Do you enjoy receiving gifts?

[diamondseeker2006]

I remember Christmas as a child, but my memories are more about being with extended family at my great-grandmother's or later at my parent's house. The earliest thing I can think of getting as a gift off the top of my head was a Chatty Cathy doll. Few people here will be old enough to have ever heard of it! But you pulled a string and she'd say a sentence. I remember my first Barbie,too. As I got older, I had an aunt and grandmother next door, and my aunt really started me on the jewelry hobby when I was very young, maybe 12-13 or so . Those were great gifts!

As an adult, I am happy to say that we do not exchange gifts with friends. I think that is kind of unnecessary since we can buy anything we'd actually want in a normal gift price range. I pay for a couple of close friends' lunch or dinner for their birthdays and they reciprocate. Over time we stopped giving gifts to siblings but continued giving gifts to nieces until they graduated from college. We do get together on or near holidays to visit and share a meal, though. We value time together more than material things at this point. We did give our parents gifts, though, and we just have my husband's mother remaining. That's always a difficult one. I usually give wedding gifts from the registry.

I am hard to buy for since I do not want any more stuff, and if I did, I'd want to pick it out! My kids know a few things I like such as restaurant gift cards, mani/pedi gift cards (prior to COVID and I am now stopping that), chocolate, flowering plants for my deck for Mother's Day. Can't really go wrong with those!

As far as giving goes, I only really enjoy giving gifts if it is something I know the person wants. That works well with my kids because they'll give me ideas. I love buying for them and helping them when we can. My husband and I both have to pick our own gifts and we are totally happy with that arrangement. My husband asked me about a week ago what I want for my birthday (and I already had designated something I got in June as my gift but he forgot!!!), so I told him I had ordered the WF DBTY necklace which was expected any day and that would be my birthday present. We don't worry about whether there's a gift on the actual birthday. Sometimes I don't know what I want and would rather wait until I do. He will buy me a card and flowers and either cook for me or take me out to eat on my actual birthday.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You will appreciate one of my favorite "gifts" of all time. My BBF (best Bruce friend) waited outside a rehearsal to have this BTR cover signed. When Bruce asked her name, she gave him mine.

Now THAT is quite a gift!!! What a good friend!

It reminds me when I was a child, my father went out of town on business and brought me back a Beatles album. So exciting!! But it turned out to be a cover band singing Beatles songs and not even a real Beatles album! It's the thought that counts!

 

[1ofakind]

I could not think of the first gift I remember giving or receiving. Maybe a bike when I was 9 for a birthday. My dad bought it used and fixed it up. For Christmas we usually got clothes at home and toys from extended family but I can not recall anything specifically. When I met DH he had never had a pet....so I surprised him with a fish.

I love to give and receive. I am easy to shop for and love surprises even if it is something I could buy for myself. I don't like clutter though so prefer useful or consumable gifts. I try to give something meaningful/personal so sometimes that means that we make gifts. A cashmere neck warmer for SIL to match his favorite coat, a funny/quirky planter for DD with an interesting plant she doesn't have. We are generally low key on gifts though...a few thoughtful items preferred over loads and loads of 'stuff'.

One of our favorite things to do is give quietly/secretly. An extra generous tip to a server every date night. A huge tip to celebrate our anniversary. DH likes to linger and hope to catch a glance of the server when they see the gratuity but I head straight for the car. I send friends things in the mail anonymously. I don't feel at all like I need the recognition...just knowing they have been surprised and hopefully make them smile that day. And then there is no awkward feeling that they need to reciprocate. I prefer that as I don't give to get and do not want people to feel obligated in any way. Sometimes they may mention that they got a random gift but sometimes I never hear about it and that is fine with me. There are other times during the year when we can do something anonymously perhaps through a charity or in confidence through a third party for someone who is need of something they would never ask for. That kind of thing is my favorite way to give.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

You will appreciate one of my favorite "gifts" of all time. My BBF (best Bruce friend) waited outside a rehearsal to have this BTR cover signed. When Bruce asked her name, she gave him mine.

