Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rings..

[jmarshall]

Did you keep your original engagement ring? Or trade up?

When my GF first started talking about us getting married, I asked if she would be ok with upgrading if I got her a smaller diamond and a cheap solitaire setting, she said for an anniversary I could buy her another ring, but that she would never get rid of or trade in her engagement ring, hence I bought the ring I wanted to begin with after saving up, rather than buying what I could afford when I wanted to propose...

Just curious, is it common practice among PSers to trade in your actual e-ring? Is your SO ok with it?????

 

[lknvrb4]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I sold my original e-ring and I am ok with it. It was a mall store diamond with black carbons. I guess if money was no object I would have kept it and made it a pendant but oh well. I am very happy with what I have.

 

[Niel]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

i sold my original to pay for my new one. My SO and i are not sentimental about things like this. I like diamonds and he likes to not spend money on them, so we sold one to fund the other. I dont consider my diamond a symbolic representation of his love for me. Some do i suppose, and thats ok too.

 

[distracts]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Just curious, is it common practice among PSers to trade in your actual e-ring? Is your SO ok with it?????

I've only had my e-ring two and a half years (and just been married two and a half months!) but my husband and I are currently not okay with upgrading. The sentimental attachment to me engagement ring is too great. (Plus it was exactly what I wanted.) I thought I would be okay with upgrading until I picked the sapphire that I have... I could see myself changing settings down the line but the sapphire is exactly the color blue that I think is most beautiful. My husband was tempted by this sapphire - he didn't actually want to go for it, but it was the first time he'd ever acknowledged that he could see why someone would want to upgrade and maybe in the future I could. I told him I'd be fine with another ring but wasn't giving up THIS one.

HOWEVER part of my reluctance to upgrade could be in part due to the fact that I am not averse to wearing whatever ring on my left-hand ring finger that I decide to that day. Some people have a "one ring to rule them all" strategy but mine is not that. If I want to wear a different sapphire ring, a diamond ring, a silver and turquoise ring, whatever.

But people vary, as Kenny likes to say. There are plenty of people who don't get particularly attached to physical objects (probably actually a healthier mindset lol) and can replace them with no problem. There are people who'd never consider wearing anything except their original engagement/wedding rings on their left hand ring finger. There are more people who are okay with upgrading on PS than in the general population, but all types seem to be represented.

 

[SB621]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I sold my orginal engagment ring and traded up the diamond. Still have the trade up, but I no longer wear it as we bought a completely different diamond that I now wear as my ering. I think I'm on version 3 or 4 of my wedding set. My SO could care less. After being together 10 years he doesn't care if I wear a diamond, trade up, trade in or trade out- as long as WE stick together.

I will say we got engaged at 22/21 and married at 23 so we were young. My sense of style and taste and jewelry as changed as I have "matured" so another reason why I traded up and in was because I finally figured out what was my dream ring and went for it. This was important to me as I wanted to LOVE my ering/ wedding set, not just like it. I had very little emotional attachment to my set to begin with. I thought it would be harder to part with it and I do believe I told my DH when we first got engaged I would never even think about trading in or up but that didn't last long. I think on our 2 year anniversary is when I first started to change it.

 

[jmarshall]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Had I bought a small, cheap, mall store ring, i would be fine with my GF upgrading in the future if her/I wanted to.... But the ring that I got, I (with the assistance of a select few favorite PS members giving me some good options/opinions) spent MONTHS selecting the perfect ring. I would be very hurt if she got rid of it at this point.... If on down the line she wanted me to buy her a bigger/better/different ring to wear at times in place of this one, that's fine, but I don't think I would be ok with gettting rid of the original. JMO... was curious as to how others felt.

 

[Niel]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Had I bought a small, cheap, mall store ring, i would be fine with my GF upgrading in the future if her/I wanted to.... But the ring that I got, I (with the assistance of a select few favorite PS members giving me some good options/opinions) spent MONTHS selecting the perfect ring. I would be very hurt if she got rid of it at this point.... If on down the line she wanted me to buy her a bigger/better/different ring to wear at times in place of this one, that's fine, but I don't think I would be ok with gettting rid of the original. JMO... was curious as to how others felt.

ive heard this from time to time from men. which i understand, but just so you dont get upset if for some reason she does want to upgrade sooner than you would have wanted, understand SHE is the one wearing it, and at the end of the day SHE is the one its for, so dont be upset if she eventually grows out of the ring she has. Does not mean she didnt love it when she got it, or didnt LOVE how much time you put in to finding her perfect ring for this point in her life.


if she spend a lot of time and found you guys a great house to live in, would you be expected to live there the rest of your life? Even if your family or income grew?

