Do you adjust what jewelry you wear...

[acaw2015]

I can totally relate to the op and comments in this thread. I posted a thread on a similar topic not that long ago about the "right" size for solitaire stud earrings. I wanted to buy 1 ctw studs but felt bad because 0.5 ct is considered huge for an ER where I live...

My SIL got engaged this summer and chose a 0.2 ct solitaire (if I remember the size correctly) because she "felt uncomfortable" wearing a larger size diamond. She told this to me while I was wearing my 1 ct solitaire+other diamond jewelry. I think my ctw that day was closer to 3 ctw. I only responded, congratulations, I think it looks lovely. And she truly is a nice person. I simply think she hadnt noticed what I was wearing and didnt realize her comments were a bit hurtful. My hubby was quick in remarking to her the size of my solitaire and that I apparently can "handle the size" and she seemed completely in awe like she had never noticed my ring, although I have had it for years... at this point I dont know who felt the most bad, but I like to think we were even...

We recently got a large sum of money from my in laws to buy our new house... and now I feel totally uncomfortable buying diamonds because I dont want to seem to them like we are spending money on "unnecessary" items. We have already bought the house and we have no issues buying anything, it is just that nasty feeling. Luckily I have the best supporting husband, he thinks you only live once and *if* I feel bad I can simply just avoid wearing the new studs around the inlaws until some time has passed. He also said they probably 1. wont notice (I already wear studs), 2. wouldnt care. So we bought the studs..!

I guess I have no advice to give here. Simply that you are not alone in feeling this way. I think it all has to do with being a social creature, wanting to fit in to a specific social context. I tend to avoid wearing too much jewelry in some contexts just as how I choose to wear appropriate clothes. I do however wear whatever I like when seeing my best friends or people I know share my interests. I am lucky to have a hubby who thinks it is good to have a hobby in life and if that happens to be diamonds that is ok. My mother also loves my jewelry and discussing diamonds...

 

[missy]

some of these answers are sad

just for the record i have always had low laying jobs and have never lived in a 'nice' part of town

i have never begrudged anybody anything because they could afford to do more than me

and i can tell you its hard supporting a Bruce Springsteen habbit when i live at the bottom of the world living on the fumes off an oily rag and i would be lying if i didn't occasionally get a little jelouse of my friends who can go to multiple dates on a tour when i can't just hop on a plane and go stay in a fancy hotel but i have zero right to let that bear on their enjoyment and quite frankly IMHO neither do your family, friends or workmates with regard to anyone wearing jewlery

and im not talking about not wearing diamonds to a soup kitchen

this is about being yourselves and your friends and family accepting you as you accept them

i really hate overly judgemental types
we all need to get more friends like @missy has

i get so much enjoyment looking at all your beautuful jewlery no matter the size or expensive

Yes I agree, everyone should have loving and non judgmental friends. Life is hard why make it harder? It is up to you though if you kwim. It doesn't just happen by accident. I deliberately choose to surround myself with warm and loving and kind people and distance myself from the people who aren't so nice. Being nice (and being kind) gets a bad rap IMO and I know I refuse to be around people who are not nice and kind. It was a hard learned lesson to some degree but a very well learned one by me and I am definitely reaping the benefits IRL being around wonderful people. And I have to say I have met and become friends with some wonderful PSers too. Very grateful to PS for that. And yes I have met a couple (exactly 2) of "fake" friends here (people I thought were super nice but turned out to not be) but it's all part of the process. PS has given me a wonderful gift meeting some amazing women I am honored and privileged to call my friends.

Sorry for the thread jack @Mamabean but you are one of the women I am honored and privileged to call my friend and if everyone had friends like you the world would be a better place.

End of Threadjack.

 

[OoohShiny]

I look forward to the day that Star Trek happens and we have no need for money - although I'm sure judge-y people will continue to be judge-y about something else... lol

If I ever manage to sort out a ring of bling for myself (come on, lottery, I only need enough for a 2ct Yoram asscher and a 2ct Octavia... ), I am sure I will get judged for being a man wearing diamonds!

