Wedding Crying at the altar. Who did it? Who thinks they will?

[Gwyn]

I cry during movies/tv shows/commercials. Doesn''t matter if it is a sad moment or a happy one.

However, I didnt cry during my engagement and I doubt I will cry at the wedding either. Who knows. We will see in a few months.

 

[diamondfan]

We each had to say vows in hebrew and english. I sort of cried when I said the translation. Hubby still thinks it was the cutest sweetest thing ever. (almost 18 years ago!)

 

[diamondfan]

We each had to say vows in hebrew and english. I sort of cried when I said the translation. Hubby still thinks it was the cutest sweetest thing ever. (almost 18 years ago!)

No real advice for not crying, practicing might work. I also hate to be in public and be speaking, and hate all eyes being on me!

oops double post!

 

[bee*]

I hope I don''t cry! I''m not much of a cryer anyway and I''m really not a pretty cryer so I hope that I don''t. Everytime I hear that gospel choir that are playing at our wedding, I get teary eyed though so I''m not sure if I ''m going to last the whole thing without bawling. I doubt D will cry though.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

That was probably my biggest wedding worry! I fully expected to be a blubbering wreck- I cry in church when certain hymns are sung, when the organ music begins and if anything especially moving is said. At other people's weddings, at Christenings, at any solemn occasion. On my wedding day? Not a single tear. I have no idea why. I also hate speaking in public, but that wasn't an issue on the day either.

Our vows were the very traditional words of the Church of Scotland, and when I've heard them at other weddings, they've always and without fail made me cry, just those words. My parents and grandparents used these vows - everyone in my family as far back as we can trace it who married has said these words (since about 1645). They are full of emotional resonance for me, yet at my own wedding day, they didn't make me cry, for some reason!

You'll be fine, but even if you do cry, so what? It's your perfect day. You are entitled to all the emotion you like! Just have a BM / MOH on hand to touch up mascara etc before any photos. It's going to be fabulous!

Jen

 

[buttercup80]

I will be a crying/laughing mess - my friends joke that we will have to convince my future kids that "mommy" DID want to get married since I will probably be crying by the time we walk up the aisle. . .

I''ve cried at every major life event (for myself AND other people) up until now, don''t see why my wedding''ll be any different. .

 

[Skippy123]

Gypsy, hubby and I did not live together. Also, my sister was getting married 3 weeks after me so I realized everything was changing all at once. You probably don''t know this but I am not good w/change in general; I have a hard time w/it. hehe I read about your granpa; glad he is doing better.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/12/2008 9:43:33 PM
Author: neatfreak
Well, in interest of full disclosure I cried at the Little Mermaid last week. So I thought I'd be a complete mess at my wedding, but really, my eyes welled up a bit and that was IT! I was so shocked because usually I cry at everything, so you might surprise yourself.

I cry at everything too, and J tends to look at me with one eyebrow up as if I'm crazy because he's cried like twice in his life. If he looks at all emotional (which is totally not the norm for him no matter the situation), I will be a highly unattractive blubbering mess, I have noooo doubt.

 

[Stephanie]

I suppose that I will be tearful, but not full out bawling. That being said, I have an issue with being queasy when very nervous. When FI proposed, I almost got "sick." I''m praying that doesn''t happen. I hope can handle a few tears falling over the alternative.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/12/2008 11:16:44 PM
Author: Gypsy


Kimberly, I think it''s sweet that you cried (and didn''t ruin the makeup)! Do you have a video?

We have a video, sitting in a cupboard that needs to be transferred to VHS. How silly is that almost 2 years later?

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Date: 5/12/2008 9:43:33 PM
Author: neatfreak
Well, in interest of full disclosure I cried at the Little Mermaid last week. So I thought I''d be a complete mess at my wedding, but really, my eyes welled up a bit and that was IT! I was so shocked because usually I cry at everything, so you might surprise yourself.

this is hopeful! i cry at EVERYTHING....commercials even. i assume that i will be a mess walking down the aisle...my Fi is already prepared, knowing how i am already. i would love to surprise myself and not start bawling. a few tears i can deal...i just dont want to start and not be able to stop

 

[isaku5]

These stories are great!! So glad to hear that Grandpa is doing well!!

When I was much younger, I cried at every sad animal movie I went to and while reading Black Beauty, Bambi and Old Yeller; in fact, I probably would again if I read or saw the same books and movies. Last weekend DH and I rented "PS I Love You" and both of us had tears streaming down our faces.

To answer your question, Gypsy, about my dad''s crying setting me off too; strangely, for a weeper, I kept it together. I don''t remember what kind of cake we had at the wedding either

except that it was three-tiered and had white icing.

