Divorce Diamonds

[fioratura]

So I'm getting divorced It's not a place I ever thought I would be, but my ex and I are on good terms and I'm very excited about my future and starting a new chapter of my life. We were high school sweethearts and were very important to each other, but ultimately wanted different things from our lives as we grew. We are both still in our 20's so there is lots of time for us to create the lives we want. The diamonds I received during the engagement and marriage have wonderful memories attached to them, but they will DEFINITELY need to take a new form in order for me to be able to wear them without feeling really weird.

So my pendant is a no brainier: I want to find a mate for it and make a pair of studs. .8TCW studs are my ideal size so it works perfectly! Let me know who your favorite vendors/artists are to have this done!

Stats:
0.415cts
H
SI1
AGS 0
Light performance 0
Proportion Factors 0
Finish 0
Polish Ideal
Symmetry Ideal

Table- 55%
Depth- 61.8%
Crown- 33.9 deg
Pav- 40.8 deg

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-first-ps-post-4-prong-every-day-pendant.196973/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-first-ps-post-4-prong-every-day-pendant.196973/[/URL]


Now my e-ring:
I have had a love/hate relationship with this diamond because when I chose it, I didn't know enough about diamonds to know that not all GIA Ex-Ex-Ex stones were created equal and once I started learning more, I felt bad about my decision. I've had thoughts of upgrading in the past, but now with the end of the relationship I don't really know what I should do. The sentimental side of me feels weird getting rid of it because it represents an important time in my life, and the practical side of me wonders how much money I'll actually get for it used and what kind of dream stone I'd be able to trade it in for. The other question is what to do with the diamond if I do keep it or what to get if I trade it in. Is it too big for a pendant? I'd love to see ideas!!


Here are the stats:
1.26ct
H
SI1
GIA Ex-Ex-Ex
Table 59%
Depth 61.1%
Crown 34.5 deg
Pav 41 deg

THANKS IN ADVANCE!

 

[Californiadreaming]

I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce, but you are right - you are both young and far better to realise you no longer want a life together than many miserable years later.

I am NOT a prosumer, I am just a PS lurker, poster and fangirl!! But I think your engagement ring is stunning and no I do not think it's too big for a pendant, either with or without the halo. I think it would look amazing.

Other more wise posters will come and give you advice but I wish you well and hope you enjoy your new jewellery whatever you decide to do

 

[Niel]

No such thing as too big for a pendant.

 

[unsettled]

Oh, I think your engagement ring diamond would make an amazing pendant!

And a matching stone for studs is also a great idea. I have been thinking of the same thing for a pendant that I have and no longer wear. I have worked with Whiteflash on a 7 stone band and I think they have great customer service and a nice selection of diamonds!

 

[fioratura]

Sentimentality aside, in terms of resale value, it wouldn't really make sense to sell the e-ring stone for another stone, would it? I know values go WAY down for "used" diamonds. Did anyone else keep their diamond after divorce and feel weird about it?

 

[wildcat03]

Sentimentality aside, in terms of resale value, it wouldn't really make sense to sell the e-ring stone for another stone, would it? I know values go WAY down for "used" diamonds. Did anyone else keep their diamond after divorce and feel weird about it?

My friend kept her 1 ct stone and found a match for it and now has 2 cttw earrings. I think she does feel a little weird about wearing them now that she's remarried.

It wouldn't make sense to sell the stone and buy another one, though. You would be a private seller and couldn't get enough for the diamond to finance the purchase of anything of similar size.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Sell the setting, use that towards making a match for your new earrings and reset the ER diamond into a pendant. I would feel more funky about the setting than the diamond.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Your ideas are perfect! I also would use l WF to match your diamond. I will look and see if I can find a match there or elsewhere if you give me the diameter measurements of the stone.

I think a 1.2 ct diamond is fabulous for a pendant and not too large, as long as any future e-ring diamond is that size or larger. It will help if you set the stone without a halo in a simple setting like you had before. The other option would be to use it in a right hand ring with side sapphires or something. I think the numbers on your diamond look fine, and the slightly larger table would be really nice for a pendant as it probably is a bright stone. And yes, you will lose too much money selling it. It is a nice diamond.

Best of luck to you, and it is nice to hear of an amicable parting!

This one has angles not too far from yours and should work if the diameters are close enough:

http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3213726.htm

 

[grateful4life]

My engagement ring I made into a pendant. I wear it every day and probably get more complements on it than any other piece of jewelry I own. The center stone is 1.25 so almost identical to yours

 

[Travelgal]

I love the idea of a pendant for the larger stone. As someone who has been through a divorce and is now remarried, my husband is not the jealous type and doesn't question my past relationship, but he made it very clear he was not a fan of me wearing my ex-engagement diamond (necklace, bracelet,otherwise). I have several girlfriends who had similar experiences (we all got divorced in our late 20s and remarried in our early 30s). None of our husbands are controlling or overly opinionated, but they all felt the symbol of the diamond (even reset) was something they were uncomfortable with us wearing (surprisingly we all married men who had never previously been married).

