Do you enjoy receiving gifts?

[Missy]

Do you enjoy receiving gifts?
Do you enjoy giving gifts?

What was the first gift you remember receiving?
What was the first gift you remember giving?


Based on the gift giving for wedding thread by @AllAboardTheBlingTrain I started wondering where you guys stand on receiving and giving gifts. As in do you enjoy giving but not receiving or receiving but not giving or both or neither? And why do you think that is?

 

[Missy]

I'll start. I have always enjoyed giving gifts.
The thrill of seeing another excited when opening their gift and then the delight in their eyes when happy with the gift has always been a joyous experience for me. I guess it started when we were little and I always associate gift giving and receiving with happy and loving occasions.

And I have always loved getting gifts. It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all to give or receive and I enjoy both equally I think. Though giving is such a wonderful experience so maybe giving is a bit more thrilling than receiving unless that gift is from my DH and is made of diamonds. Then it is pretty thrilling so haha IDK which is better. They are both pretty great. Even when I get a gift I am not over the moon crazy about I am very happy because that person thought of me and wanted to give me a gift so yeah it's a pretty excellent experience no matter the gift. I love both giving and receiving.

The first gift I remember getting was a big blue stuffed elephant from my aunt and uncle. It was much bigger than me. I was probably about 2 or 3 years old. I kept that elephant for a very long time til the stuffing was coming out of it and my parents took it away from me with my crying and screaming. But I digress. It was well loved and I had it for longer than I probably should have. LOL.

The second gift I remember receiving was from my dad and mom. From FAO Shwartz and the first of its kind I believe. A red electric car. That I could drive on the sidewalk. I was very popular on my block as I was the first and only kid on the block at that young age to have their own car. I remember my mom saying to my dad he spoils us and it was too expensive (1969 I believe was the year but not positive about that) and I remember endless hours of enjoyment riding that car.

I cannot recall my first experience with gift giving but to say I always get a thrill when buying a gift for someone and giving them that gift and I love doing it in person if possible. I always give cash for weddings but for other occasions I try to figure out what the person wants and get it for them. I love the element of surprise but only if I am confident they will enjoy what I got for them. I don't want to toot my own horn but I am pretty good with gift giving in that I come up with good choices that are enjoyed by the recipient.

I know that gift giving and/or receiving is not a joyful experience for everyone and if you are willing to share I'd love to hear what your personal experience and thoughts are on this topic.

 

[TooPatient]

Great topic! I'll have to come back later to give a proper reply (2am here and I have to get up in less than 5 hours...), but I absolutely LOVE giving gifts. Receiving is a much more complicated answer.

 

[Missy]

Great topic! I'll have to come back later to give a proper reply (2am here and I have to get up in less than 5 hours...), but I absolutely LOVE giving gifts. Receiving is a much more complicated answer.

I know and I was (a little bit) surprised to read how some are so uncomfortable with gift receiving but it makes sense. It's all about how we were brought up as to how we feel about gifts in general I think. You are still awake 2 AM your time and I got up at 3 AM my time LOL we are on backwards schedules just like one of my dear friends D. She is always still awake just as I am waking and goes to bed the same time I get up for the morning haha.

Sweet dreams @TooPatient. See you later. XO.

 

[dk168]

I enjoy giving/gifting more than to receiving, for the reason that I have very strong personal tastes and preferences which makes it difficult for peeps to find things that I like.

Besides, if I want something, I just go and buy it myself. Therefore, I am a difficult person to gift, IYKWIM.

DK

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Thanks for the tag @missy! I love giving and receiving gifts both, but I don’t like to exchange high value gifts with friends or anyone who isn’t very very close family. The reason being that I think people have different finances, budgets etc and I don’t want to create undue pressure on somebody or have it created on me. I really enjoy thoughtful presents more than expensive ones, presents that show how well someone knows me. I like experience driven presents from SOs or friends. I adore flowers. I also like to give gifts that require me to put in some effort. Either I make them, or even if I buy them I try to buy something that I KNOW they will love. I like to write long letters for close friends and family on milestone birthdays (multiple pages usually), sometimes cook them a really nice meal that I know they will love (I’m the mom friend usually baking cakes and making dinner for my friends on their birthdays haha). I think I enjoy both giving and receiving almost equally, maybe giving more than receiving. A thoughtful present beats out an expensive present almost every time (unless the expensive one is also thoughtful I guess!) The only exception to my gifting policy is either if a person outright TELLS me EXACTLY what they want for their birthday, then I just buy that, or if it’s a wedding gift to a couple, where I just give cash.