 

[jmarshall]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Had I bought a small, cheap, mall store ring, i would be fine with my GF upgrading in the future if her/I wanted to.... But the ring that I got, I (with the assistance of a select few favorite PS members giving me some good options/opinions) spent MONTHS selecting the perfect ring. I would be very hurt if she got rid of it at this point.... If on down the line she wanted me to buy her a bigger/better/different ring to wear at times in place of this one, that's fine, but I don't think I would be ok with gettting rid of the original. JMO... was curious as to how others felt.

ive heard this from time to time from men. which i understand, but just so you dont get upset if for some reason she does want to upgrade sooner than you would have wanted, understand SHE is the one wearing it, and at the end of the day SHE is the one its for, so dont be upset if she eventually grows out of the ring she has. Does not mean she didnt love it when she got it, or didnt LOVE how much time you put in to finding her perfect ring for this point in her life.


if she spend a lot of time and found you guys a great house to live in, would you be expected to live there the rest of your life? Even if your family or income grew?

As I said, I don't feel as though I would ever be unhappy with the thought of her wanting a different, additional ring... But I don't think I would be OK with trading the original to get it.

Same with the house, no I wouldn't expect to live there forever, but if she developed an emotional connection to the house due to the time/effort she put into picking it out, and wanted to keep it as a result, I would be fine with leaving it as a second residence......

My opinion about the upgrade is probably being skewed by the newness of the ring though (its not even here yet!) My opinion might be different 5 years down the road.

 

[autumngems]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

My original was .25 carat and I wore that for 25 years. I still have that, my hubby let me get a 2.0ct after 25 years and I had that for 3 years and then sold it and upgraded and got a 3.02ct, my final ring.

 

[kmarla]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

This is really timely for me. I just upgraded and I'm not sure what to do with my original ring. It was just reset 3years ago and I love it, but I honestly doubt I'm going to wear it now that I have my 2 carat. My husband doesn't care and neither of my daughter's are into jewelry at all. I'll probably end up selling it because I think it deserves to be worn and not stuck in a jewelry box.

 

[chrono]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

We knew we were going to upgrade but didn't know when we would reach that end point. In the process, we went from rounds to step cuts. I traded in each stone as it helped in the upgrade process otherwise I would end up with quite a few poorly cut stones (prior to PS), the stones would not have been that large and I don't know what to do with 4 or 5 diamonds of varying sizes and shapes.

 

[SB621]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I think the greatest thing you can bring to a marriage is selflessness. My DH spent months getting my first ring together. After 2 years I got rid of it. It was very pretty, but just not me and I don't see the sense in keeping something that i don't love or would wear. My DH totally understood and really supported me on searching for something I would wear and love to wear daily. If he hadn't have been so supportive I really would have questioned why he had a more emotionally attachment to it then me. I think you personally feel so gun ho over this ring right now is because it is new and your just proposed. In a few months you move on to way more important things and you realize while it is special it doesn't define you or your relationship. If she keeps it great! If she decides she wants something different then who really cares. The most important part is that you two made a huge commitment to each other- not a ring.

 

[Niel]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I think the greatest thing you can bring to a marriage is selflessness. My DH spent months getting my first ring together. After 2 years I got rid of it. It was very pretty, but just not me and I don't see the sense in keeping something that i don't love or would wear. My DH totally understood and really supported me on searching for something I would wear and love to wear daily. If he hadn't have been so supportive I really would have questioned why he had a more emotionally attachment to it then me. I think you personally feel so gun ho over this ring right now is because it is new and your just proposed. In a few months you move on to way more important things and you realize while it is special it doesn't define you or your relationship. If she keeps it great! If she decides she wants something different then who really cares. The most important part is that you two made a huge commitment to each other- not a ring.

+10000


At the end of the day its just a ring.

 

[Rubies-R-Me]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Hello!
I kept my first one carat round for 8 years and then got a matching stone and made them into earrings (then promptly lost one on the driveway shoveling snow) and then made the remaining 1 carat round into a solitaire necklace. Eventually that was traded in for ring #2 which was a 2.86 carat pear. After 5 years I gave that to my mother-in-law to wear.. really! Now I'm on ring #3.. a large emerald cut.. which I'm keeping for now.
Won't trade the hubs in for anything but part with rings very easily! LOL

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

This is really timely for me. I just upgraded and I'm not sure what to do with my original ring. It was just reset 3years ago and I love it, but I honestly doubt I'm going to wear it now that I have my 2 carat. My husband doesn't care and neither of my daughter's are into jewelry at all. I'll probably end up selling it because I think it deserves to be worn and not stuck in a jewelry box.

