Do you ever get comments from people re: jewelry?

[DivaDiamond007]

This has been coming up more and more lately with me it seems - but do you ever get comments about your jewlery from people that don''t like jewelry?

For example, a few days ago I was watching tv with my MIL and a woman on the show was "crying poor" but had her hair all dyed, etc. MIL commented on it and then I commented that the woman on the show also had fakey nails. MIL gave me the stink-eye and said something along the lines of "well at least she probably isn''t always upgrading her jewelry"

I did "upgrade" my wedding rings earlier this year, and I acknowledged that to MIL, but also pointed out to her that we paid cash for the diamond, setting and new wedding band. The conversation ended there - no hard feelings on either end.

How do you/would you deal with this? Other people in DH''s family have made not so nice comments to my face about my love for jewelry and I don''t know how to respond. I don''t really care what they think about it; the people making the comments aren''t into jewelry/diamonds so I don''t expect them to understand; but on the other hand I don''t run around saying that their hobbies that I''m not interested in are a waste of money.

 

[sctsbride09]

Honestly, I think thats kind of catty coming from your MIL, but thats me. I guess if mine said something like that, Id probably say that our finances are absolutely none of her business. And as for others in the family that make not so nice comments, Id chalk it up to jealousy. I mean thats why people talk trash, no? Enjoy your jewelry, life is too short to worry about what other people are thinking. Next time one of them chooses to make a nasty comment I would stare at the guilty culprit with a dumbfounded look and just walk away. I mean are they expecting you to defend your jewelry or something? Jeez.

 

[Haven]

Just kill them with kindness.

Nasty comments come from a nasty place. I think the best response is a big, gracious smile and something benign like "Oh, my little upgrade? I feel so blessed to be able to wear something so beautiful."

The moment you say something cutting back you lose all poise in the situation, IMO.

ETA: You asked if we ever get comments like this. I don't, no. People have made passive aggressive comments before along the lines of calling my set flashy, but I pay them no mind. So not worth it.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I would just give ''em a great big smile and say "To each his own". Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

I second! Enjoy your beautiful diamonds and don''t bat an eye on any of the negative comments. Life''s too short! Do what makes you happy!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 10/19/2009 1:17:27 PM
Author: Luckyeshe

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

I second! Enjoy your beautiful diamonds and don''t bat an eye on any of the negative comments. Life''s too short! Do what makes you happy!

Ditto!!

 

[kenny]

Jealousy.
Forgive them.
You aren't doing anything wrong.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

then say....don''t you wish you own these beautiful jewelry?

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh MB!

The commentor usually gets a blank stare from me because I just don''t know what to say. I agree with SCTSBRIDE that our finances are nobody''s business but our own so I''m really not worried about it; just curious how to handle it without making a mountain out of a mole hill.

The most recent comment from MIL was especially funny to me because her daughter, my SIL, is an attorney who is not practicing and is working in retail. That''s fine by me - but she complains about $$ all the time yet is always wearing new clothes, has her hair done and has fake nails to boot! SIL and her DH recently went to Vegas for vacation too

How ironic.

I do feel so blessed to have my upgrade; it''s petite compared to some of the honkers I see on here but means so much to me since DH and I put a lot of thought into it and got exactly what I wanted.

 

[somethingshiny]

Ditto on Bijoux post.

Some people think upgrading your wedding set is somehow a negative thing. I''d also add something along the lines of, "well, I didn''t marry a diamond, I married a man. That man wanted me to have a bigger diamond! I''m so lucky!"

My MIL and my mom had a weird reaction to my upgrade, but I pretty much told them both it was none of their business and let it go.

Why do people think it''s fine to upgrade your car/house/etc but not diamonds?? I''ve never understood that.

 

[brightlight]

Date: 10/19/2009 12:20:24 PM
Author:DivaDiamond007
This has been coming up more and more lately with me it seems - but do you ever get comments about your jewlery from people that don''t like jewelry?

For example, a few days ago I was watching tv with my MIL and a woman on the show was ''crying poor'' but had her hair all dyed, etc. MIL commented on it and then I commented that the woman on the show also had fakey nails. MIL gave me the stink-eye and said something along the lines of ''well at least she probably isn''t always upgrading her jewelry''

I did ''upgrade'' my wedding rings earlier this year, and I acknowledged that to MIL, but also pointed out to her that we paid cash for the diamond, setting and new wedding band. The conversation ended there - no hard feelings on either end.

How do you/would you deal with this? Other people in DH''s family have made not so nice comments to my face about my love for jewelry and I don''t know how to respond. I don''t really care what they think about it; the people making the comments aren''t into jewelry/diamonds so I don''t expect them to understand; but on the other hand I don''t run around saying that their hobbies that I''m not interested in are a waste of money.