I am not suggesting you never wear the diamond, I just want you to be prepared that you will get asked about it. I had a stunning radiant cut diamond and even today it pains me that I let it go, but after dating and seeing the reaction I got to wearing nice jewelry (most I purchased for myself), I would consider keeping the diamond until you've had time to process the divorce and re-establish yourself. At that point you can reset it or trade it in for something else... But I'd give it some time before you make any decisions. Just my 2 cents.

(Edit- I would trade my old diamond any day for my husband. While I LOVE jewelry and the idea of losing $1k or even $10k on a diamond pains me, I'd take my husband and a simple gold band any day of the week. Having healthy, good relationships far outweigh a loss in monetary value if you end up selling/trading.)

 

[Sphene]

No such thing as too big for a pendant.

+1

 

[Sphene]

I love the idea of a pendant for the larger stone. As someone who has been through a divorce and is now remarried, my husband is not the jealous type and doesn't question my past relationship, but he made it very clear he was not a fan of me wearing my ex-engagement diamond (necklace, bracelet,otherwise). I have several girlfriends who had similar experiences (we all got divorced in our late 20s and remarried in our early 30s). None of our husbands are controlling or overly opinionated, but they all felt the symbol of the diamond (even reset) was something they were uncomfortable with us wearing (surprisingly we all married men who had never previously been married).

I am not suggesting you never wear the diamond, I just want you to be prepared that you will get asked about it. I had a stunning radiant cut diamond and even today it pains me that I let it go, but after dating and seeing the reaction I got to wearing nice jewelry (most I purchased for myself), I would consider keeping the diamond until you've had time to process the divorce and re-establish yourself. At that point you can reset it or trade it in for something else... But I'd give it some time before you make any decisions. Just my 2 cents.

(Edit- I would trade my old diamond any day for my husband. While I LOVE jewelry and the idea of losing $1k or even $10k on a diamond pains me, I'd take my husband and a simple gold band any day of the week. Having healthy, good relationships far outweigh a loss in monetary value if you end up selling/trading.)

Not healthy in my opinion for a man who loves you to be jealous of an in-animate object - just controlling - and why tell in the first place who bought the diamond especially if you have had it made into something else - white lies keep the peace

 

[NTave]

I kept my e ring and earrings for my daughter. She received the .65? .7? Ctw earrings on her thirteenth birthday, the one carat oval is in a safety box for her when I deem she is old enough to own it, prob 18, and will be reset as a pendant for her. I thought about a pendant for me, but I really don't want any reminder of the life with him on my body. I also thought of selling it, but I think it's worth more as a reminder for her of more hopeful times in her parents life together. She sees /will see it as a good memory as she was little and present when we became engaged. its always been hers.

 

[JJMMXX]

Sentimentality aside, in terms of resale value, it wouldn't really make sense to sell the e-ring stone for another stone, would it? I know values go WAY down for "used" diamonds. Did anyone else keep their diamond after divorce and feel weird about it?

I kept my diamond from my first marriage (1.20ct) and turned it into a pendant. I felt weird about it for a while but I am 100% ok with it now (9 years later.). Just this summer I used the side stones in multi-stone earrings and I feel totally fine.

 

[heididdl]

I woul;d so take the 1.20 and match it for studs. I have 2.40 and they are perfect. sell the pendant stone and setting to help pay for the larger stud match. As you get older you;ll appreciate the larger studs. I never ever take mine off I'm obsessed.

 

[kenny]

Now my e-ring:
I have had a love/hate relationship with this diamond because when I chose it, I didn't know enough about diamonds to know that not all GIA Ex-Ex-Ex stones were created equal and once I started learning more, I felt bad about my decision. I've had thoughts of upgrading in the past, but now with the end of the relationship I don't really know what I should do. The sentimental side of me feels weird getting rid of it because it represents an important time in my life, and the practical side of me wonders how much money I'll actually get for it used and what kind of dream stone I'd be able to trade it in for. The other question is what to do with the diamond if I do keep it or what to get if I trade it in. Is it too big for a pendant? I'd love to see ideas!!


Here are the stats:
1.26ct
H
SI1
GIA Ex-Ex-Ex
Table 59%
Depth 61.1%
Crown 34.5 deg
Pav 41 deg

First, congratulations on taking steps to improve your life.



The cut isn't horrible, but could be better.
I wouldn't buy a round scoring over 2.0 on the HCA.

https://www.pricescope.com/tools/hca

I'd consider recutting it to improve the light performance (and perhaps give the stone's symbolism a make-over).
I'd contact Brian Gavin at www.briangavindiamonds.com to get a price quote and expected weight loss from a recut into a super-ideal.
His diamonds have superb light performance and he's in Texas so, if you are in the US, no shipping off to another country.