Save it!!! When it comes time for them to get engaged, one of them certainly might like to use your diamond in her ring! That way it would be an heirloom and allow the couple to not spend a huge amount on rings! Or if they don't care about it, you certainly might have a granddaughter someday who would love to have it!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Back when I got engaged at age 21, most diamonds did not come with lab reports. We knew absolutely ZERO about diamond cut. My round diamond was F color and pretty, but it doesn't come close to ideal cut. It has a large table and is very bright as a result, but gosh, it has almost no crown!!! When I actually found the inclusion in it after many years, it bugged me a lot. But I had never even heard of upgrading a diamond! So for our 30th anniversary coming up, I asked my husband if I could change from yellow gold to platinum settings because I no longer was really wearing yellow gold since white metals are better with my coloring. My set was classic so not out of style at all. I just wanted platinum. He said he hated to change the setting and why didn't we just get new rings for the anniversary! That was a pretty brilliant idea! So that is when I found PS, because I wanted the best quality diamond I could find this time!

I still wanted a round, but went to a 1.6ct H&A stone. Along the way Jonathan developed his August Vintage line, and I had it on my mind to switch to one of those if he ever had one with the specs I wanted. This finally happened this year as my specs broadened a bit and I found a diamond I really loved.

So my original set is safely stored until my younger daughter gets engaged, and she will know that they have the option of using my diamond if they want. If she doesn't, then it will be saved for a granddaughter or set in a pendant for the younger daughter.

But I will tell you this. I honestly think if that original diamond had been ideal cut and VS clarity, it probably would have never crossed my mind to change it. I might have added side stones to make a 3 stone ring or something, but I think I'd still be wearing it. You have the big advantage of doing it right at the outset. You bought a great diamond and put it in a beautiful timeless setting that will never go out of style, so I think she will never want to change it! Like you said, there are right hand rings, pendants, earrings, bracelets, and other jewelry that can be bought for special occasions. But she would never probably want to stop wearing this ring because it is a great one!!!

 

[blackprophet]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I think were getting a generational (if I may be so bold) divide here.

A lot of responses have said they got upgrades after 10-15-25 years. The OP is at -1 ( ) years. And some have expressed they didn't get what they wanted, or they got something sub-par and wanted to do better. That is what they could afford at the time. So an upgade makes a lot of sense.

I too am newly engaged and I don't think I would be ok with my FI trading in what I gave her. But that is my opinion NOW. And as well I went to great pains to get her something what SHE wanted (which is about opposite what I would've gotten her if I had all the power). So in my mind, for us an upgrade doesn't make as much sense because she has what she wants.

In 10 years who knows how I will feel. I think I would look at her funny and say "you've changed your mind already"

 

[MustangGal]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I've upgraded a few times. I still have the original ring, mainly because it was a less expensive mall ring and it's sentimental value is higher than it's re-sale value. DH also wishes me to keep it. The other upgrades have all been sold to fund the next in line. I can understand the desire to keep the original, but any other upgrades are fair game to me.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I kept my original e-ring. My husband sort of did the opposite of what you did: He bought what he could afford at the time knowing I would keep it if I ever upgraded, which was a very modest sapphire solitaire. So I still have it. I don't wear it, but I would never sell it. I am sentimentally attached to it.

 

[packrat]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I'm on my 4th (and final) upgrade. I don't have any of the other rings. I don't miss them and I don't feel bad about them being gone. One of them was the one he proposed w/and one of them is the one we got married w/. My attachment is to my husband and our marriage, much as I completely 100% adore and love my three stone, it's not what our relationship is about and doesn't define us.

 

[msop04]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Niel, would you mind having a little talk with my DH??

 

[Niel]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Niel, would you mind having a little talk with my DH??

I had to give mine one. I bought my original ering myself. My budget, I picked it out, did everything, then gave it to him and said "whenever you're ready"

We had a house and a baby and a life together, so funds were shared anyways, and he didn't care about the search like I did.

Well, after I bought it I just about immediately had buyer's remorse. It was beautif, and actually got more comments than my current ring, but just didn't do it for me.

