do you and your spouse have separate accounts like.....

[pqcollectibles]

I have his name. That was never a question.

When we were first married every thing was joint. When you don''t have anything, joint nothing sounds better!!

After we got to where we could afford more outa life, I branched off and opened a checking account as a rainy day fund. We''ve also been corporate gypsies and learned the laws vary from state to state. So now we have OURS, his, and mine. The bulk of our assets and cash are OURS, but this way nobody gets stuck,...........just in case. Also for me, I haven''t worked outside the home for several years. This has been a way for me to maintain my own financial identity. My Mom had no credit history of her own when Dad died. Everything had been joint with Dad as the principal. She couldn''t even get a store CC with Sears for a long time.

 

[cflutist]

Kept my previously married name because I have been using it professionally for most of my adult life. Websailor is fine with it.

Websailor and I each had our separate accounts before we married. We still have all of those accounts, but have opened up new joint accounts for assets we have accumulated since our marriage.

 

[Hest88]

When we first discussed it, it was going to be separate accounts with one joint. It was how I had it with my first husband. Then, I said "to heck with it" and suggested we just throw caution to the wind and do joint accounts completely. For me it was a leap of faith that this marriage was going to work out the way my first marriage didn''t.

It''s worked out great for us, because we both have similar ideas about money and really don''t think of the entire pool as "our" money.

BTW, I changed my name, but it could have easily gone the other way and he wouldn''t have cared. Another one of my leaps of faith.

 

[Libster]

Forgot to answer my own question. I kept my maiden name. I''m an only child and my father was an only child and I felt like I was the last one of the line and just couldn''t change it. My hubby didn''t have a problem with it, and totally understood my bizarre reasoning. If we had decided to have children I would have changed it. It''s quite funny when we travel and if I''ve made the hotel reservation, the hotel staff will refer to my husband as "Mr. My last name" and he just rolls his eyes as I smile and silently chuckle

 

[yellowfan]

Mostly joint bank accts, some are separate even though not intentionally, one of us wasn''t able to be there when it was opened, etc. My DH had to close his separate accts since he was not keeping up with them properly and I was sick of balancing it out. Im the one for the entire relationship that does all the book keeping, bill paying, etc. I do all necessary appts for DD and shopping for clothing, etc. Most every bill, etc is in my name on this house and the last one. My DH can''t be trusted to pay on time for his lack of organization. His mom or sisters kept up with his things during high school and college, when he had his first jobs. To be quite frank, I think he may have adult attention deficit. He has a hard time even keeping appts or being on time, which we will argue about. I hate to miss appts or to be late. I came from a more strict background and I guess thats why I am the way I am. Now I just need help on DD turning 13!!!!!!! The teenage years are beginning and im already drained!


Lori-yellow

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Am taking his name AND keeping my maiden as my middle name (but haven''t gotten around to changing it legally) and we have joint checking and savings. We each have a separate mad money account, and our TSP, IRA, etc. is separate but with the other as the beneficiary.

 

[fire&ice]

Oh forgot - when I changed my name legally I did the First, Maiden, Hubby thing. I always used my maiden as my middle.

 

[pearcrazy]

DH and I share a checking and savings account. Share credit card account. Both names on both cars and homes. Same last name. He has a couple of retirement accounts as do I. A custodial account for our son with his name on it that gets drafted out of our checking account. I know EXACTLY how much he makes, he knows EXACTLY how much I make. I got tired of having to balance two checkbooks about 8 years ago. His bank pissed us off and that was a good time and excuse to join everything in one pot. I got tired of having to pay his credit card bill and mine from two separate accounts so we pooled it into one account that earns credit card miles. It''s much easier for us to keep up with what''s coming in and what''s going out that way.

 

[snlee]

Interesting thread.

Question about last names being different. If you have kids do the kids take on the father''s last name or mother''s? Does it matter? And if you were the only one with a different last name would you feel awkward/left out?

When I get married I plan to have some shared and some separate accounts. Shared will be used for household expenses and kids, etc. I think it''s good to have your own funds so you don''t have to always have to ask to buy stuff you want.