I really disagree wiith people passing judgment on how others spend their money. It''s no one''s business how you spend your money. On the other hand, I can see how some people would feel it''s inappropriate to spend money on jewelry in this economy or resent the fact that you have the money to buy jewelry in this economy. I''m wondering if they would say the same things to you if you bought a brand new Mercedes.

Regarding how to respond to people, I would just say that you and your husband are financially responsible and choose to buy jewelry, b/c that''s your hobby. Some people''s hobbies are X, Y, and Z. You guys don''t spend money on those things. Instead, you buy jewelry. Although, you don''t owe them an explanation. To be completely honest, my husband would respond in the manner described above. I would just say, "You''re really rude," give them the stank eye (which is the stink eye taken to a whole other level), and walk away.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

The commentor usually gets a blank stare from me because I just don''t know what to say. I agree with SCTSBRIDE that our finances are nobody''s business but our own so I''m really not worried about it; just curious how to handle it without making a mountain out of a mole hill.

The most recent comment from MIL was especially funny to me because her daughter, my SIL, is an attorney who is not practicing and is working in retail. That''s fine by me - but she complains about $$ all the time yet is always wearing new clothes, has her hair done and has fake nails to boot! SIL and her DH recently went to Vegas for vacation too

How ironic.

I do feel so blessed to have my upgrade; it''s petite compared to some of the honkers I see on here but means so much to me since DH and I put a lot of thought into it and got exactly what I wanted.

Maybe she gets all her clothes at a tremendous discount?

Nobody ever says anything negative about my jewelry, but I''ve been given dirty looks on a few occasions. After I had my mom''s eng. diamond mounted into a pendant, one family member on my DH''s side (a family member who was around age 20 at the time) rolled her eyes after she saw it. I was especially annoyed because it wasn''t as if I was being materialistic and spending loads on a pendant. It was an heirloom past down. She was clueless yet made judgement.

 

[kenny]

Date: 10/19/2009 2:10:54 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Why do people think it's fine to upgrade your car/house/etc but not diamonds?? I've never understood that.

I understand it.
The original rings are . . . well . . . the original rings.
He didn't propose with the new upgrade.
He proposed with the diamond that was replaced.

Now just because I understand it does not mean I I have to live it by feeling that I can't upgrade my own rings.
Even if I agreed with it, and won't upgrade my own rings, doesn't mean I should expect others to agree with it.

If you think you should keep the original rings forever, fine, keep yours forever.
But please respect that other people are not you and can make up their own minds on this.

I do not understand when people feel their opinion applies to others.
It is arrogant.
I especially do not understand how people show more respect to strangers than to family when it comes to these kinds of things.

The perspective that there is only ONE right way that everyone should follow is dangerous.

 

[somethingshiny]

Preach it, Brother Kenny! Hallelujah!

 

[brightlight]

Date: 10/19/2009 2:05:35 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh MB!

The commentor usually gets a blank stare from me because I just don''t know what to say. I agree with SCTSBRIDE that our finances are nobody''s business but our own so I''m really not worried about it; just curious how to handle it without making a mountain out of a mole hill.

The most recent comment from MIL was especially funny to me because her daughter, my SIL, is an attorney who is not practicing and is working in retail. That''s fine by me - but she complains about $$ all the time yet is always wearing new clothes, has her hair done and has fake nails to boot! SIL and her DH recently went to Vegas for vacation too

How ironic.

I do feel so blessed to have my upgrade; it''s petite compared to some of the honkers I see on here but means so much to me since DH and I put a lot of thought into it and got exactly what I wanted.

Hmmmmmmmm ... Please don''t take this the wrong way. I don''t completely know your situation, and I''m sure you''re financially responsible. I realize your situation and your SIL''s situation aren''t the same, but can you see how, in a sense, you''re doing the same thing as your in-laws? You''re passing judgment on the way your SIL spends her money. Also, if your SIL involuntarily had to leave law and is hurting financially, maybe your MIL is sensitive about money. How does she feel about the way your SIL spends her money?

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I''ve received some off-color comments from extended family, insinuating I pressured FI into getting me the e-ring I have... Other than that, no. Then again, I don''t really have much jewelry... yet

Some people will *never* understand why others spend money on jewelry, especially upgrades. It''s easy to become defensive or justify your purchases to others, but you shouldn''t have to. I wouldn''t ever buy a luxury car, even if I had bottomless pockets. It''s just not my thing. I would rather take that money and buy a honkin'' diamond or other gem. Others are the exact opposite. Save and spend on items that bring you joy. If that means fake nails, or hair extensions, cars, houses, toys for your kids... WHATEVER!

