Do you buy your SO a Valentine's day present?

[Pandora II]

We don't do anything, not even cards.

I personally hate Valentine's Day - it's a commercial invention involving overpriced flowers, cards, chocolates and tacky dinner menus. It is a way of rubbing it in to 'unhappily' single people that they are single and to people in not so great relationships that he/she has been failed and let down again.

On the other-hand, it's our semi-versary, and we also held our engagement party on V-day. Thus giving everyone a chance to go out that evening single, couple or whatever.

 

[Circe]

We don't do anything, not even cards.

I personally hate Valentine's Day - it's a commercial invention involving overpriced flowers, cards, chocolates and tacky dinner menus. It is a way of rubbing it in to 'unhappily' single people that they are single and to people in not so great relationships that he/she has been failed and let down again.

On the other-hand, it's our semi-versary, and we also held our engagement party on V-day. Thus giving everyone a chance to go out that evening single, couple or whatever.

On the one hand, I see where you're coming from: V-Day is definitely as beloved by marketers as it is by lovers.

That said ... I think the best pro-Valentine's Day piece I ever read was written by Catherynne Valente, who's one of my favorite authors. A counter-argument, madame?

http://yuki-onna.livejournal.com/566312.html

 

[Pandora II]

Interesting article. I think the difference between Valentine's and other holidays is that pretty much everyone can take part in the others. Okay so you may not be of that religion but that doesn't mean you can't buy chocolate eggs or eat enormous amounts of food and exchange presents or float candles down rivers or whatever.

Valentines Day is exclusive to people who are romantically involved. It is not a celebration of agape...

Maybe being at boarding school made it harder than other places - watching the disappointment in people's faces when the arrival of the post bore no letter or card for them made me feel that this was a practice that wouldn't be allowed in any other way. The school also arranged that you could buy roses to be delivered during school with the proceeds going to the annual charity appeal, again a difficult situation for many - especially when girls with armloads would ask others how many they got knowing full well that they got nothing.

I don't see any day in which all Jewish or black or female or gay people are excluded so why should there be a day that excludes single people in this way?

I'm not actually hard-line on this IRL, I'm just throwing these thoughts out there. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who does regularly buy me flowers or other gifts just because... and I do the same for him. Oh, and in certain industries I have worked in I have milked the holiday for all it's worth commercially so I'm also a total hypocrite!

 

[Circe]

I ... don't know about other holidays being non-exlusionary. I'm the product of a mixed marriage, so although I do identify as primarily Jewish, I have at least a teeny-tiny stake in Christmas, at least culturally ... but I know a lot of my Jewish friends feel lost and marginalized on that day. Easter? Doesn't have any meaning at all for me (though, dear separation-of-Church-and-State government, I appreciate the time off work). At least this one is sufficiently non-denominational as to permit broad participation. And that's not even going into, say, days like Mother's and Father's Days, which sting for people who've lost their parents, have awful relationships with them, or suffer infertility: at least on V-Day, you have the vague hope next year will be better. And, at least with V-Day, it's a culturally accepted practice to whinge about it: my friend who hates Mother's Day because her mom left when she was a baby mentioned her feelings at a group luncheon once, and you should have seen the looks of, "Ugh, why does it always have to be about you" that she got.

I do agree that the kind of love that it celebrates is primarily romantic, which I think is a flaw - given the opportunity, I try to use the day to tell friends and family I love them, too. You'd think the big corporations would see a chance for even more profit if they were to start capitalizing on that ....

 

[chemgirl]

Valentine's day in highschool actually wasn't all that bad. The school had charity fundraisers where we payed a dollar to fill out a compatibility test and they would match us to other classmates. We'd get the results on Valentine's day so it was always a lot of fun with a lot of teasing. The school also sold "Candygrams" where you could have a message and candy sent to other students and the money went to charity. My friends and I would always send each other candygrams from "your secret admirer" with song lyrics. I remember one year most of us ended up using Mr. Big's To Be With You (more than a decade after the song came out). It was hilarious. I don't remember any of us receiving candy from SO's or other students who were interested in us in a romantic way. I think everybody knew they didn't really have a secret admirer, it was just in fun.

 

[Pandora II]

Ah, Mothers Day and Fathers Day aren't really celebrated in the UK although it's becoming more common thanks to commercial efforts. But I get your point...and it's very valid.

As atheists from different backgrounds - my parents are non-believing cultural christians and DH is half jewish, we celebrate the joy of chocolate, a good lunch and spring at easter and consider it really a pagan fertility festival along with May 1st which is really Beltane and also a public holiday here,

 

[meresal]

Yes, we do. Nothing big though.

My DH's birthday, our anniversary, and most other gift giving holidays are in the 2nd half of the year, so I get DH something small for Valentine's Day and Father's Day, and an inexpensive Easter basket with all of his favorite candy.

