Did you pick it or did he?

[VuittonGal]

Just curious if you or your husband/fiance picked out your original engagement ring. If he picked it out, are you glad he did for the surprise/romantic factor? If so, did you honestly like what he chose--or did you like it mainly due to the fact that it was a symbol of his love, devotion, commitment and all that blah, blah, blah????

 

[Lorelei]

When we got engaged over 18 years ago, we couldn''t afford very much so we bought a tiny diamond solitaire we both liked. Since then I have been so fortuntate to have acquired more diamonds. I trust my Husband''s judgement but we both agree if I pick out the diamond and setting that his part is to pay for it!!!! I know what I like and how to crunch the numbers and C''s so for an important purchase like that I would rather choose.

Our original e-ring was the best we could afford at the time and I didn''t miss the romance of him picking it out. However he could have given me a curtain ring and I would have been happy with that for what it symbolized. I think times have changed a lot since then, many guys will take the trouble to get educated before purchasing an e-ring and will devote a lot of time to comparing stones, and trying to get their fiance what she loves. Whereas before IMO I think it was more about a guy going into a jewellers and just buying a pretty ring with a diamond in. Of course all this information wasn''t available back then about diamonds, or the different shapes and settings. I think that it is the girl who wears the ring and should have her preferences catered for as the budget allows, but as this ring is such a symbol of a couple''s intention to marry, it is good for the guy to have some input on the ring. I think it depends on the couple as to how they choose the ring and if the surprise factor is very important, to try to give him a clear idea of what you want. so you can get your ideal ring and a surprise at the same time. I think most guys would welcome this as it is a scary experience for them, as they want their fiance to be truly ecstatic with what they choose and are terrified of getting it wrong! I wouldn''t ever part with my original e-ring, it may not be worth much monetarily, but it is the fact that it came from him that makes it priceless. I think many feel the same.

 

[njc]

We picked out 3 or 4 settings together and he got the final say on which one and the diamond was totally his thing. It was a nice combo and he knew he couldnt go wrong with any of them.

 

[ame]

Well I picked the whole kit and caboodle out every time he proposed (long story and its why I loathe tiffany''s with every fiber of my being). But now that I belong to this site Im reconsidering my selection

 

[Sozekeyserman]

Hey VG,

I picked out the diamond, while my girlfriend picked out the ring and told me the shape of stone she wanted. I think it worked out well that way, as I did a lot of research (over 6 months time) about what makes one stone better than another, and where to find the best vendors for loose stones. Because the diamond was much more costly (~6x the price of the ring) it was worthwhile to have me do all the hard work on that half, while she simply found a ring that was appealing to her.

On a side note, I think she would have liked me to magically select a ring she would have liked (how romantic would it be if I could read her mind!?), but we found it more practical to have her pick the ring she''ll be wearing for the rest of her life!

Soze

 

[lilyinct]

I went to several jewelry stores with my FI to pick out the setting- and so glad I did so- the ring styles he was looking at weren''t quite my taste. Not to mention that if I was going to wear something every day for the rest of my life, I thought it should be something I loved.

After picking out the setting for a round diamond- we agreed to leave the actual diamond shopping to him- which he excelled in, by the way.

I loved how we did it- because on the day he proposed, I was surprised because 1. I didn''t know when he had purchased the diamond, so the day itself was a shocker and 2.- I had no idea what the diamond would be like....and though I knew the setting and spent so much time wondering what it would look like- my imagination wasn''t even close.

Wouldn''t change a thing!

-Lily

 

[laney]

He really wanted to do everything himself.

I didn''t want him to get ripped off - or feel that he was. I did a lot of reasearch and hinted to him, that if he''s going to do it himself - he should at least know what a crown and pavillion was..

Then he said.. we''ll you pick a stone out. So I did -- we live near GOG -so we went there to see it. While we were there - we saw another stone - above and beyond my expectations - FI saw it - and purchased it on the spot. We got a plain setting.

And then he took possession of it and wouldn''t let me see it.