Don’t get me wrong - I love hangbags and jewelry and scarves as much as (probably more than) the next girl, but I don’t feel comfortable accepting them from (most) others

 

[Missy]

I enjoy giving/gifting more than to receiving, for the reason that I have very strong personal tastes and preferences which makes it difficult for peeps to find things that I like.

Besides, if I want something, I just go and buy it myself. Therefore, I am a difficult person to gift, IYKWIM.

DK

I find people who label themselves as "difficult' are more interesting and fun than difficult. JMO. FWIW I am a "difficult" person to buy gifts for as well and like you I just buy what I want myself generally. When I was younger it was different but at this stage I have all I need and almost all (if not all) I want.

 

[Missy]

Thanks for the tag @missy! I love giving and receiving gifts both, but I don’t like to exchange high value gifts with friends or anyone who isn’t very very close family. The reason being that I think people have different finances, budgets etc and I don’t want to create undue pressure on somebody or have it created on me. I really enjoy thoughtful presents more than expensive ones, presents that show how well someone knows me. I like experience driven presents from SOs or friends. I adore flowers. I also like to give gifts that require me to put in some effort. Either I make them, or even if I buy them I try to buy something that I KNOW they will love. I like to write long letters for close friends and family on milestone birthdays (multiple pages usually), sometimes cook them a really nice meal that I know they will love (I’m the mom friend usually baking cakes and making dinner for my friends on their birthdays haha). I think I enjoy both giving and receiving almost equally, maybe giving more than receiving. A thoughtful present beats out an expensive present almost every time (unless the expensive one is also thoughtful I guess!) The only exception to my gifting policy is either if a person outright TELLS me EXACTLY what they want for their birthday, then I just buy that, or if it’s a wedding gift to a couple, where I just give cash.

Don’t get me wrong - I love hangbags and jewelry and scarves as much as (probably more than) the next girl, but I don’t feel comfortable accepting them from (most) others

Agreed! We generally exchange higher ticket items with family members and not with friends. But it does depend on the friend and I am 100% with you in never making the recipient feel uncomfortable by an inappropriate (expensive or otherwise) gift. The whole point of giving is to bring pleasure to the other person.

How thoughtful of you to create the above gifts such as letters and meals. Very thoughtful gifts!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

My address is
33 Hineo...

 

[Missy]

My address is
33 Hineo...

And I know the perfect gift for you! Bruce Springsteen wrapped up and ready to pay you a personal visit!

Am I right?

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I do!

And I like giving them as well.
I'm the person who will pick up that perfect little gift for Christmas in January...

First gift was my first doll when I was three.

Loved her till she completely fell apart when washed (it was one of those 70ies rag dolls).

Mom went above and beyond to procure the exact same doll and kept writing me postcards from said doll from her " thermal spa cure " .
I still vividly remember that. I was under 5.
How happy I was when she finally got "back home" all new!




My mom was soo good at it. I remember telling her that as well. She gave gifts you didn't even know you wanted and had so many creative ideas. Also no hidden agenda / did it because she truly enjoyed making us happy.... She was the perfect Santa. She gave me shoes when I was 3 or 4 and she tried them on while I was sleeping. I couldn't believe Santa knew my EXACT shoe size. She said the magic elf workshop is all about getting everything exactly right for the children. Happy memories.


DH, on the other hand doesn't care for gifts (both ways). He will make an effort because I like receiving them. But no jewelry or diamond surprises, please. I'm too picky in that regard.

 

[Missy]

I do!

And I like giving them as well.
I'm the person who will pick up that perfect little gift for Christmas in January...

First gift was my first doll when I was three.

Loved her till she completely fell apart when washed (it was one of those 70ies rag dolls).

Mom went above and beyond to procure the exact same doll and kept writing me postcards from said doll from her " thermal spa cure " .
I still vividly remember that. I was under 5.
How happy I was when she finally got "back home" all new!




My mom was soo good at it. I remember telling her that as well. She gave gifts you didn't even know you wanted and had so many creative ideas. Also no hidden agenda / did it because she truly enjoyed making us happy.... She was the perfect Santa. She gave me shoes when I was 3 or 4 and she tried them on while I was sleeping. I couldn't believe Santa knew my EXACT shoe size. She said the magic elf workshop is all about getting everything exactly right for the children. Happy memories.


DH, on the other hand doesn't care for gifts (both ways). He will make an effort because I like receiving them. But no jewelry or diamond surprises, please. I'm too picky in that regard.