You could see it as the best of both worlds.
Sure it's the same diamond, but you will be the same you but this is an improved diamond for an improved you.
I'll bet the recut would be a few hundred bucks, not the thousands you'd lose selling it.

Unless your hands are already dripping with diamonds I'm not a fan of pendants because, unlike a ring, you can't see and enjoy a diamond that's hanging under your neck.
Maybe after the recut mount it into a three-stone ring for your right hand so it doesn't look or seem like an engagement ring.

 

[Jambalaya]

I'm voting for a pendant, because then you will have a set that will stand you in good stead forever - diamond pendant and diamond earrings. They will look beautiful! If you do want the pendant stone to be better cut, I second Kenny's idea about a possible re-cut.

If there is a chance that a future partner will be unhappy about you wearing a former engagement diamond, I wouldn't mention anything about the provenance of your stone, when you do meet someone. I don't think you should have to give up a gorgeous piece of jewelry if you don't want to, in order to keep someone else happy. If diamonds were easier to trade/dispose of, that would be one thing, but you can't really divest yourself of this diamond and get something similar without losing a lot of money. It's not fair to have to do that, unless you're OK with that loss. And imagine if you sold the diamond to make someone happy and then that relationship ended, too. It's your diamond and you should wear it forever if you want to. It's not quite the same, but I have some household gifts from someone I knew many years ago who turned out not to be a good friend or a good person. I haven't had any contact with her in years, and over time, the association between her and those objects in my house really faded. Now I enjoy those objects for their own sake, and have really forgotten that they were gifts from that former friendship.

If anyone comments on your engagement diamond when dating again, you could just say "Yes, it was a lucky find!" which is true.

ETA: Kenny, I believe there was a thread on PS a few months ago wondering why people wear diamonds they can't see, in the form of pendants and/or earrings. I can't remember if you started it, or maybe it was DF. Anyway, the reason is - for me, anyway - that diamonds in those areas can be very flattering. For me, I feel good knowing that their sparkle next to my face and on my neckline is making me look better - which for me means more glamorous, more luxe - than I would look otherwise. Maybe I can't see them but I know they're there, and I feel good in them. I do also see them when I look in a mirror, wash my hands in the bathroom, and in photos.

 

[kenny]

Yes, I know many people like diamond pendants.
I don't.

Nobody's wrong.
People just vary.

The OP asked for our opinions.

 

[MJ_Mac]

Yes, I know many people like diamond pendants.
I don't.

Nobody's wrong.
People just vary.

The OP asked for our opinions.

I love the symbolism behind Kenny's idea. Do agree, nobody is wrong - pendant is a lovely idea as well. The OP and her former spouse have split amicably and I think it's nice to acknowledge their past while moving forward. I don't find wearing diamonds given from a former spouse any different than someone wearing a pre-loved diamond purchased from a stranger.

 

[fioratura]

Now my e-ring:
I have had a love/hate relationship with this diamond because when I chose it, I didn't know enough about diamonds to know that not all GIA Ex-Ex-Ex stones were created equal and once I started learning more, I felt bad about my decision. I've had thoughts of upgrading in the past, but now with the end of the relationship I don't really know what I should do. The sentimental side of me feels weird getting rid of it because it represents an important time in my life, and the practical side of me wonders how much money I'll actually get for it used and what kind of dream stone I'd be able to trade it in for. The other question is what to do with the diamond if I do keep it or what to get if I trade it in. Is it too big for a pendant? I'd love to see ideas!!


Here are the stats:
1.26ct
H
SI1
GIA Ex-Ex-Ex
Table 59%
Depth 61.1%
Crown 34.5 deg
Pav 41 deg

First, congratulations on taking steps to improve your life.



The cut isn't horrible, but could be better.
I wouldn't buy a round scoring over 2.0 on the HCA.

https://www.pricescope.com/tools/hca

I'd consider recutting it to improve the light performance (and perhaps give the stone's symbolism a make-over).
I'd contact Brian Gavin at www.briangavindiamonds.com to get a price quote and expected weight loss from a recut into a super-ideal.
His diamonds have superb light performance and he's in Texas so, if you are in the US, no shipping off to another country.

You could see it as the best of both worlds.
Sure it's the same diamond, but you will be the same you but this is an improved diamond for an improved you.
I'll bet the recut would be a few hundred bucks, not the thousands you'd lose selling it.

Unless your hands are already dripping with diamonds I'm not a fan of pendants because, unlike a ring, you can't see and enjoy a diamond that's hanging under your neck.
Maybe after the recut mount it into a three-stone ring for your right hand so it doesn't look or seem like an engagement ring.