He completely surprised me with the proposal.. and wha la'' we were engaged. LOL! Sounds romantic huh! Well, we had been together 8 years, already had purchased a house together and raised a dog. This was "romantic" to me (at this point in our relationship

) and honestly I wouldnt'' have it any other way.

Don''t use my story as an example - but even if you know about it - it doesn''t have to take the romantic part out of it. The "surprise" isn''t the issue. The excitement that you are starting "offically" a new chapter in your life will soon swell and take over any intial feelings! And that''s the good stuff!

 

[jewelgirl]

I had told my husband the shape that I wanted, and what was important to me in a diamond. At the time I was much less educated, and just prioritized the 4 c''s. Then he took that ball and ran with it.

I was very pleased with the results, I was very surprised when he asked me even thought I knew it was coming at some point, and I miss that ring SOOOOOOOO much. As I have said before Iwould give up the replaement I just bought, that is technically superior to my first engagement ring in every way, if the thief who stole my first one would magically return it to me.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

We picked out the stone together and I chose the setting. There wasn''t much surprise in the proposal, but it was still very special.

 

[lmurden]

Me and my fiancé discussed what kind of engagement ring that I would be getting. He is partial to the simple yet elegant solitaire setting. I must admit while he was away in Iraq my head was spinning and I new that I needed to change my setting. When he got back from Iraq and had a chance to breathe I told him that I wanted a matching wedding set with diamonds down the band and he said ok. At the end of the day I know that I am very lucky because I have a ring that I have is to die for now!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I picked out my setting myself which I think he was relieved about. He picked out the stone including what cut and size.

 

[flutterby]

We are still in the process. I believe the stone is selected, just waiting to get the certs back to make sure the ruby is what she said it was. I have already spent several hours with the jeweler discussing and drawing my ring. I dont know if it is better this way or not. He certainly wouldnt have gotten me a ruby, and he initially disliked the halo settings....

Who knows if it will be a romantic proposal or not, since we are already starting to plan the wedding, I know it is coming. But I hope at least there will be some romance in this project (other than the romance that he wants me to be completely happy)

 

[sjz]

My husband is a bit impulsive, and I really had no input into my first engagement ring. We were shopping one day together and he was looking at something else in the jewelry store, and I wondered over to the diamond case just to browse. The next thing I knew, he walked up behind me and asked the sales girl to pull out the ring I happened to be standing in front of at the moment. It was a marquise shaped diamond with baguettes on either side and channel set rounds in the shank. I had always pictured a RB solitaire. Before I could get my wits about me and say anything, he said "we''ll take it" and bought it for me and put it on my finger pretty much right then and there (actually, he waited until we got to the parking lot...how romantic

).

I never really liked that ring. For one thing it looked too much like the engagement ring given to me by my ex, which was also a marquise. Bad karma. I also was somewhat disappointed in the style, since I''d wanted a solitare. I wasn''t even sentimental about it, since I felt that our engagement lacked a certain romantic aspect (I''ve never let him live that down, either...

). The final reason I didn''t like it was because I never found a wedding band that actually went well with it. I tried on so many styles, and nothing really looked right.

When we got married, we decided to get matching gold bands, and I thought maybe I''d wear the ering as a RH ring. But I really really craved the look of a simple solitare with a wedding band. So I finall got up the nerve to tell him how I really felt. He was very understanding, and told me to get whatever I wanted, he was fine with it. So I went back to the store where he originally purchased the ring. They had a trade-up policy that was very generous, and I was able to trade for the .75 solitaire in a 6 prong yellow gold setting. At the same time, I also got a diamond ring guard to wear with the solitare when I wanted something fancier than just the solitaire and my plain gold band. I didn''t know as much about diamonds back then, and I probably would have chosen a better cut diamond in a different color and clarity grade if I had known then what I know now. A few months ago, I reset the .75 solitare in a white gold setting and decided that I wanted a new diamond of ideal cut. So, I purchased a new .50ct ACA diamond set in yellow gold. I''ve already traded that one up twice, but I think I''m finally happy with the one I have, which is a .76ct.

