Diamond ADD - how did you figure out what you wanted???

[pearaffair]

Hi, my name is Pearaffair, and I have Diamond ADD.

I fall in love with a style, neeeeeed to have it, but one week later I'm obsessed with something else. I would love to calm down and have THE ONE STYLE so that I can put my money onto something that will last, instead of buy/re-sell, rinse, and repeat.

I know many PSers here have gone down the path of seeking perfection... and it's not always easy! How did you figure out what you wanted? Is trial and error the only way?

 

[acaw2015]

Well, I think you may have seen how psers tend to upgrade/change quite often. That is okay too! That said I think what you need to do is to relax a little. Let this purchase take some time and dont buy the first thing you see.

 

[poshmommy]

What are your priorities? Finger coverage? Color? Uniqueness? I think you need to thing about exactly what YOU want out of this upgrade first, then narrow it from there.

 

[ringo865]

And, while you're figuring it out, keep depositing into your bling fund. By the time you know what you want, you'll have a bigger budget

 

[pearaffair]

Well, I think you may have seen how psers tend to upgrade/change quite often. That is okay too! That said I think what you need to do is to relax a little. Let this purchase take some time and dont buy the first thing you see.

Haha yes... I have seen some PSers with diamond ADD... perhaps you don't know what you REALLY like until you try it?

Relaxing a little is a great idea. I'm starting a GIA Graduate Diamonds course today, and my plan is to not buy anything (maybe) until I'm done the course. Kind of like a reward for finishing and also I'll be more educated by then. Breathe, just breathe.

What are your priorities? Finger coverage? Color? Uniqueness? I think you need to thing about exactly what YOU want out of this upgrade first, then narrow it from there.

Such good questions!! The trouble is, I think I want more than one thing. I want a huge blingin' unique ring with excellent finger coverage, but I also want something classic and tasteful and high quality. I may need to make a list and then prioritize!

Thanks for the good questions. I'm going to think on this. What were your goals when last hunting?

And, while you're figuring it out, keep depositing into your bling fund. By the time you know what you want, you'll have a bigger budget

Yesssss!!! More money, more problems. I mean, options! More options! That's what I meant !

 

[mrs-b]

Hi pearaffair

I had a few things I wanted, and I satisfied my own particular cravings by getting them all...over time.

I wanted a large solitaire (3.61ct diamond - check) but I also wanted a ring with complete finger coverage, so I got a 7 stone ring (check). I wanted something old and colorful (antique ruby and diamond five stone in engraved rose gold setting made in 1910 - check). I wanted a big flower ring because I like that whole shape (Steven Kirsch flower ring with 2+ctw in diamonds circling a 2ct ceylonese sapphire - check). I wanted a sturdy easy-to-wear eternity (2ctw asscher band in platinum - check), but also a yellow gold eternity, bead set, with milgrain (2.7ctw eternity in 18kt - check). I wanted a BUNCH of plain bands (18kt yellow gold, palladium, 18kt rose gold bands - all 3mm wide and 2.3mm thick - check), and then a selection of anniversary bands of a few different widths and metals to complement the plain bands (check, check, check, check and check). I wanted something by Leon Mege - just because I love his work (1.02ct bead set eternity in platinum - check) and I wanted a large 3 stone (3.61ct stone is going into a three stone setting early next year - almost check). Lastly, I wanted a small solitaire - just because I think they are SO elegant (almost check - got the stone, not the setting).

Now ask me how old I am and how long I had to wait for this collection.....

A friend of mine once said to me something about budgeting - and I thought it was incredibly smart and I've applied it ever since:

You can have whatever you want. You just can't have EVERYTHING you want.

Work out what you want the MOST - and do that. There's no crime in wanting multiple rings - but they take time - sometimes a LOT of time. So make your prioritized list and start at the top. Scratch the biggest itches first, then work your way down.

