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disappointed with custom project

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 20, 2013
Messages
137
I've had a couple smaller custom pieces made now and had good experiences with those projects. I took the plunge and had a more significant project commissioned and unfortunately am not such a happy camper this time. I could kick myself and just want to cry. Because the labor was the brunt of the cost, not the materials, there is no option of them redoing it without additional cost. Although It would not be the full cost it will be about a third of the original cost.

I've read the post from frankiextah who had the halo ring made three times (by LM, SK, and VC). That is not an option for me. I was wondering if anyone else could share redo experiences with me? Were you unhappy with a custom piece but lived with it because spending more money couldn't be justified or just wasn't in the cards? If so did it grow on you? Did you bite the bullet and shell out the money to have it redone? If so were you happy with the version 2.0?
 

telephone89

Ideal_Rock
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Do you have photos?

I wonder if there might be alterable things vs a total redo?
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 20, 2013
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no, it's a wide-ish band so its not an engagement ring situation that maybe a new head or minor tweaks would fix. Also, the quality is not in question.
 

JDDN

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 2, 2015
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I feel your pain! I had a wedding eternity band made (well reset) and although the quality was superb and it looked nice, it felt terrible on. I wore it for a couple of months and it just made the neighboring fingers miserable. In fact when I wore it all I could think about was how nice it would feel to take it off. It was difficult because it looked great and the craftsmanship was excellent, but I hated wearing it. So, do I leave it sitting in a box which is wasted money, do I spend even more on it to re-do it, or do I sell it and take a hit on what I paid for it and put the money towards a ring that would better suit me? All options money is in some way either wasted or lost. Since it is my wedding band and the diamonds are sentimental to me, leaving it in a drawer or selling it wasn't an option. We decided to have it re-done in a different style and it's perfect now. It's comfortable, pretty and I love wearing it. So for me, it was worth shelling out a little more to have it re-done so that I can wear it and enjoy it.

It's a tough choice and such a disappointment initially. I guess you have to weigh your options and what's most important to you. It doesn't hurt to wear it for a month or so and see how you feel about it then.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I'm so sorry Edel...I know it must be really frustrating. I think posting some pics may get you some good suggestions. I'm always
amazed at some of the ideas that PSers come up with. It may not be perfect, but sometimes a little fix here or there makes
a flaw seem less noticeable.
 

telephone89

Ideal_Rock
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So it was the actual design that you dislike?

How I look at it: If you are this unhappy with it then it is probably not going to grow on you. Your post isn't a 'well this part isn't perfect' - you are considering scrapping it all together, that seems like some serious hate! If I were in your shoes, I would go for the re-do. I'm not sure how much you spent, but an extra 1/3 so you love it might be worth it. Are you able to keep the ring and maybe sell it? That might recoup some of the cost.
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 20, 2013
Messages
137
JDDN, thanks for sharing your story. It's beautiful and sparkly and fits just like I hoped. I can't complain about the craftsmanship or melee quality. I'm sure anyone that notices it would think it's great and as long as I don't look at it too close I can almost convince myself of the same. But when I look closer I would be embarrassed to let someone else see it that close up because the design looks like it got stuck in between the design I wanted and 'vanilla' straight rows. Which then does make me feel like it is poor design....like crooked rows. Even if I posted a pic telephone89 and everyone told me the design was wonderful I'm not sure I'd convince myself of the same knowing I asked for something different. It hurts knowing I saved and debated and tried so hard to get it right.....to be so let down....almost everything is right, but with the outside wrong all that's right gets negated.

I guess I could try to get an estimate of what I could sell it for if I could recoup more I could try to do that versus the redo and then just start over. Since you never make money on diamonds I just assumed the loss would be greater trying to sell it. My finger size is small and I feel like more rings for sale seem to be average size.
 

pearaffair

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Sell it if you can handle it emotionally. Have you heard of the sunk cost fallacy? Don't make decisions based upon money already spent :)
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I'm so sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you, and that you are disappointed! I think that if something bothers you now, it's unlikely to get any better :( In fact, it's likely to bother you more over time.

And I agree with Pearaffair that you shouldn't make choices based on money you've already spent. Especially if you could potentially get it re-made for 1/3 of the cost it might be worth it in the end.
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 20, 2013
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137
Thanks lovedogs and pearaffair. My regret over the $$ spent makes it 10 times worse! Thanks for pointing out the sunk cost fallacy. I think I am someone that really gets pulled down by this. My gut wants me to learn to love it because the money loss is huge, but if I just hate it more over time then I have wasted time and energy on it in addition to the lost value/increased cost.
 

LLJsmom

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Not to be a downer but it prob won't grow on you. It's a mistake that cost money. Most all of us has made these before. It will take some time before you accept it. But once you do you can move on and either do over and suck up the cost of maybe sell it. I have a few that are just sitting there, which I think is worse. There is nothing wrong with mine but it just turns out I don't wear them. Meh... Such is the price of being a jewelry lover. ;-)
 

JDDN

Ideal_Rock
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I know how disappointing it is to not love a custom piece and the money spent is total insult to injury. I agonized over the ring and I didn't want to disappoint my husband, but in the end he was totally supportive of making it right. The deal with the jeweler/bench person was similar to yours, maybe even a touch more. If you honestly think you and the jeweler can get it right and it will make you really happy, then it's a good choice to have it re-made. If the whole thing is spoiled in your mind, then maybe starting clean is the way to go. In any event, I did wait several months before I made the decision. The initial upset made me not want to make any rash decisions lest I make another mistake!!
 

