DIY Reception Music Questions

[katamari]

FI and I are downright music snobs. Neither of us can tolerate being in places where we don't 100% enjoy the music. For this reason, both of us knew we would have to pass on hiring a band or a DJ for our reception. Instead, we are going to rent a PA and create playlists on a laptop. I know that we can be crowd-pleasing since both of us used to have radio shows in college (ah, college radio) and have made playlists for other parties that went over well. My questions are more about style and theme.

For those of you DIYing music (or having heavy input with your band or DJ), are you trying to theme the music at all, or just playing what you enjoy. As an example, one thing I thought about was using a "Dancing through the Decades" theme where we would play an hour of music from the 60s, an hour from the 70s, etc. Another was to make a musical chronology of our relationship (we have been together for 10 years, so there would be lots of variety).

Also, how are you handling the tempo? I want the reception to be a party and not a Jr. High dance. I am entirely inclined to cut out slow songs completely (or limit them to the first hour or two). I don't see our older guests dancing anyways, but I am wondering if younger couples would actually want to slow dance.

Finally, I am fine with my guests making recommendations (I just want veto power

). We hired an MC, but don't want guests to turn her into a jukebox (or think they can). Is anyone using a poll on their website or a question on the response card about musical requests? If so, do any guests seem to care or participate? Wedding tracker allows this option, but I haven't heard it mentioned much on PS.



Edited to correct a formatting issue.

 

[katamari]

I just reread my post and realized this might be my bridezilla moment. Feel free to call me out, if so.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

haha. You’re not in bridezilla territory yet! Mr. Man is DEFINATELY a music sob and will be having full input with the DJ when making the playlist.

I LOVE the idea of dancing through the decades. It would be fun for all ages and there are some fabulous songs in every decade. I also like the idea that the music would get more up-to-date as the party wears on leaving (mostly) the younger crowd to enjoy the songs they like without alienating the majority of the older guest (who may have mostly cleared out near the end)

I would not cut the slow dances entirely. I''m young and I really enjoy slow dancing plus it''s nice to get a breather in between songs sometimes. But that''s just my take on it.

I understand not wanting your guests to have FULL power in requesting songs that you may not like but it would be nice to add in some songs that they would like. I think you would have more people on the dance floor if you did that. I love the idea of the guests requesting a song on the rsvp card. That way if you ABSOLUTLY hate the song someone writes down you can just not play it!

 

[tlh]

I also agree- married couples like both slow and more upbeat songs. I think like the first 30 minutes is slow and then more upbeat... but I think that it is important that you also try to tone your musical selections to your guests taste. No matter how cute it is for the bride and groom - I always think that when the wedding is mostly family and older, something about "thong song" "back that XXX up" and "baby got back" aren''t the best choices... at least NOT for some of the weddings I''ve been to. Typically when these songs started playing, the older guests would leave... but the younger people don''t necessarily go out to the dance floor to dance.

Most of the younger crew at the weddings I''ve been to, tend to not dance, but hang out at the bar, trying to drink as much free booze as possible. The bride and the groom, well lets face it- i''ve never been to a wedding where the bride and groom weren''t monopolized by guests 98% of the time... in conversation - NOT dancing.

My personal experience, I found when the songs were geared towards "your audience" and not YOU - they would go out and dance... and LEAVE YOU ALONE -- so less awkward, "hi friend of the MIL that I will never see again, please share the story of how my Dh did something 15 years ago, and you don''t really know either of us... awesome... how long will I be stuck talking to you? 15 minutes... sweet...."

So I''d just look at what sort of wedding you are having, who is going to be making up your guests, and go from there. Just my .02.

 

[tropiqalkiwi]

We decided to go the same route as you musically (renting a sound system) and will probably just use an ipod with a pre-made playlist. We are doing this because we want a very specific style and tone to the evening. It will be pretty much exclusively older music, swing/big band/bing crosby type of stuff, I want to have a ''ball'' atmosphere instead of a ''club''.

This doesn''t sound like the feel you are wanting, but it might be nice to pick some sort of theme to the music, through the decades sounds fun. I personally would not limit the music to a single decade, but if that has meaning for you and your FI it could be a nice touch. Think about the feel of the whole evening and whatever other style choices you have made - what kind of music would fit nicely with those choices? Or do you want a total change in feeling when the music (aka PARTY!) portion of the night starts?

As for letting your guests request songs - go for it. You can put it on the reply card/website, but if you want it to be more interactive on the wedding day, maybe put a note on the tables letting people know how they can make requests - or even have pre-made form on slips of paper that can be handed to the MC.