I love the 'one ring to rule them all' concept. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work for me. I like variety and there's just too many pretty things out there that I'd like the opportunity to enjoy. So I did exactly what i think would work for you; I made a list, and then over the years I worked through it.

And in the waiting, some things dropped off, and some came onto the list. There's no need to stick to one thing only if you're not that person. I'm not that person, and I love my collection and enjoy it actively. And here's a big confession.....(don't tell anyone, ok?)....

Sometimes, in the evening, I'll bring my ring box out as I sit in front of the TV with my husband. The first time I did it, I was comparing all sorts of different combos, and learning about the personality of each piece. I would try them on, look from different angles, try it with a friend - or two friends - or switch out the first ring, and so on and so on. My husband said to me "What are you doing?" I said - "I'm playing rings." So ever since, when I get my jewelry box out, we call it 'playing rings'. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best games in the whole world! So I actively enjoy my pieces - wearing them, playing with them, mixing them up, and so on and so on.

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.
2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.
3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.
4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.
5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.
6) Set an end point - and stick to it.
7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.
Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.

 

[BlingDreams]

Hi pearaffair

I had a few things I wanted, and I satisfied my own particular cravings by getting them all...over time.

I wanted a large solitaire (3.61ct diamond - check) but I also wanted a ring with complete finger coverage, so I got a 7 stone ring (check). I wanted something old and colorful (antique ruby and diamond five stone in engraved rose gold setting made in 1910 - check). I wanted a big flower ring because I like that whole shape (Steven Kirsch flower ring with 2+ctw in diamonds circling a 2ct ceylonese sapphire - check). I wanted a sturdy easy-to-wear eternity (2ctw asscher band in platinum - check), but also a yellow gold eternity, bead set, with milgrain (2.7ctw eternity in 18kt - check). I wanted a BUNCH of plain bands (18kt yellow gold, palladium, 18kt rose gold bands - all 3mm wide and 2.3mm thick - check), and then a selection of anniversary bands of a few different widths and metals to complement the plain bands (check, check, check, check and check). I wanted something by Leon Mege - just because I love his work (1.02ct bead set eternity in platinum - check) and I wanted a large 3 stone (3.61ct stone is going into a three stone setting early next year - almost check). Lastly, I wanted a small solitaire - just because I think they are SO elegant (almost check - got the stone, not the setting).

Now ask me how old I am and how long I had to wait for this collection.....

A friend of mine once said to me something about budgeting - and I thought it was incredibly smart and I've applied it ever since:

You can have whatever you want. You just can't have EVERYTHING you want.

Work out what you want the MOST - and do that. There's no crime in wanting multiple rings - but they take time - sometimes a LOT of time. So make your prioritized list and start at the top. Scratch the biggest itches first, then work your way down.

I love the 'one ring to rule them all' concept. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work for me. I like variety and there's just too many pretty things out there that I'd like the opportunity to enjoy. So I did exactly what i think would work for you; I made a list, and then over the years I worked through it.

And in the waiting, some things dropped off, and some came onto the list. There's no need to stick to one thing only if you're not that person. I'm not that person, and I love my collection and enjoy it actively. And here's a big confession.....(don't tell anyone, ok?)....

Sometimes, in the evening, I'll bring my ring box out as I sit in front of the TV with my husband. The first time I did it, I was comparing all sorts of different combos, and learning about the personality of each piece. I would try them on, look from different angles, try it with a friend - or two friends - or switch out the first ring, and so on and so on. My husband said to me "What are you doing?" I said - "I'm playing rings." So ever since, when I get my jewelry box out, we call it 'playing rings'. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best games in the whole world! So I actively enjoy my pieces - wearing them, playing with them, mixing them up, and so on and so on.

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.
2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.
3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.
4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.
5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.
6) Set an end point - and stick to it.
7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.
Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.

What a fantastic post!! Definitely words to live by.