 

[MamaBee]

Yes I agree, everyone should have loving and non judgmental friends. Life is hard why make it harder? It is up to you though if you kwim. It doesn't just happen by accident. I deliberately choose to surround myself with warm and loving and kind people and distance myself from the people who aren't so nice. Being nice (and being kind) gets a bad rap IMO and I know I refuse to be around people who are not nice and kind. It was a hard learned lesson to some degree but a very well learned one by me and I am definitely reaping the benefits IRL being around wonderful people. And I have to say I have met and become friends with some wonderful PSers too. Very grateful to PS for that. And yes I have met a couple (exactly 2) of "fake" friends here (people I thought were super nice but turned out to not be) but it's all part of the process. PS has given me a wonderful gift meeting some amazing women I am honored and privileged to call my friends.

Sorry for the thread jack @Mamabean but you are one of the women I am honored and privileged to call my friend and if everyone had friends like you the world would be a better place.

End of Threadjack.

Thank you @missy! I feel the same way about you! xxxxooo
My one friend is the only one out of the three that’s very opinionated. She does try to tamp it down..but she can’t help herself. She really is a nice person otherwise...

 

[MamaBee]

I look forward to the day that Star Trek happens and we have no need for money - although I'm sure judge-y people will continue to be judge-y about something else... lol

If I ever manage to sort out a ring of bling for myself (come on, lottery, I only need enough for a 2ct Yoram asscher and a 2ct Octavia... ), I am sure I will get judged for being a man wearing diamonds!

Not with us @OoohShiny!

 

[missy]

I look forward to the day that Star Trek happens and we have no need for money - although I'm sure judge-y people will continue to be judge-y about something else... lol

If I ever manage to sort out a ring of bling for myself (come on, lottery, I only need enough for a 2ct Yoram asscher and a 2ct Octavia... ), I am sure I will get judged for being a man wearing diamonds!

Well, if by thinking you are awesome for wearing (beautiful) diamonds is judging you then yes I am judging you. Thinking you are freaking amazing for wearing what you want and wearing it proudly. And I am drooling at the thought of a 2 carat Yoram asscher and a 2 ct Octavia. Bring it on.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I look forward to the day that Star Trek happens and we have no need for money - although I'm sure judge-y people will continue to be judge-y about something else... lol

If I ever manage to sort out a ring of bling for myself (come on, lottery, I only need enough for a 2ct Yoram asscher and a 2ct Octavia... ), I am sure I will get judged for being a man wearing diamonds!

we are watching Voyager on Netflix at the moment
Tuvok seems a tad judgemental in that very Vulcan way

add me to the list who would love you to get that big diamond one day

 

[TooPatient]

I used to adjust. Now, except certain volunteer occasions, I wear what I feel like. (Although nothing I have begins to compare with the amazing pieces of many here!)
We live in a small city that was just named the wealthiest in the country. People make assumptions based on us living here no matter what I am wearing. Estimates for work, price negotiations, etc are all horrible as soon as the zip code is known.
Friends are all far more financially comfortable than we are. My jewelry is small compared to most of the people in our one group and the other group has $$$ airplane expenses.

Family is the tough one. Most of my family has little interest in jewelry and doesn't notice what I wear. The few people who do notice are judgemental and unkind over whatever catches their attention. One person commented on "another new car" when DH and I showed up in our new car. It is irrational and obnoxious, but it does hurt me. I try to ignore it and remind myself how crazy it is. (The new car was to replace the one we had for 5 years and had serious mechanical issues. I got the comment again with our most recent car. Our 3rd car in 15 years. We share one car in the $30,000 price range. The person who commented has no fewer than 4 cars at a time and routinely sells cars they bought new after just a year or two at substantial loss.)

Anyway, I have given up caring and wear whatever I want. I may do differently if there was any less nastiness when I wore less.

 

[MrsBlue]

some of these answers are sad

just for the record i have always had low laying jobs and have never lived in a 'nice' part of town

i have never begrudged anybody anything because they could afford to do more than me

and i can tell you its hard supporting a Bruce Springsteen habbit when i live at the bottom of the world living on the fumes off an oily rag and i would be lying if i didn't occasionally get a little jelouse of my friends who can go to multiple dates on a tour when i can't just hop on a plane and go stay in a fancy hotel but i have zero right to let that bear on their enjoyment and quite frankly IMHO neither do your family, friends or workmates with regard to anyone wearing jewlery

and im not talking about not wearing diamonds to a soup kitchen

this is about being yourselves and your friends and family accepting you as you accept them

i really hate overly judgemental types
we all need to get more friends like @missy has

i get so much enjoyment looking at all your beautuful jewlery no matter the size or expensive

@Daisys and Diamonds I agree with you completely. I love seeing ladies in their beautiful clothes and jewelry and don't feel a whiff of envy. To me it would be like being jealous of flowers for being pretty or something like that.

