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Cristal For Valentines day? Is it a bit much ?

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Mrs.soontobealfonzo

Rough_Rock
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Nov 9, 2006
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My fiance bought a bottle of Cristal for valentines day. He suprise me with it at the apartment after a wonderful romantic dinner at a fondue spot. Where might I add I had a bottle of bubbly. I was so shocked that I ruined everything by telling him he was crazy for spending so much. I even asked if we could return it. I know! I hurt his feeling, and now he is so upset at me. We were celebrating being engaged and living together. I feel awful and my friend are telling me I better kiss his butt. He wanted to impress me, but the logical side of me came out at the wrong time. I love extravagant things, but they should be practial. Doesn''t anyone agree, am I the only one who thinks like this? I spent 645 on my LV and that made sense to me, because they last years. Where as cristal you just drink and pee out lol

your thoughts ladies
 

ammayernyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
Messages
1,268
Appologize. Kiss his butt.
He tried to do something nice for you -- it was just a bottle of champagne, not so crazy. Don''t be ungrateful.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
i have to say i hate when i get someone a gift and they exclaim over how expensive it was or how i 'shouldn't have'. that is not the point of giving the present. greg does this sometimes because he is practical and thinks in terms of what one 'needs'...but for me it's not about cost. it's about the thought. maybe it was really important for him to splurge to show that this day was SPECIAL to him. and you should recognize that. to me practical has nothing to do with giving a present...as presents typically come from an emotional space in someone's heart and cannot be termed as practical.

i would definitely say you are sorry, you don't have to 'kiss his butt' but i would just say 'i'm sorry, your gift was very thoughtful and i spoke before thinking'...and enjoy that bubbly while taking a bath or something fun. get some chocolate covered strawberries. i am SO not practical, for me it's not fun at all! i am all about pleasure and having fun and living life. good luck!
 

ephemery1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2006
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1,724
If it makes you feel any better, I probably would have reacted similarly.
I really appreciate splurging on luxurious things once in a while (like your LV bag purchase sounds totally reasonable to me!), and I LOOOVE champagne and fancy dinners and other more "transient" luxuries... but the whole time I was drinking that bottle, I''d probably be thinking "I could have had that David Yurman pendant for this cost!"


That being said, when it is a gift somebody else is giving us, I think sometimes we just have to force ourselves to forget about the more practical way WE would have spent the money, and appreciate the sentiment behind it. I don''t blame you at all for your initial reaction... but it would probably make sense to apologize and let him know you were just really surprised.

And if I''d already been drinking champagne that night, I''d maybe save the expensive bottle for another special occasion... but if you guys did go ahead and drink it, I hope you enjoyed it despite your shock!!
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
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17,193
Date: 2/15/2007 11:35:13 AM
Author: Mara
i have to say i hate when i get someone a gift and they exclaim over how expensive it was or how i ''shouldn''t have''. that is not the point of giving the present. greg does this sometimes because he is practical and thinks in terms of what one ''needs''...but for me it''s not about cost. it''s about the thought. maybe it was really important for him to splurge to show that this day was SPECIAL to him. and you should recognize that. to me practical has nothing to do with giving a present...as presents typically come from an emotional space in someone''s heart and cannot be termed as practical.

i would definitely say you are sorry, you don''t have to ''kiss his butt'' but i would just say ''i''m sorry, your gift was very thoughtful and i spoke before thinking''...and enjoy that bubbly while taking a bath or something fun. get some chocolate covered strawberries. i am SO not practical, for me it''s not fun at all! i am all about pleasure and having fun and living life. good luck!
Well, here''s some advice from me...ms ULTRA practical....

Practically speaking, you only live once. Also practically speaking, what is worth more...the cost of the bubbly or making your man feel good about himself (as I am sure he was excited about giving you such a nice bottle)?

I know just saying thank you can be hard for some (I''m not implying you weren''t thankful, btw)...it look me awhile before I could graciously say it when I didn''t feel like I deserved whatever was being given (gift, compliment, etc). But it''s a good thing to learn.


Hope you enjoyed it if you drank it already!
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
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40,198
MY DF handles our finances and is very responsible with them and if he felt it was the appropriate gift to commemorate the occasion... well, I would hope I would not hurt his feelings and chastise him for the gesture. However... in surprise situations I don''t react well. I would probably have had the same reaction you did... and felt HORRIBLE for it afterwards. Because the ladies above are right.

It''s a present, he felt that it was the correct present to celebrate something that is obviously worth celebrating BIG TIME in his mind. It''s not the champagne you rejected. It''s the fact that he really felt this was something extraordinary that derserved special distinction in his mind that you rejected. And I would grovel. I really would.
 

SuzyQZ

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Joined
Feb 20, 2006
Messages
1,420
You know, I''ve reacted like you did once too. My husband brought home a bottle of Dom and TWO containers of Beluga Caviar for our anniversary. I was like "what???" the first thing out of my mouth was "how much did this cost?" When he told me I couldn''t hide my shock


I think it''s a men are from mars women are from venus thing.