 

[PierreBear]

You are not alone! I have wavered from time to time as well. Also seeing the rings on the forums, I thought I coveted certain styles (halos to be specific) but once I tried it on, it just didn't seem like me or it wasn't something that I felt comfortable wearing. I now admire them online but understand it's not going to be on my desire list. Hopefully trying on as many rings as you can will eliminate options or steer you in the right direction as you are making the priority list.

I have the same fear with an upcoming upgrade. I told DH that I am glad the anniversary date is 2 years out to make sure that I am still wanting the same style/criteria etc. But who knows... trends change and people's desires change so it is nice to have different rings that achieve different wants as Mrs-B described above. Good luck and keep us posted on your list!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Hi pearaffair

I had a few things I wanted, and I satisfied my own particular cravings by getting them all...over time.

I wanted a large solitaire (3.61ct diamond - check) but I also wanted a ring with complete finger coverage, so I got a 7 stone ring (check). I wanted something old and colorful (antique ruby and diamond five stone in engraved rose gold setting made in 1910 - check). I wanted a big flower ring because I like that whole shape (Steven Kirsch flower ring with 2+ctw in diamonds circling a 2ct ceylonese sapphire - check). I wanted a sturdy easy-to-wear eternity (2ctw asscher band in platinum - check), but also a yellow gold eternity, bead set, with milgrain (2.7ctw eternity in 18kt - check). I wanted a BUNCH of plain bands (18kt yellow gold, palladium, 18kt rose gold bands - all 3mm wide and 2.3mm thick - check), and then a selection of anniversary bands of a few different widths and metals to complement the plain bands (check, check, check, check and check). I wanted something by Leon Mege - just because I love his work (1.02ct bead set eternity in platinum - check) and I wanted a large 3 stone (3.61ct stone is going into a three stone setting early next year - almost check). Lastly, I wanted a small solitaire - just because I think they are SO elegant (almost check - got the stone, not the setting).

Now ask me how old I am and how long I had to wait for this collection.....

A friend of mine once said to me something about budgeting - and I thought it was incredibly smart and I've applied it ever since:

You can have whatever you want. You just can't have EVERYTHING you want.

Work out what you want the MOST - and do that. There's no crime in wanting multiple rings - but they take time - sometimes a LOT of time. So make your prioritized list and start at the top. Scratch the biggest itches first, then work your way down.

I love the 'one ring to rule them all' concept. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work for me. I like variety and there's just too many pretty things out there that I'd like the opportunity to enjoy. So I did exactly what i think would work for you; I made a list, and then over the years I worked through it.

And in the waiting, some things dropped off, and some came onto the list. There's no need to stick to one thing only if you're not that person. I'm not that person, and I love my collection and enjoy it actively. And here's a big confession.....(don't tell anyone, ok?)....

Sometimes, in the evening, I'll bring my ring box out as I sit in front of the TV with my husband. The first time I did it, I was comparing all sorts of different combos, and learning about the personality of each piece. I would try them on, look from different angles, try it with a friend - or two friends - or switch out the first ring, and so on and so on. My husband said to me "What are you doing?" I said - "I'm playing rings." So ever since, when I get my jewelry box out, we call it 'playing rings'. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best games in the whole world! So I actively enjoy my pieces - wearing them, playing with them, mixing them up, and so on and so on.

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.
2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.
3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.
4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.
5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.
6) Set an end point - and stick to it.
7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.
Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.

So much sage advice here and I love that mrs-b loves playing in her jewelry box. She has some beautiful pieces and so many here can relate to getting that much enjoyment out of beautiful jewelry!

 

[Austina]

Well, as someone who didn't have an ER because I wasn't into jewellery then, my tastes have definitely changed over the years.

Just recently, I decided I'd like a ring to celebrate a big b'day and anniversary.

I thought I knew what I wanted, so looked at a gazillion settings and narrowed it down to a few. I then saw all the lovely ladies on here and their beautiful round solitaires. So I started looking at those. The budget went up and up to get something sizeable enough for my huge paw, then just before I pulled the trigger on the purchase, I had a lightbulb moment.

