Wedding disappointed by friends, i guess it''s a tiny vent

[gtn]

OK, so whenever DH and I go to wedding we try to take lots of pictures for our friends. With the exception of our wedding, we have taken over 1000 pictures and given them to the bride and groom the next day. Yes, that''s right, 1000 picture burned on 2 dvds as we take high resolution pictures. Then we give them a DVD of video we took of their wedding after we finish digitizing it. We are not professional photographers or videographers. We do this since we know they will enjoy it and we love them. Now fast forward to our wedding, I''m not expecting a DVD with over 1000 pictures on it, but I was hoping that our friends would share their pictures of our wedding with us. I had to ask them for copies of their pictures and they have given me nothing. I know that they have pictures, one of our friends is a professional studio photographer (I saw him taking pictures) and we took video and pictures for the slideshow and video they used for their rehearsal dinner, they had one professionally done for their wedding. I''m only asking for copies of the pictures they took. Is that too much to ask?

I feel like I''m harassing them when I ask for copies. I know short of actually harassing them, I just need to be patient.

Also, I guess I''m also disappointed because our friends with the exception of our MOH and one of the GM was dead weight. Some of the things that went wrong at my wedding was because of them. They didn''t pay attention they were more intested in themselves and their needs than what we were supposed to do. They complained all the time. One of my BM''s actually wanted to show up to the church right before the ceremony started so she could spend some time with her husband and son. Keep in mind they live 15 minutes away from my church and they whenever her husband travels for work, they all go with him.

I''m sorry for complaining, in spite of everything, I did have a great time at my wedding and everybody told me they had fun, even now, some people are still talking about the fun they had.

 

[decodelighted]

To give you another (possibly happier) way to think about it ... you know when *I* start taking pictures at a wedding/reception? When I''m BORED. Maybe folks were simply having too much fun & didn''t get as many snaps as you''d have liked??

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Don''t harass anybody for pictures because they will be far more likely to give you nothing at all. I had a bride who bothered me for pictures every day for almost a month and in the end I only gave her 2 pictures even though I had more than that. I''m sorry but the day''s over and people are going back to their lives, developing pictures of your wedding is probably not the first thing at the top of their to do list. When they get to it they''ll get to it and if you are patient they will probably give you copies or email them to you. CALM DOWN.

 

[decodelighted]

To give you another (possibly happier) way to think about it ... you know when *I* start taking pictures at a wedding/reception? When I''m BORED. Maybe folks were simply having too much fun & didn''t get as many snaps as you''d have liked??

 

[cammy85]

Not much else to say but I have a ((hug)) for you. I''m sure your friends will slowly get you some pictures! I know I''m a bit of a slacker in that respect unfortunately, but I do eventually get around to doing it!

 

[Shoopy]

Can you maybe send out a mass email with a photobucket (or other photo sharing account) where they can just upload the photos? Do you think that would work?

 

[gtn]

Thanks guys, I just needed to vent and I didn''t want to vent to DH. It''s not like I can change what happened, right?

Deco, I love how you see things. That does make me feel better.

Smurfy, it''s not like they have to develop any pictures, they all took digital pictures, I''ve only asked once, and I''m fighting the urge to ask them again, trust me.

Cammy, thanks for the hug, it''s nice being able to vent about this without hurting anybody''s feelings.

 

[gtn]

Fiery, thanks for the advice. We have done that, still nothing.

 

[Carrots]

if you''re friends aren''t known flakes, hang in there. they''ll come around.

 

[bee*]

That''s such a pity that they didn''t send you on the photos. That would be the type of thing that I''d love to see also. Hopefully they''ll upload them and send them on to you soon.

 

[gtn]

carrot, some are flakes, some aren''t, I''m more disappointed in the ones who aren''t supposed to be flakes.

bee, thanks for understanding. I will keep my head up.

 

[Elmorton]

Hi gtn - at our wedding, I asked a friend to grab my camera and take some pics so we could see 'em the next morning (a tip I got here, actually). The pics were awful, blurry, and everyone was frowning. Felt a little let down. Also, in terms of the "dead weight" thing - I asked my most responsible friend to be an "usherette" and my DH's grandparents ended up sitting in the fourth row, DH's dad in the third, etc. Lousy job, completely. During the reception, people had to stop my MoH from taking the pen that was meant for guests to sign the mat of our engagement photo because she was about to draw mustaches on our faces. For some reason, she thought that would have been funny. I wish no one would have told me - it took months before I could walk past that photo and not shake my head at what could have been. We also had friends who told us that they forgot their gift or it was in the mail and a year later, no gift (not that I care about the gift, but it's really awkward to lie about that...just bring a card or something and sign your name - no gift is required).

Now that it's been over a year, I can't say I'm hurt or angered anymore by any of these actions. I look at our wedding photos and I remember how fun it was and how completely LOVED I felt on that day. I remember the small things our friends did for us to make our day amazing (someone threw all of our flowers from the ceremony site in their car and set them up in our reception hall, completely spur of the moment. Friends helped us put the hall together after the rehearsal. One friend got us champagne because we hadn't stocked the limo- another made a run for water bottles when everyone was parched after the ceremony and waiting for photos). Our friends love us very much - that's why they took the effort to come to our wedding - and continue to show us their support and friendship in ways we don't always expect. It's a bummer that some let us down, just for a moment, on our big day, but that doesn't mean that moment is indicative of the whole run of our friendship or symbolic of the relationships they have with us. Weddings are a strange bird. Sometimes people don't know how to act, they might have emotions they don't know how to explain, etc, and so people do strange things or flake out when you expected them to do the "right thing" whatever that is. I think it's right to be miffed by what friends have done, but it's not right to confront someone or hold a grudge. Continue to do good things for your friends (that's awesome what you do, btw!) and recognize the gestures of friendship, no matter how small, they give to you.

 

[gtn]

elmorton, you are so right, things happen, it''s important to focus on the good and not the bad. I felt like I needed to let it out, but I didn''t want to vent to people who knew the other folks, YKWIM?