Traditionally, fruitcake was usually served at weddings back in the early 60''s, I think.

After our getaway to Canada''s honeymoon capital,Niagara Falls, for a few days, my memory is much clearer

. We had booked a standard room at a great hotel overlooking the Falls at a cost of $14./night(still have the original invoice, lol). When we got to the front desk the manager told us he''d had to change our room, and hoped we were okay with that. A bellboy escorted us to a different area of the hotel entirely and opened the door to the Bridal Suite!! SWEET!!A beautiful room with a canopied bed and on the coffee table in the living room they had delivered Hubby''s request: a dozen red roses and a bottle of champagne!

The next morning, I went to read the room rates, and blurted to Hubby, "We can''t stay here! It''s $65./ night!" His reply was, "That''s fine; we''re staying." At checkout, we looked at the tab and we''d only been charged $14./night. Thanks, Fallsway!

We''ve been back a few times, but the whole area has expanded so much that we always have difficulty picking out which one it is.

Sorry for the ramble, but I wanted everyone to know that some memories last a lifetime.

 

[doodle]

Date: 5/12/2008 11:16:44 PM
Author: Gypsy

Doodle... roflmao. Well... I''m gonna go out of a limb and say... it would cause a few chuckles, and if your FI is anything like John I''d never live down having to read my vows of a cue card cause I panicked... but I think if it makes you less nervous and less inclined to forget them... go for it. But for maximum comic relief do what Miracles''s friend did and tuck it into the cleavage! LOL!


Um. Monster''s Inc. makes me cry. And Finding Nemo. And... well, let''s just salvage what dignity we have shall we.

OMG MOMENT OF BRILLIANCE!!! i will tape them to my FI...right under his chin in big bold permanent marker so i can see it. but you know, with that shiny silver tape so it''ll still go with all the blue in my decor...gotta keep it classy!

 

[sumbride]

I cried so much throughout the planning thinking forward to the day, but on my actual wedding day? Not a SINGLE TEAR! I didn''t cry at all! We were both smiling and happy and at a couple of points we were actually laughing! It was a light-hearted fun and wonderful day! No crying! DH was really surprised because he apparently expected me to need the handkerchiefs I told him had to carry. I did... because it was so hot I needed them to mop my brow during the pictures. I don''t think anybody cried at my wedding, actually... it was rather uplifting music and such too.

 

[blissfulbride]

I think im going to cry like a baby. While we were planning our wedding I saw a bride and I started to cry. lol

 

[Rhea]

I''m a crier. If someone in the room is crying, I cry. I cried during "Iron Man". If something is scary, sad, or looks like it hurt I''ll have tears rolling down my face.

I didn''t cry at the wedding. I was deliriously happy. Practically hysterical, in fact. The day was somewhat surreal and I started it by throwing up in a tube station on our way to breakfast. By the time breakfast was over and we picked out my flowers I was just slightly insane. Everyone kept asking how I felt, but it felt, odd. I can''t describe it. Then we met our photographer and went to the park and I was just smiley and laughing and goofing off. When we went to the actual site I couldn''t sit still. There are great photos of me laughing incredibly hard at god knows what during the ceremony and right afterward. I don''t think I''d ever been happier. It was great.

 

[Elmorton]

I cried while walking down the aisle...that surprised me! Before my own wedding, I always thought it was creepy when brides cry as they''re walking (are they scared? sad? what??) but it was the overwhelming, wonderful feeling of seeing all those faces turn to smile at me and my dad, and I lost it. Then my dad said something very meaningful and sweet when he joined DH''s hand with mine, and I sniffled then, too.

We had 4 readings and a solo, so there was plenty of time to recover. During the rehearsal, I''d teared up when I heard my friend sing so I was convinced I''d cry then, but I also shared a hotel room with all of my friends the night before and heard my friend practicing while I was getting ready, so I made it tear-free though that part.

I''d cried before when practicing my vows, but also I''d practiced a lot, so I was pretty sure I''d make it through, and if I didn''t, I knew exactly which point I''d get choked up. So, it was a complete surprise to me when the line I couldn''t get through was "It''s not very often you find someone who is a true friend and a great writer" (which you may recognize from the end of Charlotte''s Web). To this day, I don''t know why that line got me - DH and I joke about it all the time. Anyway, DH whispered "It''s okay..." and squeezed my hand and then I kept going without too much trouble, though I was a little misty. Apparently, as I was told later, that''s where everyone else started crying too. Luckily, DH''s vows followed mine and they had some comic relief (DH is very orderly and practical, I''m not, and part of his vows addressed this part of our relationship), so everyone was cracking up only moments later.

