Crying friend Part Two

[soontowed]

So I had decided to be the bigger person and call my friend to appologize again and hopefully patch things up with my her. Well apparently she has been posting all over her FAcebook what a b*tch I am and how I am a horrible person for causing her daughter so much pain.

I am in shock. She is a 30 year old woman! It''s really unbelieveable. I can''t believe that she would act that way. She was supposed to be one of my best friends. We''ve never even gotten into a fight. She''s always been selfish but this is a new level for her. She always manages to make everything about her.

Sorry girls, I just had to let it out.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Oh my god that is awful soontowed.

I''m sure that people will realise that she is the one who is being the b!tch and how childish she is when they see her comments.

And as you just said, she has always been the selfish one, Weddings are one of those times when you find out who your true friends are.. maybe she really never was a true friend?

I''m really sorry and i feel really sad for you that this is happening... i just can''t believe the behaviour of some people sometimes.

Hopefully you will be able put this all behind you soon and move on and have your real friends at your wedding.

 

[cindygenit]

your friend is being really immature about this. It is YOUR wedding. Maybe she is having a bad day, but still its no excuse for what she did to you.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I will say there is no excuse for what she is DOING.

She is throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old. No wonder her daughter is difficult to control.

I don't understand people who use Facebook to personally attack their "friends." They are the ones who end up looking bad.

She is totally out of line, and you need to stand your ground on this one.

 

[cara]

Well.

I guess now you don't have to worry about if this was momentary spaz moment that you could have handled better in some way to prevent a fallout. This one has gone viral. No point groveling your apologies! Cross off friend list, pair up some lucky bridesmaid with two groomsmen (if you care about such things), and maybe have an unfortunate brief conversation with your former friend just confirming that she's not to show up. Make silent plea that the poor girl who caused all the hububaloo survives her upbringing without being totally warped, cause it will take some inner strength of character clearly. Wowzers!

 

[*Danielle*]

What a baby. Well, one less person to take away from your day!

 

[Winslet]

I feel very sorry for you if this whole debacle means that you''ll be losing a friend, but I have to agree with everyone else that she sounds completely unreasonable and ridiculous! In the end, you may be better off without her friendship. Hugs anyway though, because friendship-ending fights are never without pain and regret (even when you were completely in the right).

 

[LilyKat]

Well, look on the bright side. You found out what sort of person and friend she is before she contaminated your wedding photos forever.

Her behaviour is despicable. Forget about her and move on with your gorgeous wedding, your true friends, and your life.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 9/15/2009 5:47:37 AM
Author: LilyKat
Well, look on the bright side. You found out what sort of person and friend she is before she contaminated your wedding photos forever.

Her behaviour is despicable. Forget about her and move on with your gorgeous wedding, your true friends, and your life.

I''m at my desk drinking a very hot cup of tea and nearly burnt my top lip laughing when I read that. Seriously though, it''s no joke when a supposidly good friend acts like this

. If she won''t see that your wedding does not revolve around her then you''ll just have to uninvite her.

 

[cocolaw]

yuck! i can''t understand grown women acting that way. she''s going to be a great role-model for her kids! in about 20 years, i imagine there will be some serious "fmil" threads about her on this website

 

[Ara Ann]

Weddings can bring out people''s true colors...and hers is not a pretty shade. Good thing she won''t be in your wedding party. I had to un-ask my close friend to be a bridesmaid as well...she skipped out on my wedding shower and that''s when it hit me...she didn''t care enough to be a part of my shower, then why should she be MOH and in all the pictures that I am supposed to treasure forever? You won''t even think about her in a year or so, she won''t be missed.

 

[Lauren8211]

I literally JUST went through a nasty Facebook status posting thing about MY wedding over this past weekend. It was an ex-friend.

Believe me, anyone at our age who sees nasty FB comments about you will know who the jerk is. It''s an immature move, and I know I''d roll my eyes at whoever did that.

Why do some people just NEVER grow up?!

The whole incident makes more sense now - you can see what type of person she is.