 

[jcrow]

yeh we are in the midst of it all right now. i''m torn on it all too.
we''ve gone looking together and agreed on the style- a solitaire and we like a couple of cuts- RB, cushion and Asscher.
thanks to this site i have learned SO much! i give him little bits of info that i daily learn- which is probably driving him crazy. i know we both want the proposal to be very special, but picking out the stone together would be wonderful in addition.

 

[nutella]

He picked it. And after all the research and hints I gave him (I went as far as printing out things from the internet and blatantly giving them to him!)I wound up with a princess b/c he thought I wanted one- meanwhile it was never on one of those print outs! I was leaning towards a RB or oval....oh well! After I get my wedding ring- I am planning to get my e-ring setting re-done (but I firgured that I would keep the center stone for nostalgia?)

 

[FD21Bride]

My fiance picked out the diamond and setting by himself. I did give him hints like a princess cut...quality over size...white gold or platinum. It came as a set and I really like the engagement ring portion but not too wild over the band that matches. I can''t wear my e-ring to work so I was going to rely on just wearing my wedding band but since the band has a slight wave-like appearance (hard to describe and I don''t have any pics) it looks odd by itself. He is TOTALLY against resetting the diamond so... I guess I''ll have to buy another one to wear to work.

 

[cinnabar]

The British tradition is for the man to propose without a ring, and then the couple choose it together.

It''s the first major purchase as a couple (unless you already live together) and signifies a sharing of decisions that will continue throughout your life as partners.

In our case, his input was "I''d prefer a plain solitaire" and mine was "If we go with that, then I want a fancy shape diamond and a cathedral setting". If he''d chosen on his own, I''d have got a half carat, round diamond in a plain Tiffany. If I''d chosen on my own, I''d have got a centre Ceylon sapphire with diamond sidestones. Our initial ideas couldn''t have been much more different, but by choosing together we got something that symbolises "us" rather than just one person.

 

[laney]

Date: 8/19/2005 1:27:32 PM
Author: cinnabar
The British tradition is for the man to propose without a ring, and then the couple choose it together.


It''s the first major purchase as a couple (unless you already live together) and signifies a sharing of decisions that will continue throughout your life as partners.

Wow, that''s pretty cool.

So we did follow a tradition! LOL!

 

[nutella]

I definitely like the British tradition!

 

[BeaudryBabe]

I already had a beautiful three stone ring with a sapphire center that I wore every day. Loved it and still do. So, when the time came and we decided to get married, I told him that I did not want an engagement ring, that I would continue wearing my three stone and we would get an eternity band to work with it. After all, it''s not about the ring.

Don''t get me wrong, I love fine jewelry, but that money was well spent on a more elaborate celebration, our wedding days. (We got married twice in four months, but that''s another story).

Hey, we would all love it if our men surprised with the most beautiful ring, one which we would have chosen ourselves, but, does that really happen?

 

[Kaleigh]

My husband did pick out my original ering. He was given a family stone and did show it to me to see if it was ok to use, and I loved it. It was set in a simple tiffany setting. My upgrade I picked out.

 

[valeria101]

Date: 8/19/2005 2:00:55 PM
Author: BeaudryBabe

Hey, we would all love it if our men surprised with the most beautiful ring, one which we would have chosen ourselves, but, does that really happen?

No

not if you do have some prefferences of you own that is. And I would bet Pricescopers do have them

Cinnabar, I didn't know that is the traditional UK way! A couple of British friends did it that way, but I thought they were a happy minority.

 

[cutes814]

We are still in the process. My bf and I chose the diamond and the setting together. We''re having the setting custom made. After everything was chosen, I stayed out of the whole process. I don''t know when the ring is supposed to be done, neither did I ask. When everything is complete, our jeweler will contact him and he''ll pick it up. For all I know, he could have the ring already!