My honey and I have shared a CC for over a year now. We pay for whatever is ours when the bill comes. We also do have separate CC''s. I''ve heard it''s good to keep your own CC''s so you build up your own credit. How does sharing a CC work? My name was added as a user. This CC comes up on my credit reports. I think I''m still building credit with this CC. Am I wrong?

 

[mrssalvo]

Hubby and I have the same last name. We also have joint accounts. I too have a secret stash that he know''s about and recently put it in a money market account..might as well earn some interest...

 

[codex57]

Date: 2/24/2005 12:35:24 PM
Author: moremoremore
Codex- he knows all of my passwords..I''m too lazy to write down his...He''ll call me and inquire what I spent 20 bucks on at CVS LOL...and I''ll tell him to mind his own bee''s wax...And can I tell you, honest to g*d, I don''t know my exact salary either...or his! LOL...

Haha, my g/f does the same to me. But it''s cuz most of our credit cards are joint so she sees teh statements. Still, if I want to surprise her, I''ll use this one credit card I have that''s still in my name only so she won''t accidentally stumble upon it while checking our accunts. Still, it''s kinda unnerving when I hear, "Honey, what is this you bought?!?!" even though I never buy anything major without consulting her first and the thing usually turns out to be a restaurant that showed up as a different name on the statement.

 

[hoorray]

For the first 16 years of our marriage, we kept our $$ seperate -- checking, savings, investment, retirement, etc. We split the bills equitably, and put each other on all the accounts as co-signers just "in case" but managed our money completely separately except for big things like house purchases. We retired 3 years ago, and "gulp" mushed everything together. We make much better financial decisions than we did with the seperate management, but it's not always as much fun. I have my own checking acount, but he knows its there, and how much is in it. No sneaking out much for babbles.

.

I took his name and kept my maiden as my middle. (My parents had 3 girls, and they didn't give us middle names, assuming we'd get married and keep our maiden for middle. Really ticked off us girls as we tried to be independent grown ups!)

 

[Dancing Fire]

i got my daughter a cc under my account when she started college last yrs,she use it to purchase books for class plus, i wanted her to start building her own credit history for future use.now she gets all kinds of pre-approved cc offers.

 

[Patty]

Date: 2/24/2005 8:44:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i got my daughter a cc under my account when she started college last yrs,she use it to purchase books for class plus, i wanted her to start building her own credit history for future use.now she gets all kinds of pre-approved cc offers.

DF, if her card is under your account does she build her own credit history or does it just go onto yours?

Our younger daughter is in her third year of college and she desperately wants a cc. We have said no up till this point b/c she''s dangerous with money. She has the "I''ll worry about that later" mentality when it comes to instant gratification. But I think we may have to let her learn how to handle one before too much longer.

 

[Jennifer5973]

Joint everything. We started out together with nothing and had to pool pennies to survive. I do have my own retirment fund and savings account now, though.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/24/2005 9:11:16 PM
Author: Patty

Date: 2/24/2005 8:44:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i got my daughter a cc under my account when she started college last yrs,she use it to purchase books for class plus, i wanted her to start building her own credit history for future use.now she gets all kinds of pre-approved cc offers.

DF, if her card is under your account does she build her own credit history or does it just go onto yours?

Our younger daughter is in her third year of college and she desperately wants a cc. We have said no up till this point b/c she''s dangerous with money. She has the ''I''ll worry about that later'' mentality when it comes to instant gratification. But I think we may have to let her learn how to handle one before too much longer.

Patty
what we did was request a cc under our daughter''s name with a lower limit than ours,in our case we ask for a $2000 limit on her card (guess who''s paying her cc bill

) even though my card has a higher limit,so it''s up to you for setting her limit.i know she has her own credit history because,now she gets all these pre-approved cc offers under her OWN name.

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 2/24/2005 9:11:16 PM
Author: Patty

Date: 2/24/2005 8:44:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i got my daughter a cc under my account when she started college last yrs,she use it to purchase books for class plus, i wanted her to start building her own credit history for future use.now she gets all kinds of pre-approved cc offers.

DF, if her card is under your account does she build her own credit history or does it just go onto yours?

Our younger daughter is in her third year of college and she desperately wants a cc. We have said no up till this point b/c she''s dangerous with money. She has the ''I''ll worry about that later'' mentality when it comes to instant gratification. But I think we may have to let her learn how to handle one before too much longer.