I have a relatively cheap bracelet that I bought years ago but people go nuts over it so I don't wear it. People who know jewelry would be able to tell that it's no big deal but "civilians" make a fuss. I might wear it tomorrow in honor of @Mamabean and this thread

 

[MamaBee]

@Daisys and Diamonds I agree with you completely. I love seeing ladies in their beautiful clothes and jewelry and don't feel a whiff of envy. To me it would be like being jealous of flowers for being pretty or something like that.

I have a relatively cheap bracelet that I bought years ago but people go nuts over it so I don't wear it. People who know jewelry would be able to tell that it's no big deal but "civilians" make a fuss. I might wear it tomorrow in honor of @Mamabean and this thread

Ooooh...Please @MrsBlue..I would love to see it!

 

[MrsBlue]

@Mamabean here she is!

Years ago I wandered into a Chinatown jewelry store on my birthday "just to look". The sales associate was so sweet and funny and kept saying that we had to find something special for my "sweet 16". Most of the pieces were too big for me (and my pocket) so she asked to see my wrist. When I held it out, she snuck this baby out from under the counter and snapped it onto my wrist. I loved it! I complained and called her sneaky and she just laughed in my face, knowing full well that she had just clinched a sale. We were laughing too hard to haggle seriously but she knocked a few bucks off the price and I walked out with my new pretty.

I cleaned her up and got her ready for tomorrow. I'll let you know if she gets any loud remarks from muggles

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@Mamabean here she is!

Years ago I wandered into a Chinatown jewelry store on my birthday "just to look". The sales associate was so sweet and funny and kept saying that we had to find something special for my "sweet 16". Most of the pieces were too big for me (and my pocket) so she asked to see my wrist. When I held it out, she snuck this baby out from under the counter and snapped it onto my wrist. I loved it! I complained and called her sneaky and she just laughed in my face, knowing full well that she had just clinched a sale. We were laughing too hard to haggle seriously but she knocked a few bucks off the price and I walked out with my new pretty.

I cleaned her up and got her ready for tomorrow. I'll let you know if she gets any loud remarks from muggles

what a find !
well she found you
so pretty

 

[MamaBee]

@Mamabean here she is!

Years ago I wandered into a Chinatown jewelry store on my birthday "just to look". The sales associate was so sweet and funny and kept saying that we had to find something special for my "sweet 16". Most of the pieces were too big for me (and my pocket) so she asked to see my wrist. When I held it out, she snuck this baby out from under the counter and snapped it onto my wrist. I loved it! I complained and called her sneaky and she just laughed in my face, knowing full well that she had just clinched a sale. We were laughing too hard to haggle seriously but she knocked a few bucks off the price and I walked out with my new pretty.

I cleaned her up and got her ready for tomorrow. I'll let you know if she gets any loud remarks from muggles

@MrsBlue She’s very pretty!l Enjoy all the compliments from the people at work! Haha

 

[MMtwo]

@MrsBlue Nah, even by PS standards, that is a lovely and respectable bracelet!

@Mamabean : yeah, I have had some subtle comments. At meetings (nonprofit based) I notice one person, in particular, looking at what I wear. Usually, diamonds, although my diamonds are modest by PS standards, in my community they may be blingy. At the last meeting, I wore turquoise and silver pieces. That person said, "well that look is a departure from your regular, I like it". Uhhh, thanks?

My family gave up on me long ago. I have always loved jewelry and as sparkly as I can afford. We all need hobbies.

My MIL is funny. She not only notices, she "wants one too!". I have a yellow diamond pear pendant and when I showed her, she declared she wants one just like it. She wasn't kidding. I found one a little smaller and I think I insulted her. "Oh, it needs to be as big as yours!". She also bought the same kitchen canister set and quirky salt and pepper grinders. Hubby says I should view it as a compliment. So, with her...less is more

 

[doberman]

I dont really think about my jewelry. I wear whatever matches my outfit and won't get in the way of the activity. The people we see are not really into jewelry at all so it really doesnt matter.

 

[KaeKae]

I adjust a little bit. More to situations or environments than people. Though my pieces tend to be more simple and the largest stone is just over a carat.

 

[MrsBlue]

@moneymeister, @Mamabean, and @Daisys and Diamonds Thanks for the compliments. You are too sweet.

And I'm very glad that everyone is comfortable sharing their pretties here <3