Dinner Reception: Dancing Yay or Nay?

[Mayflower25]

Sorry to re-post, but I think this question would be better served with a poll!

Background:

I've scaled my guest list to approximately 80 guests (expected attendance). Of those guests only 20 or so are our friends in their 20's. I'm looking to host a cocktail hour with open bar followed by a formal seated dinner. I'm also planning on having live musicians to play "background" music throughout the evening. Now, is it necessary to have dancing and a DJ? Most likely, only our friends would dance, with family and older guests hanging around socializing. I'd like to keep this as intimate as possible, but am worried that guests might find it odd to have no dancing.

thoughts? thanks much!

 

[PearlDahhhling]

We''re also having a dinner reception and expecting about 75-85 guests and we''re going to have dancing. Most of our guests are family and so they''re a little older, but I don''t think that means they won''t dance! If you pick the right type of music and a DJ who makes things fun, then I think it''ll work. So I vote for dancing!

 

[Haven]

Sometimes it''s the older guests who dance the most at weddings!

Do YOU want to have dancing at your reception? I should share that our first dance together was one of the best moments of our wedding day.

 

[Elmorton]

A friend of mine had a band that played some classics (older folks danced) and then for the last hour or two of the reception, they just popped in CDs. All of a sudden, all the young people were on the floor and having a great time.

I''m pretty anti-DJ, so if I were you, I''d have the musicians play some nice, classic stuff that people can dance to, but I''d let the party roll with some of your favorite dance songs after the musicians leave - but no need to spend the dough for a DJ.

This all hinges on whether you like dancing, though - if you don''t want dancing, then no, I don''t think it''s necessary for a great reception.

 

[Winks_Elf]

I would be shocked to go to any kind of a wedding where there was no dancing. Believe it or not, it's the older crowd who usually winds up getting up and getting down. I love watching my older relatives do the jitterbug and other dances that us "younger" folks (and I use the term loosely since I'll be 40 this summer) were not fortunate enough to be taught. If it's a matter of money, cut back elsewhere but do not skimp on the food or the music. Those are the two key elements that make or break a memorable event.

Forget the live music, and get a DJ. Have them do a mix of Sinatra, Big Band, 50's music, and some more recent dance music and I guarantee everyone will have a great time!

 

[kittybean]

At many weddings I''ve been to, the older people will often dance more than the younger ones! I vote for dancing, as long as you are comfortable with it. I always love dancing at a wedding!

 

[redfaerythinker]

I''m not the boogie down person myself and neither is my fiance. So we plan on having a sit down dinner and then there will be nice jazzy type music and the like so that people can dance or socialize or what have you. But I think it''s your wedding, and that you should be able to do whatever you want.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 2/23/2009 8:17:38 PM
Author: Haven
Sometimes it''s the older guests who dance the most at weddings!

Do YOU want to have dancing at your reception? I should share that our first dance together was one of the best moments of our wedding day.

Ditto Haven. The weddings I have been to have gone pretty much the same. In the beginning of the dancing the DJ plays stuff that the older folks recognize and want to dance to. Eventually after some of them start to filter out and go to bed they would start playing music more geared towards our generation. It seemed to get everyone up on the dance floor at least once!

Thanks for sharing about your first dance Haven. It was something that I had originally wanted to ditch but FMIL said that she really loves watching the newly wedded couple share the moment together. I am now really looking forward to it!

So Mayflower- if you really do want to dance at your wedding I think you should go for it! I think you will be surprised at how many people will get up and let loose!

 

[Mayflower25]

Thanks to everyone for the replies! It seems that general consensus is that dancing is a *must*. I''ll have to speak fo FI about it and see how to negotiate this into our budget and schedule. I agree it would be nice to have! The logistics, however, are driving me nuts!

I suppose I should clarify on my situation: FI and I aren''t big dancers at weddings, and neither is my side of the family (65% of guest list). They come from asian cultures (conservative) and are well into their 60''s. At my sister''s wedding a couple years ago, only one of my aunts danced with her husband. My mom would never be caught on the dance floor, LOL! But then again, she had 150+ guests and allowed children to attend.

However, we feel that mood music is very important and that it warms up the atmosphere. I''m thinking of having a 3-4 piece instrumental samba band throughout the cocktail hour and dinner service. My thoughts were that the reception would end around 9:30 or so, then the "young" crowd could head out to the clubs/bars nearby for the afterparty.

 

[mayachel]

based on your plan for the wedding, I don''t see the need for a DJ. The samba band and post party seems like it will fit the bill well. What will you do about a "first dance?" You could always plan on a little bit IPOD party mix...

 

[Bia]

Date: 2/23/2009 8:17:38 PM
Author: Haven
Sometimes it''s the older guests who dance the most at weddings!

Do YOU want to have dancing at your reception? I should share that our first dance together was one of the best moments of our wedding day.

I was thinking the same thing. At all our family get-togethers (i.e., weddings, parties, dinners, etc) its always a mix of older and younger. If anything, the older people know how to really get down!

If you like to dance, then you should definitely have it. If you''re that into it, then don''t.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

I think people enjoy dancing- if it''s the right music for the age of the crowd.

"Baby got back" and "Cha Cha Slide" may not be appropriate for an older crowd.

Slower, softer rock, or even "oldies" like the Temptations, Elvis, Beatles- stuff from that generation (or their generation) might suit better.

I would be kinda sad if I went to a wedding reception and couldn''t dance (but I''m young and LOVE to dance)

 

[Haven]

We aren''t big dancers, either, and we were married in the morning so we had an afternoon reception.

We ended up choosing an eight-piece band to play throughout the entire reception, and our caterer set up several highboy (sp?) tables around the dancefloor so people who didn''t want to dance would still gravitate toward the action to congregate around the tables and socialize.
It worked! There wasn''t a ton of dancing at our wedding, but with the tables around the dance floor, it didn''t feel empty on the dance floor at all.

 

[violet02]

I have to say that all of the older people at my wedding (we had 80 people) were the ones out on the floor the most. Include in that list my 84 year old Grandma!

And I kid you not, they all started a giant conga line and roped everyone in on it. This is the 60+ crowd I''m talking about here.

Dancing is one of the most fun parts! People danced to everything too, Grandmaster Flash to the Beatles to whatever!

We were aiming for a party vibe though so that worked for us. I loved having a DJ too. You get all the fun music that way if your DJ is good like mine was. Now my friend has a DJ and a live band, he really wanted a big club/party atmosphere. I have to say I enjoyed both, lots of fun. If you have to pick one though do the DJ.