 

[tyty333]

I don't usually, it might just be a love note or a special candy. I was eying some heart shaped jerky on etsy though, I think a guy would appreciate that.

I do get my kids little gifs...I just bought my 17 year old son a bag of beef jerky. I'm going to make him a card on the
computer that says "Don't Beee-f Jerky...Be my Valentine". Korny yes...but he'll love the jerky!

 

[jaysonsmom]

We don't really celebrate it because we both think Valentine's is for couples who are dating. Once you're married, you gain an anniversary, and you drop Valentine's Day. However, occasionally we'll pick up a card or some chocolate for each other. More on his part than mine. My hubby likes buying things for me.

 

[aviastar]

My birthday is actually on the 14th, so we do have a nice dinner (we're cooking at home this year) and he picks up something small for me, sometimes flowers, but it's really more a birthday dinner than a Valentine's dinner. This year we picked out something we wanted for the house and we'll buy it together.

I love having a Valentine's birthday because no matter the state of my love life, my friends and I have always had something happy to celebrate, so I never associated being single with being left out of this day. My dad always brought flowers home for each of his daughters, too, and sent them to us when we were away at school. The marketing is certainly geared towards couples, but almost everyone I know takes the opportunity to tell lots of people how much they mean to them, which I think is really nice.

 

[happybear]

Nope. We feel V-day is just overhype and a day for shops to overcharge.
Anyway, we're not really into gifts. Most of the time if I see something he'll like, I'll just get it for him. And if he knows there's something I like, he'll offer to get it for me (he's not very good in buying gifts..)
Even on birthdays we'll just go out for a nice meal.

 

[monarch64]

Uh-oh...I purchased a really cute box of Valentine's cards at Barnes & Nobles last week and sent two to my parents (they always send me a card and chocolates), and I'm posting a card in every co-worker's mailbox when I work on Sunday. I LOVE V-Day! To me, it's the only day of the year that it's acceptable to be loving, and I kind of hate to be publicly affectionate or loving so Valentine's is the perfect excuse. I'm doing it...and when I get to work on Tuesday I'm bringing pink frosted cupcakes with me!

ETA: SO didn't used to celebrate Valentine's Day. I sort of asked him to do so this past year...we'll see what happens!

 

[chemgirl]

After all of my no presents talk it looks like I am getting a present!

My SIL manages a furniture store and I had a voicemail from her store today saying that my delivery would be a day late. I wasn't expecting a delivery so I called SIL to ask about it. She spilled the beans that DH bought the bed that matches our bedroom set. We currently have a wrought iron bed and it makes clanging noises whenever we move. It drives me crazy. I am so excited for a nice solid bed!

So it appears that I'm only anti-valentine's presents when I'm not getting one, lol.

 

[Arkteia]

I use it as a good reason to give my husband gifts that would be nice for the whole house. Two years ago, I bought him a kitten for a present. Not that he asked for her, but really, could not refuse. I wanted a kitten...
If I remember correctly, our second child was also a Valentine present, and my husband was happy beyond belief.

 

[rosetta]

We went out for a nice lunch today as I'm now on my way back to my home in another city.

We aren't doing presents this year as all our expenditure is wedding-related and we are going on yet another holiday next month (India this time)

ETA: we did pick our wedding bands today as our pretend v day gifts Lol

 

[manderz]

We don't do anything for Valentine's day. Our anniversary is Christmas eve, then we have Christmas, his birthday is the 8th of January, and mine is the very last day of February. We combine our anniversary and Christmas, and skip Valentine's day, at most we get each other cards and go out to eat.

 

[marcy]

I got him a box of chocolate and yogurt covered heart shaped pretzels and some heart fuzzy dice. I thought I would stick them on his computer in the morning.

 

[Imdanny]

Beyond candy, flowers? No.

 

[yennyfire]

Nope, I generally give him a card that I've made...we do give the kids little gifts...both of my kids had been begging for Pillow Pets and V-Day seemed the perfect time to give them such cuddly "friends". DS got an adorable dragon and DD got a really cute bunny. They were so excited to get them and I love nothing more than seeing the joy on their little faces....

 

[iheartscience]

No, we never do gifts. We might do cards every now and then but even that is rare. My husband will usually make us a tasty steak dinner, though. I'm already looking forward to that tonight!

ETA we have nothing against Valentine's Day, though-we're just not that into it.

 

[Gypsy]

A Kitchen Aid stand mixer. He's been wanting one for years. Costco had the one I was eyeing for him in and I just said... what the heck. I know darned well it's not going to get used. But I can always sell it on ebay. Hubby loves gadgets. But I just don't think this one is going to get used.

ETAL: His birthday is in February so usually his V-Day presents are combined with B-day Presents.