Sphene

Brilliant_Rock
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Jan 4, 2015
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666
You have got to post pictures its not fair to have us all guessing what this monstrosity looks like - please :bigsmile:
 

chrono

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I am confused. It seems like the bench did a good job but you don't like it even though you approved it? So it's more of a personal issue rather than a bench issue?
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 20, 2013
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Chrono I guess that is one of the struggles of projects from afar. I saw an image of a side, but the issue wasn't so apparent until I could see the full piece. When viewing it as a whole continuous piece on my finger the look changes. Also, the stone sizes I wanted used and what were actually used are not the same. I trusted that from the pictures the sizes were correct...everything looks bigger in a macro shot....just like diamond inclusions look bigger online in the zoomed in pics...in person I started to question if they were smaller than requested and when I asked that was confirmed.

Like I said someone else might think it is fine, but its not what I asked for. Rings get posted on here all the time that one person thinks is great and someone else finds ugly. It's always subjective. I thought I had read enough about other people's custom experiences to know how to handle the process for a good outcome but that didn't happen. I had a previous positive experience where I tried to defer to the bench's judgement and was pleased...that bench was also more forthcoming about changes....they thought x y z would be better and was I ok with that? I then let them know I was. I feel the decisions that were made this time were not shared.....so I could only assume the work was following my requests, only after it was too late did I learn that wasn't the case after all.
 

marymm

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edelweissmaedl|1447200217|3947998 said:
JDDN, thanks for sharing your story. It's beautiful and sparkly and fits just like I hoped. I can't complain about the craftsmanship or melee quality. I'm sure anyone that notices it would think it's great and as long as I don't look at it too close I can almost convince myself of the same. But when I look closer I would be embarrassed to let someone else see it that close up because the design looks like it got stuck in between the design I wanted and 'vanilla' straight rows. Which then does make me feel like it is poor design....like crooked rows. Even if I posted a pic telephone89 and everyone told me the design was wonderful I'm not sure I'd convince myself of the same knowing I asked for something different. It hurts knowing I saved and debated and tried so hard to get it right.....to be so let down....almost everything is right, but with the outside wrong all that's right gets negated.

I guess I could try to get an estimate of what I could sell it for if I could recoup more I could try to do that versus the redo and then just start over. Since you never make money on diamonds I just assumed the loss would be greater trying to sell it. My finger size is small and I feel like more rings for sale seem to be average size.

OP - from the parts I bolded above, it sounds like there is a disconnect between what you asked for and what you received - it doesn't matter how well crafted the piece is if they didn't follow your design request.

(1) How much time has passed from your receipt of the finished piece?
(2) Do you have anything in writing (email, order/invoice, CADs, sketches, inspirational photos) that sets out exactly what you requested?
(3) And, are you able to take photos of the specific portion(s) of the finished piece not meeting the design specs?

If it were me, and I received a ring not crafted to my design request, I would contact the vendor (no matter how well-executed the finished piece may be) to politely advise the piece arrived safely but does not meet the design specs, and then lay out in detail with reference to prior written info the way(s) in which the piece differs from the design ordered and agreed upon. And, depending on the degree to which the piece departed from the requested design, and the amount of trust I have in the specific vendor to be able to try again to meet the design specs, I'd request a full refund or a re-make.

However, if the piece you received does actually meet the design specs but you had imagined the finished piece would look/feel different than it does, then I don't see that you have any recourse against the vendor.
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I appreciate the explanation. It appears that you are very particular about every detail, which can be difficult to communicate, even when face to face, much less at a distance. You mentioned that the stone sizes you wanted used wasn't? Regardless of distance, if you are detail oriented, you must note down such things and communicate it, rather than presume the sizes are correct before the ring is made. I am sorry that it is an expensive learning experience.

I believe that you should share what you wrote here to to the bench (details and decisions not shared beforehand) which contributes to your not being 100% satisfied with the item. Is this bench the type who can be micro managed or the type that has his/her own vision?
 

iluvshinythings

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May 15, 2009
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I'm sorry you're disappointed. My disappointment ring wasn't custom, but I did buy a mounting that I never liked. It's beautiful and sparkles like crazy but it's just not my style. Every time I wore it I felt like I was carrying around a $3500 screw up but I kept thinking about the money and how wasteful. I wore it for three years and found that I don't enjoy wearing it anymore because I'm reminded every time I see it of how much money I spent and how it's not my style. I received tons of compliments on it so I guess it looks ok to an outsider. I've tried to let it grow on me but it's just not going to happen. I've finally given up and it's at the jeweler now for a new setting. Maybe I can re-sell the old one and maybe not. I finally got to the point where I decided I needed to make it right and enjoy wearing a gem that takes my breath away. (I've been saving for the remount and taking my time deciding for two years now)