Get her one, but with very small limits. I think it does make a difference in her credit even if it''s under your account.

My mom added me to all of her CC during my senior year in high school. (Visa, Discover, Amex) I wouldn''t recommend it for everyone tho... some of my friends still carry over 10K in debt accumulated over college. All junk. I was a penny pincher and never wanted to buy anything, but mom wanted me to have it in case of emergencies.

When I went away for college, I got my own cards, but never really used it because it didn''t get me very much cash/incentives. We calculated my spendings on books, food, and tuition, and found that she would get much more cash back than I would, so we usually used hers. I was surprised at how high my credit score was when I graduated from college. Dunno it if made a difference, but the cards are paid off in full each month. My student loan was paid off in 6 months. My family didn''t believe in debt... we''d rather go without than owe money!

 

[Dancing Fire]

ForteKitty

you''re a typical chinese we don''t believe in debt. i do carry about 9k of cc debt because of the 0% APR offer,i still pay more than the minimum requirement each month.

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 2/25/2005 12

2

8 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
ForteKitty

you''re a typical chinese we don''t believe in debt. i do carry about 9k of cc debt because of the 0% APR offer,i still pay more than the minimum requirement each month.

True. my friends thought I was crazy when I told them I''m buying my car with cash. (after charging as much of it as I possibly could so I can get cash back, of course!)

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/24/2005 9:11:54 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
Joint everything. We started out together with nothing and had to pool pennies to survive. I do have my own retirment fund and savings account now, though.

Jenn
from rags to riches.

 

[Colored Gemstone Nut]

Date: 2/24/2005 6

0:24 PM
Author: mrssalvo
Hubby and I have the same last name. We also have joint accounts. I too have a secret stash that he know''s about and recently put it in a money market account..might as well earn some interest...

mrssalvo:

Just wanted to tell you your dog is sooooo cute..

 

[websailor]

Date: 2/24/2005 2

9

5 PM
Author: cflutist
Kept my previously married name because I have been using it professionally for most of my adult life. Websailor is fine with it.


Websailor and I each had our separate accounts before we married. We still have all of those accounts, but have opened up new joint accounts for assets we have accumulated since our marriage.

Yup, we''re diversified! LOL

Cflutist keeps an eagle on on the accounts. I''ve gotten calls asking if I just bought gas at Costco even before I get out of their parking lot!

We both know each other''s salaries and take home, and we talk about what to do with anything unusual (bonuses, etc). Nowadays it''s usually half goes to some investment type thing and half goes for some fun type thing.

Cflutist does have a not-secret stash that she likes to keep, and since it makes her more comfortable to have it, I only tease her a bit about it. Oh and I kid her that if we got desperate she has a substantial stash on her fingers and wrist that we could always sell.

Of course before I say that one I check to make sure I''m out of fingernail slashing range!

We do have different approaches to money management - but it''s long-term vs short-term, so it does balance out... She will tell me of all the worries we have this month because we have to pay taxes, an extra mortgage payment, a cruise, and so out account is going to drop down (say $10,000). I''ll ask back - is there more in the account than last year after all those things? If the answer is yup (and it almost always is), then she gets a "It''s okay, don''t worry" back from me. If she''s really worried, I''ll try to get her to see that we have more than enough with whatever we''ve tucked away in the past few months.

The only debt that we have is a mortgage....everything else we just pay cash for. If we want something, we save up for it.

It hasn''t always been that way - when we first met, there was very little cash left after paying bills on both our parts. I guess you''d have to say that we work hard for our money.....

 

[Patty]

Well, our younger is old enough to learn how to manage her own money. She gets lots of cc solitcitations in the mail even though she has no credit rating yet.

It''s funny...I''ve been telling our girls since they were little how bad credit card debt is. They know that if we charge something, we pay it off every month. When our older daughter first got her own card, she called us once to see if she could borrow money to pay off her debt. I said, "Why borrow from us? Why not just pay it off when you can?" And she said, "But then I''ll have to pay interest!"

The message she learned was that INTEREST was bad, not that DEBT is bad.