Not picky. Discerning. We know more about jewelry than many people so that makes it more challenging for someone less knowledgeable to choose jewelry for us. It’s just smart to choose our own jewelry. It can be a costly mistake to let our DHs choose unless they are as knowledgeable as we are and know our exact taste.

 

[dk168]

@missy, another reason why I dearly miss my late partner is that we knew what to get for each other for presents with ease.

DK

 

[Missy]

@missy, another reason why I dearly miss my late partner is that we knew what to get for each other for presents with ease.

DK

I’m sorry. I can only imagine how hard it is missing him for so many reasons.
(((Hugs))).

 

[rainydaze]

I really enjoy both giving and receiving gifts. I probably enjoy giving them a little more, as I love getting that inspiration for a perfect gift and seeing their joy when it hits the spot. But I also cry when a friend or DH gives me something that hits the spot... I think gifts are my number one love language. When they are thoughtful and show that the person knows me, it gets me every time.

I do not, however, enjoy receiving gifts amongst a group, such as showers. I feel self-conscious and it takes me out of the moment. I am more focused on my awkward face and useless fingers than on the gift or the giver.

My mom was great at gift-giving and I have a handful of wonderful memories. Since this is a jewelry forum I'll share this one even though it isn't my youngest memory: my parents took me around to every jewelry store in search of an opal ring for my 13th birthday. We kept going until we found 'the one'. There was one contender early on but my mom just knew.... we kept going until finally I put one on and LIT UP. The opal is cracked and the shank is misshapen but I still have it. So began my love of jewelry!

The first gift I remember giving... oh boy. Well, I hate to admit it but I think I loved getting gifts as a kid but it took a while for me to develop the love and understanding of how great it is to give them too. Late teens, I would say. Although, around 13 I picked out a letter opener for my mom and had it engraved. She had mentioned wishing she had one along the way. She used it until the day she got too sick, and every now and then she would tell me how much she loved it and how she thought of me every time she used it. Come to think of it, that may be what made it click for me how a thoughtful gift can mean so much, how much joy there is in giving because it is a powerful way to convey love. When she opened that there was no question it was one of the best gifts she'd ever received! All the crown jewels couldn't have competed! Seriously!

 

[partgypsy]

I enjoy both giving and receiving gifts, I think I enjoy giving gifts a little more. I think it depends on how thoughtful the gift is. I think I usually? do a good job. One of the first gifts I remember giving, my family bought a newly built house, and my mother mentioned a couple times she was annoyed the builder didn't install a door knocker. So I think I was in middle school and saved my money and bought a bronze doorknocker. And my Dad installed it. They liked it so much they even thought of engraving something on it but we never got around to it.

Jewelry related gifting memories, was my grandmother would sometimes hand down some costume jewelry for us, she loved going to yard sales. Even if it was used she would put it in a pretty box she also find and make it pretty. In HS a friend of my older brother gave me and my sister complementary necklaces that were probably not very expensive but I thought very pretty, cloisonne butterfly on a chain. Mine was orange and pink.

I don't know if this is something other women have experienced, but my girlfriends are MUCH better at picking out gifts for me as well as receiving gifts than the guys in my life. In fact with my ex it was a point in contention. For example he often didn't like or wear the stuff I picked out for him even though I knew his style really well! But then if his Mom or sister bought him something (even if he himself admitted he thought it was ugly) he would wear it. When I pointed that out he'd say oh but it reminds him of that person (which would make me feel like chopped liver)... anyways there is more, but gift giving dynamic (him not getting me anything, or something inappropriate/thoughtless or clearly not my taste even though we lived together for 25 years) was in my case a sign of a larger problem. Both because he did give me thoughtful gifts at the beginning of the relationship, and sure enough the last 7 years of our relationship he had both emotional affairs with other women as well as a physical affair where he WAS exchanging thoughtful gifts (such as books or music) with that person, but not me....

The guy I'm seeing on a casual basis is better than my ex, in that he is great at the gift of his time and expertise, helping me fix my house. He also gifts flowers. But overall he really is not into personalized gift giving or receiving. In this case it's more because it's a) not his style and b) he doesn't want to signify anything being a more serious relationship than it is. So while the gift giving itself is not a dealbreaker, what it signifes does mean we will part ways at some point because while I do enjoy what we have, at some point I want at least the opportunity to be in a serious relationship. This probably makes me sound much more high maintenance than I am but I'm not! I'm actually a pretty easy to please person.