I realised that, much as I loved all the rounds that I saw on here, it wasn't me, and I was getting carried along. So I went back to the drawing board and my original quest, which had been for a pear or marquise.

Part of my thinking too was that it would be lovely to have a huge round solitaire, but in reality, with my lifestyle, it would be another ring sitting in the safe, only worn on high days and holidays.

So I did my research, and eventually settled on a marquise. My other deciding factor was that I only like to wear one ring on a finger, rather than stack, so the setting needed to give me good coverage, and be reasonably low profile so that I didn't damage the edges of the stone.

So, I sourced the diamond, found the setting, discussed it with the makers, paid my money, and waited for it to arrive. It's exactly what I wanted, and more to the point, I know I'm going to wear it forever.

 

[december-fire]

Hi pearaffair

I had a few things I wanted, and I satisfied my own particular cravings by getting them all...over time.

I wanted a large solitaire (3.61ct diamond - check) but I also wanted a ring with complete finger coverage, so I got a 7 stone ring (check). I wanted something old and colorful (antique ruby and diamond five stone in engraved rose gold setting made in 1910 - check). I wanted a big flower ring because I like that whole shape (Steven Kirsch flower ring with 2+ctw in diamonds circling a 2ct ceylonese sapphire - check). I wanted a sturdy easy-to-wear eternity (2ctw asscher band in platinum - check), but also a yellow gold eternity, bead set, with milgrain (2.7ctw eternity in 18kt - check). I wanted a BUNCH of plain bands (18kt yellow gold, palladium, 18kt rose gold bands - all 3mm wide and 2.3mm thick - check), and then a selection of anniversary bands of a few different widths and metals to complement the plain bands (check, check, check, check and check). I wanted something by Leon Mege - just because I love his work (1.02ct bead set eternity in platinum - check) and I wanted a large 3 stone (3.61ct stone is going into a three stone setting early next year - almost check). Lastly, I wanted a small solitaire - just because I think they are SO elegant (almost check - got the stone, not the setting).

Now ask me how old I am and how long I had to wait for this collection.....

A friend of mine once said to me something about budgeting - and I thought it was incredibly smart and I've applied it ever since:

You can have whatever you want. You just can't have EVERYTHING you want.

Work out what you want the MOST - and do that. There's no crime in wanting multiple rings - but they take time - sometimes a LOT of time. So make your prioritized list and start at the top. Scratch the biggest itches first, then work your way down.

I love the 'one ring to rule them all' concept. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work for me. I like variety and there's just too many pretty things out there that I'd like the opportunity to enjoy. So I did exactly what i think would work for you; I made a list, and then over the years I worked through it.

And in the waiting, some things dropped off, and some came onto the list. There's no need to stick to one thing only if you're not that person. I'm not that person, and I love my collection and enjoy it actively. And here's a big confession.....(don't tell anyone, ok?)....

Sometimes, in the evening, I'll bring my ring box out as I sit in front of the TV with my husband. The first time I did it, I was comparing all sorts of different combos, and learning about the personality of each piece. I would try them on, look from different angles, try it with a friend - or two friends - or switch out the first ring, and so on and so on. My husband said to me "What are you doing?" I said - "I'm playing rings." So ever since, when I get my jewelry box out, we call it 'playing rings'. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best games in the whole world! So I actively enjoy my pieces - wearing them, playing with them, mixing them up, and so on and so on.

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.
2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.
3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.
4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.
5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.
6) Set an end point - and stick to it.
7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.
Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.

mrs-b, wonderful advice! Thank you!

Your guiding principles (especially #8 ) are great!

Would you mind expanding on #6 "Set an end point - and stick to it." I'm not sure what you mean by that one.

Thanks!