Anyway, two very smart things - one of DH''s groomsmen went out before the ceremony and bought all the groomsmen and DH some hankies. This was a godsend because it was hot that day and because you never know who will lose it. The other: my something old was a hankie that my great grandmother gave me when I was a baby (it was a baby bonnet that was to be converted back to a hankie for my wedding day). I wrapped it around my bouquet. It was great because I had my own hankie and didn''t have to turn to my MoH for one (one of my friends started bawling at her wedding and kept reaching back for kleenex, and her MoH didn''t understand so she just squeezed her hand- ooops!), AND my hands and Dh''s hands were sweating terribly from nerves/heat so the hankie around the bouquet helped with that.

 

[jas]

DH cried from the moment he saw me throughout the whole ceremony (not a big honking cry, but his eyes welled up a lot)...it mae me misty, but I didn''t cry until our vows to each other...

I had forgotten my vows, the special promises I was going to make!

FORTUNATELY, we were going to just whisper them to each other, so I rambled on about something or other, trying to capture the moment. I ended up with a few "I love you''s" and some other random musings.

DH had written his out...and included just about every "in" joke we have...that''s when I laughed and cried at the same time. I still have that piece of paper...it''s a treasure.

It was my favorite moment, though. I wouldn''t change a thing.

And I wore waterproof mascara.

 

[Octavia]

I''m so glad that Grandpa Gypsy is doing well! I bet he was in hysterics at the bug thing...although I completely sympathize, pincher bugs are horrible

I actually didn''t cry at my engagement because I was too shocked, but I remember thinking "um...I think maybe I should be crying" and then I realized what I was thinking and laughed hysterically for 20 minutes and couldn''t stop. I think I''d *rather* cry at the wedding than have that happen, but luckily I have a lot more time to gear up for the wedding and mentally prepare myself than I did for the proposal.

 

[turtledazzle]

Like Monarch, I think I may have been too exhausted and stressed to be overly emotional. I welled up a little here and there, but overall we''re just smiling and laughing during most of the ceremony. We wrote our vows together (using our officiant''s template of sorts ... worked great for us), so that part really wasn''t a surprise, but our guests said it was a great ceremony and gave the officiant huge props.

Even if we had gotten emotional, we definitely had comic release during our ceremony. We got married outside of a very well-known building that attracts a lot of tourists (reception followed inside). We got married on a Sunday, when the building is closed. However, during our ceremony a tour bus drives through the circular driveway in front of the building, and STOPS and everyone on the bus starts taking pictures. Ever notice how LOUD buses are???

So, the officiant pauses, we all laugh, then when the bus drove away the officiant made some hilarious joke. Ceremony goes on ... and a few minutes later the bus comes around AGAIN and stops AGAIN right in front of our ceremony. Honestly, I didn''t know whether to be p*ssed off or just laugh hysterically. I had an out-of-body kind of moment where I thought about going bridezilla on the bus driver''s *ss. But, really, it was hilarious and is a funny story to tell.

 

[anchor31]

I''m a cryer... And I hope I won''t cry on the day of.

 

[Harleigh]

I don''t know...I think I may finally be so relieved to be in Maui and marrying my FI that I won''t have any tears left by the time the ceremony rolls around, but I tend to get emotional at the oddest times, so no telling. My parents may also play a part in this if they in any way try to ruin my day. I ended up in tears because of things they said to me on Mother''s Day, so as long as I can stay away from both of them until the ceremony, then I think I will be okay. I am the ugliest crier I have ever seen...yucko!

FI never cries, so I am pretty sure he won''t even get misty before, during or after. If he did, I would probably faint!

Gypsy...so glad to hear your grandpa is doing so well! I would''ve loved to have seen him going uppy-downy in his new bed! How fun!

 

[applequeen]

OK.... I''m the type who cries at commercials so of course I cried through my vows... I was a teary mess from the rehearsal all the way to the drive to the hotel after the wedding. They were happy tears but the fact that everyone important in my life was in one place for the most important day in my life overwhelmed me. I''m 30 and I still have all 4 of my grandparents (some of which are in poor health) and I was constantly reminded of how lucky I was that they were all there for it. I''m tearing up just thinking about it!

I also hate to be the center of attention and I hate crying in front of people but by the time the ceremony came around I''d just accepted that it was going to happen. I held it together all the way down the aisle but when my dad kissed me on the cheek when he gave me away I totally lost it. I became a sobbing mess but did manage to pull myself together to say my vows. I couldn''t look at my husband the whole time but luckily he''s 6''4 and so I just focused on his chin.