I love the fact that we got to work on this ring together because it symbolized "us". A lot of my friends say they prefer their bf to pick it out himself and surprise them, so they have no idea that the proposal is coming. They think the way I did it takes out the surprise element. I disagree with them. Who knows when it is going to happen? Sure, I''m not going to be COMPLETELY surprised because I know the ring is being made, but I''ve never seen the ring and I have no idea when it will happen. I also think the anticipation that builds up while I wait for the proposal is even more exciting!

 

[Mara]

I am a huge researcher so I did all the legwork on figuring out what I wanted. We chose the stone together at our local jewelers and figured out the setting together too after looking at a bunch of pictures and then modeling it somewhat after our jeweler''s wife''s ring. Then he surprised me (not really since I knew it was coming and kind of when) with the proposal at a restaurant and the finished piece.

Now I am on my 3rd stone but I still love my original set that we chose and custom made together. Sometimes though I think a solitaire would be fun to try out for a while.

I asked him what he would have gotten me if I had not been so involved and he said ''probably something similar to what you have now'' but I don''t think so...he is not that detail oriented, aka he never would have thought to find PriceScope and do resarch etc. I think he would have gone into the local jewelers and chosen a setting that they had there, aka something like A Jaffe which I don''t love because their stuff is more heavy on the metal than I like in general...and I probably would have gotten something like a 1c stone in a setting with maybe some sort of small sidestones. I doubt he would have chosen a pave or eternity setting as that was not really as popular as it is now...it was just starting to come out.

So I''m very glad I was involved, but I kind of missed the whole REAL surprise proposal with the ring and all that. Oh well can''t have it both ways!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/19/2005 3:08:43 PM
Author: Mara
I asked him what he would have gotten me if I had not been so involved and he said ''probably something similar to what you have now'' but I don''t think so...he is not that detail oriented, aka he never would have thought to find PriceScope and do resarch etc. I think he would have gone into the local jewelers and chosen a setting that they had there, aka something like A Jaffe which I don''t love because their stuff is more heavy on the metal than I like in general...and I probably would have gotten something like a 1c stone in a setting with maybe some sort of small sidestones. I doubt he would have chosen a pave or eternity setting as that was not really as popular as it is now...it was just starting to come out.


So I''m very glad I was involved, but I kind of missed the whole REAL surprise proposal with the ring and all that. Oh well can''t have it both ways!

yeh- i asked my BF the other day what he would have picked out on his own. after a second of thought, he said "i would have done you right" i left it at that. That''s all i need.

 

[Mara]

jcrow when he told me that, I just said ''really!'' and left it at that as well.

 

[icekid]

well, I sent him links to a few stones that I liked. He called WF and talked with them, and then decided which one he wanted. My custom ring was something we decided on together. I''m the researcher of the two of us, so mostly he had no idea what was going on. I told him what I wanted, and then he told WF. Not the most efficient system, to say the least. But he insisted on being the one to talk with them. And I''m currently waiting for the proposal and have not seen the ring, so hopefully it came out as planned

 

[Kaleigh]

Icekid, I bet you anything it happens this weekend!!!! I hope you got that manicure I told you to get. Then we can meet for lunch and go to jewelers row, my treat!!!!

 

[curlygirl]

We shopped around together for a while but I couldn''t decide what I wanted and didn''t really know where to go. My father finally turned me on to the fact that he has a jeweler friend in the Diamond District who we could go to for advice, etc. Well, we fell in love with him and his stones! We met with him twice, I was armed with photos (mostly Tiffany Legacy and JB Star) and ideas and the jeweler understood exactly what I wanted. That was it. I didn''t see anything while the process was going on. I knew it was time for me to step back--I had been so specific about what I wanted and I really trusted my jeweler, especially because he knows my family and wouldn''t want to do anything to ruin the friendship! The actual proposal was a surprise and since I really didn''t know what the ring would look like in person, it was a real thrill when he gave it to me. I don''t feel bad at all about being involved in the process. I knew I had to point him in the right direction and I think it was a relief for him to know that I was getting what I asked for!!

 

[BeaudryBabe]

Hey Kaleigh and Icekid:

Jewelers Row, are you both Philly girls?