 

[pearaffair]

Hi pearaffair

I had a few things I wanted, and I satisfied my own particular cravings by getting them all...over time.

I wanted a large solitaire (3.61ct diamond - check) but I also wanted a ring with complete finger coverage, so I got a 7 stone ring (check). I wanted something old and colorful (antique ruby and diamond five stone in engraved rose gold setting made in 1910 - check). I wanted a big flower ring because I like that whole shape (Steven Kirsch flower ring with 2+ctw in diamonds circling a 2ct ceylonese sapphire - check). I wanted a sturdy easy-to-wear eternity (2ctw asscher band in platinum - check), but also a yellow gold eternity, bead set, with milgrain (2.7ctw eternity in 18kt - check). I wanted a BUNCH of plain bands (18kt yellow gold, palladium, 18kt rose gold bands - all 3mm wide and 2.3mm thick - check), and then a selection of anniversary bands of a few different widths and metals to complement the plain bands (check, check, check, check and check). I wanted something by Leon Mege - just because I love his work (1.02ct bead set eternity in platinum - check) and I wanted a large 3 stone (3.61ct stone is going into a three stone setting early next year - almost check). Lastly, I wanted a small solitaire - just because I think they are SO elegant (almost check - got the stone, not the setting).

Now ask me how old I am and how long I had to wait for this collection.....

I won't be rude enough to ask... but is it safe to say that this has taken over ten years to amass such a gorgeous collection?

A friend of mine once said to me something about budgeting - and I thought it was incredibly smart and I've applied it ever since:

You can have whatever you want. You just can't have EVERYTHING you want.

This is SO TRUE and I have heard it been said by my hero, Canadian Financial Guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade! Worth repeating though, and very fitting here.

Work out what you want the MOST - and do that. There's no crime in wanting multiple rings - but they take time - sometimes a LOT of time. So make your prioritized list and start at the top. Scratch the biggest itches first, then work your way down.

Sounds like fun homework!

I love the 'one ring to rule them all' concept. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work for me. I like variety and there's just too many pretty things out there that I'd like the opportunity to enjoy. So I did exactly what i think would work for you; I made a list, and then over the years I worked through it.

I think we are cut from the same cloth. I keep trying to want ONE RING but really, I love them all!

And in the waiting, some things dropped off, and some came onto the list. There's no need to stick to one thing only if you're not that person. I'm not that person, and I love my collection and enjoy it actively. And here's a big confession.....(don't tell anyone, ok?)....

Sometimes, in the evening, I'll bring my ring box out as I sit in front of the TV with my husband. The first time I did it, I was comparing all sorts of different combos, and learning about the personality of each piece. I would try them on, look from different angles, try it with a friend - or two friends - or switch out the first ring, and so on and so on. My husband said to me "What are you doing?" I said - "I'm playing rings." So ever since, when I get my jewelry box out, we call it 'playing rings'. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best games in the whole world! So I actively enjoy my pieces - wearing them, playing with them, mixing them up, and so on and so on.

Mrs-B, oh how I love you! I do this too!!!!! Haha I play with my rings and I sit by my husband and I say to him, "What do you think of this stack?" and he, amazing man that he is, will say to me, "Oh yes, very nice." LOL! I love having a little collection and I think it is part of why I could never own just one ring, try as I might. I also like playing with other people's rings... I have done it with my mom's and my grandmother's and I love asking for stories about them... ahhh so fun. Best game ever, I have to agree!!

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.

This wisdom is GOLD and 100% true. I have already had a taste of it. I have tried buying simulants and diamonds of a lower quality than I actually want... and they leave me dissatisfied. It's just wasted money.

2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.

I love this, too. I feel very sentimental about any jewellery my husband has bought me! Great advice for anyone. A gift is not easily replaced.

3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.

Difficult to follow! But sound advice.

4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.

Can you give me an example?

5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.

Dangerous!!!! But oh so true.

6) Set an end point - and stick to it.

