Home Do I tell his current FI?

[~*Alexis*~]

I would want to know, thats just me. But have a lawyer do it via certified letter. With my past situation, things may not be ideal with the gf but at least you have piece of mind. Tell you ex that either he tells her or you will. See what he says.

I would also seek a temporary judgement for child placement. A court may give you full custody reguardless of your situation with ex given his previous behavior.

Another thing to consider is that he is financially responsible for half of the medical costs for this baby reguardless if you go after child support.

Good Luck!

 

[MoonWater]

Wow, what a situation. Personally I would want to know and I wouldn''t care who told me. I would want the option of not marrying that guy (although frankly, if he cheated for two years I wouldn''t anyway, but knowing he was trying to conceal a child from me would be worse).

I think if you would like to move foward and be completely done with this man, you should ask him to give up all legal rights to the child. Have a lawyer draft the necessary papers and have him served. Try to do this prior to their wedding so if he refuses to give up his rights, you can tell his fiance'' and not worry about it. If he keeps his rights to your child and marries this woman, she will be partially responsible as a stepmother. She should know this beforehand.

 

[Odilia]

Date: 9/28/2007 1:54:25 AM
Author: withlove
FireGoddess – “...but, I''m just putting this out there.....wouldn''t you guys want to know about this before you got married to the guy?”

This was why I made the original post… I know that it is not my relationship.. and heck at the end of the day it makes no difference to me.. but I know I would want someone to tell me so that I could go into the situation with my eyes wide open and knowledgeable of what I was getting myself into.

That was my first thought: I would definitely want to know if the man I was marrying had a baby out there, especially if I am very likely to learn about it after the wedding. "I know I would want someone to tell me so that I could go into the situation with my eyes wide open and knowledgeable of what I was getting myself into." - most certainly!

 

[Pandora II]

I would definitely, definitely tell the GF.

It''s actually not that difficult to be convinced that your bf wasn''t really seeing someone else, it was only a few drinks, she was after me but I wasn''t interested etc etc especially if you don''t want to see the truth and you have a lot of time and emotion invested in a relationship. Finding out that your bf has got another girl pregnant and she''s keeping the baby is a whole different ball game.

Even more important is that he doesn''t want her to know. The man has no spine at all.

I would then get hi to sign over all custody to you and renounce his rights. You don''t need a man like this in your, or your child''s life.

 

[oshinbreez]

What if (God forbid) somewhere down the road, there are hereditary problems that come from the ex''s side? She''d need to get in touch with him then. How would you feel if you found out after you got married that your husband had a child that he never told you about before you got married? I feel like it would be better to tell her before she marries him so she can go in to the marriage if she still chooses to with eyes wide open. Whether the ex wants anything to do with the baby makes no difference.