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Wedding Crazy Aunt F strikes again... Would you say something?

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Independent Gal

Independent Gal

Ideal_Rock
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Nov 12, 2006
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Remember Crazy Aunt F? Well, I was talking to my dad last night, and apparently, she had made a HUUUUUGE deal before the wedding about how she had sent us an "extremely generous cheque" as a gift. She apparently talked about this cheque for about half an hour, then brought up her generosity again about 16 times over dinner with my dad and my grandma. Generous generous generous Aunt F!

Except that. Well. We never received a cheque.

It's entirely possible that

a) she didn't send the cheque and never had any intention of doing so, but wanted everyone else to think that she had (Insane? Yes! But it would be 100% in character)
b) she didn't send it, but meant to, and just, well forgot.
c) she DID send the cheque and it somehow got lost.


So, now, what would you do? Would you say something just in case it did get lost? Get Grandma to say something?

The thing is, my money is on option 'a' so my temptation to say something or get grandma to say something is probably motivated by less than saintly urges: as in, the childish part of me wants to puncture her self-serving ridiculous lie.
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But my saintly excuse for being a b!tch is that if it IS option 'c', and I were her, I would want to know that my "generous" cheque was floating around out there somewhere and hadn't reached its destination.

Anyway, so what would you do?

ETA: the less than saintly-urge would have nothing to do with the actual money. Much, much more childish than that!
 
BTW, original thread here:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-crazy-aunt.67115/

With update here:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/crazy-aunt-update.67575/
 
hahahahahahaha!

ok, although your motivations could potentially be less than saintly, the thought that this GENEROUS cheque could be floating around, IMO, outweighs everything else.
If its situation a, and grandma mentions it to her, crazy aunt could just fake a "oh maybe it got lost, ill look into it" and that would be that.
if its situation b, and grandma mentions it to her, crazy aunt would probably be somewhat upset that you never received the cheque and i dont think she could fake genuine upset-ness.
same with situation c, if she knows she sent it it will really concern her/upset her that you didnt get it and she will definately look into it.

on a side note, my parents once left a wedding present for someone at the bride''s parents house between the 2 front doors. my mom even swears she got a thank-you card for it, but when the next sibling''s wedding came my family was not invited!!! this cousin went on to tell my mom''s brothers'' family... (knida confusing) that because no wedding gift was received the first time around, the invitation was obviously not appreciated and therefore not offered again!!!!!! so, from someone who has seen how upset ppl can get when a gift they know was given (and in this case received!!!!) was not received (in your case) i''d see how subtle your grandma can be!!!

sry for being so long! :)
 
Well of course you should say something. You can''t write a thank you note for a gift you didn''t recieve and not writing the note to your generous aunt would be very rude indead.
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Date: 5/16/2008 2:42:50 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy
Well of course you should say something. You can''t write a thank you note for a gift you didn''t recieve and not writing the note to your generous aunt would be very rude indead.
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Ditto!
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I''d mention it. But then again, if she sent the check she can see if it''s been cashed or not. If she actually wanted you to have it she might have pulled you aside and mentioned that the check hadn''t cleared her account and did you get it. Now I''m confused. To mention it would be kinda, well, you said it best.

I think I''d still mention it. I''d be motivated by not the best intentions though.
 
I''d mention it. I''d just say that she should check her account as you never recieved it, and your are concerned it may have been misdirected or stolen.
 
I would also definitely mention it.
 
I would approach Aunt Crazy directly. "I understand that you sent us an extremely generous check as a wedding gift. I'm so sorry to have to tell you that we never received it. It must have gotten lost--or stolen
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Please notify your bank for a stop payment. We are so upset and I know that you are, as well." Say this with the proper amount of emotional content
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If the check existed and was lost, she can do something about it. If there was no check, she will either have to produce one or, at least, stop going on about it. Good luck with Aunt Crazy!
 
Definitely mention it.

My great aunt sent me a check upon my highschool graduation. She then told my grandmother that the check had cleared but she hadn''t gotten a thank you note. Grandmother called my mom to ask about my manners, mom asked me about it... I never received the check. It was stolen from our mailbox. We filed a police report, aunt faxed a copy of the endorsement, bank took the money back from the thief that DEPOSITED it in HIS account, and the police threatened him and he moved. Aunt got her thank you note.