 

[tlh]

Okay. Wow, rose tinted glasses are off.

Your friend is a selfish little brat... and I would not budge. My post from your previous thread does not apply (my friend who lost a friendship due to the no kids rule has been a bride-zilla for awhile now, complete with sound effects... and there is more than just this to that one piece of the story. Complete with only asking "pretty people" over real close friends to be in the wedding party because of who would compliment her photos best... But again it does not apply.) I don''t think you are being ridiculous at all. She MIGHT have been a friend in the past, but weddings sometimes do that... they put a spot light directly on who your true friends are. Really weeds them out, pinpoints the jealous girls who were only your bar night buddies, or the you makes me feel better about my life because I''m better/thinner/smarter/prettier/richer/happier than yous, or the I only call you when I need somethings... yeah, it really makes you re-evaluate your friendships. This one sounds like she belongs in the BAD EGG pile.

The bashing of you on a public forum where you don''t have annoymity is RIDICULOUS! Airing dirty laundry on a one way communication. NOT COOL. Passive aggressive, and everyone knows a 3 year old only knows to be continually heartbroken if she is getting the cues from mommy. Think about when a kid falls down. MOst of the time they are fine.. and will get up and brush themselves off... but if they look up and you look horrified, gasp, run over and immediately go omg omg are you OKAY! they will begin to cry... because they are reading from you waht they are expected to do. She has day care taken care of, and her child will not be heartbroken. She is being selfish. You don''t need to apologise, you need to call her up, tell her you noticed her Facebooking and that you really don''t appreciate this backlash, on such a happy event in your life. And honestly, her lack of support for you in this time, really had made you think about including her as a bridesmaid, and perhaps it would be best if she steps down.

she sounds toxic... not someone that will be there for you in 5, 10, 15 years. So why wait, rid your life of her pettiness, selfishness - and move on. You have a network of loving and supportive friends and family - they should be there on your special day. Not people like this. ((HUGS!))

 

[DiaDiva]

I''m so sorry to hear this. She is not a friend and on the bright side, you know what she''s truly like now and you won''t have someone toxic like that on your happy day.

 

[Circe]

What a self-absorbed lunatic ... I think you''re best off out of that "friendship," but I''m really sorry you''re having this taint what should be a happy time. Yech.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Wow.....that''s sad. I agree with the others here. I don''t know if I''d want her in my bridal party much less my friend anymore if I was you. You definitely need to be surrounded by supportive people on YOUR special day and if it has to be about her, then just say ciao!

 

[MagsyMay]

Wow, I''m so sorry you''re having to go through this!

What a selfish brat!!! Is she still planning on being a bridesmaid?? I truly hope not. You should be surrounded by those friends that care about you most, and this girl sounds incapable of caring about anything more than herself.

 

[Diva0413]

Date: 9/15/2009 12:46:54 PM
Author: tlh
Okay. Wow, rose tinted glasses are off.

Your friend is a selfish little brat... and I would not budge. My post from your previous thread does not apply (my friend who lost a friendship due to the no kids rule has been a bride-zilla for awhile now, complete with sound effects... and there is more than just this to that one piece of the story. Complete with only asking ''pretty people'' over real close friends to be in the wedding party because of who would compliment her photos best... But again it does not apply.) I don''t think you are being ridiculous at all. She MIGHT have been a friend in the past, but weddings sometimes do that... they put a spot light directly on who your true friends are. Really weeds them out, pinpoints the jealous girls who were only your bar night buddies, or the you makes me feel better about my life because I''m better/thinner/smarter/prettier/richer/happier than yous, or the I only call you when I need somethings... yeah, it really makes you re-evaluate your friendships. This one sounds like she belongs in the BAD EGG pile.

