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Do you adjust what jewelry you wear...

Mamabean

Ideal_Rock
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Mar 31, 2018
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5,383
when seeing friends who are not into jewelry? I am meeting friends today for lunch who are not into jewelry. One friend is a minimalist who wears only a gold wedding band 99% of the time. She has a diamond engagement ring but it’s very very small by choice. She doesn’t like frivolous things..She would consider a larger diamond wasteful..She got mad at her daughter-in-law recently for sending two different cards to people for a thank you and a pic of her grandbaby in two different mailings....She was mad because the daughter-in-law would be using two stamps a person! That didn’t go over well with the daughter-in-law! I know I should just wear what I want to wear but I tone down what I wear when I meet these friends. They really are true friends but I feel weird wearing anything too sparkly because it makes me feel awkward. They will never comment on my jewelry...I will catch them staring at my jewelry but look away if I look in their direction. They aren’t hurting for money so it’s not that. If they were I would really remove most jewelry..but this isn’t the case. I would wear Libby because she’s my engagement ring..but she’s getting her spa treatment at David’s right now. Do any of you adjust what you’re wearing..jewelry, purses, etc when meeting different friends? I’m trying to be my “authentic self”..but I find it hard with these friends. They are the best so they aren’t doing or saying anything to me..It’s really just me.
 

Austina

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 24, 2017
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I wouldn’t change what I wear around friends who choose not to have expensive jewellery, but if I felt wearing Bella around friends who couldn’t afford expensive things might make them feel bad, then I might consider not wearing her.

Most of my friends aren’t in to jewellery anyway, so I don’t worry about what I wear.
 

MeowMeow

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 27, 2009
Messages
782
Generally no. I pretty much wear the same jewellery all the time unless it's a black tie event or I am going someplace I think is unsafe.

I'm sure my jewellery gets plenty of judgement because it's not big enough/stylish enough/whatever enough but I refuse to let that get in the way of me wearing and enjoying it.
 

StephanieLynn

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Feb 2, 2016
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4,572
I don't adjust although a couple of members of DH's family take note when I have on something they haven't seen before. It's not in an admirable way either, it definitely comes off as negative. Eh whatever, think I'm a princess all you want, it doesn't faze me.
 

luv2sparkle

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Feb 3, 2008
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7,547
I don't usually. There have been occasions where I try to tone it down for whatever reason. But for me that means maybe not wearing one piece. Everyone has there own things that they love and even if they are minimalist, that is a choice too. I would want anyone else to be who they are too and not change for me.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jan 11, 2006
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55,116
I don't wear a lot of diamond jewelry on a daily basis. I was self-conscious when I first got the 2.3 ct AVR because that was going to be pretty visible. People really didn't comment, though. I think people who aren't into jewelry just don't notice as much. But some might notice and not comment because they think like your friend! I wear the AVR most of the time, and I have never worn my antique asscher ring around extended family. They noticed when I got my first new ring which was going from 1 to 1.6 cts., but I don't think they noticed the 2.3 since they already thought the 1.6 was large (and we don't see them often). They would think I am nuts if they knew the other rings and jewelry that I have. I could obviously upgrade to one large diamond if I wanted. But in my local world, I wouldn't feel comfortable going larger.

I do adjust what I am wearing depending on other circumstances, though. If I am going to go buy a car or another negotiable item, I wear minimal jewelry for obvious reasons. I don't want assumptions made about what I can afford as I want the lowest possible price! I wouldn't wear diamonds when going to volunteer with needy people, for example. I also would be sensitive to friends who have less financially or who are going through difficult times, but I rarely wear several diamond pieces at one time, anyway.
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 21, 2010
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3,861
No, I don't change my jewelry if I am going to be with friends/relatives who are not into jewelry.

I do choose my jewelry based on occasion (social occasional versus a short hike) and on my own comfort/preference (will I be carrying a lot of parcels or visiting people with infants or is it summer and my fingers will swell).
 

bling_dream19

Brilliant_Rock
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Feb 21, 2019
Messages
758
I hear you @Mamabean I actually met a friend this morning and I chose to tone it down. I had been wearing my blingy heart pendant and earrings but changed into circle diamond pendant and princess studs. My friend from this morning wears little jewelry. It also depends on my mood and confidence level. If I feel like wearing a lot of sparkle then I go for it and have the confidence to handle if I get judgement from anyone. I've pretty much made it clear to my sister and 2 best friends to just let me enjoy my jewelry. I dont make comments on the money they spend and I expect the same in return. I agree with @Austina if I was with a friend who couldn't afford much I would wear simple jewelry. It's really interesting you posed tjos question mamabean bc I was just thinking about that this morning. In my head also is the you only live once so go for it and wear your bling anytime YOU want!
 

JPie

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Feb 12, 2018
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@JPie my mom is the same. Except it is not any admiring. Just, oh, another new thing in a disappointed tone. It's easier to just not wear anything near her.
Ugh, that is just unnecessary. I could see why you don’t want to deal with it.
 

stracci2000

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My friends are not judgy, so I wear my bling when out with my friends.
My family members all love jewelry, so at family get togethers we all wear our good pieces and compare notes.
 

stracci2000

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I don't adjust although a couple of members of DH's family take note when I have on something they haven't seen before. It's not in an admirable way either, it definitely comes off as negative. Eh whatever, think I'm a princess all you want, it doesn't faze me.
But you ARE a princess, and they are just jealous!
 

bludiva

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i do change what i wear depending on people if i think it may make them uncomfortable or they may make false assumptions etc, also place, or how dirty i think my hands will get :lol:

i don't see it as inauthentic or limiting, but i also like wearing different things. :)
 

Begonia

Brilliant_Rock
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Feb 2, 2011
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1,364
All. The. Damn. Time.