The funny thing was that once I lost it I could hear several of the guests loose it too! I knew exactly where all my friends were sitting because the sobbing from that section was the loudest!

My husband says he just remembers having to hold my hand (which was holding a sopping wet tissue) and wishing he could wipe his hand off.

Once I got my wedding DVD the videographer had edited it to remove the sobbing part so it''s like it never even happened. Only 2 of the pictures show that i''ve been crying (and they''re pretty funny to look at).

I''ve always been the "crier" in my family and I guess I always will be... I''m Ok with that... and the fact that I cried so much on my wedding day doesn''t change how happy it made me one bit. I later learned that my grandmother had been in a similar state at my mother''s wedding... so I guess I know where I inheritied the "crying" gene. Of course, on my my dad''s side I have an aunt who cried non-stop on her wedding day... there was no hope for me.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Oh, I thought I was going to be a complete mess L! I am a emotional person and this was my biggest wedding fear. Well, I was calm, cool and collected. You want to know my secret?

DH and I had a private moment (and photo opt) before the ceremony. That way I squeezed out a few tears privately and got it out of my system for the ceremony. Plus we got some great photos.

 

[HollyS]

When we got to the ''until we are parted by death'' (Episcopalian version), we both teared up and had to compose ourselves. An elderly couple we loved very much had just been ''parted by death'' a few days previously. It was still very raw and upsetting to us. They had been married for 62 years when she suffered a stroke and passed a few weeks later.

 

[winston26]

Sheesh! I cried reading this post! I''m very glad I''m not the only one worried about this. I don''t recall my friends crying at their weddings, maybe a few tears but no sobbing anyway. So I''m worried I will be a sobbing mess and they''ll think "WOW!" That and it bugs me my Dad passed away last year so I will sob all the way down the aisle. I''m a swelled up eyelids, red splotchy face and puffy nose kind of crier!! It''s very ugly! I cried for months over my brother getting married. His reader started crying during the reading and the whole church started up.....everyone except my sister-in-law! Her Dad had died a few years prior also. I don''t know how she did it, but then again, she''s not nearly as emotional as I am so I don''t know if that counts. She claims she was more worried my brother would make her laugh.

 

[doodle]

i went to a friend''s wedding a while back, and it was apparent as soon as she started coming up the aisle and even moreso when we talked to her after the ceremony that she had take a couple valium before the wedding. she was crying and simultaneously going "weee!" as her father walked her down the aisle, and NO, i''m not even kidding!!

our wedding venue is a really pretty banquet hall out in the country, and unfortunately, there''s a farm next door with a ton of cows and sheep. hopefully, they''ll be hanging out on the opposite side of the farm on our wedding day, but if not, they like to roam over near the lake where the mooing and baaing is audible from the venue. my FI and i have an inside joke and call each other "mooshoo" when we''re being stupid--if i hear cattle at the wedding, i KNOW i will burst into uncontrollable laughter! this is my greatest wedding fear!

 

[Dandi]

I very rarely cry at or about anything, but I thought the one time I would absolutely, definitely shed a tear was walking down the isle with my dad, because I KNEW he would. And on the day there was not a tear to be seen anywhere, just dozens of smiling faces. I was amazed! And pleasantly surprised, because I paid enough for my makeup to not have it smush all over my face!

 

[kellybelly]

i''m less afraid of the crying (which i can control) and more afraid of my notoriously nervous stomach!

 

[ephemery1]

I am a HUGE crier... everything gets me. Commercials, deep conversations, touching moments on the street when I'm walking to the grocery store (!)... everything. I was an emotional wreck for the weeks before my wedding, contemplating all the ways my life/identity/self would be changing, and mourning the detachment from my family of origin... almost inconsolable. DH was terrified of me.

Then the wedding weekend arrived... and I cried heartily at DH's speech at the rehearsal dinner (to be fair, so did everyone else in the crowd, so it wasn't just me!) Then woke up the day of the wedding..... ALL SMILES.

I was calm, peaceful and deeply, deeply happy. I practically floated down the aisle... grinned like an idiot during the entire ceremony, gazing into DH's eyes... and when I caught my best friend's eye while she sang, we both got the giggles. I was literally bouncy with happiness from start to finish.

Afterwards, I had at least 4-5 guests who were brides-to-be ask me how I did it... and I said I think I'd just spent sooooooo much time processing the difficult emotions beforehand, that by the day of the wedding, all I had left to focus on was total joy and contentment. It was an amazing feeling, and an amazing day.

I can't remember the last time I laughed so much, so genuinely.