 

[katamari]

Date: 3/30/2009 12:48:15 PM
Author: Kayakqueen83
haha. You’re not in bridezilla territory yet! Mr. Man is DEFINATELY a music sob and will be having full input with the DJ when making the playlist.


I LOVE the idea of dancing through the decades. It would be fun for all ages and there are some fabulous songs in every decade. I also like the idea that the music would get more up-to-date as the party wears on leaving (mostly) the younger crowd to enjoy the songs they like without alienating the majority of the older guest (who may have mostly cleared out near the end)


I would not cut the slow dances entirely. I''m young and I really enjoy slow dancing plus it''s nice to get a breather in between songs sometimes. But that''s just my take on it.


I understand not wanting your guests to have FULL power in requesting songs that you may not like but it would be nice to add in some songs that they would like. I think you would have more people on the dance floor if you did that. I love the idea of the guests requesting a song on the rsvp card. That way if you ABSOLUTLY hate the song someone writes down you can just not play it!

I hadn''t even thought about how the decades theme would play into the whole age structure of the event!

I am liking this idea more!

 

[katamari]

Date: 3/30/2009 12:57:37 PM
Author: tlh
I also agree- married couples like both slow and more upbeat songs. I think like the first 30 minutes is slow and then more upbeat... but I think that it is important that you also try to tone your musical selections to your guests taste. No matter how cute it is for the bride and groom - I always think that when the wedding is mostly family and older, something about ''thong song'' ''back that XXX up'' and ''baby got back'' aren''t the best choices... at least NOT for some of the weddings I''ve been to. Typically when these songs started playing, the older guests would leave... but the younger people don''t necessarily go out to the dance floor to dance.


Most of the younger crew at the weddings I''ve been to, tend to not dance, but hang out at the bar, trying to drink as much free booze as possible. The bride and the groom, well lets face it- i''ve never been to a wedding where the bride and groom weren''t monopolized by guests 98% of the time... in conversation - NOT dancing.


My personal experience, I found when the songs were geared towards ''your audience'' and not YOU - they would go out and dance... and LEAVE YOU ALONE -- so less awkward, ''hi friend of the MIL that I will never see again, please share the story of how my Dh did something 15 years ago, and you don''t really know either of us... awesome... how long will I be stuck talking to you? 15 minutes... sweet....''


So I''d just look at what sort of wedding you are having, who is going to be making up your guests, and go from there. Just my .02.

Funny you should mention the, um, let''s call them explicit songs. That is partially what I am trying to avoid. I don''t listen to music that hypersexualizes individuals and would be horrified if this was played -- and, sadly, this does happen all too often at weddings. I definitely want a party, but I don''t want a club. If that makes sense.

I also completely agree with you about playing to the audience. I don''t want to turn this into a "let''s listen to all my favorite songs" scenario (it would probably make guests leave, not just disengage). I am more thinking, people like to dance to "Superstition" and people like to dance to "Dancing Queen". Since I generally want to vomit when I hear ABBA, but love Stevie Wonder, we would go with Superstition. Does that make sense?

 

[katamari]

Date: 3/30/2009 12:58:56 PM
Author: tropiqalkiwi
We decided to go the same route as you musically (renting a sound system) and will probably just use an ipod with a pre-made playlist. We are doing this because we want a very specific style and tone to the evening. It will be pretty much exclusively older music, swing/big band/bing crosby type of stuff, I want to have a ''ball'' atmosphere instead of a ''club''.


This doesn''t sound like the feel you are wanting, but it might be nice to pick some sort of theme to the music, through the decades sounds fun. I personally would not limit the music to a single decade, but if that has meaning for you and your FI it could be a nice touch. Think about the feel of the whole evening and whatever other style choices you have made - what kind of music would fit nicely with those choices? Or do you want a total change in feeling when the music (aka PARTY!) portion of the night starts?


As for letting your guests request songs - go for it. You can put it on the reply card/website, but if you want it to be more interactive on the wedding day, maybe put a note on the tables letting people know how they can make requests - or even have pre-made form on slips of paper that can be handed to the MC.

Ooh, a wedding "ball" sounds divine. What a great idea!

I do need to think more about transitions. That is a really good point. I don''t want to rush through dinner and had thought about playing more relaxed music during the dinner. But, it would be good to make a more distinct transition.

Plus, I suppose the "permitted" music would be what is already on the computer since I don''t have all the Y.M.C.A. stuff or anything that could be line-danced to. That way the guests could make requests to the MC with us still getting our veto power.

