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Cynical or Naive?

Which would you rather?

  • Cynical

    Votes: 37 82.2%

  • Naive

    Votes: 8 17.8%
  • Total voters
    45
Gussie

Gussie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 20, 2017
Messages
3,700
DH and I were discussing cynicism versus naivety and which trait is "better" to have. In my mind, I would rather tilt naive simply because I think it might help me to navigate life more peacefully.

He said I was being naive. LOL!

I understand no one is completely one or the other. But which one would you rather lean?
 
I prefer informed rather than cynical. I find naive people, particularly those who are consciously naive, to be too lazy or not emotionally equipped to deal with the ugly side of adulting, My DH falls into that category and it is a constant source of annoyance.
 
Matata said:
I prefer informed rather than cynical. I find naive people, particularly those who are consciously naive, to be too lazy or not emotionally equipped to deal with the ugly side of adulting, ...
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+1

I don't want rose-colored, or poop-colored glasses.
I want clear ones.
 
Matata said:
I prefer informed rather than cynical. I find naive people, particularly those who are consciously naive, to be too lazy or not emotionally equipped to deal with the ugly side of adulting, My DH falls into that category and it is a constant source of annoyance.
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Haha, I prefer unsuspecting rather than naive. Both cynical and naive have negative connotations.

I agree that adulting sucks sometimes. I wholeheartedly adult when it's necessary. But so many things just aren't that important.
 
Naive to me is uneducated, which I would never want to be. Knowledge is power!
 
Do we have to be one or the other? Is this like would you rather be drunk or high?

I am cynical and am recognized as such (references are in all my posts). It is an acquired trait; I used to be naive. After the last five years, it's hard to imagine not being cynical. By that I mean not ascribing most people's and corporations' actions to greed and self-interest and not feeling that pandering and fear-mongering are the surest paths to re-election. When a major media corporation can engineer a disinformation campaign that results in 900K excess deaths in the US (not deaths, excess deaths per capita over our "peer" nations) purely for the generation of views and ad revenue, it's really hard to not be cynical.

It is less stressful being naive. But in the end, naïveté is just "applied ignorance." Not something to be super-proud of. You can be cynical and not act on it -- feign naïveté. If you're naive, you got nowhere else to go!
 
I went with naive in the poll simply because I believe if more people were naive rather than cynical, the world would probably be a better place. After all, what is to be naive? To believe in the good of people, to believe in their honesty, in their trustworthiness? Most people I know are like this because they themselves are kind, honest and trustworthy. They see the world as a reflection of their inner self, and the world in their eyes is good.

We are not born cynics. We become ones after we see enough ugliness.

Aside from that...

Matata said:
I prefer informed
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100% this ^
 
I consider myself to be a realist

I see things as they are and not as I wish them to be (naive) or in a more negative light than it actually is (cynical)
Cynicism can be anti social and distrustful behavior and naivete can be lack of critical judgment and passive behavior
I am neither of those

I see things as they are
Not as I want them to be
When someone shows me who they are I listen and I believe
But I always first give people the benefit of the doubt
 
Echoing Matata here. Informed is my goal. To some, “informed” ends up sounding cynical, but if they are choosing to dwell in naïveté, that may be more a reflection of their own states.
 
I consider myself to be a realist. Whilst I would like to see the good in people, I’ve been let down too many times not to be cynical, if that makes sense.
 
LilAlex said:
Do we have to be one or the other? Is this like would you rather be drunk or high?

I am cynical and am recognized as such (references are in all my posts). It is an acquired trait; I used to be naive. After the last five years, it's hard to imagine not being cynical. By that I mean not ascribing most people's and corporations' actions to greed and self-interest and not feeling that pandering and fear-mongering are the surest paths to re-election. When a major media corporation can engineer a disinformation campaign that results in 900K excess deaths in the US (not deaths, excess deaths per capita over our "peer" nations) purely for the generation of views and ad revenue, it's really hard to not be cynical.

It is less stressful being naive. But in the end, naïveté is just "applied ignorance." Not something to be super-proud of. You can be cynical and not act on it -- feign naïveté. If you're naive, you got nowhere else to go!
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No one is either/or. This is why the question the question was worded "lean cynical or naive". Lol, not sure about the drunk/high analogy. If you were either completely cynical or completely naive, it would probably push you to indulge!

I view naive as a bit optimistic and cynical as a bit negative. MW dictionary also lists as such.

I once sold a few things on ebay and really got screwed by a lady. I was so ashamed that I didn't tell DH for a long time. But later I decided that I would honestly rather trust in humanity than live thinking someone was out to get me. Haha, but I've never sold anything on ebay again!
 
Gussie said:
No one is either/or. This is why the question the question was worded "lean cynical or naive"
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Then my answer is leaning towards cyclical. But I’m not. I’m just not a cockeyed optimist lol. I consider myself a pessimistic optimist if that makes sense
 
Have yall seen this?


I fell for it over Christmas! A guy was "playing" the violin, and his family was with him. The music was beautiful and I gave him $20. Later, when I read about this scam, DH pointed out that it made me happy at the time - the music was nice and the whole scene felt very Christmasy, definitely worth $20. I will choose faith in humanity almost always.
 
I will say similar to other comments above. I am a realist. Or an optimistic pessimist. I want to see good in people and situations. I really do try! Sometimes I try too hard. When that happens, we pay $$$ to have an incomplete chicken coop and a duck run that has to be ripped out and done over again. All to be completed by us because after two sets of handy people working plus multiple highly recommended no-showing, I am done.

