Did you pick it or did he?

[Kaleigh]

Yes, icekid lives in Philly and I am in Bryn Mawr!!!!

 

[jellybean]

I am probably one of the few ladies that had no idea that a proposal was coming!

We had talked about getting married but since we were both students I thought a proposal was waaaaay faaaarrr away. We never discussed rings, nor diamonds at all for that matter! He never asked what shape I wanted, gold or platinum....nothing!

Then one day for my birthday he completely surprised me with a proposal...and ring! I was completely flabergasted, and of course I said yes!

After the initial shock wore off

I realized that I did not like the ring. He used his great grandfather''s diamond (a 0.38ct round) which was fine, but I didn''t like the setting. I found out later that his mom had picked it out (long story there

). I didn''t say anything for a long time but it totally ate me up inside that he really had nothing to do with my e-ring. I was secretly jealous of my friends and other family members who got to pick out their own e-rings or at least had a say in it.

So although I love the fact that he completely surprise me, the ring was not my "dream ring". I have since got a new ring that I completely love and that we both had a say in.

 

[drk]

My husband and I picked out our engagement ring together. I found pricescope and spent months doing research and figuring out what I wanted (he researches everything else for us, but I cared more about getting the perfect diamond than he did). He went to a local jewelers and had a look at settings and stones to get an idea what it was all about. Then we browsed through a few stores together and came to a concensus that we both liked round brilliants, and agreed on a setting we both liked. That took some doing though, because initially I wanted a 5-stone band and he wanted a solitaire. I ended up going with what he preferred because I decided I liked one of the simple solitaire settings a lot too.
We were a bit backwards though, because we had already set a wedding date before we officially got engaged. And then he proposed without a ring, just in a romatic location. We took a weekend trip to New York to go look at stones in person and see the city, and ended up falling for a stone at GOG that was a little larger but lower in colour than the ones I had looked at and put on hold. I feel like we as a couple found something that we BOTH love, that I want to wear every day, and that really fit both our personalities. He''s happy, I''m happy... what more could you ask for! It was a lot more fun to make the purchase into an adventure we could share together.

 

[Dancing Fire]

i pick all my wife''s diamonds.she knows nothing about diamonds,except they sparkles.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

He originally found it and I pretty much approved it. He was showing me a bunch of rings that he had been looking at and my ring really caught my eye. When my mom also said she liked it, he was on the phone to order it immediately. He picked out the center stone later, all by himself.

So I knew about the ring, but he surprised me when he proposed. He did it two days before I actually thought he would, so it was a total surprise.

 

[noobie]

I had absolute total control and decision making........




over how to pay for it.

 

[michela002]

My FI surprised me (the most fabulous engagement story ever.

But of course I''m biased.) We knew we would get engaged, but I thought it was further off than it actually was, because he threw me off b/c he wanted to surprise me. Which I did love!!

But he got a pic of the ring I loved from a friend - so I got the ring I would have picked too.

I do wish sometimes, though, that he had done some research so he would have known a bit more in the buying process. He bought from a jeweler without knowing much and while the end result would have looked the same in theory (i.e. same style ring) I think the preference of "C"s in the centre stone might have been slightly different.

That said, my ring is gorgeous. Unfortunately all my pre-ering research on PS made me that bit pickier than I would have been had I known nothing.

 

[kaylagee]

Our proposal was ringless. Sadly, each ''e-ring'' and additional rings were chosen together - more specifically... I searched and he paid. Maybe a comment here or there but nothing like the in-depth research some of the men do here. We did select our wedding bands together.

I am terribly picky and appreciate control over the designs etc. but, at the same time, I''m jealous of the women who get the surprise rings/jewelry!

To be fair, at that point dh knew much less than I did about diamonds.

He has no excuse now! He knows more and, better yet, has the URL for Pricescope.

 

[Gemklctr]

Date: 8/21/2005 5:21:24 AM
Author: kaylagee
Our proposal was ringless. Sadly, each ''e-ring'' and additional rings were chosen together - more specifically... I searched and he paid. Maybe a comment here or there but nothing like the in-depth research some of the men do here. We did select our wedding bands together.

I am terribly picky and appreciate control over the designs etc. but, at the same time, I''m jealous of the women who get the surprise rings/jewelry!

To be fair, at that point dh knew much less than I did about diamonds.

He has no excuse now! He knows more and, better yet, has the URL for Pricescope.

The first time I got engaged was also ringless, as I had read that the trend (in the mid-eighties) was for young professionals to choose the ring together. She got the ring she wanted, but never let me forget about my screw-up.

The second time, I discussed ring styles generally and had a close friend who is a diamond dealer find the stone (he ended up brokering a deal for me with a siteholder) without her knowledge. I was able to surprise her with the engagement as she had already made elaborate plans for just the 2 of us to celebrate my birthday and both the location and timing were perfect.

 

[TimeTraveller]

Date: 8/19/2005 1:27:32 PM
Author: cinnabar
The British tradition is for the man to propose without a ring, and then the couple choose it together.


It''s the first major purchase as a couple (unless you already live together) and signifies a sharing of decisions that will continue throughout your life as partners.

Seriously Cinnabar? That seems quite different from the traditional way in America, which was for the man to pick out the ring all on his own and surprise the fiancee.

I''m curious, does the British tradition involve the gal paying 50% for the ring since it''s a joint decision?