 

[rhbgirl24]

We are actually doing the same thing. My guy is soooooooooooooo into music that he is controlling the play list completely (with my input, of course

). So we have a DJ and his equiptment, but he will be playing solely the lineup of what my fiance has put together. We are asking in advance songs that people like - that still fit into the genre - and some will be included.

Its going to be all hard rock - there will be some more upbeat songs to dance to, like maybe some Bon Jovi, but as the night goes on it will get harder - leading into the last hour of my fiance''s all fave music, so metallica, sevendust, mudvayne...........

So we aren''t too worried about tempo either. We will only have a few songs that people will be able to dance to, and when things get harder late in the night, there is a "lounge area" set up in the adjoining room just in case the grandparents can''t take it. lol

 

[Elmorton]

I didn't read the additional posts, so forgive me if I repeat anything - we DIYed our music (which I'm going to go out on a biased limb and say our music was the best of any wedding I've ever been to ) -

1st dancing songs were big band/swing - I figured if I was ever going to see the Gparents dance, that would be it. They didn't, but our "older guests" got into it

For the rest of the first hour, it was the stuff people knew - a bunch of 60s-70s-80s classics. DH didn't want the electric slide, but our dance floor was seriously PACKED for it, so I'm glad we threw that in.

Second hour was basically our tribute to songs that reminded us of awesome times with our gang of friends - mostly stuff from the mid 90's (NKOTB to OMC), with some other random stuff peppered in.

Third hour was my DH's - at this point, I figured our parents' friends would be leaving (I was right) and so he played Warren G, Snoop, etc.

There were a ton of songs that DH and I both wanted but weren't really dancing songs - we played all of those for our cocktail hour. Dinner music was all jazz.

 

[tlh]

Date: 4/2/2009 2:05:31 AM
Author: katamari



Funny you should mention the, um, let''s call them explicit songs. That is partially what I am trying to avoid. I don''t listen to music that hypersexualizes individuals and would be horrified if this was played -- and, sadly, this does happen all too often at weddings. I definitely want a party, but I don''t want a club. If that makes sense.

I also completely agree with you about playing to the audience. I don''t want to turn this into a ''let''s listen to all my favorite songs'' scenario (it would probably make guests leave, not just disengage). I am more thinking, people like to dance to ''Superstition'' and people like to dance to ''Dancing Queen''. Since I generally want to vomit when I hear ABBA, but love Stevie Wonder, we would go with Superstition. Does that make sense?

YES! I love me some stevie and abba! I''d stick to the classics... here''s a list of songs I like! please don''t make fun of me...