My SO didn't care that I didn't like it, he was just concerned what other people would think, "oh he just got her that ring and she's change it, how ungrateful ", sense we kept the fact I bought it to ourselves.

But eventually after talking him how important it was to me to wear something I liked looking at, and that my happiness was the whole point of the e ring he understood and didn't care what people would think. Because that's the truth isn't it? An e ring isn't to get married, you can do that without a ring. You can get a gold band to showkother people you are taken, an e ring is to make the person wearing it happy.

Also its a gift of love. And something like that shouldn't have strings attached. "You can only have it if you'll wear it forever. ". Once hers she should be able to do whatever she wants with it.

 

[Laila619]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

My DH bought my ring from a mall store with a bad trade up policy, so when I upgraded, I kept my original and bought a new diamond online.

 

[Missy]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

It's funny because I am a sentimental person but I just am not sentimental about things I guess. I changed my original setting a number of times and upgraded the diamond this past January with an entirely different setting and I don't have any of my previous settings or original diamond. I traded in my last diamond so I could afford my current one. I don't miss any of my previous ER's at all. Not even a little.

And if my tastes should change and we could afford to I would change my current ER without any hesitation. I love my ring but as others have stated my only attachment is to people-especially my dh and our love for each other has nothing to do with what ring I may or may not be wearing or any other materialistic possession. What the ring signifies is constant and unwavering. The ring however need not be.

 

[Slickk]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I too got married at 21 and just celebrated my 25th anniversary. I have upgraded/reset a few times and the first one went for the trade in but I kept the Most recent one maybe for one of my children. When I first married stones were not certified to my knowledge and it was smallish. I also have a couple of my deceased moms rings, those I wouldn't trade in for the world. I even wear her trinity wedding band on my ring finger. My husband doesn't care because we have a wonderful marriage and he just wants what makes me happy. That's the prize at the end of the day.
Like someone said earlier after many years, it's really what will make your heart sing when you look at it.

 

[bunnycat]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

Did you keep your original engagement ring? Or trade up?

When my GF first started talking about us getting married, I asked if she would be ok with upgrading if I got her a smaller diamond and a cheap solitaire setting, she said for an anniversary I could buy her another ring, but that she would never get rid of or trade in her engagement ring, hence I bought the ring I wanted to begin with after saving up, rather than buying what I could afford when I wanted to propose...

Just curious, is it common practice among PSers to trade in your actual e-ring? Is your SO ok with it?????

I would also echo some of the other posts here. Many of the people who have mentioned upgrading have done so after some years. When you are younger, I think you don't tend to think about things like "upgrades" but in 5-10-15 years, a person may change their mind. What she may feel now she may not feel later. People change and tastes change.

Some people may trade in their rings because they need to in order to fund a change. Others, as you've seen, keep the original.

 

[ruby59]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I guess I am very sentimental because I could never part with my original engagement ring. Over the years, my husband has bought me some beautiful RHR, but the one he slipped on my finger when he asked me to marrry him will always be my E-ring - 32+ years and counting.

 

[motownmama]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

I would NEVER trade my ER, unless my kids were starving!I'm extremely sentimental about everything, and my DH totally surprised me with the proposal/ring.......not even the slightest hint it was coming. However, that having been said, - it doesn't matter one wit to me what other people do. You need to do what makes you happy! I would never judge another person's decision on this. I will say, however, that if I did want to upgrade and it bothered my husband, I would certainly attempt to reach a compromise: reset the same diamond or a smaller upgrade or wait and save more $ so the original can be kept. But, again - that's just me.

 

[Rubies-R-Me]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

There seems to be two distinct schools of thought on this topic.. the people who have an emotional attachment to their original ring and want to keep it forever and the people who don't have that attachment and will say goodbye to it without ever looking back.
The ONE thing that seems consistent though is that everyone seems to be very much in love with their spouses and devoted to their relationships.
How nice for everyone involved!
Rubies-R-me's wise words of the day!

 

[Missy]

Re: Curious for those of you who upgrade/have upgraded e-rin

There seems to be two distinct schools of thought on this topic.. the people who have an emotional attachment to their original ring and want to keep it forever and the people who don't have that attachment and will say goodbye to it without ever looking back.
The ONE thing that seems consistent though is that everyone seems to be very much in love with their spouses and devoted to their relationships.
How nice for everyone involved!
Rubies-R-me's wise words of the day!

Thanks for summing it up quite nicely! And I agree Rubies-R-Me. PSers are a very fortunate group of people. They are very loved by their SO's and vice versa. Very nice indeed!