Best gift ever

 

[TooPatient]

I absolutely LOVE giving gifts except for rare occasions where I really don't know the person and don't know where to begin. (such as DH's coworker whom I had never met and he only talked work with). Other than that, searching out just the right thing for people is fun for me. I don't do gifts for the scheduled holidays/birthdays except DH. Everyone else gets just because I thought of you sorts of things. The only discomfort I have here is a bit of what if I hurt someone's feelings as another got something more often or more expensive plus a bit of concern as I don't want anyone (my family members) to feel I am being showy or extravagant or making them feel like they have to try to give equal $$ gifts. Those feelings are quickly pushed aside as the excitement of finding something just perfect for someone is too great to worry long.

Receiving is uncomfortable for me. I over think things. At holiday parties, do I open it when handed the wrapped item or wait until we get home? Was I enthusiastic enough in my liking of it? Was I too enthusiastic and came across as not genuinely happy? Was that expensive?!? The thing I already bought for them because I thought they would love it is far less expensive and seems inadequate now so do I add a gift card or other item to it (make it a gift basket?) or does that come off as competing? If I don't add to it, do I come off as cheap and hurt their feelings? If I don't like it, I am stuck with it because what if they come visit and don't see whatever it is. Do I need to get them something next year for the annual party? If so, does that mean I should also get for x, y, and z couples who are also in our immediate friend group in the organization? Paper thank you? Email thank you? If paper, I don't have an address! What if they find out I gave it away? What if they think I like it and give more of the same? Was it supposed to be a gag gift so wants a laugh or is it serious and just not my style? The list goes on, but that is a good start....

First gift I remember receiving is a baby doll that someone gave me at the hospital when my baby brother was born. I was waiting in the hallway with my dad and grandma and whoever else I am forgetting and I was given a little baby of my own to care for. I was three years old. (might still have it in the storage shed)

First gift I remember giving is not a single item or a single person. I was about 8 years old and my mom gave me a small amount of money to buy presents for anyone in the family I wanted for Christmas. I sat down and made a list of everyone in the family I wanted to give something to and figured out how much money I could spend for each. It wasn't much. I probably had $30 for everyone and my list included all three of my great grandmas, four grandparents, brother, aunts, etc. She took me to the dollar store to do my shopping and I carefully walked through the store reading my list and looking at the items. I was so excited every time I found something that seemed like one of the people on my list would enjoy. I carefully placed it in my basket and put a check mark next to the name. Imagine the flood of memories and tears as I found that people still had those gifts years later. Two of my great grandmas got little 3" tall vases. I have those in my medicine cabinet right now as they were recognized by my family sorting through their belongings when they passed away and given to me to keep. I also have the gift I gave one of my grandmothers now that she is gone. I was so proud giving each of them a present that I had picked out and wrapped up by myself!

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Yes to both!

It's always a joy to open a gift from someone. I love the excitement that comes with it.

I love giving gifts but only when the gift is a product of inspiration. I'm not big on buying random things that will contribute to landfill.

I never give Christmas gifts unless I'm inspired.

Ooh one of my favorite gifting experiences was a Secret Santa at work. I drew a colleague whom I knew nothing about. I observed her for a few weeks, realised she was a foodie but a health buff so I made her this home made muesli and put it in a nice container. It was a slightly strange gift and she was really puzzled by it but she loved it. About a week later she went to ask the organizer who her Secret Santa was because she and her partner had finished the muesli and wanted the recipe to make more. I gave her the recipe of course! Very proud of that one!

 

[Dancing Fire]

@missy . Yes I enjoy receiving gifts. What do you have in mind for me?

 

[yssie]

Receiving:
Everyone in my #RealWorld knows that I'm "into" jewellery. So (almost) everyone (usually) gets me jewellery. The thing is... because I'm "into" jewellery, I know a lot about jewellery, and I have really strong opinions about jewellery. I don't actually know why people feel compelled to gift it to me - odds of nailing someone else's area of peculiarity are slim to none! I'm also a very un-sentimental person, and to me material gifts are material goods, and I don't like being responsible for safekeeping/cleaning/maintaining material goods that I don't especially care for but feel obligated to keep/wear/use. I LOVE receiving letters, cards with long notes, poems, photo albums, mixed tapes (who remembers those!?) memoirs of shared experiences. I also love the plethora of cat print socks my husband has given me

Giving:
I think being "into" something has made me a really good gift giver, because it's driven home the value of self-awareness. I know that if I'm choosing something that someone else is "into", then I'm going to need to either do some serious investigation into the subject or ask the recipient for help... And I also know that the safest gifts are those that have nothing to do with whatever the recipient is "into"!