With family and friends. I get looks and comments, some of them passive aggressive IMO. Mostly side glances. They aren’t into jewellery like I am, but then again I don’t go on trips and eat out like they do. I prioritize differently. Do I adjust what I’m wearing? Most definitely. The company Xmas party I adjust up tho :lol:
 

bling_dream19

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Feb 21, 2019
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Ah maybe I should have a bit of fun at the holidays and wear a tiara @stracci2000!

@bling_dream19, since you can relate, isn't it a bit annoying? Like yeah I got a new ring, here have your sixth glass of wine and leave me alone lol!
@StephanieLynn Ok YES on the tiara! I will be wearing one too in the month of December as I am getting married. But I usually wear one for my November birthday. And of coarse my sister jokingly calls me a princess. My parents give me looks about anything new. I try to only wear jewelry that they've given me so I don't get any comments or looks.
And YES it's annoying! I make no comments or judgements on money they've spent or things they've spent so I really don't understand it. I think because it's a luxury and not a necessity. But for us PS'ers our bling is our necessity! I'm with you gir!
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jul 17, 2008
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10,267
I’m having Thanksgiving dinner with a bunch of granola munchers in Portland Oregon. Most of them have minimize their wardrobe to 7 to 10 items and wear Birkenstocks all the time. None of them wear any jewelry at all. The first time I went they thought I was a diva. This time I’m going to wear a plain gold band, minimal earrings, a small gold bracelet and a small gold necklace.
 

secretagentlaura

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My everyday jewelry is pretty plain (white gold hoop earrings, s/s wristwatch, Cartier Trinity ring that I wear instead of my wedding set), so I feel I can meet any of my friends wearing those. I upgrade to my diamonds and fine jewelry if my friends and I are going someplace where everyone dresses up more.
 

missy

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Jun 8, 2008
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Generally no. My friends love and accept me for who I am and do not judge me based on what I wear. Most of my friends are not into bling so anything I wear is OTT compared to what they wear. I find though that they enjoy my bling and comment positively on my jewelry. As in, oh I love your earrings, they're so pretty. Or, your ring is gorgeous I love seeing it. That kind of thing. Not catty or mean but genuine and complimentary.

If I was volunteering at a soup kitchen I am leaving my bling at home but for a wedding band. Only so I don't rub my jewelery into anyone's face so to speak. There are way more important things in life than bling and I know it. I have no wish to make anyone feel less fortunate by flashing my bling in that kind of situation.

For the most part I wear what I want when I want without concern what others will think. True friends do not judge and those who judge I have no desire for in my life.

judgingmatter.jpg
 

missy

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I’m trying to be my “authentic self”..but I find it hard with these friends. They are the best so they aren’t doing or saying anything to me..It’s really just me.
Joanne, respectfully, if I may share my thoughts with you...you are doing your friends a disservice IMO.
You write they are the best and wouldn't judge you and it is all you. To that I reply yes be your authentic self. It is freeing. Completely and wonderfully freeing. Having said that if you are uncomfortable wearing your bling then I don't encourage you to wear it just because you need to feel good about what you wear and why you are wearing it. But if you can get out of your head for a moment and realize you have every right to enjoy your bling without fear of judgment etc. then I encourage you to enjoy your pieces. But only if wearing it brings you joy. You do you. And I say it from a place of love and I hope you realize that. And do not take offense. (((Hugs))).
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I do adjust what I am wearing depending on other circumstances, though. If I am going to go buy a car or another negotiable item, I wear minimal jewelry for obvious reasons. I don't want assumptions made about what I can afford as I want the lowest possible price! I wouldn't wear diamonds when going to volunteer with needy people, for example. I also would be sensitive to friends who have less financially or who are going through difficult times, but I rarely wear several diamond pieces at one time, anyway.
Excellent point. Yes, in that case I am not going to wear my blingiest pieces. I want the best price on the car of course so will adjust accordingly. And of course as I already wrote re volunteering. But for friends, family and the like? Nope I wear what I want to wear.
 

missy

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In my head also is the you only live once so go for it and wear your bling anytime YOU want!

I will be wearing one too in the month of December as I am getting married. But I usually wear one for my November birthday. And of coarse my sister jokingly calls me a princess.
Exactly. Wear what brings you blissful joy and try not to let others affect your enjoyment of your gorgeous pieces. And yasssss to wearing a tiara if you want. You are a princess and deserve to wear one if you so choose.:halo:
 

stracci2000

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Jun 26, 2007
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Ah maybe I should have a bit of fun at the holidays and wear a tiara @stracci2000!

@bling_dream19, since you can relate, isn't it a bit annoying? Like yeah I got a new ring, here have your sixth glass of wine and leave me alone lol!
I have two tiaras! They are so much fun!
I will send you the bigger one. I wear it around the house sometimes :lol:
Here it is on a local model. DH took the photo.
IMG_20191119_113528.jpg
 

Calliecake

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Jun 7, 2014
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6,772
I wear jewelry around two close friends who also love and wear jewelry. Around others, I wear very little jewelry. It’s kind of dumb on my part because I don’t think most people notice jewelry.

Everyone spends money on things they enjoy. People talk about their vacations and expensive hobbies all the time. I have no idea why jewelry gets a side eye but in my family it does. I’d rather not make any waves and the last thing I want to do is hurt feelings. My family has had a rough couple of years. Honestly jewelry isn’t even very important to me anymore.

Joanne, You are not the only one who feels awkward about wearing what you want to. I feel so bad for your friend’s DIL.

Wow @stracci2000 . Your tiara is beautiful
 
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