmm it becomes an overall impression of who they are as a person. And really the words written are all I have to go by!

 

[Niel]

Of course I do.

I don't judge all of you. I judge the character YOU present to me on this website.

You are what you present to the world.

I don't pretend to know you (the general you), but I can only form an opinion (a judgement) on a person from what I'm shown.

 

[anne_h]

Sure. And I think that's probably normal. At least for me.

Although I don't keep a mental catalog of everything I notice. I tend to only remember associations for people who post a lot, or who I find unique or extreme.

Anne

 

[Queenie60]

I have a perception of what they may be like however I would probably be quite surprised to know them in "real life".

 

[kenny]

Oh puhleeeeeeezzzz!
Everyone judges everyone.

 

[Sphene]

Judge judge and judge a bit more but only the specs of the diamond - Since I have been on this site I have noticed as time goes by I only seem to be looking at threads of large size diamonds and dismiss the smaller ones am I am becoming a sizeist

 

[momhappy]

I agree - everyone judges, but this thread asked a more specific question - do you judge someone's character based on what they post? One can judge, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the judging translates into an impression of someone's character. I admit to judging, just like everyone else, but that doesn't mean that I think anything of their character because I'd have to know them in person to judge character. If someone posted that they were a Sanders supporter, for example, I might judge that statement, but that doesn't mean that I think that it reveals their true character....

 

[blingbunny10]

Judge judge and judge a bit more but only the specs of the diamond - Since I have been on this site I have noticed as time goes by I only seem to be looking at threads of large size diamonds and dismiss the smaller ones am I am becoming a sizeist

A sizeist, ha I like that!

 

[MarionC]

Nope. I judge character based on what shape of diamond their center stone is.

LOL

 

[monarch64]

Judge judge and judge a bit more but only the specs of the diamond - Since I have been on this site I have noticed as time goes by I only seem to be looking at threads of large size diamonds and dismiss the smaller ones am I am becoming a sizeist

A sizeist, ha I like that!

Good, I am safe! Also what if you didn't have anything to do with your stone? Are you still judge-able?

 

[dragonfly411]

I love Packrat's answer HAH!

I try not to judge. I do absorb things that I feel I should so that I can make sure to avoid conflict.

 

[yssie]

Yes, I judge. Of course I judge... everyone judges! Isn't there a children's book about this?

We "judge" people by our interactions with them, and on an anonymous online forum the only interactions available to judge by are what we post! There are several PSers I would love to meet, having "judged" them by their posts. And there are a few I have no desire whatsoever to meet - again, "judging" by how they choose to portray themselves via the only communication medium available.

I feel lucky to have met many PSers in-person and IMO for the most part we all seem to be pretty much exactly who we are online, which is very reassuring! Well, perhaps with a few notable exceptions, but most always for the better!

 

[rainwood]

Ame, Tacori, Elliott, Niel, and Yssie summed it up best for me. At least that's my judgment!

 

[the_mother_thing]

To those who said they would judge, and I thank you for your honesty, part of my question was " if others judge people (say, to the point that if you met them in person you wouldn't shake their hand, have a drink with them at a bar, or would perhaps avoid them altogether) based solely on what they post on a forum about their opinions on things."

So, would your judgment of someone's posts prevent you from doing those things, or is it more passive like, "damn, that (insert poster name) is EXTREEEEME ..." and then you, for instance, go back to assessing your diamond's performance in varying light settings?