As Haven said, kill ''em with kindness. Don''t let it get to you. I''m glad there weren''t any hard feelings between you and your MIL!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 10/19/2009 2:28:54 PM
Author: brightlight

Date: 10/19/2009 2:05:35 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh MB!

The commentor usually gets a blank stare from me because I just don''t know what to say. I agree with SCTSBRIDE that our finances are nobody''s business but our own so I''m really not worried about it; just curious how to handle it without making a mountain out of a mole hill.

The most recent comment from MIL was especially funny to me because her daughter, my SIL, is an attorney who is not practicing and is working in retail. That''s fine by me - but she complains about $$ all the time yet is always wearing new clothes, has her hair done and has fake nails to boot! SIL and her DH recently went to Vegas for vacation too

How ironic.

I do feel so blessed to have my upgrade; it''s petite compared to some of the honkers I see on here but means so much to me since DH and I put a lot of thought into it and got exactly what I wanted.

Hmmmmmmmm ... Please don''t take this the wrong way. I don''t completely know your situation, and I''m sure you''re financially responsible. I realize your situation and your SIL''s situation aren''t the same, but can you see how, in a sense, you''re doing the same thing as your in-laws? You''re passing judgment on the way your SIL spends her money. Also, if your SIL involuntarily had to leave law and is hurting financially, maybe your MIL is sensitive about money. How does she feel about the way your SIL spends her money?

I''m not taking it the wrong way at all! I''ve grown closer to my SIL over the years and she''s hit a rough patch with her finances. I''ve had a few heart-to-hearts with her to help her through this time in her life and I know she''s grateful for that. I just think it''s ironic how I get the stink-eye and SIL doesn''t

I guess that''s the difference between being a daughter and a daughter-in-law.

 

[that_someone_special]

Honestly, it happens to me too. Many times my FRIENDS bring up my love for pearls and diamonds, or as they like to call it- "BIG ROCKS-CARBON-i-cant-tell-the-difference-between-a-fake-and-yours"

It upsets me because this is something I''m into. When a friend asked what I was doing this last weekend and I told her "stringing my new pearls" and she got this snotty tone of "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" I was just ....

Why not?? because I like it??

Basically what I''m getting at, is I don''t understand why people, or friends for that matter can''t just accept us the way we are- diamond/ jewelry loving freaks. SO WHAT if I love diamonds and all things sparkly and pretty? Why is that something I get judged on??

You''re not alone. Just know that.

 

[Steel]

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

Haha, wouldn''t it be great if somebody invented a teensy portable ultrasonic - just for such an occassion. You could whip it out and give the rings a quick spruce up! I bet that would get one hell of a reaction!

....hardy har har

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Heh, the only person who makes snarky comments about my jewelry is my husband

He doesn''t get it, and so he pokes fun of me a little since I''m a proud, low maintenance tom-boy in most respects, but jewelery is my one stereotypically girly hobby. He never suggests I drop the hobby though.

I think he''s also just a little intimidated that since I''m so picky about my gemmies, he can''t get away with buying me maul jewelry

But I rarely get mean or judgmental comments from strangers since I''m more into colored stones and simple designs that don''t draw much attention.

 

[April20]

When I first got my e-ring, my MIL made the comment that she''d told DH that he''d better get me a nice one because I was nearly 30 and it''d be the only one I got. I didn''t say a word but thought to myself "why do you think you get to decide that I never get an upgrade???". This coming from a woman that''s probably had two or three different rings. I''m totally going to upgrade at some point in the future (not that DH knows this yet). I''m actually thinking about getting another ring that I can switch off with the one I have as I''m actually somewhat sentimentally attached to the current one, but I digress. I''m just waiting for the day I have a new one and what will come out of her mouth. She''s got no filter, so I''m sure it''ll be a doozy.

For now, I''d ignore your MIL and anyone else that makes comments like that. It''s just not worth responding to. People will always have their opinions and if they feel you''re being defensive, they tend to exploit it even more.

 

[brightlight]

Date: 10/19/2009 4:58:16 PM
Author: swedish bean
Honestly, it happens to me too. Many times my FRIENDS bring up my love for pearls and diamonds, or as they like to call it- ''BIG ROCKS-CARBON-i-cant-tell-the-difference-between-a-fake-and-yours''

It upsets me because this is something I''m into. When a friend asked what I was doing this last weekend and I told her ''stringing my new pearls'' and she got this snotty tone of ''WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?'' I was just ....

Why not?? because I like it??

Basically what I''m getting at, is I don''t understand why people, or friends for that matter can''t just accept us the way we are- diamond/ jewelry loving freaks. SO WHAT if I love diamonds and all things sparkly and pretty? Why is that something I get judged on??

You''re not alone. Just know that.