 

[Kya]

I genuinely enjoy giving gifts, I always have been the first to gift amongst my family and friends to the extent I could afford at each moment. So much fun to plan and find the perfect thing for someone. And I enjoy receiving too. Both, as long as situation is organic and heartfelt.

In other words, the exception to giving is times when I am coerced to chip in for someone who isn't very kind.... and I also would not want to take a gift that is not comfortably within the means of the giver.

 

[inne]

The first gift I have a strong memory of is a pair of ice skates. My parents bought them secondhand and spent a whole evening cleaning them and making them look new. I was really young, maybe 4 or 5, but I remembering being very aware that this was a thoughtful thing to do.

With my husband and my side of the family, I love giving and receiving gifts. Gifts were an important of showing affection, creating special occasions, and maintaining cultural traditions throughout my childhood (we were expats). We only got gifts on special occasions and were very frugal with everyday purchases, but my parents would go all out on birthdays and Christmas. It definitely became a part of my 'love language' or whatever. Now, I get so much joy out of picking out the perfect thing, especially for my husband. And he's an amazing gift giver, whether it's a grand gesture or something small and sweet.

With his side of the family, it's a different story. They are the type of people who ask "what do you want for Christmas?" and literally want you to name a specific thing that they will then go out and buy and that's that. There seems to be no joy in giving gifts, nor is it a personal act of affection. My mother-in-law has a $200 budget for every single present for my husband and a $100 budget for me and the priority seems to be hitting the budget (not a penny over!). They also do not accept gifts with any sense of joy. It doesn't really matter what the gift is, there's barely any acknowledgement of it. I was totally baffled by it the first few years I was with my husband and, to be honest, I don't really understand the point of spending the time and money doing gifts at all.

So it all depends on the situation. With some people, it is so wonderful. With others, it is just an obligatory performance that makes me a bit uncomfortable.

 

[Missy]

My DH (when we were dating) used to write me long love letters that were incredibly romantic and sweet. It was a delight receiving and reading and cherishing them and I have them saved in a beautiful box in our NYC home. Come to think of it next time we go back there to pick up mail etc I am bringing those back with us. It's been a long while since I laid eyes on them and read them and I think it could be the perfect pick me up for the Covid blues.


@diamondseeker2006 like you we rarely exchange with friends these days. Just family and mainly my nieces and sister, BIL and parents and my DH. Just my immediate family. Mostly everyone else gets cards. Though I love to spontaneously buy for my dear friends if I see something that I think they will adore. But that is more of a from the heart without any occasion but our friendship in mind if you kwim.

@TooPatient I agree. One really needs to know the person one is buying for or how else can we get it right? Nice job on finding the perfect gift for everyone when you were 8.

@mellowyellowgirl I am with you completely. It is a joy and a thrill when we find (and get) that perfect gift. I just love getting the perfect gift for someone and seeing the excitement in their eyes as they realize what it is as they open the gift wrapping. It's a gift to me too because it brings me such happiness. When we were baking for our friends during holidays I got so excited knowing how yummy the cookies were and that they would be enjoyed by my friends and it was worth all the work and energy buying and baking and packing them up and sending them. We did that every year for decades for most of our friends but it got to be a bit much the past few years. Hoping after Covid 19 we can resume that again as it was truly a delight knowing how much they were enjoyed by our friends.

@yssie Agreed. It's hard to buy for us because we know too much. Best left to the experts IMO and the best gift in any case is a gift we will enjoy using/wearing and not a gift left in the box never to be adored. The most thoughtful gifts are the ones I enjoy the most too. Letters, poems, handmade cards, mixed tapes. Haha that might have been one of the first gifts my DH ever gave me. A mixed tape (that's how long ago it was haha) with such great songs on it. I still get the chills (in a good way) when I hear those songs come on Pandora or Tidal. And I look at Greg and he looks at me and we smile. All those years ago and we both still remember the songs on that first mixed tape he made for me when we were dating. He was and is a very thoughtful guy just like your DH is.

@Anne93 yes, a gift should be from the heart or it isn't meaningful. Any gift I give is always from the heart and any gift I receive from the heart is always greatly appreciated by me even if it isn't something I would have chosen for myself. The thought really does count more than anything. IMO.

@inne I agree. It depends on the people giving and the people receiving and if there is no joy there the experience is less than stellar. It is all about the sentiment behind the gift giving and receiving.