So I guess my advice is that you know what you want so don't settle. I wish I could say you'll fall in love with your new ring, but I don't think that will happen. It's certainly worth communicating your preferences to see if it can be made the way you want it.
 

nala

Ideal_Rock
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Sphene|1447230181|3948113 said:
You have got to post pictures its not fair to have us all guessing what this monstrosity looks like - please :bigsmile:
+1
 

pinkjewel

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 1, 2011
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2,362
Based on your earlier threads- is this the style ring you were trying to replicate? If so, I can see where a bench may not get it right. Good pave is not easy.

pave_1.jpg
 

Michael_E

Brilliant_Rock
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edelweissmaedl|1447257615|3948199 said:
Chrono I guess that is one of the struggles of projects from afar. I saw an image of a side, but the issue wasn't so apparent until I could see the full piece. When viewing it as a whole continuous piece on my finger the look changes. Also, the stone sizes I wanted used and what were actually used are not the same. I trusted that from the pictures the sizes were correct

You saw this from the side and not from all directions? No CAD's? Is the reason for the difference in what you wanted and what you received due to the difference in diamond sizes? Now the BIG question, have you told the person who made this what you are saying here?
You should have received a complete view of what you were having made prior to it being made and the diamond sizes specified should have been followed and you should let the person who made this just how you are feeling about it. I know that if I had a client who felt this way I would want to know how they felt and so my advice is to tell them how you feel about this and give them the opportunity to do something about it, (chances are good that they will, as unhappy clients never return AND tell all their friends).



I had a previous positive experience where I tried to defer to the bench's judgement and was pleased...that bench was also more forthcoming about changes....they thought x y z would be better and was I ok with that? I then let them know I was. I feel the decisions that were made this time were not shared.....so I could only assume the work was following my requests, only after it was too late did I learn that wasn't the case after all.

If your requests are not being followed, then it is never too late to express your dissatisfaction with the outcome. Whoever made this needs to know how it turned out for you and that they may need to change their approach. There are too many ways to keep this from happening, (CAD modeling, 3D printed ring samples, etc), to allow it to happen and if you don't say anything, then you will remain unhappy and the jeweler who made it will keep on doing things in a way which allows problems to creep in to their process. As jewelers we are selling happiness, (that's how you're supposed to feel when looking at what we make, right?), so if you aren't happy, then you really need to let them know.
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 20, 2013
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So I've started this reply twice and lost the message twice so time three is going to be shorter now because I just can't rewrite it yet again!

Thanks you all for your empathy and advice. I can really beat myself up with regret so I appreciate the nudges to help me make the best rational decision and not one because it sucks to have a fail, even more so a $$ fail.

The piece was not going to be cast (so no wax model) and it is known they don't provide CAD's, etc. My emails to the jeweler were spread out as my disappointment increased as the details unfolded. I have some great advice here to help me collect my thoughts and lay out the whole situation in one message to the jeweler again. It's still a bit too soon to know what I will decide, but if I decide to try again I will work on creating some of my own drawings/images to visually convey what did not meet the agreement and what my wishes are again. I thought written and telephone details and close up detailed pictures of the inspiration piece were as good as I could get, but I will need to have more.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Pictures are excellent, but things like the width of the band, the height off the finger, and melee sizes all should have been discussed and decided on prior to the making of the ring.

I hear you on the fears of custom, especially when there is no CAD involved. I hope this can be worked out for you.
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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diamondseeker2006 all those things and more were discussed and decided. That is why this burns so much more.
 

pearaffair

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"Experience is what we get when we didn't get what we wanted." Hard won, but you've definitely got some experience from all this!

Feel better, don't lose sleep over the lost money. We all waste money. Just be happy it wasn't hookers and blow ;-)

(Just trying to cheer ya up!)
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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I couldn't decide if I should start a new thread or hop back on this one (after all it's been over 6 months now)....so for now it's the old thread.

Once again I want to thank everyone that offered their advise, etc. I decided to go ahead and have the ring redone. I've definitely learned from this and am happy to have a ring I am thrilled with now!

ring_2jul16.jpg

img_12047.jpg
 

mrs-b

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That looks great! You really wear it well.

Can I ask you what size the stones in it are?

So glad you went this route; having projects not work is incredibly discouraging, and your end result is beautiful. :)
 

lovedogs

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I love this ring! It looks like different sizes of diamonds within the band, which I think looks fantastic, it reminds me of little stars and a moon :love: :love: I much prefer this version and I'm so glad you're happy!
 

edelweissmaedl

Shiny_Rock
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mrs-blop said:
That looks great! You really wear it well.

Can I ask you what size the stones in it are?

So glad you went this route; having projects not work is incredibly discouraging, and your end result is beautiful. :)

Mrs Blop the largest stones are 10 pt and 7 pt filled with small melee sizes in between.
 

diamondseeker2006

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I am so happy you were able to have it redone like you wanted in the first place! It's beautiful! :love: :appl: You should take some more pics and do a Show Me the Bling thread!
 
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