 

[Rhea]

Do you enjoy receiving gifts?
Not usually. I find it very stressful. A bottle of wine to share or cookies or something like that can be nice. I just don't know how to react so I normally lie which I'm not good at. No matter how good of a gift giver someone proclaims they are, I generally don't like what they give me. It puts me in a very difficult spot to lie and pretend I like it. I have thrown away or regifted countless gifts.

Do you enjoy giving gifts?
Not at all. If I give someone something it's because I found something spur of the moment I thought they'd like. I don't gift on traditional occasions other than with a couple of people who like to do so. It's far too much stress and pressure.

What was the first gift you remember receiving?
I remember a doll but I was about 12 years old so I must have had gifts before then.

What was the first gift you remember giving?
I was excited about Christmas when I was young and I remember having a $10 budget for each family member. I bought my dad socks. I don't know how old I was.

 

[seaurchin]

I like the special attention but the gifts themselves are rarely anything I especially need or want. Or if they are, it's just regular kind of stuff like candles, chocolates or bubble bath that I could buy for myself anyway. So it's pleasant but not a giant thrill to me. If my nearest and dearest didn't give m a birthday present etc., my feelings would be hurt though.

I do enjoy giving gifts and put a lot of thought into picking them out. But there again, most of the recipients are probably like me; they have their own tastes and don't get all that excited about owning yet another item (though I assume that they, too, appreciate the thought).

With the couple of very close family members that I give or get expensive gifts with, we talk about it rather than have surprises. I do like the more expensive presents that I pick out for myself!

Little kids are the ones it's really fun to buy for.

 

[Trekkie]

I rarely enjoy receiving gifts. I'm difficult to buy for and when people buy me things they almost never get it right. Then I end up feeling guilty and ungrateful, and overcompensate by faking enthusiasm... Which means people feel they bought the right thing and results in me getting future gifts of a similar type or theme. The best gifts I receive are when I send links, and specify exactly what I want and in what colour or configuration. I used to feel that this was rude and demanding, but honestly, it prevents a lot of frustration and resentment.

At one point I had friends who would ask me what I want and then complain that it's expensive or extravagant and buy me knock offs of what I ask for, "because it's exactly the same". Le Creuset stoneware and Urban Decay makeup comes to mind. This was despite all of us spending around the same amount on birthday presents for each other. For some reason it was felt I didn't need the same amount spent on me. I drifted out of that friendship circle.

I had a close friend of over 20 years who always made very specific requests for gifts. I appreciated this because it took the guesswork out of it and meant that she always got exactly what she wanted. Then I realised that for the last 10 years of our friendship she'd never bought me a single gift... Never paid for a meal when we went out, didn't get me a gift for two milestone birthdays, or even a card for my wedding. This despite giving thoughtful, expensive gifts to other friends. There were other issues too. I drifted out of that friendship too.

I enjoy giving gifts. I'm pretty generous, and I like giving friends things they'll actually use and enjoy. I've given friends mid-range designer handbags, shoes, perfume, a vintage suede leather jacket, a tablet, a diamond pendant (the friend of 20+ years), and furniture (random, but she was a student at the time, she picked it out and I paid). Literally not one of the friends mentioned here has reciprocated. I'm ok with this - I didn't give to receive, I gave to make the person happy. But it does get annoying when friends expect me to buy them things because I'm in a better financial position than they are. It's far more fun to surprise someone with something nice picked up while on a trip that made me think of them, or while out or on a trip together pay for something someone wants but can't quite afford right at that moment.

Since having kids I've generally scaled back on giving people gifts, except with family. Everyone (except one SIL) has the same attitude to gift giving as I do - give a list of exactly what you want. That way you'll still end up surprised, but with something you won't give away.

 

[anne_h]

I generally do not enjoy giving or receiving gifts. I'm particular about what I like and most things are clutter to me. I live clean in a small space so do not want more 'stuff'.

I don't enjoy trying to pick out gifts for others either. I do it for my kids, and that's about it.

I do enjoy when my partner brings me small things that show he's thinking of me (eg: favorite wine, snacks, etc). But I consider that more of a favor than a gift. I do it for him too.

Anne

 

[lyra]

I find it stressful both ways. I'm no Grinch, but I hate surprises so getting gifts is hard. I'm also an introvert. I feel like giving gifts can be hit or miss too. It makes me feel inadequate now that my kids are all grown up. I don't really give anyone else gifts.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Do you enjoy receiving gifts?
Do you enjoy giving gifts?