I LOVE the idea of a recut. I feel like it definitely would give the diamond a new symbolism for me and I always had regrets that it wasn't a super ideal cut. I am going to contact Brian Gavin and get a quote. Thanks for the great suggestion! I personally do enjoy pendants even if I can't see them myself. I think in the future I could always match it for larger studs when my budget allows, but for now, a pendant would be a good way to enjoy it.

I've been loving everyone's support and input! Thanks everyone for being so awesome!

 

[fioratura]

Waiting for a quote from Brian Gavin for a recut, but if I do go that route, what do you think of the Barbara pendant for a stone of that size (even with weight lost in the recut, I'm assuming still a carat or a bit over)? I know it's a super popular piece among PSers and I love the everyday look of it. I had always thought that I preferred bezels on smaller stones, but after seeing some more substantial ones in milgrain bezels, I've been thinking differently. I was thinking of white goals milgrain with an 18" chain...as thin and floaty as possible.

I read a post about studs and pendant being "cousins" not "twins" so I think I would still go with a standard 4-prong stud. What are your thoughts? I've been loving all of your suggestions so far.

 

[fioratura]

Oh no...now I'm looking at milgrain bezel studs...so yummy!!!! Bezels were actually never my thing before but maybe new life changes equal a slightly new aesthetic. The milgrain is so romantic and feminine!

 

[flash407]

I got divorced and faced a similar situation. I loved my ring. 2.78 cushion cut diamon with baguettes. It was an upgrade. My former husbamd didn't pick it out; I worked with the jeweler, found the diamond and designed the setting. He really just paid for it. So there wasn't a lot of sentimentality with it.

Some said not to wear it and save for my girls. I thought why let probably the nicest piece of jewelry I own sit in a box. So I decided to make it into a pendant. And it's my favorite thing and I wear it almost everyday. I call it my parting gift.

 

[LLJsmom]

Can't wait to see what you have done with it. I vote for getting a match for studs.

 

[fioratura]

UPDATE: I just got confirmation yesterday that my diamond arrived safely to Brian Gavin for its recut. It should take up to 3 months for the recut and then I will have to figure out what I want to do with it. It should take 10 days or so before I find out how much weight will be lost in order to recut it into a super-ideal, but I'm fairly positive that I will go ahead with it, regardless.

My budget does not allow me to match a stone of that size for studs at the moment, so I'm definitely going for a pendant. Since the diamond will already be with BG, I have been thinking of putting it into a plain WG Barbara pendant. I'd love to see examples if any of you have that setting with a stone that 1ct+. I also like a fixed 4 prong setting like the one I had before, but I think maybe it's time for a different style. I know the Barbara is VERY popular here and there must be a good reason for that

 

[Rockinruby]

Good luck with the recut! I really find it interesting regarding the cutting and how different the diamond can look afterwards. I hope you will keep everyone up to date as your project proceeds. It will eventually be a beautiful pendant! Fwiw, I love the Barbara pendant!

 

[Tucs]

floratura, I am also sending a (1 ct) stone myself to Brian Gavin for (a possible recut and) setting into a pendant, likely a Barbara pendant. I did my research on PS and it seems like a very good setting, and I will send my stone soon.

I think setting your stone as a pendant is a great idea for a new start. Good luck with your pendant and keep us posted!

 

[Tekate]

I had not thought of a recut till Kenny mentioned it! it is such a good idea! I hope you don't lose a lot of carat weight but it's a new diamond sort of like a phoenix! Best of luck in your new and happiest of life.

My original engagement ring was an OEC 1.50 carat gorgeous E color, VVS1. It was my former mother in-laws, at breakup time she said for me to keep it (she always told me her fatherinlaw got it off an dead body, ((he was NYC cop)).. so for 20 years I had the ring in my safe deposit box (my long lasting and loving 2nd husband did not like it - he thought it was yellow)... so I finally had it reset into a semi bezel white gold pendant! I loved it and wore it constantly, then BEHOLD! my former mother in law calls me and wonders if I would mind giving the ring back as her grandson could not afford a stone.. of course I sent it back... when my first husband and I become engaged he told me that his mom said if we break up I have to give the stone back since it had been his grandmothers ring first... I thought about it and I concluded; well it was never mine really and I liked my former MIL very much so I sent it to her.. I was sad and missed the stone so I bought a AVC and have that in a pendant now.

Again! best of life for you and your future, I always say and I do mean: Divorce can be beautiful!!!


Peace.

 

[secretagentlaura]

Pendants are actually my favourite use for stone > 1 carat

 

[CravingDiamonds]

First off, sorry to hear about the divorce but glad that it is mutual and both of you are in good terms. Second, it is a beautiful ring but if it hold a lot of sentimental value and you do not get upset while looking at it, I would not sell it. Even if you do get a little sad looking at it, just lock it away and have it for safe keeping.