For most people, getting jewelry just entails going to the jewelry store, picking something out, and paying for it. They don''t understand that for us jewelry lovers, the piece of jewelry is just the end result/product of our hobby. For us, our hobby is the process: researching and finding the perfect gems, designing/picking out the settings, appreciating the craftsmanship and aesthetics, etc. I also think people view jewelry as a display of wealth, and there''s no purpose for it. An expensive car will at least get you from point A to B. They don''t understand that the process is our hobby, and the finished product is the result of our hobby.

 

[Blair138]

One time before DH and I were married, MIL made a comment about my ''big ring'' and how I ''had to have it'' and ''what would I have done if I got a smaller ring''. I honestly was so taken aback I almost burst out into tears but I held them back and turned bright red. But I did stick up for myself and calmly said that I was offended and asked her where she got that idea from. She claimed that that was what she thought, and I explained that if I got a ''small ring, then I would love it because of what it meant, the same thing that my ''big ring'' does'' I also made DH (then FI) who was sitting with us and heard the whole conversation, explain to his mother that he picked the ring out WITHOUT my help and that HE CHOSE the size, which was all true. She apologized and that was the last I ever heard of it, but I know she was really embarrassed because she was really wrong!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 10/19/2009 12:55:56 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
I would just give ''em a great big smile and say ''To each his own''. Then I would stare at my rings and polish them on my clothing.

Priceless.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 10/19/2009 7:54:17 PM
Author: Blair138
One time before DH and I were married, MIL made a comment about my ''big ring'' and how I ''had to have it'' and ''what would I have done if I got a smaller ring''. I honestly was so taken aback I almost burst out into tears but I held them back and turned bright red. But I did stick up for myself and calmly said that I was offended and asked her where she got that idea from. She claimed that that was what she thought, and I explained that if I got a ''small ring, then I would love it because of what it meant, the same thing that my ''big ring'' does'' I also made DH (then FI) who was sitting with us and heard the whole conversation, explain to his mother that he picked the ring out WITHOUT my help and that HE CHOSE the size, which was all true. She apologized and that was the last I ever heard of it, but I know she was really embarrassed because she was really wrong!

Omg I can''t believe she would say those things to you! Kudos for handling that so maturely, and I''m glad if she felt embarassed!

I can''t believe the things that come out of peoples mouths .. I don''t have much jewelry to speak of (yet

), so I haven''t had to deal with this yet ..

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 10/19/2009 4:58:16 PM
Author: swedish bean
Honestly, it happens to me too. Many times my FRIENDS bring up my love for pearls and diamonds, or as they like to call it- ''BIG ROCKS-CARBON-i-cant-tell-the-difference-between-a-fake-and-yours''

It upsets me because this is something I''m into. When a friend asked what I was doing this last weekend and I told her ''stringing my new pearls'' and she got this snotty tone of ''WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?'' I was just ....

Why not?? because I like it??

Basically what I''m getting at, is I don''t understand why people, or friends for that matter can''t just accept us the way we are- diamond/ jewelry loving freaks. SO WHAT if I love diamonds and all things sparkly and pretty? Why is that something I get judged on??

You''re not alone. Just know that.

AMEN to that!!

That is exactly how I feel.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I dont have any daughter in laws yet, but I will be extra cautious about what I say to them. My MIL used to say really hurtful things to me, when my husband was not there. It took years for him to finally
hear how she would treat me when he wasn''t around. You know, she is a wonderful woman. I don''t know anyone who doesn''t adore her. Most of the time now she is so gracious and kind to me. I was so
hurt by it as a young bride. My hubby is her oldest son, and I don''t think she was quite ready to let go of him. We married at 20. I totally get that now that I have sons.

I agree to kill them with kindness. Who knows where the judgement comes from. But you handled yourself so well Diva, good for you.

 

[jewelerman]

Date: 10/19/2009 2:23:45 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Preach it, Brother Kenny! Hallelujah!

I have an amen for brother Kenny!

 

[jewelerman]

The best comment:Last year at a charity christmas tree auction when i was told my ring out sparkled the Christmas lights!

worst comment:A few years ago when i was un-employed, a person I hardly knew walked up to me after CHURCH services and said that it was too bad that i was un-employed and that naturally i would be selling my jewelry to pay bills...

 

[sba771]

Oh yeah. My FMIL made sure to tell me that my FI was picking between two stones and the other one was much smaller and cheaper but he insisted I get the bigger one since I must have insisted.
She was also annoyed when for my 22nd b-day he got me a Cartier necklace (we were only together 8 weeks by then) and he stupidly told her the price. He got a long lecture from me about not sharing certain things.

Both times I responded that he just has amazing taste...in every arena.