Like December-Fire, I would love you to expand on this.

7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.

It's true.

Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Sounds like there's a story there!!

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.

Thank you so, so so so much for taking the time to write all of this. I feel that I will truly benefit from the wisdom of your experience (and others will, too!). You offer some really sage advice and I love hearing from someone that I can relate to so profoundly. Thank you!!!

 

[mrs-b]

Hi pearaffair and december-fire. My apologies for not getting back to you sooner.

Re finding other ways to do things - really thinking through what you're doing and what you're trying to achieve is key. Three examples: I have an unset .95 stone. It's a beautiful, F VS2 H&A stone. But after wearing a 3.61 solitaire for a while, a .95 is visually too much of a leap for me to make and wear comfortably. So I was thinking about side stones, to flesh it out. But then I remembered I have a Tiffany band I haven't been wearing, with diamonds in it exactly the right size to circle my .95. After thinking about it, I realized that my issue with the .95 was that it's just too small for my fingers. I was planning on selling the Tiffany band, but instead of selling it, and buying new side stones, I wondered if I could use the stones in it to surround my .95 stone to give me the finger presence I want in a design I like (and I love flower rings, so this works for me). I'd also seen a DKJ flower ring that I loved and had already contacted them about and was thinking of replicating. So - once I realized that what I wanted was finger coverage, I abandoned the 3 stone idea and will go with the cluster plan.

In a different cluster sapphire and diamond ring I own, I have a sapphire center. It originally had a diamond center - 1.3ct E VS2. I paid quite a lot of money for the stone which was going in to what was ostensibly a dress ring. So I pulled out the diamond, put in a sapphire, and saved about 10k. And as it turns out, I also prefer it.

I've wanted a pear drop pendant for a long time. I bided my time and one year GOG had a Fall Sale - and I bought a .79 ct I SI2 pear. It's somewhere between an old and a modern cut, with slightly larger than normal faceting and no bowtie. I bought it for $800. I halo'd it to disguise the color, used some 3 point stones out of a pendant I was no longer wearing, got a chain wholesale, and ended up with my BEAUTIFUL custom made 1.22ctw halo'd pear pendant in 18kt for roughly $1200 - including the chain! I think that's an AWESOME deal. So waiting, planning, and knowing what you want - while still being flexible - is key.

As for setting an end point: I think it's worthwhile to work out if collecting jewelry is a lifelong hobby you want to pursue, or if you have a set list of things or 'looks' you want to achieve and a cut-off after you've acquired those pieces. I know I'll buy the occasional piece on and off all my life. But my real goal is a set list of things I've wanted - in one form or another - for 10 years. I'm hoping to finish at the end of next year.

And remember to 'look up'. Like the person who goes through life staring at their cell phone, jewelry obsession can be a bit like that. There's lots of cool ways to spend one's money - jewelry shouldn't be the only one.

And all of that is only my opinion and comes with a 100% disclaimer!

 

[ringbling17]

Hi, my name is Pearaffair, and I have Diamond ADD.

I fall in love with a style, neeeeeed to have it, but one week later I'm obsessed with something else. I would love to calm down and have THE ONE STYLE so that I can put my money onto something that will last, instead of buy/re-sell, rinse, and repeat.

I know many PSers here have gone down the path of seeking perfection... and it's not always easy! How did you figure out what you wanted? Is trial and error the only way?