That''s PROBABLY not what happened to you, but hey, either way, if she''s telling people she sent you money and you don''t have the money, it''s public enough to say "We didn''t get it!"
 
I just read the other posts about Aunt F. Wow! She''s a serious handful.
I would definitely mention the check to her or she will drone on and on that you are ungrateful.
Although I''m guessing it''s pretty much scenario A! But at least you did what you could if you tell her you didn''t get it.


I can''t believe how patient you are with this woman! I am having big issues with my Aunt also. The family motto has always been "just let her be!" whenever she says something out of line. She says rude comments behind your back and then later never remembers them. So how can you discuss that if she denies it all? I for once in my life decided I should not let some rude comments "be" and let her know I felt she was out of line. She replied with a 4 page typed letter sent priority delivery confirmation full of excuses and questioning my character and quoting Bible passages! My Mom wrote a nice reply (because I''m stressed out and don''t have time for this BS) saying she''s disappointed to read something like that and how everyone should move on and forgive in order to have fun at the wedding---this prompted another letter that went through mom''s letter line by line with new excuses, guilt trips, and accusations. Of course, this is all my fault and she demands an apology from me. Same kind of "can''t win" situation although your Aunt is much more extreme. You are a very loving relative to look past her ways as best you can. I chose not to invite my Aunt to the wedding, and her actions were much less insulting. Now you have me re-thinking that! Although in her case, I think she does know proper behavior. You''re right--everyone has a crazy relative!
 
I would get someone to tell her that in conversing with you somehow the lack of the check came up. Such as, Oh, I was talking to Indy the other day and said how nice it was that you, (Aunt F, or Captain Insano) gave her such a generous check. Well, apparently, Aunt F, she did not get it. Maybe it is lost? Or that you were writing thank you notes and somehow her gift came up, to which you replied you had not received it...your dad, or whoever is the one telling her, could say, So Aunt F, gosh, I am really concerned that your lovely and generous check is out there somewhere, as Indy definitely did not get it.

This way, you are nicely, without getting into it personally, sending a message. If she did NOT send it, now she kinda has to, since you ALL will now be wondering. If she did send it, she might have to cancel it through her bank and issue another.

But she does tend to be naughty so it is really anyone's guess if "the check is in the mail" or not.
 
Thanks everyone.

I drafted an e-mail and then I couldn''t send it. It was very carefully worded so as not to be rude, but the thing is you just never know with this woman, and I don''t want to risk it.

So I think I''m going to go with Diamond Fan and let my dad handle it. That will make me feel less guilty too, because telling my grammy would, let''s face it, be manipulative, whereas my dad already knows the situation.

OK, one phone call to daddy, coming up!
 
I think you should say something. On the off-chance that she actually DID send the check, for which she''s not going to get a thank-you note, which might make her crazier.
OR, you could call her bluff and send a thank you note thanking her for the "generous check", then if she never really sent it she might think she''s going crazy
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oooh! Let us know what happens!
 
How awkward. I would not address this directly with your Aunt. It is a shame, but even if your Dad mentions it to her... I bet she will make an issue of it..

Like some how it was your fault... don''t hold your breath,, The check is in the mail.

I am sorry there is so much drama with her. Sounds like she has to be the center of attention.

Did she attend your wedding Indy ?

By the way, I loved all of your photographs.. you are a beautiful women. Inside and out.

Congratulations
 
Date: 5/17/2008 10:03:34 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Thanks everyone.


I drafted an e-mail and then I couldn''t send it. It was very carefully worded so as not to be rude, but the thing is you just never know with this woman, and I don''t want to risk it.


So I think I''m going to go with Diamond Fan and let my dad handle it. That will make me feel less guilty too, because telling my grammy would, let''s face it, be manipulative, whereas my dad already knows the situation.


OK, one phone call to daddy, coming up!
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Good call on not doing it by email since people can sort of read into things as much or as little as they want with text (even normal, non-crazies, I mean) since there''s no tone. It''s by FAR safer to have it done in regular conversation. And even better that it won''t be you having to have said conversation!
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Aren''t you sweet Crystalheart! What a kind thing to say.