DH and I have both been let down by a lot of people even with due diligence and recommendations from people we know and trust. I am currently more than leaning and fully in the cynical side of things if I had to pick one. I'm spending my morning writing a statement for a court case we had to file after a contractor to six figures and never built anything. Licensed, bonded, and insured but none of those help in a situation like this. When I finish that, the bulk of the rest of the day is trying to get the chicken coop done so the poor (no longer) chicks can move out to a more suitable space than our book room. A project that should have taken under a week but was drawn out for months. And if that doesn't keep me busy enough, trying hard to keep busy with anything because I am having a tough time missing my grandfather right now and am quite sure he would still be alive if any one of his multiple doctors had bothered to look at his blood work trends. Describing the situation to a doctor I know, he said cancer as soon as I said which tests had suddenly dropped and even he flat out said that the way they missed that was negligent at best and more like malpractice. Oh.... And the thing I had to drop off for repairs in October 2021 is still not ready. The thing that would usually take a month at worst? Yeah, that is still not ready and the guy routinely quits answering calls/texts/emails for weeks and months at a time all while never actually sending so much as photos or video of progress that had been promised when we agreed to take it to him.

Cynical. Definitely cynical. Well earned, but cynical.
 
Naive implies not knowing and I prefer to be informed.

Once informed, I can be cynical with the information I have.

DK :))
 
dk168 said:
Naive implies not knowing and I prefer to be informed.

Once informed, I can be cynical with the information I have.

DK :))
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Well said!
 
I am cynical. I don't trust people or entities.
I feel like corporations and companies (like healthcare, insurance, banking, utilities) only care about $$$, and do not really want to help people at all.
Stracci has to look out for Stracci, 'cause no one else will.
I've always felt this way, but I'm getting worse with age.
 
I used to be very cynical but now I just don't care one way or the other about a lot of stuffs.
 
I've become far more cynical with age and life experience. I can't believe some of the things I did when I was young now. I guess I somehow just didn't really believe back then that anything bad could happen to me. And maybe I was right, because it really didn't lol. But now I don't trust nearly as much and prepare for disaster far more.
 
I prefer to say I have become wiser with age and experience. Naivete, IMO, is for children.

Being careful is not the same as cynicism. Locking one's door, protecting one's passwords etc. is prudent. It recognizes that there are bad actors in the world, but does not assume all, or most, people are bad actors. Unfortunately we can't always tell in advance which are the bad ones. Hence "universal precautions"-- like not opening the door to strangers.

I recall reading a study that correlated cynical hostility with a heightened risk for coronary atherosclerosis-- hardening of the arteries in the heart.
 
Naive could also mean young enough, and/or not yet f-ed by life (or myocarditis). I don't know anyone who doesn't want to be young again, if they say otherwise they are lying.

Also cynics must be so fun at parties, gosh...
 
I love how a few posts try to spin cynical into informed, sophisticated, and the like. I guess naive does mean uninformed, unsophisticated, etc. But just as easily, I could spin naive by calling it positive, fresh, unjaded, forthright, etc. The question was posed in the negative.

Anyway, I will cop to unsophisticated but definitely not uninformed. I just do not doubt unless given a reason to.

I definitely agree with @Daisys and Diamonds that some cynics suck the joy out of a room lol.
 
Gussie said:
I love how a few posts try to spin cynical into informed, sophisticated, and the like. I guess naive does mean uninformed, unsophisticated, etc. But just as easily, I could spin naive by calling it positive, fresh, unjaded, forthright, etc. The question was posed in the negative.

Anyway, I will cop to unsophisticated but definitely not uninformed. I just do not doubt unless given a reason to.

I definitely agree with @Daisys and Diamonds that some cynics suck the joy out of a room lol.
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To me naive would be the equivalent of Adam and Even still in Eden, still innocent, before the fall.
No one is born a cynic, a cynic is made after experiencing some hardship.

F the hardship, I voted naive! :lol:
 
I think maybe there is continuum. Naivete on one end, cynicism on the other end, and the rest of us somewhere in between.
 
There's a Zen/Chan quote: “Before I had studied Chan for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.”

The moral I take from this is that we should go beyond naivety and cynicism to mature understanding.
 
Everyone is born naive. I think in my case experience, facing hardships growing up and adulthood is what made me who am I am today. Cynical-sometimes, street smart-always! Realist-definitely! Super protective of myself and my kids-always! I am the "take everything with a pinch of salt" person. And my DH well he can take care of himself-lol!
Growing up in my cultural society where it is ok to pass judgment on anyone verbally and to your face! or behind your back, which you'll find out eventually through the grapevine. This ranges from grandparents, parents to extended family members and just wait till you get married, the toxicity is just beginning. At least some of these folks are changing, but many many many more still remain where they think they can say anything, do anything and it is ok for them to get away with it.
This alone has made grow a hard shell, jaded possibly? But that's ok, its experience that I have grown from and that I treasure.
Also- my parents were way too nice, too accommodating to others their entire lives, people saw them as doormats and they gotten taken advantage of all the time. My dad being the nicest kindest, generous man gone suddenly and he had so many years of life to live. My mom still around, but can't say boo to a goose. That being one of my first eye opening "experiences".

Otherwise, I am a nice, kind, fun person- I think :oops2:
 
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