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Forgot to mention that I move into my new apartment on July 1 (I love my parents but I can''t live at home too long after being on my own for 7 years). I''m so excited about it! It''s a brand spanking new property and it''s fabulous with a huge bathroom and beautiful granite countertops and awesome appliances. I''ve never lived alone (always with roommates and with soon to be ex husband) so I''m really looking forward to some time by myself!
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Oh, cool! Your new place sounds awesome! Post pics!
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Date: 6/25/2009 3:17:24 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I am so sorry! I agree with you that it is much better to find this out now than later when children are involved. Still sucks though. Get a lawyer. Protect and take care of yourself. (((hugs)))
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Ditto.

I am so sorry.
 
Good for you honey! Use the time alone in your new digs to pamper yourself, go out with your girlfriends, and have fun!

You''re young and beautiful--you''ll bounce back from this sooner than you think.
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I''m really sorry. What a wimpy wimpy man. And I know its no conselation, but thank goodness you found this out now than years down the road when there are kids involved.
 
Wow, I have no words except to say I am sorry! It does sound like you dodged a bullet and I wish you all the best, because you deserve better!!
 
Oh InLuv, words cannot express how truly sorry I am. I haven't read beyond your initial post, so I don't know if I've missed anything, but please know that we are all here to support you. I am so so sorry.

ETA: great news on your new apt! I LOVED living alone and I hope you will too after a period of adjustment. Plus you will have that gorgeous puppy to keep you company.
 
Date: 6/25/2009 4:00:16 PM
Author: InLuv101
Forgot to mention that I move into my new apartment on July 1 (I love my parents but I can''t live at home too long after being on my own for 7 years). I''m so excited about it! It''s a brand spanking new property and it''s fabulous with a huge bathroom and beautiful granite countertops and awesome appliances. I''ve never lived alone (always with roommates and with soon to be ex husband) so I''m really looking forward to some time by myself!
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Congrats!!! I just moved into my own apt. last month, after living with my parents for 11 months! Eeek! I LOVE living on my own again (by MYSELF).
 
I loved living alone. I wish I had done so for a longer period of time. It was a time of indulgence and self discovery (if I wanted to eat cheese and crackers for dinner with wine and then curl up with my book alone I was able to without infringing on anyone else, how wonderful!). Enjoy your new place, fill it with great new memories and beginnings.
 
In Luv - I am so so so sorry you are having to go through this! What a jack a$$! You deserve and will find SO MUCH BETTER!

Feh to him!
 
I am so sorry to hear this, inluv. That''s awful -- and so cowardly of him, to boot!

***hugs***
 
I am happy to hear about your new apartment!
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I don''t have much to say except that I am sending lots of dust your way, and that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
In Luv,

Sorry to hear your shocking news. A close friend of mine was in a similar situation they were about to TTC and then out of nohere he was like I''m not happy, blah blah blah. She was devastated...she finally got him to admit that he had been cheating. Once she knew that she had no desire to make the marriage work. That divorce is the best thing that ever happened to her and she is so much happier now, and has the greatest guy in her life that adores her. Oh and we found out that is he now married to a coworker of his that had previously also been married to someone else...so the coworker was "the other woman."

Definitely try to find out about his "extracurricular activities", not sure what state you live in. TX is a nofault 50/50 state so it doesn''t matter who cheated in terms of a settlement, but at the same time that information can be a handy negotiation tool if he doesnt want it to be on public record.
 
Wow, I''m so sorry to hear about that.
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That''s just terrible. Doesn''t make much sense at all to me! I find that so strange...

***MANY HUGS TO YOU***
 
Oh InLuv, I''m so sorry. You were one of my faves on the TTC thread, and my heart breaks for you. But you WILL get through this. I''m glad you are handling it so well, but if you are a mess privately, please don''t beat yourself up. You are allowed to be sad and grieve for the loss of something you believed in.

So glad you have a new fabulous apartment to dance about in, and hope your lovely Miley is keeping you company.

You are a GORGEOUS girl, both inside and out. You are going to be so happy with the right guy someday.

Hugs to you.
 
I don't know what to say. . . except I'm really sorry.

Truly, this just stinks. And he is a stinker. Weeks or months from now, when the shock has worn off, you'll be saying "Whew! I almost wasted the best years of my life on that jerk! Thank God he's history!" But right now, you're just gonna hurt.

Shall we get "Supa Granny" (LindaW) to go knock him up the side of his head??
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Inluv, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this is happening to you- but congrats on finding a fabulous new apartment- and enjoy living alone because it is a wonderful experience
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InLuv- Wow, I can''t believe this. What kind of guy does something like this?!?! Sorry you were blindsided. I totally agree that ''something/someone'' was keeping you from getting pregnant, and thank gosh for that. Good for you for trying to see the bright side of this whole thing. Enjoy your new place. I, too, loved living alone. Sending lots of hugs your way.
 