 

[Liane]

I bought him one (1) three-inch-tall Teuscher gnome last time I was at the shop buying chocolates for myself. I told the people working there that it was "all he was getting for Valentine's" (all narrow-eyed and witchy) and they laughed pretty hard thinking he must be in trouble for something.

But he wasn't, of course, it's just that we never do presents for Valentine's.

(I'm secretly bummed he didn't even save me a gnome shoe or anything, though. I would have liked a shoe.)

 

[partgypsy]

Husband got a couple candles and some beef jerky, kids got chocolate covered marshmellow hearts and heart balloons, grandparents got handmade card from the kids and MIL a silly card with box of chocolates, mom got card with money.
Last night worked on addressing all the kid's cards and candy for their respective classmates and teachers.

I often write my husband a romantic note for V-day but was not in the mood this time.
I keep hoping my husband will get a clue but maybe it's me who should get a clue. I think I'm going to menally bookmark Valentine's day as another kid-oriented holiday where I make or do something fun with the kids at this point.

 

[kama_s]

I don't like celebrating Valentine's day - so much so, that I've forbidden my husband to get me flowers/candy! I also hate going out for dinner because there are so many silly kids running around town - boys looking all silly and girls with single roses swooning over their teenage love. I guess I'm just not a lovey-dovey kinda person. Ugggghhhhhhh!!

I do, however, break my own rule and make little packages of candy for my husband and brother. I used to actually make it for my little brother, but then started making one for my hubby too - just so he wouldn't feel left out!

That said, on the first Valentine's Day my husband and I were together (now this is going back some 7 years), we were both still in school and dating long distance. My hubby (then bf) sent me a cute care package with a box of quality street chocolates (I used to love quality street growing up - but you can't find them as easily here) which he hunted high and low for, and a card with a picture of pink lillies because he was unable to send me real pink lillies. It honestly came out of no where and was truly not expected. He caught me off-guard and I spent the whole day sitting in the lecture hall day-dreaming. Essentially, turning into one of those kids I was kvetching about earlier

So, I am apparently a major hypocrite. Just this weekend I was thinking about how my hubby always put me/us ahead of everything, and rarely, if ever, treats himself to anything. So today when he forwarded a link to this beautiful mahogany foosball table, I bought it for him without a second thought. Made for a lovely surprise Valentine's Day gift

We're moving to our house next weekend (ZOMG!!!), so the foosball table would work perfectly in the basement that we are turning into a complete pub/bar. He has talked about owning a foosball table for years now, so I am happy to have indulged him, even if I did have to turn off the scrooge radar for the day.

 

[Skippy123]

Well we usually don't get each other gifts. His birthday was last week so I got him presents last week. Well I was at Costco and they had the leather wallets on sale so I bought him one. I told him never to buy me flowers on Valentine's (he did it one year and I just about died when I saw how much he spent) so he probably will get me chocolates. Also, every year without fail he makes me a super cute heart shaped pizza for me. Yesterday we bbq's some chicken and burgers and we still have left overs so I guess I am breaking tradition by taking a rain check on the pizza for Vday. Hope everyone has a nice VDAY!

Kama and Gypsy, those a sweet gifts, especially since your guys had been wanting those things!!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Every year is a bit different for us. This year, we're going to have the kids watched overnight and go out for drinks, dinner, movie, etc. Other years we have given each other stuff but since it's rare that we get to go to a movie on our own, so I'd rather enjoy that luxury. (We're going out next weekend!)

My kids, on the other hand, managed to bank on V-day. Not sure what the deal is. I decided to keep it simple and get them each a small box of godiva chocolates, but yet, from others they got REAL presents ($120+).

 

[tigian]

I got my DH a card and hockey tickets for a game in march that we will attend together. I'm guessing he will have a small gift for me when I get home tonight. Oh, I got the dogs a special steak dinner...just an excuse to spoil them.

 

[diamondringlover]

OK so I did get my flowers, I got a card and a dozen white roses and a sick kid, lol, we were going to go out but since our son is sick we had chinese food at home

 

[nicolita]

We never really do much for Valentine's Day. I get a kick out of peoples' reactions when I tell them that. "What?!"

Sometimes we will exchange cards but neither of us would be hurt if the other didn't get a card. We both actually prefer to make and receive cards or love notes made by the one another.

Today he drew me a picture of a turtle with hearts on its back that said, "I'm sending this turtle with love from me on his back, but he's going to have to make about a billion trips to bring it all to you!" Way better than overpriced roses, a $6 Hallmark card, or an expensive, crowded dinner out on the town.

 

[iLander]

Holiday? Yeah!!!

I don't care what it is, I'll celebrate pretty much anything: Baltic Pride Week, National Take Your Dog to Work Day, Thomas Edison's Birthday, I don't care.

My DH and I took one of those magazine quizzes, "how well do you know your husband"-type things, and after 27 years of marriage I found out his favorite food are California navel oranges.

Go figure.

So guess what he got a crate of?