 

[hoorray]

That''s a great lesson Patty. There are too many people today that get sucked into credit card debit early, and then it is really hard to get out. Too many get strapped with debt before they have eve really learned about what it means to their financial life. I think I must have a chinese gene, because I really don''t believe in debt unless it is well managed and for a reason (like leverage) that makes sense in the bigger picture.

 

[tanuki]

I changed my name when we got married. We both were in our thirties and forties when we got married and had all our accounts established for years before so we didn''t see the need to merge our finances. Which worked out well for us.

My husband was on the road a lot. Bills have to be paid pretty quickly nowadays to avoid late fees so I would cover them as they came in from my checking account (except for his credit cards). Then I would run a report at the end of the month from Quicken and he would run his report from his Quicken on what he paid and we would settle up what we owed to each other. This sounds complicated but with computers and a spreadsheet it can be done in half an hour.

We decided what percent each of us would owe on the monthly settle up by looking at the percentage of the total household income that each of us provided. Our incomes were within 10% of each other. It was what I called the "virtual joint checking account"

Thank God it was only "virtual"

The separate account thing was a real life saver a few years ago when he got into problems in his business and had to file bankruptcy.

He got emotionally involved in the business as it started to get into trouble and although he knew he wasn''t supposed to (and had the business as a corporation), he guaranteed some of the leases for the business with his name which made him personally financially liable.
It was a mistake. With all the jobs depending on him he sort of lost his perspective and felt he had to do anything to keep the business alive. The economy after Sept 11 meant the cash flow to pay the leases wasn''t there anymore and the whole thing just went under.

I don''t know what would have happened if we had joint accounts. Probably I would have lost the money in any shared accounts in the bankrupcty too but the separate assets kept me out of it. Every time I think of how much that saved and it was just sort of accidental that we never merged our assets I just have to thank the Lord.

Don''t put more in a joint account than you would feel comfortable losing.

I have heard some divorce stories about this too. People who you would never suspect would do that to their spouse.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 2/26/2005 1:10:26 AM
Author: lop
I think I must have a chinese gene, because I really don''t believe in debt unless it is well managed and for a reason (like leverage) that makes sense in the bigger picture.

Me too! No debt unless the numbers work in your favor. Though I am inclined to believe in using other people''s money if I can make money doing so.

I use the credit card to pay for most items for two reasons - 1. I''m a point pig 2. Extra security with purchases. But, I pay it off each month. I think credit card debt is a scorge on earth. It''s fiscal ruin in my opinion. At least when you pay cash, you have the cash in hand.

0% - on credit cards - haven''t seen that deal unless you transfer balances. Don''t want to do that because of my points.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 2/25/2005 4:21:46 AM
Author: Colored Gemstone Nut

Date: 2/24/2005 6

0:24 PM

Author: mrssalvo

Hubby and I have the same last name. We also have joint accounts. I too have a secret stash that he know''s about and recently put it in a money market account..might as well earn some interest...

mrssalvo:


Just wanted to tell you your dog is sooooo cute..

Thanks Josh, she is sooo spoiled, thinks she''s a human and we LOVE her. She is the sweetest thing ever. She somehow manages to sit still while my toddlers climb all over her.

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 2/25/2005 2:44:20 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/24/2005 9:11:54 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
Joint everything. We started out together with nothing and had to pool pennies to survive. I do have my own retirment fund and savings account now, though.

Jenn
from rags to riches.

Not that dramatic, DF! We always had food, a warm, safe apartment, safe cars and decent clothes...but in the beginning, we''d have about $10 left in the bank every month and no savings/buffer. We''ve come a long way, baby.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 2/26/2005 12:16:36 PM
Author: fire&ice


0% - on credit cards - haven't seen that deal unless you transfer balances. Don't want to do that because of my points.

I've seen 0% on purchases. In fact, I have a cc that's 0% for one year on both purchases and balance transfers. It's from Bank of America.

Oh, and I took my husband's last name. My maiden name is german, weird, and hard to pronounce and my husband's name is norwegian, easy, and normal. But, now I want a new last name as having a normal name is kind of boring

lol!

 

[WTNLVR]

We have his, hers and joint accounts. Makes record keeping a pain but it''s fair and no fighting needed when spending my own money on my precious baubles