The bashing of you on a public forum where you don''t have annoymity is RIDICULOUS! Airing dirty laundry on a one way communication. NOT COOL. Passive aggressive, and everyone knows a 3 year old only knows to be continually heartbroken if she is getting the cues from mommy. Think about when a kid falls down. MOst of the time they are fine.. and will get up and brush themselves off... but if they look up and you look horrified, gasp, run over and immediately go omg omg are you OKAY! they will begin to cry... because they are reading from you waht they are expected to do. She has day care taken care of, and her child will not be heartbroken. She is being selfish. You don''t need to apologise, you need to call her up, tell her you noticed her Facebooking and that you really don''t appreciate this backlash, on such a happy event in your life. And honestly, her lack of support for you in this time, really had made you think about including her as a bridesmaid, and perhaps it would be best if she steps down.

she sounds toxic... not someone that will be there for you in 5, 10, 15 years. So why wait, rid your life of her pettiness, selfishness - and move on. You have a network of loving and supportive friends and family - they should be there on your special day. Not people like this. ((HUGS!))

Well said!

 

[rhbgirl24]

Oh my! I''m so sorry! I would be upset, and pissed at the same time. Thats no kind of friend.............

 

[ladypirate]

Man, at this point I would seriously tell her that I wasn''t comfortable having HER at the wedding either. You could always say that you didn''t want children there because they would cry/whinge/misbehave and she is exhibiting all those traits.

I''m sorry she''s being such a pill!

 

[Haven]

Oy VEY.

Big ditto to Cara. Very well said.

Here''s hoping you can wash your hands of this whole thing very soon.

 

[Nov2109]

Your "friend" isn''t acting like much of a friend at all right now. She should be doing things to make your life easier when it comes to your wedding, not making you upset or talking about you...in any form. Posting things on facebook may be the most childish thing someone could do...she should apologize to you for acting like a b**ch herself. I wouldn''t want to lose a friend over something...but she has really been rude and inappropriate. Is she still in highschool?

So sorry you are going through this!

 

[sonnyjane]

I''m sorry she did this, but this is NOT your fault in any way. You should update your invitation to say "No children, or adults that choose to act like children, are invited" You don''t need this drama! Choose to surround yourself with happy, supportive people on your special day!

 

[swingirl]

I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding who called me a b**ch publicly, on a website or to my face. I couldn't stand to look at her on my wedding day nor in the photos that will be around for years to come. Consider asking her to bow out of the wedding, reimburse her for expenses, and let her stay home with her permanently damaged 3 year old.

 

[purselover]

Date: 9/15/2009 4:06:52 PM
Author: ladypirate
Man, at this point I would seriously tell her that I wasn''t comfortable having HER at the wedding either. You could always say that you didn''t want children there because they would cry/whinge/misbehave and she is exhibiting all those traits.

I''m sorry she''s being such a pill!

+1 your "friend" really needs to get over herself and her daughter the world doesn''t revolve around them

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 9/15/2009 4:37:53 PM
Author: swingirl
I wouldn''t want anyone at my wedding who called me a b**ch publicly, on a website or to my face. I couldn''t stand to look at her on my wedding day nor in the photos that will be around for years to come. Consider asking her to bow out of the wedding, reimburse her for expenses, and let her stay home with her permanently damaged 3 year old.

Ditto! What a total psycho!

 

[honey22]

This is beyond ridiculous! She isn''t a friend.

Don''t let yourself be manipulated by her, stick to your guns! Your wedding day should be all about making you and your hubby happy, not some crazy friend''s kid

Who on earth does she think she is?!?!

 

[oddoneout]

I agree that people will realize how silly/immature she''s being soon enough. Sorry you have to deal with all of this.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Anyone who manipulates other people through their child isn''t a very high caliber person IMHO.

I am in complete agreement with the others: at least you got rid of this bad apple before it had time to ruin the whole bunch!

And as for people who publically bash people on places like FB - that''s simply pathetic. FB and it''s passive agressive tendencies aggrivates me. It''s amazing how willing people are to bash people via status updates but how unwilling they are to have an adult conversation addressing the issue.

 

[soontowed]

I''m glad you girls support me in my decision to not include her at all in the wedding. It would just make me uncomfortable at this point.

At least I''m going to save a lot of money: I was going to pay for her plane ticket and hotel for the bachelorette party. More money for a cute outfit!