To my husband''s thinking his splurging was saying "I love you, we''re worth it, let''s have fun"

My thinking was "This is a waste of money, I''ll have nothing to show for it except an empty bottle and I don''t even LIKE Beluga caviar!"

When I saw how much I hurt my husbands feelings by what I said I felt really bad
. I tried to backpeddle as best I could, but you can''t unring a bell. I made a promise to myself right there and then that if he ever splurged on me again I would be grateful and appreciative. What''s the alternative? That he not hold these special occasions dear to his heart or that I kill his romanticism?

I''m happy to say that he has continued to surprise me and splurge from time to time and I''ve learned to take a breath before I speak. I need to remind myself that I/we deserve what he does for me/us. If we can afford it and it does not cause any undue financial hardship, I figure he can decide how to spend our money just as much as I can.

Don''t kiss his butt, but definitely say you are sorry and try to make amends. Encourage him to express himself and be spontaneous again and don''t let your practical side rule over your heart.

Just two cents from a happily married woman.
 

Mrs.soontobealfonzo

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
89
SuzyQZ,

Thank you that was beautiful and exactly how I felt. We have made up and we agreed to pop the bottle on saturday. I told him we will not be popping any cristal till the wedding day. thank you all so very much. That why I love this place !

Great women
Great advice
&
Great diamonds
 

wifey2b

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
772
Date: 2/15/2007 10:55:23 AM
Author:Mrs.soontobealfonzo
My fiance bought a bottle of Cristal for valentines day. He suprise me with it at the apartment after a wonderful romantic dinner at a fondue spot. Where might I add I had a bottle of bubbly. I was so shocked that I ruined everything by telling him he was crazy for spending so much. I even asked if we could return it. I know! I hurt his feeling, and now he is so upset at me. We were celebrating being engaged and living together. I feel awful and my friend are telling me I better kiss his butt. He wanted to impress me, but the logical side of me came out at the wrong time. I love extravagant things, but they should be practial. Doesn''t anyone agree, am I the only one who thinks like this? I spent 645 on my LV and that made sense to me, because they last years. Where as cristal you just drink and pee out lol

your thoughts ladies
It is so hard to be sensitive when one is think OMW!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$!!!!!!!!!!....
Strm knows that I do not want him to go and buy me roses on Valentine''s due to the fact they jump the price so high for the commercialism of the day...now he can buy them for me any time he wants, but he knows I do not want him to spend megabucks on roses that might not last long...now if carnations are not extreme - he knows he is ok for that - giggle...
It isn''t a matter of me not loving to have them for the reason of the expression of love, but he is the type that would rather give them when he wanted too.
I would have been unsensitive too I am afraid - cuz I am always...you didn''t spend too much on me now did you...giggle
Maybe a nice little gesture will show him that you really did appreciate his kindness and romantic way and that you are very sorry for hurting his feelings.
All the best!!!
 

FireGoddess

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 25, 2005
Messages
12,145
I see where you were coming from, but I do think you owe him an apology. It was very thoughtful of him and that wasn''t the time for the practical side to come out!!! Those comments are best reserved for a neutral time when they can''t be directly applied to a recent action.
 

rainbowtrout

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 2, 2005
Messages
2,105
well, I would have to ask if you two can afford it or if he has a history of buying things he can''t afford first...

if you two CAN afford it (and I say you two bc you are engaged, so your finances will pretty soon be one) then I agree with the above girls..


if not, then I don''t know that aplogizing is a good idea.
 

winternight

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
887
Well I think the bottle was for both of you in a way. You should def. apologize. Things like jewelry and a purse are for one person while a bottle of champagne is to be enjoyed as a couple. Personally I love an extravagent dinner now and then. My fiance once surprised me with a bottle of dessert wine that was very pricey - like a couple of hundred - and while I wouldn''t have spent so much I fussed over him for letting me have that experience.
 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
i agree---he put a lot of thought into it and wanted to treat you. it''s his money and he can spend it as he pleases and you should be grateful he spent it on you!
if he was doing this every weekend and spending lavishly for no good reason---you have a point, but this was for valentines day!
 

Scooba

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 10, 2006
Messages
431
it''s personal choice, I''ve drank alot of Cristal, usually not on our tab, and I think it''s worth it when you are celebrating, everyone knows it isn''t practical, but I''m sure you can afford it of FI wouldn''t have done it, if money is tight I''d be mad

the only time I ever got mad at FI for something like this was when he bought a very overpriced $300 of Moet at a club and poured for everyone, like not our friends, friends of friends, I wouldn''t have been mad if I got to drink the whole thing but I was mad at him for giving it away, that I thought was a waste

I''d be really sad if I took FI out and surprised him like that and he was upset about it
 
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