i''m not feeling very bride-ey? I am not looking forward to looking for a dress
I don''t know how we will pay for a wedding--- even a very small one
I am a photographer and a photograper''s assistant-- and i have been to soo many beautifull-- magazene perfect looking- weddings and its nice and all.. but I can''t see spending all that money for one day. My Fi wants a big wedding thing
-- but i don''t -- i''d much rather it be just my Fi and I somewhere alone and exchanging vows etc.. But I know there are a bunch of people in my family that wouldn''t like that.--i''m the only girl in my fam.
I HATE being in front of a camera And the center or attention.... I don''t want to dance
ESP in front of everyone. I''m just not looking forward to all these things.
We have been going to wedding shows now and then for a year... and I eather get this overwhelming feeling of --I HATE ALL THIS! --the annoying Dj''s... The medicore food..the dresses... the planning...yuck..... I keep apoligizing to my Fi--- I keep saying i''m sorry but i don''t think I have the Bride Gene!
Sigh.... There are some things I like... I have been looking at bride magizenes..and I found some pretty dresses.. But i''m worried That they will look realy bad on me or worse yet--they will be very nice on.. but way tooo $$$$ for me
I don''t want to invite some people in our families to our wedding (or whatever we end up doing)....But Have too
Don''t get me wrong though---I LOVE my FI!! We have been together for 10 years! And I can''t wait to marry him! He is my best friend! we met in college when i was 19 and He was 20. We love being together. And I Love My Ring--He worked so hard to get for me (was kinda really important to me because of everything it symbolizes...-my dad never gave my mom and e-ring; -My Fi cared enough to make payments on it for over a year; -it also has grandmother''s(she meant so much to me) diamond in it.)
--->Thats another hard thing-- Bec I allways thought my Grandmother would be at my wedding
She passed away 7plus years ago)
Sigh..... maybe i''m just getting overwhelmed.
does anyone ever feel like this?
SOOOO sorry to ramble--- I think I needed to get some stuff out.
Thanks