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Critiques and critizism for 2 options

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bfready

Rough_Rock
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Feb 18, 2007
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91
This is a little long, so please bear with me...

If all goes well with my appraisal tomorrow and Mark Morrell setting my diamond, I should have the ring in about a month. I know I won't want to just hold on to it, so I have to prepare the presentation. I have a problem though because I've been thinking about doing one thing until another idea came to mind. Here are the two possible scenarios so far:

#1 GF is a very busy and stressed young lady (working a full time job, raising her 3 yr old daughter, occasionally taking classes to get her masters, etc.) so I thought I'd get her a package deal at a local spa, maybe even get a couples deal for both of us. Then I'd take her shopping to buy a nice new dress to wear later in the evening. Then I'd take her someplace where a hot air balloon would be waiting to take up on a private balloon trip (she has always wanted to go in one). Once we got finished with that, we'd change into nice clothes (me in some nice, boring guy's dressy outfit, she in her new dress) and a limo would take us out to her favorite restaurant.

The problems with scenario #1: This will likely be a similar problem with #2... I don't know when to actaully propose. I wouldn't want to do it early in the day at a spa. And the balloon would be nice, but I'd feel a little weird being so close to the balloon captain, especially since it wouldn't be somebody I know. That leaves dinner, but that would obviously be really late in the day. Also, I'd feel like I was cheating with the balloon thing. Last year her uncle bought her aunt a balloon ride as an anniversary gift. That just happened and her whole family was there for it, and I don't want everybody to think I'm unoriginal.


#2 Hadn't thought about anything like this until I was reading our local paper's Travel section on Sunday. Besides being very busy GF is also very Irish (I am not, but I will allow bagpipes at the wedding because I think they're really cool). She's talked about wanting to take a trip to Ireland someday when we don't have so much to do and have more money. Back to the Travel section... There was an article about a bed & breakfast that this couple renovated to look inside and out like an Irish castle. They offer various package deals with things like a massage, champagne, candies - you know, the typical b&b fare. They also have a courtyard that looks fairly secluded, at least on the website, and would work for a private proposal. I thought I could tell GF that we're taking a trip to "Ireland". She knows I couldn't afford such a thing on a student's salary, so there wouldn't be an disappointment when she found out where we were really going.

Problems with scenario #2: The b&b is about 2 1/2 hours away. I'm not completely sure I could act like myself long enough in a car ride to keep her from getting suspicious of me. Also, there wouldn't be any family or friends around, but I don't exactly know if she'd want them around for it anyway, but at least a private proposal closer to home gives her that option.

She knows I'm up to something because I've been spending a lot of time on the computer looking at stuff she can't see. I told her I was planning something for her b-day which is in about 3 weeks, but because of the timing of her b-day and the weather she might not get it right away. Actually the ring might not be ready by then and I need time to schedule anyway. Sorry this took so long to tell, but if you're still with me, I'd appreciate any feedback. I'm also open to any new suggestions anyone may have as well.

Thanks in advance. ETA: And when you're critiquing, please don't criticize the spelling of my topic's name. I just noticed that and I don't know how to change it.
 

KristyDarling

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 27, 2005
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3,856
Aww, both ideas are great! Personally, I''d LOVE to be proposed to first thing in the morning, all warm and cozy in bed. Or, at the breakfast table when you''re both still in your jammies. (make her a delicious breakfast and put the ring on top of a stack of pancakes?) How sweet, private, and intimate is that?! Plus, you''ll *really* catch her off-guard that way! Then, follow that up with a day full of indulgent surprises such as the ones you described in option 1....and that will definitely make for an unforgettable proposal day! I just think that if you take her through the string of fun activities without proposing first, she''ll catch on very soon and start getting suspicious. (unless you regularly take her out on days full of fun surprises!)

The B&B idea is sweet too, but like you said, she might catch on during the long car ride. Or, you could make up some phony reason for needing to drive so far, i.e. you could collaborate with some close friends and have them pretend to invite you guys up to a "picnic" 2 1/2 hours away, just so she doesn''t guess what the real purpose of the trip is. And you could even have your friends hiding inside the B&B ready with a camera, snapping away as you propose in the courtyard. And how fun would it be to celebrate all together as a group afterwards! (just as long as they leave you guys alone later on to have your own private celebration)
 

KristyDarling

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
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3,856
Oh, and you said she has a 3 year old daughter. You know what would really knock her socks off? Is if you involved her daughter in some way -- even a very small gesture would be touching. After your GF accepts the proposal, present the kid with a little bauble of her own, to symbolize the 3 of you becoming a family. Maybe a little gold locket that has a picture of the 3 of you? That would make the little girl (and her mom) feel so special, included, and happy!
 

bfready

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
91
I thought about getting something for her daughter. The only problem is that the little one's dad is still in the picture in that he takes her for a couple days a week (sigh), and I don't want there to be a big fight about him thinking that I want to replace him as dad and all that drama. I'm content just being stepdad, but in this all-too-common situation, emotions run high and rational thought doesn't, so he might interpret a little locket or other token gift differently than it is really intended.

I know this strays a little from the original purpose of my post, but has anyone else dealt with a similar issue? What did you do?
 

JulieN

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jul 25, 2005
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13,324
I don't think that's a problem. Just keep it simple, cute, suitable.
 
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