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Crazy about dates?

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megumic

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
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1,647
I think I''m going crazy. Over the past week I''ve been obsessively thinking about how I HAVE to get married in 2010. For some reason 2011, or 2012 or 2013 just feel wrong to me. (Please, no disrespect or offense to those getting married in those years!) It''s not necessarily a bad feeling about these other years, it just doesn''t feel right. Plus, I have the looming idea that if I wait until 2011 or thereafter, I''ll be older than I''d like when I get married. It all seems SO ridiculous and silly...but is it?

Am I full of it? Or does this happen to others too?! I feel like I''m going nuts...
 

Snicklefritz

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
1,552
I''ve felt a little bit like this before. I was initially planning for 2010 also, but then decided I wanted a long engagement so 2010 is out. I wasn''t crazy about 2011 because I like even numbers better. But then I decided I was just being silly and that 2011 would work just fine. It sounds to me like you''re just struggling to adapt to the change of potentially getting married in 2011 or 12 instead of 2010. That''s certainly a jump, and will require some time to adjust to, but if your with the right person, and you don''t feel resentment towards him for putting the wedding off, then I suggest taking a deep breath, and start thinking how nice 2011 or 2012 could be.
 

lucyandroger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
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1,557
Silly? Crazy?...maybe. But I am too!


For some reason, the numbers that make up the date are very important to me. I can''t even explain what''s wrong with some dates or what makes some dates just right...it''s like a weird gut feeling.

For example, if we can do it, I really want to get married on a single digit day or the 30th. I don''t know why but I just like those dates better. Of course, if it''s not convenient or one of those dates is not available, I''d take any date.
 

Iowa Lizzy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2008
Messages
1,667
Oh ladies, there ARE more out there like me!!! Woo hoo!

When I first joined PS, I posted a thread about wanting to wait till 2010 because of the number too. Where were you all back then?!? Haha.

My mother thinks I''m INSANE. I just like that nice rounded number, ya know? How easy would it be to remember how many years you''ve been married? Just minus 10! I''m nuts. You''re nuts. And I love you all the more for it!
 

Sunset_in_Cali

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 15, 2009
Messages
75
I also think the year 2010 sounds the best. I''m hoping for a 2010 wedding myself, but if it turns out to be 2011, then I will be okay with that, although I will be a teeny bit disappointed.
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
I made SO wait two days to ask me out because I wanted our dating anniversary to be on a "good" day... and for us, 2010 is too soon, and I am really against 2011... which is part of the reason we''re planning 2012...

Are any of you synesthetic?
 

merrymunky

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
1,069
I am a BIW but I thought I would chip in with my opinion here.

It's not crazy. I have been with my FI for over 7 years. We were engaged after 2 years. Initially we said we would be married within about 2 years. 2 years turned to 3 and with no plans made I got antsy. 3 years turned to 4 and I have him an ultimatum...either set the date by that Christmas otherwise I was leaving. Christmas came and not date was set. I love him so much that I did not have the courage to walk away! So I sat it out and waited some more.

We had fights about it. I was more than ready, always was...and did not want to be an older bride. I wanted to be married and have or first child on the way by the time I was around 27 years old. (I was almost 24 when we got engaged). It caused a lot of upset for a long time. I mentioned it FAR too often and he still claimed he was not ready to set a date.

Then miraculously something changed about 6 weeks ago and he suddenly declared it was time to set the date. The very next day we had the ceremony booked and it has been all go since then. We get married on August 26th this year. I will be 29.

I thought I was going crazy for that 5 year engagement but once it FINALLY happened, I could not be happier. I am glad I will be under 30 when I get married. He will be 32, almost 33. In a way I think we both feel ready now. We're on the same oage and we both are looking forward to becoming man and wife.

Hang in there girl. It will be worth it. I just hope your engagement will be a hell of a lot shorter than mine!


So yeah, my crazy was not the actul year as such, it was due to how old I was!
 

LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,365
I think merrymunkey is right, in that is your own personal timeline that needs to be considered, not the date as in the numbers on the page.

Remember (and I strive NOT to be superstitious, btw) numbers - well, how they look, sound) are essentially arbitrary, particularly when it comes to dates, the calendar has been messed with heaps of times...numerology just has to be one of the stupidest superstitions in the book, in my view.

Your own timeline for your life... well, again, it is probably more flexible than you think. Not that I think you shouldn''t be able to ''steer your own course'' in relation to big picture elements such as marriage and kids.

However, as marriage and children is of necessity a two-person dance, you do have to incorporate the needs of the other party into your plans.

Luckily, life can be more flexible than you think. If you are concerned about being an ''old'' bride, please be reassured that you will not drop off the edge of the planet at age 30, nor will you wake up one morning an ugly old crone. Life happens incredibly gradually!


By all means, be smart. Use your timeline as a kind of inbuilt BS detector, because rest-assured, no-one else will care half so much about your goals or ideals as you do. Therefore, you must guard them well!!!!!

If your partner is not nurturing your hopes and dreams seriously, is not working towards helping you achieve their fruition, in a SOLID way, you must be prepared to take steps to change things!

You must also look very carefully at yourself. If there is obstruction, why? Is it because you have actually chosen a partner that is not suitable, or does not wish to be suitable? Are you hiding behind ''your values'' when in actual fact it would not serve you well to marry this particular person, even though you are enjoying your current situation?

An old proverb: ''Pray to God but keep rowing toward the shore''.

If, on the other hand, your anxiety is solely due to an attachment to the ''pretty number'', with no regard for ''big picture elements'' well you are very silly, and deserve to have this issue to wrestle with! haha!

 

hawaiianorangetree

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 17, 2009
Messages
2,692
No you''re not crazy! I alway said i wanted to be married before i was 30, i used say to my now FI, getting married at 29 and 36 sounds soooo much younger than 30 and 37! But, it''s not going to happen as i am a January baby and not getting married till march... But i do like my date. 13/03/2010 or 03/13/2010 for those in the US. FI''s parents got married on the 13th and 13 was his dad''s lucky number,
and now that i am 29 i know i wont feel too much older when 30 comes round.
 

Iowa Lizzy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 2, 2008
Messages
1,667
Date: 4/19/2009 10:41:16 AM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
No you''re not crazy! I alway said i wanted to be married before i was 30, i used say to my now FI, getting married at 29 and 36 sounds soooo much younger than 30 and 37! But, it''s not going to happen as i am a January baby and not getting married till march... But i do like my date. 13/03/2010 or 03/13/2010 for those in the US. FI''s parents got married on the 13th and 13 was his dad''s lucky number,

and now that i am 29 i know i wont feel too much older when 30 comes round.
I just want to chime in that I too love your date! Because it''s by birthday!!! Teehee.
 

gryffindor

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
156
I always thought I''d be married while still in my 20s, but FI''s family doesn''t want to cram a wedding in before the end of 2009 while I''m still 29. So I''ll take sooner rather than later and we''re looking at April 2010 and I''ll be 30 and he''ll be 29. I feel like I should have been married years ago so I''m ready to take the plunge and move forward regardless of what the numbers of the date are arranged to look like. However, I am glad it our wedding anniversary will be in the spring. FI already pulls the "Here is your b-day/Christmas gift" move since the two dates are only a week apart. If we had a late 2009 wedding, I know he''d make it an "anniversary/b-day/Christmas gift." This way with a 4/2010 wedding date, he will be forced to be thoughtful twice a year instead of being lazy and making an attempt just once a year.
 
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