@rainydaze I cry too when I receive a gift so thoughtful and wonderful. Happy tears. The only kind I like to cry.
I am glad you have such lovely memories.

@partgypsy yes it is the thought behind the gift and I am sorry your current boyfriend isn't into commitment as much as you would like and it is the thought behind the gift. Maybe as time goes on he will change his mind? I know I did but it took me five years of dating my DH. Sometimes people surprise themselves. As far as girlfriends being better at picking gifts I can honestly say no. My DH was the best gift giver and while now we pick our own gifts I wonder if we went back to how we were when we were dating if he could do as great a job. As long as it isn't jewelry. I must choose my own (with his input of course) bling. I don't think you are high maintenance at all. You know what you want and need in a relationship and IMO that makes you low maintenance. We let people know what we want and it takes the guesswork out of things. That is the most efficient and easy way to do things IMO.

@Rhea I hear you. It can be stressful and not enjoyable depending on the circumstances. And we are all different and there is no one right way to be for sure. I hope the next gift you receive is a wonderful joyous surprise.

@seaurchin yes gift giving to the kids is the best! I love seeing the joy and delight on their faces. My nieces say I am the best gift giver and that is a compliment I cherish dearly.

@Trekkie haha I totally get how you feel and I hate faking enthusiasm and I have learned over the years it isn't worth it. I am not a good faker anyway and one can see right through me for sure. But also just like you wrote it perpetuates the less than great gift giving over the years so best to not be overly enthusiastic when receiving a gift you don't love. But one must balance that with graciousness and appreciation. Not an easy balancing act. For me it depends how close I am to that person. If it is someone I am super close with I might be very thankful but eventually let them know while I loved the sentiment the gift wasn't my style. Something like that so it isn't repeated next time. I remember one experience but it was with my DH so it was much easier to approach the topic of not liking it and exchanging it. I waited a bit before I said something to him as it was his wedding gift to me. But I didn't want to wait too long or I couldn't exchange it. It was jewelry and I had to speak up as it was expensive. Anyway it depends on the situation and the person and sometimes it is best left unsaid and sometimes it is best to speak up and share your thoughts in a soft and loving way.

@anne_h yes the small things and gestures speak volumes. It's the every day kindness and loving acts that make the relationship loving and wonderful and not the occasion gifts for sure.

@lyra yup it can be like that for sure. Sometimes too much pressure and we are all not into gift giving or receiving and that is A OK. Whatever works for you and your loved ones is what works. XOXO.

@MRBXXXFVVS1 yes what we cherish varies but I am with you that I need "services, actions, touch" from my dh more than I need material gifts. When he fixes and alters my clothing, when he creates things from his woodworking skills for me, when he cooks for me, bakes for me, cleans the house, does laundry, food shopping etc that all speaks volumes to me way more than any one gift ever could. And I too love putting energy in finding just the right gift for someone I love and care about. It is almost as much fun or maybe even more fun as receiving a great gift.


@stracci2000 love that your first memories are of jewelry gifts from your parents. And awww you deserve having money spent on you! It's true! I am not trying to change your mind but girl you do deserve it! Hugs.

@oakleaf79 I'm a minimalist too but trapped in the body of someone who adores shopping too much. LOL

@Bron357 yay another person who loves giving gifts. It is energizing and exhilarating finding and giving a gift someone adores. That antique mirror sounds amazing and I am glad the receiver cherished it as much as you enjoyed finding it for her!

@kayla17 girl, that is just the way we have to do it sometimes. Get the perfect gift for ourselves. It works! And your kids and dh are very lucky you enjoy buying gifts for them. I too love the random gift that comes out of the blue. Sometimes just knowing someone is thinking of us helps us get through a difficult time. XO.

@Daisys and Diamonds it's a (Bruce) date! Ice cream with Bruce. Not a bad combo.

@lilmosun wow that is a great gift from a dear friend. That rocks.

I love reading about your wonderful memories of receiving and giving gifts and thank you everyone for sharing your experiences.

 

[Missy]

@missy . Yes I enjoy receiving gifts. What do you have in mind for me?

Hahaha I almost missed this @Dancing Fire Hmm what can I get for you? Tell you what, let's do age before beauty. You give me a gift and then I will give you a gift. Deal?