I''ve asked my dad to mention to F that we haven''t received the cheque. We''ll see what happens.

And yes, she attended the wedding. But I barely noticed she was there... it really wasn''t that bad. It was harder not to notice her enormous, ungracious, and uninvited guest, who didn''t so much as thank me or give me good wishes. She sent her RSVP in about a month late (claiming that she''d sent it MONTHS ago) and it basically said "Family occasions are so important. And that''s why your grandfather [whom I was very close to...he died about 10 years ago] would be so disappointed in you if you don''t let me bring my friend. Signed, F."

That was the whole RSVP. no congrats. No good wishes. No ''looking forward to it!'' Ahaha. She''s pretty good.
 
HI:

There were wedding pictures posted here?????????????

Since the discussion was between your Dad and your Aunt, I would let him redress the issue with her; I am sure your Dad know how to "handle" your Aunt by now. Hope this situation is resolved and put to rest without further ado.

cheers--Sharon
 
Let us know what happens, I''m nosy!
 
I''ll let you know if I hear anything! Hopefully alllll I''ll ''hear'' is a fat cheque in the mail (damages for pain and suffering
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)

OK, a little part of me is hoping for a teensy bit of drama-that-I-personally-don''t-have-to-deal-with just for the entertainment value.

I am SUCH a bad, bad person.
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hehe...I don''t think you''re a bad person, Indy. I think you''re completely justified. If anything is able to ruffle my feathers, it''s people thinking I''m stupid (hence the craptastic GPS thieves scenario). You hold yourself together so well...I would have called her by now, pretending to be all concerned. I probably would have won an award.
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Hehe.

btw..while we''re asking for updates...I was thinking about that post you made about your missing friend. Did you ever find him? I hope he was okay!!
 
Hey Lucky, the disappeared friend really DID disappear. I never heard from him again! A friend of mine saw him in a bar in NYC, so at least I know he''s still alive.

I still have absolutely NO clue what happened that made him ''dump'' me. And it still makes me sad. I really, really enjoyed his company, and I cared about him a lot.
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Date: 5/17/2008 3:05:42 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I''ll let you know if I hear anything! Hopefully alllll I''ll ''hear'' is a fat cheque in the mail (damages for pain and suffering
2.gif
)


OK, a little part of me is hoping for a teensy bit of drama-that-I-personally-don''t-have-to-deal-with just for the entertainment value.


I am SUCH a bad, bad person.
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Click to expand...

Lol, you are TOTALLY not a bad person Indy! Crazy Aunt F strikes again...
 
Date: 5/17/2008 3:05:42 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I''ll let you know if I hear anything! Hopefully alllll I''ll ''hear'' is a fat cheque in the mail (damages for pain and suffering
2.gif
)


OK, a little part of me is hoping for a teensy bit of drama-that-I-personally-don''t-have-to-deal-with just for the entertainment value.


I am SUCH a bad, bad person.
38.gif
11.gif
Click to expand...

Lol, you are TOTALLY not a bad person Indy! Crazy Aunt F strikes again...
 
Date: 5/17/2008 5:06:12 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Hey Lucky, the disappeared friend really DID disappear. I never heard from him again! A friend of mine saw him in a bar in NYC, so at least I know he''s still alive.

I still have absolutely NO clue what happened that made him ''dump'' me. And it still makes me sad. I really, really enjoyed his company, and I cared about him a lot.
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Aww that''s terrible! How bizarre.....
Well at least you know he''s alive and breathing! Perhaps he just needed a break from reality for a bit.
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When I first read your title last week, I thought you were talking about "Aunt Flo" like it was some story about getting cramps during the ceremony or something. lol I''m losing it!!!
 
I just love these Crazy Aunt F stories...I can''t wait to see how this one turns out.

Please do keep us posted!
 
Hey IG,
Having just read your previous threads I agree with bringing it up but would let your dad handle it. You''ve copped enough unnecessary abuse from this woman-and it''s possible that she''s talked about the cheque so much that even if she didn''t send it she might start to believe that she has!!

Good luck!
 
indy, i LOVE stories about your family! mine''s just as nutty, so you''re not alone, haha. between aunt crazy and DR. big shot, i think you deserve a medal!!! ...o r something shiny that''s a little prettier...
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