Date: 6/25/2009 4:00:16 PM
Author: InLuv101
Forgot to mention that I move into my new apartment on July 1 (I love my parents but I can''t live at home too long after being on my own for 7 years). I''m so excited about it! It''s a brand spanking new property and it''s fabulous with a huge bathroom and beautiful granite countertops and awesome appliances. I''ve never lived alone (always with roommates and with soon to be ex husband) so I''m really looking forward to some time by myself!
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not dwelling on the negative and moving on to the positive! right on! enjoy your space, reflect on what you want in your life, and when he realizes he made a mistake and wants to come back, slam the door in his face.

mx
 
Just wanted to say that I am deeply sorry. I think your new apartment sounds wonderful and a great opportunity for a fresh start!
 
InLuv, I''m so so sorry to hear this. I really wish and hope for nothing but the best healing and growth for you as much as possible.

Please read "In the meantime" and "Yesterday I cried" by Iyanla Vanzant. Both GREAT books for when dealing with loss of relationships, and how to stay in touch with yourself in the meantime.....

My prayers and biggest hugs go out to you.....
 
Date: 6/25/2009 10:11:42 AM
Author: InLuv101
As for his 1st marriage he says she cheated and he couldn''t get past it...who knows if that''s true.
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It''s common for cheaters to use this excuse as to why a previous marriage/relationship failed, when often it was them who cheated not their spouse/partner.

My first marriage was also short (almost 1 1/2 years), but the divorce process was quick and inexpensive. The state we lived in had a confusing divorce process/paperwork which is why we brought in 1 lawyer (no fighting over anything, we split things down the middle basically). It ended up costing less than $1000 and took 2 months from the time of filing to our court date.


I''m sorry you are going through this. Living on my own after the divorce was one of the best things for me. Enjoy your new apartment and spend time taking care of yourself!
 
InLuv, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you''re going through this. Just know that you''ll recover and grow stronger from this experience. In the meantime, go ahead and enjoy your independence and freedom!
(((HUGS)))
 
Thinking of you, InLuv. You are one strong woman and are going to make it through this! Your shiny new apartment should help a bit, too
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InLuv I just saw this thread and want to tell you how very sorry I am that you are going through this!

My first thought when reading your story is that he has been cheating... I''m so sorry if that is true. I think that saying he has "mental health issues" somehow lets him off the hook by offering an explanation for his behaviour other than what is most likely the truth: He is perhaps one of the millions of men out there who doesn''t truly know how to partner a woman and become communal. The way he is handling just this one situation is enough to demonstrate that! You are so much better off without a man like that in your life. You are so young and beautiful and smart and funny. I know you will love living alone (in time, at first it may be lonely), and one day when you are ready you will meet someone even better.

I was not married to my ex, but we were living together for 2.5 years when we finally broke up. It was really hard but after some time to reflect and put it all into perspective I realized how much of myself I had given up to be with a man who was essentially and at his core a selfish man. And I was happier and more fulfilled without him! I met Dh only 6 months later. One of my close friends similarly ended her marriage when she found out her hubby was cheating after she found out she had an STD. Again, it wasn''t until she was out of the relationship that she could look back and say, "Man what was I doing with him?" She is now happy, independent, healthy (she was sick all the time being with him) and in a new relationship. I hope that as the next months pass and you get further from your relationship with this dweeb you will find clarity about yourself and what you want in life and learn from your experiences. You deserve all the best, and I know you will find it.

Big hugs, keep well.
 
Hugs and positive thoughts your way, InLuv!

It''s still early, but you seem to be doing what is absolutely best for you... Getting a swanky new apartment, taking time for yourself... You have such a wonderful outlook, even during such a sh*tty, rough time. I totally admire that!

You''re young and fabulous. There are amazing things in store for you, in the future. I just know it
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Hoping your heart heals at a good pace, and will become completely full again
 
Urgh! How horrible...I'm glad the pregnancy did not happen. Sounds like he does not deserve you at all. I'm glad you found a spiffy new place. It's time to forget that loser and move on to better things. If he ever comes crawling back, I'll slam the door in his face so hard that he'll have no nose left.
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And I'll tell him to talk to my lawyer!
 
I also wanted to express how sorry I am . . . so out of nowhere! So despicable! Hugs . . . hang in there, take care of yourself, and enjoy your new apartment; it sounds lovely, and I''m glad it came together so quickly so you could have a physical representation of your fresh start.
 
My condolences for how you must be feeling, but congratulations on your newfound freedom from a scumbag who didn''t deserve you! What a pathetic excuse for a partner.
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May you find the happiness you deserve.
 
omggg hugs
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...but what a jerk!
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