 

[Missy]

Oops sorry I missed another reply. @1ofakind yes, I couldn't agree more. Our best gifts are always those that go to those in need and while we don't do it silently per se as our name is on the check it makes me feel warm and happy to give to organizations that I know need it and will benefit from it. And yes to tipping generously. It's a hard job and we show our appreciation with how much we tip. Especially now. The owner of our favorite ice cream shoppe told us that his staff was teary eyed at how generous people have been with tipping during Covid 19. And that makes me teary eyed too. What good is money if we cannot put it to good use and help others? 100% agree. What we donate is super important during all times but especially now when so many are struggling. I also love volunteering and giving my time and energy to worthwhile causes and that gives me so much joy to be able to give of myself and help others. I will add I have missed doing that during Covid 19 and am looking forward to getting back to in person volunteering as soon as I feel I can. Thanks for what you do and for sharing your experience with us here.

 

[ringbling17]

I just wanted to add that we used to exchange gifts between my kids and all their cousins (Under the age of 1 but it really got out of hand. We are talking like 20 or more cousins.
I felt like my kids and their cousins really didn’t appreciate what they were getting. We would come home with bags and bags of gifts and they would open a gift, throw it to the side and not give it another thought. Same with all their cousins. I would watch them rip open a gift and then on to the next.

I didn’t know how to put an end to it but finally one year I asked my family rather than doing the gift exchange could we donate to charity. I remember that first year bc there was a terrible flood in the Philippines (where I’m from) and many people lost their homes and possessions.
So the money I would normally have put towards gifts for the cousins, we donated to the people in the village. I received pictures of what was purchased. Water bottles, sandals, toiletries, etc. It was so, so nice and we’ve been doing that ever since rather than exchanging gifts.

My children l try to them give them a want, a need, a wear and a read. I’ve been doing that for a few years as well although sometimes they also just get one thing. Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read. Usually the need and wear get combined.

Im lucky bc my kids rarely ever ask me for things anyway. My oldest usually wants shoes, my second oldest wants stationary stuff and pencils, my third wants books and my youngest some gadget or science experiment thing. Then they all get socks and underwear or new pajamas, last a book, sometimes a coloring book and colored pencils. One year an origami book with the paper. Just easy and inexpensive things.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I send friends things in the mail anonymously.

How does it work out, usually? I did it twice and the receiving end went into a full on investigation each time. They were thrilled, but *had* to know who sent the gift (those were fun, customized items I had heard them mention . Under 30$).

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I like getting gifts--especially from Cartier and Tiffany! And my family likes the socks and L'Occtaine products I gift them.

cheers--Sharon

 

[1ofakind]

How does it work out, usually? I did it twice and the receiving end went into a full on investigation each time. They were thrilled, but *had* to know who sent the gift (those were fun, customized items I had heard them mention . Under 30$).

I have never had anyone go full Sherlock Holmes but I like to hear if they are trying to figure it out...the mystery is part of the gift.
At a graduation party recently I put several extra cards in the card basket...one was a retirement card signed "Sorry, wrong party" and a few other silly ones....one was from Donald J. Trump and written in his ridiculous grandiose manner...the parents were crazy not knowing who these extra cards were from and talking about it at dinner. They were trying to match up handwriting/ink from the other cards with no success (not my first rodeo...I don't make newbie mistakes, lol) Then DH spilled the beans that it was me. I was bummed that he did that....I like to fly under the radar. But as a result the recipient will be getting some special mail at college....at the request of her parents. lol.

 

[PintoBean]

Tomorrow's my wedding anniversary. I'll take a gift!

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I have never had anyone go full Sherlock Holmes but I like to hear if they are trying to figure it out...the mystery is part of the gift.
At a graduation party recently I put several extra cards in the card basket...one was a retirement card signed "Sorry, wrong party" and a few other silly ones....one was from Donald J. Trump and written in his ridiculous grandiose manner...the parents were crazy not knowing who these extra cards were from and talking about it at dinner. They were trying to match up handwriting/ink from the other cards with no success (not my first rodeo...I don't make newbie mistakes, lol) Then DH spilled the beans that it was me. I was bummed that he did that....I like to fly under the radar. But as a result the recipient will be getting some special mail at college....at the request of her parents. lol.

You're definitely stronger than me!! I couldn't leave them in that crazy stage of frantically calling everyone! When I had the impression it was becoming bothersome to them I just caved and revealed myself.

 

[kenny]

No, and I let the 2 or 3 possible offenders in my life know.