9. Bennie And The Jets, Elton John
22. Band On The Run, Paul McCartney and Wings
40. The Joker, Steve Miller Band
64. Radar Love, Golden Earring
76. I Shot The Sherrif, Eric Clapton
1. Love Will Keep Us Together, The Captain and Tennille
14. Kung Fu Fighting, Carl Douglas
33. Sister Golden Hair, America
48. You''re The First, The Last, My Everthing, Barry White
64. Get Down Tonight, K.C. and The Sunshine Band
74. Some Kind Of Wonderful, Grand Funk
4. December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night), Four Seasons
5. Play That Funky Music, Wild Cherry
12. Afternoon Delight, Starland Vocal Band
17. More, More, More, Andrea True Connection
18. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
22. You Sexy Thing, Hot Chocolate
45. That''s The Way I Like It, K.C. and The Sunshine Band
60. Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel, Tavares
89. Baby, I Love Your Way, Peter Frampton
96. Rock And Roll All Nite, Kiss
97. The Boys Are Back In Town, Thin Lizzy
3. Best Of My Love, Emotions
7. Don''t Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston
11. I''m Your Boogie Man, K.C. and The Sunshine Band
33. Easy, Commodores
37. Looks Like We Made It, Barry Manilow
55. Night Moves, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
56. You''re My World, Helen Reddy
68. Cold As Ice, Foreigner
75. Keep It Comin'' Love, K.C. and The Sunshine Band
81. The Rubberband Man, Spinners
83. Nobody Does It Better, Carly Simon
96. Don''t Worry Baby, B.J. Thomas
2. Night Fever, Bee Gees
4. Stayin'' Alive, Bee Gees
6. How Deep Is Your Love, Bee Gees
7. Baby Come Back, Player
10. Three Times A Lady, Commodores
19. If I Can''t Have You, Yvonne Elliman
36. Hot Blooded, Foreigner
74. Copacabana, Barry Manilow
82. Running On Empty, Jackson Browne
88. I Love The Night Life, Alicia Bridges
1. My Sharona, The Knack
2. Bad Girls, Donna Summer
4. Da Ya Think I''m Sexy, Rod Stewart
5. Reunited, Peaches and Herb
6. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
7. Hot Stuff, Donna Summer
22. Knock On Wood, Amii Stewart
34. I Want You To Want Me, Cheap Trick
53. We Are Family, Sister Sledge
57. Boogie Wonderland, Earth, Wind and Fire
88. Double Vision, Foreigner
94. We''ve Got Tonite, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
• 98 Don’t Bring me down - Electric Light Orchestra
• 96. Shaft THEME - Isaac Hayes
• 88. Let My Love Open The Door - Pete Townshend
• 79. Don''t Do Me Like That - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
• 67. Brass in Pocket (I''m Special)- The Pretenders
• 52. The Wanderer – old people
• 15. Funkytown - Lipps, Inc.
• 14. It''s Still Rock n'' Roll to Me - Billy Joel
• 13. Please Don''t Go - KC & the Sunshine Band
• 2. Call Me - Blondie
• 94. Our Lips are Sealed - The Go-Go''s
• 89. Super Freak (Part 1) - Rick James
• 74 Blame it on the Rain…. Milli vannilli
• 58. Hello Again - Neil Diamond
• 56. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
• 55. Easy - Commodores
• 53. For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton
• 35. The Winner Takes It All - Abba
• 15. The Tide Is High - Blondie
• 6. Waiting For A Girl Like You - Foreigner
• 5. Celebration - Kool & The Gang
• 4. Jessie''s Girl - Rick Springfield
• 3. Endless Love - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
• 2. Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes
LOVE POTION #9 - ?
Mac the Knife - ?
3. I Love Rock N'' Roll, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
6. Don''t You Want M, Human League
7. Jack And Diane, John Cougar
9. Abracadabra, Steve Miller Band
16. 867-5309 (Jenny), Tommy Tutone
32. Eye In The Sky, Alan Parsons Project
63. Our Lips Are Sealed, Go-Go''s
96. Working For The Weekend, Loverboy
2. Billie Jean, Michael Jackson
3. Flashdance... What A Feelin, Irene Cara
5. THRILLER, Michael Jackson
15. She Works Hard For The Money, Donna Summer
17. Hungry Like The Wolf, Duran Duran
22. Electric Avenue, Eddy Grant
25. Little Red Corvette, Prince
27. Up Where We Belong, Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
30. Der Kommissar, After The Fire
31. Puttin'' On The Ritz, Taco
32. Sexual Healing, Marvin Gaye
35. The Safety Dance, Men Without Hats
41. 1999, Prince
47. Truly, Lionel Richie
52. Rock The Casbah, Clash
96. Tonight I Celebrate My Love, Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack

 

[katamari]

thl! I can''t even begin to tell you how awesome you are for making that list! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

 

[katamari]

Date: 4/2/2009 8:31:40 AM
Author: rhbgirl24
We are actually doing the same thing. My guy is soooooooooooooo into music that he is controlling the play list completely (with my input, of course

). So we have a DJ and his equiptment, but he will be playing solely the lineup of what my fiance has put together. We are asking in advance songs that people like - that still fit into the genre - and some will be included.


Its going to be all hard rock - there will be some more upbeat songs to dance to, like maybe some Bon Jovi, but as the night goes on it will get harder - leading into the last hour of my fiance''s all fave music, so metallica, sevendust, mudvayne...........


So we aren''t too worried about tempo either. We will only have a few songs that people will be able to dance to, and when things get harder late in the night, there is a ''lounge area'' set up in the adjoining room just in case the grandparents can''t take it. lol

We are also going to have a lot of things other people can do, besides hang out on the dance floor. I bet your FI is super excited about hearing his favorite bands, too!

 

[katamari]

Date: 4/2/2009 9:51:51 AM
Author: Elmorton
I didn''t read the additional posts, so forgive me if I repeat anything - we DIYed our music (which I''m going to go out on a biased limb and say our music was the best of any wedding I''ve ever been to ) -


1st dancing songs were big band/swing - I figured if I was ever going to see the Gparents dance, that would be it. They didn''t, but our ''older guests'' got into it


For the rest of the first hour, it was the stuff people knew - a bunch of 60s-70s-80s classics. DH didn''t want the electric slide, but our dance floor was seriously PACKED for it, so I''m glad we threw that in.


Second hour was basically our tribute to songs that reminded us of awesome times with our gang of friends - mostly stuff from the mid 90''s (NKOTB to OMC), with some other random stuff peppered in.