I think that's the dangerous thing about being on PS, you find so many styles you love and it makes the final choice so hard!
I think you will find that many of us that are newly married/getting married are more focused on finding the one perfect ring, while those of us who have been married a while have a few styles that we like to mix up. Also, over time your style will change. I used to have a pave setting and now my style has changed to a simple solitaire look, but even that I have a hard time trying to figure out because there are so many choices for simple solitaires.
For myself, I have my new upgrade which I love in terms of size because I would never in my wildest dreams think I would own a diamond over 3 carats. It is my main ring. Since receiving it I have only taken it off to clean it or while I am at work and once I finish work, I plop it back onto my knobby finger. I would eventually like to find a permanent setting for it, but I also love the setting that it is currently in. So I'm in no rush. It was an early 25th anniversary ring, but I only just celebrated my 24th on June 2nd, so I'm thinking next year for my 25th, I will get it permanently set.
I have other rings though that I have acquired over time as well as a whole bunch of bands. So, having those other rings has helped me with my obsessions, so to speak. I also have a pretty fabulous necklace/pendant collection which I haven't posted here, my most recent one being the Tiffany Enchanted rose gold rose cut butterfly in December (sorry, had to put it out there because I absolutely love it!!!)
I think over time you will acquire things. The funny thing is that when I first came to PS in 2003, I didn't even have an engagement ring. We got married with plain gold wedding bands and I discovered PS while trying to find a 10 year anniversary ring.

 

[ringbling17]

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.
2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.
3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.
4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.
5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.
6) Set an end point - and stick to it.
7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.
Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.[/QUOTE]

Hi mrs-b,
I have to agree with everything you wrote here! Especially the last one- never ever let your MIL see your jewelry box! LOL!

Off topic, but I just wanted to post this about my MIL. I once decided to give my MIL a 7 diamond princess cut band that I purchased off DB. I had it polished and cleaned and gave it to her for mother's day. I had traded in a ring and given money on top of that to purchase it. I never saw her wear any rings, so I thought being a good DIL, I would give her something nice. It even came with an (overinflated) appraisal for $3200.
She accepted it and all, but then the following year, she came up to me and told me it was fake!!! I asked her why she would say that and she said my SIL told her it had to be otherwise why would I give it to her. As is, her English isn't great and I don't speak her language so I was surprised she could even tell me all of that, so I knew it was mostly my SIL's thoughts. I was so offended, I asked her to give it back to me. She didn't. I went up to my room and showed her the appraisal. I said if she didn't believe it was real, just give it back to me. She still didn't give it back to me and to this day I don't know what happened to it, but I've never seen her wear it.
That was the last time I ever got her a gift.

 

[mrs-b]

Good lord, kayla....!!!

 

[pearaffair]

Wow Kayla... intense story!! Your gift was so thoughtful and special... yikes! Maybe SIL was envious and angling for her mom to give it to her?

 

[LLJsmom]

I have a few guiding principles tho;

1) Buy exactly what you want - anything else will get sold at a loss.
2) Don't sell the pieces your husband buys you - my game is not his game, and he buys his pieces for me with a different intent, so hold onto them.
3) Don't buy anything immediately. If you still want it in 6 months (or longer), revisit the idea then.
4) Before you do anything, consider if there is ANY OTHER WAY you can get the same piece. Once you realize you can skin a cat a thousand different ways, it makes you more savvy on how to get what you want.
5) If the piece you have appeals to you but isn't scratching the whole itch - consider a second piece, rather than getting rid of the one you already have and enjoy.
6) Set an end point - and stick to it.
7) Don't compromise the list. Have the clarity you need, the color you want, the size and design you desire. You'll only revisit otherwise.
Don't ever let your mother in law see the contents of your jewelry box - this never goes well.

Good luck, pearaffair! I hope you get all the pieces your heart desires.

Hi mrs-b,
I have to agree with everything you wrote here! Especially the last one- never ever let your MIL see your jewelry box! LOL!

