Dealing With A Suicide Loss...

[Tacori E-ring]

Verdy, I am sorry for your loss. I know suicide is difficult to understand, especially when you are young, but he was clearly a sick, young man. You don't have to try to "figure it out" because you never will. He committed suicide because he didn't think there was any other way he could survive. Whatever his demons, those are unknown and the details unimportant. At least now he is at peace. With time you will be able to accept it and hopefully his death will be a reminder how fragile life really is.

ETA: most likely his friend who screamed at James was in denial. People process grief and loss in many different ways. I am sure she did not mean to make anyone uncomfortable. She is processing his death just as you are.

 

[JewelFreak]

There's nothing small about your heart, Verdy, and I doubt it's too adolescent anymore either. Losses like these are what make everyone grow up inside. Hard stuff. I understand your not going to the funeral. Maybe if you write a note to James's mother it will help you and certainly her.

I hope this quote from Aeschylus, the Greek playwright, helps. He felt the inmost mystery of life was that innocents suffer: how can that and God be just? His thought was that pain and error have their purpose and their use: they are steps of the ladder of knowledge. I memorized it for times when my heart hurts.


"God, whose law it is that he who learns must suffer. Even in our sleep pain that cannot forget, falls drop by drop upon the heart, and despite ourselves, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awesome grace of God."


Can't think of anything more true.

--- Laurie