What was the first gift you remember receiving?
What was the first gift you remember giving?

I personally prefer receiving other "love languages" such as touch, words of affirmation, quality time, and services from DH. And just quality time with family and friends. When it comes to gifts, I prefer experiences to share with the gift giver. I don't really like most material gifts I receive and end up donating them. DH knows me pretty well though, so his gifts are spot on.

I absolutely love giving thoughtful and generous gifts though. I put a lot of energy into picking the right gift based on the recipient's interests, tastes, and needs. Something that does bother me is when people don't acknowledge or thank me for my gift. This has happened for wedding and baby shower presents. That typically ends my desire to give to them.

I honestly can't remember my first gift, maybe it was a teddy bear? The first gift I gave was probably some artwork I made for my parents.

 

[seaurchin]

Once an acquaintance of mind sent me a link to the gift registry she had made on Amazon. I hadn't asked where she was registered, there was no big special occasion coming up for her like a wedding or anything, and I didn't have any plans to buy her anything. I was so surprised lol.

 

[stracci2000]

The first gift I can remember clearly was a gold plated flower pendant with a tiny seed pearl in the center.
It was for my 7th or 8th birthday from a friend at school. I think we must have had a party.
I loved that necklace and wore it often.

I also remember being surprised by my parents for getting a good report card in the 4th grade.
They surprised me with a pair of red heart shaped rhinestone stud earrings. I loved those earrings.

As an adult, I feel awkward receiving gifts, even at Christmas time. I feel like people shouldn't be spending money on me.

 

[lyra]

Birthdays and Christmases were very small for gift giving growing up. It was much more about the meals and extended family. I always got a ball for easter. That's it, but a fond memory.

 

[oakleaf]

I generally do not enjoy giving or receiving gifts. I'm particular about what I like and most things are clutter to me. I live clean in a small space so do not want more 'stuff'.

I don't enjoy trying to pick out gifts for others either. I do it for my kids, and that's about it.

I do enjoy when my partner brings me small things that show he's thinking of me (eg: favorite wine, snacks, etc). But I consider that more of a favor than a gift. I do it for him too.

Anne

Same here. I am a minimalist and I don‘t like having a lot of stuff.

 

[Bron357]

I’m hard to buy for, I have everything already.
what I love though is GIVING gifts.
im a bit of a legend with my shopping abilities (plenty of practice ha ha) and I’m absolutely thrilled when I can source some long wanted item.
I went to a lovely work colleagues wedding and I appointed myself as present buyer for the group of us. Having been to Sarah’s home I knew exactly what she was needing, an antique mirror for over the fireplace. I bargained down the price and was very pleased with purchase.
Wrapping it was going to be tricky, so I went to the haberdashery shop and bought a few metres of Calico, some lace ribbon and stopped by the $2 shop and Bought some costume jewellery pearls. At the Salvos (same as Good Will) I found a few diamonte brooches and earrings for a few dollars each.
some I wrapped it and decorated it with these items. It looked fabulous.
with most of the work invitees I arranged for us to meet at her house to gift the present.
she was gobsmacked and wept, like ugly wept. She was so overcome and was hugging everyone and crying.
Best gift given ever.

 

[ringbling17]

I like receiving gifts but only if they are heartfelt and/or useful. Like I love the random bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine just because. Something for the house would be nice or a gift certificate to Target, etc.

I have to admit though, I very rarely get gifts from anyone, even from my husband. But I never expect gifts from anyone either.

No one ever celebrates my birthday or gives me anything for Christmas. Usually if I don’t remind my husband, he won’t even take me out to eat for an occasion. He’s just never been a gift giver.
I more or less get my own gifts for myself or I will leave him hints if I really want him to buy me something.

I enjoy giving gifts to my kids and my husband but not so much to other people. I just don’t know what they want and I would hate to get them something they won’t use.

I usually get gift cards or Visa gift cards when I give someone a gift. That way they can chose exactly what they want.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

And I know the perfect gift for you! Bruce Springsteen wrapped up and ready to pay you a personal visit!

Am I right?

Well you do just live down the road .... and you never know, he might be out buying an icecream once we have delt to covid !

 

[lilmosun]

Well you do just live down the road .... and you never know, he might be out buying an icecream once we have delt to covid !

You will appreciate one of my favorite "gifts" of all time. My BBF (best Bruce friend) waited outside a rehearsal to have this BTR cover signed. When Bruce asked her name, she gave him mine.