Off topic, but I just wanted to post this about my MIL. I once decided to give my MIL a 7 diamond princess cut band that I purchased off DB. I had it polished and cleaned and gave it to her for mother's day. I had traded in a ring and given money on top of that to purchase it. I never saw her wear any rings, so I thought being a good DIL, I would give her something nice. It even came with an (overinflated) appraisal for $3200.
She accepted it and all, but then the following year, she came up to me and told me it was fake!!! I asked her why she would say that and she said my SIL told her it had to be otherwise why would I give it to her. As is, her English isn't great and I don't speak her language so I was surprised she could even tell me all of that, so I knew it was mostly my SIL's thoughts. I was so offended, I asked her to give it back to me. She didn't. I went up to my room and showed her the appraisal. I said if she didn't believe it was real, just give it back to me. She still didn't give it back to me and to this day I don't know what happened to it, but I've never seen her wear it.
That was the last time I ever got her a gift.[/QUOTE]
Great rules!! Re MIL, at least you will never have to get another gift for her and you won't have to feel guilty about it. HA. Been There done that. Never again. And crazy comes in ALL forms.

 

[LLJsmom]

Pearaffair, I am having the same problem as you. Every week I see a new setting that is "the one". My biggest challenge is very personal. I am figuring out what I truly like, am most comfortable wearing and is most "me" as compared to what I love seeing on PS. The piece of advice I believe the most in is "wait six months". I would say change it to "wait a year". I have regretted my impulse purchases. And even if you have thought about it for a year, that doesn't count. The clock starts ticking after you have at least tried it on or something close. I waited a couple years to buy my Cartier love cuff. No regrets. My studs were a year long project. No regrets. My first upgrade? An impulsive buy during a tough busy season. Wish I could do a do-over. Diamond pendant? Forever piece. Tennis bracelet, a year. No regrets. Eternity band impulse. Thinking about selling it.

 

[Calliecake]

A waiting period of a year is very good advice. I waited six months, made the big purchase and regretted it a month later. I also think the hardest part is figuring out what you really want.

 

[ringbling17]

Wow Kayla... intense story!! Your gift was so thoughtful and special... yikes! Maybe SIL was envious and angling for her mom to give it to her?

I honestly don't know what happened to it. And I did ask for it back. I mean seriously, she's my MIL and the whole family was in the jewelry business back home, why would I give her something fake?
It just wouldn't make sense.

 

[poshmommy]

Try on every ring you can. Visit every jewelry store you come across and see what they have to offer. If they don't have stones in the shape you want, test your color and clarity sensitivity with what they do have.

I thought I wanted a cushion for the last 8 years. However, I really did not like how they seemed to face up a bit smaller than other cuts. I wanted a diamond that showed its weight. I always thought I hated round stones. Then I saw Frankie's victor canera set 3 ct round and love it in the Emilya! Couldn't get it out of my head. However I loved the chunky facets of the older cushions. When I went to LA for a conference I took the opportunity to visit Victor Canera and look at his cushions and rounds. It was perfect. He let us play with the 3 main stones we were considering. I did not like the square cushions and the elongated ones were few and far between. I loved his European round. There were none in the area I live in. It has the finger coverage I wanted. The faceting makes it stand out from your typical round. People can tell it is different, but can't put their finger on why. It was the right decision for me.

However, I still waited at least a few months before I pulled the trigger to make sure nothing else turned my head. Don't rush it. And have fun! It is an exciting time.

 

[foxinsox]

I work out what I want by googling the heck out of it and pinning like mad for weeks or months (or years). Then I take stock of the pinned images and pick out what speaks to me from the sorted collection to find my platonic ideal for whatever I'm looking for. If I can find that at a good price, then I'll jump on it. Otherwise it sits, half-done until something speaks to me. Currently I have narrow French-cut bands, rose cut/OMC/OEC target rings and Victorian buttercup dangle earrings being pinned as I work out what I like in these.
If I can try things on locally, I will but NZ is pretty limited in the antique styles I really like so most of my looking has to be online. I quite like the Beaumade app for trying some different styles on too. Lots of different shapes of stone and rings on there.

 

[pearaffair]

Foxinsox - that Beaumade app is really cool, and I had never heard of it! Many thanks!

And to everyone who said wait, be patient, think about it, try stuff on - I think that is great advice and it allows me to bulk up my bling fund, too!