Third hour was my DH''s - at this point, I figured our parents'' friends would be leaving (I was right) and so he played Warren G, Snoop, etc.


There were a ton of songs that DH and I both wanted but weren''t really dancing songs - we played all of those for our cocktail hour. Dinner music was all jazz.

Ooh, I love the idea of including songs that would be special for our friends and family! FI and I have both been to tons of concerts (mostly with friends) so we could do that easy.

 

[iheartscience]

Okay, I am totally down with DIYing music, but pretty please make sure you''re playing songs your guests will like! I''ve been to several weddings where the couple DIYed the music or made the DJ play certain styles of music that were *their* favorites, and the receptions were...not great. (For dancing, that is.) Seriously, almost no one danced at any of the DIYed music weddings. We all gave it a go (I absolutely LOVE to dance so I gave it my best shot) but some music is just very hard to dance to.

I know ABBA is cheesy, but everyone will get up to dance to Dancing Queen. Just throwing that out there. And day to day, I definitely don''t listen to music anyone would dance to (or even play on the radio), but at my wedding, cheesy wedding songs will be in full effect. That''s what makes it fun, you know?

 

[CravingDiamonds]

It''s great that you want to play music that you and groom like at your wedding, but as others have mentioned, be sure that you include music that may appeal to others. You don''t want to be the only 2 people on the dance floor the whole night. I have been to weddings were the bride and groom dance all night on the floor and that is how they interact with guests, so that is not a problem.

The only thing with through the decades theme, will it drive the younger crowd away because they won''t realize that newer music is yet to come once they hear oldy after oldy? With slow songs, I know as a younger married couple myself, my husband only dances to slow songs so this is the only chance I have to dance with my husband, so you may want to consider mixing in a few here and there.

 

[katamari]

Date: 4/2/2009 11:36:04 PM
Author: thing2of2
Okay, I am totally down with DIYing music, but pretty please make sure you''re playing songs your guests will like! I''ve been to several weddings where the couple DIYed the music or made the DJ play certain styles of music that were *their* favorites, and the receptions were...not great. (For dancing, that is.) Seriously, almost no one danced at any of the DIYed music weddings. We all gave it a go (I absolutely LOVE to dance so I gave it my best shot) but some music is just very hard to dance to.


I know ABBA is cheesy, but everyone will get up to dance to Dancing Queen. Just throwing that out there. And day to day, I definitely don''t listen to music anyone would dance to (or even play on the radio), but at my wedding, cheesy wedding songs will be in full effect. That''s what makes it fun, you know?

Definitely not just playing our faves! In fact, I am guessing that neither of our favorite bands will even make the cut to be played at all. As much as I could listen to Radiohead all day every day, there is a time and a place for it. We will still be playing crowd pleasers, just ones we like (and our friends/family like). Trust me, I still love me some cheesy pop music, I am just particular about it. I mainly don''t want any of the hypersexual stuff or anything that would make my Grams feel she needs to go to confession for because she heard it.

 

[katamari]

Date: 4/2/2009 11:54:25 PM
Author: CravingDiamonds
It''s great that you want to play music that you and groom like at your wedding, but as others have mentioned, be sure that you include music that may appeal to others. You don''t want to be the only 2 people on the dance floor the whole night. I have been to weddings were the bride and groom dance all night on the floor and that is how they interact with guests, so that is not a problem.


The only thing with through the decades theme, will it drive the younger crowd away because they won''t realize that newer music is yet to come once they hear oldy after oldy? With slow songs, I know as a younger married couple myself, my husband only dances to slow songs so this is the only chance I have to dance with my husband, so you may want to consider mixing in a few here and there.

I will totally be in tune with this, or at least I will try to, but I will probably post the playlist here first, because I am getting more worried about it. I guess I just always assumed that, like me, people died a little on the inside every time someone plays "Shook Me All Night Long."

FI and I are in our 30s, so even if I start in the 60s, it will still be songs a lot of us heard as kids, but that is a good point that the guests wouldn''t know what we are doing unless we told them. Good point!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Sorry if i repeat what others have suggested but there are some really long posts!

We too are just going to have a play list on one of our ipods ready to go, we having the wedding at home so it wont be too hard to pull off and we have a huge selection already picked out! We plan to play stuff we like, stuff that has meaning to us and stuff that just sounds good.

But i did read a great suggestion in a magazine the other day that i thought was a really cool idea...

Have everyone on your guest list text you the song that makes them get up and dance without fail, then include a those songs on your playlist. Apparently the looks on peoples faces when they hear their song come on is priceless!!

 

[tlh]

your welcome.. your idea sounds like a lot of fun!