Could you still be happy?

[JewelFreak]

Nobody WANTS to do with less. The old saying: "I've been rich & I've been poor. Rich is better."

My sister was really poor for years, as in, not knowing where the next meal was coming from. It was tough on her & family, to say the least. But they still had lots of good times & she brought up 2 very terrific kids; they are an extremely close family even now that things are okay.

I've never been that poor, but had times when I could pay essential bills & n.o.t.h.i.n.g. extra. It wasn't fun & for a long time I aspired to lotsa moolah; never got that, but we were comfortable. Then the quake of '89 hit when we lived in San Francisco. The house was shook up, some of my nicest things broken, but we were all ok. A clean wind blew through my head -- I realized how valueless stuff is. It won't pat you on the head when you're sad or rock on the porch w/you when you're old & rickety. I've never felt the same about Things since.

Having traveled through a lot of the world in my job, mostly with natives as natives travel & live, I also realize how incredibly spoiled we are. It's more than a cliche. Reliable hot water & plumbing, reliable water at all. Toilet paper. Ability to go out without fear of being blown up. Until you experience it, you have no idea how so much of the world exists.

--- Laurie

 

[Dancing Fire]

On this forum of mostly educated, well-to-do, seemingly happy people, I pose this question.

If you woke up tomorrow living paycheck to paycheck could you still be happy? Knowing you'd have to give up a fancy car, excessive jewels, manis/pedis, salon services, big homes, expensive hobbies, could you do it? Basically, how much does stuff really mean to you?



As I always hate it when a OP doesn't answer the question he/she originated, I'll go first.

This is my current life. lol We've always lived paycheck to paycheck, live in a modest home, drive older vehicles, etc. While I would love to have lots of money for various things, it's not something I strive for. Perhaps it's a by-product of this lifestyle, but sometimes I think if I had a lot of stuff it would increase my stress. Living simply agrees with me.

not that i have any money.. but i'd rather be stressed with money then be stressed w/o money.

 

[tigian]

I could definitely be happy with less, but I would without a doubt prefer not to live paycheck to paycheck. Like a previous poster said, it is a luxury to have savings or an emergency fund.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

My definition of "paycheck to paycheck" is barely being able to pay all of your bills, not being able to pay your bills and still have $$ to eat in restaurants and buy jewelry for birthdays/anniversaries. I suspect that if you asked 10 people on PS what their definition of "paycheck to paycheck" was, you'd get 12 different answers, so we may all be coming from different perspectives on this question.

Good point. We still have money to eat out - although my version of eating out is Taco Time! We have enough to put gas in our cars and food on the table. I consider it an extreme luxury to run the airconditioning. It shoots our power bill in the summer from around $20 to over $100. We don't have the cushion in our checking account like I want but we're not scrounging for money. If all else fails we're renting and could easily save $400 to $500 a month if not more by going into a one bedroom loft for a couple years. By the end of this year we'll have two large medical bills paid off - YIPPEE - and finally have the checking cushion *crosses fingers*

 

[somethingshiny]

My paycheck to paycheck is paying the bills most months. Having $7 pizza once a week and an occasional movie rental. I haven't had a mani/pedi in over a year. I've recently had my hair done and had to make some serious effort to get the funds.

df~ The WANT for more, the NEED for more, that's what I think would be stressful.

 

[sparklyheart]

Been there, done that.. I was doing well until I went back to grad school and dropped down to part time at work. The first paycheck was a huge shock even though I knew what it was going to be!! Having less money actually made me realize how little I truly needed things like mani/pedis, multiple nights out a week, designer clothes/purses.. It's something I've carried through now that I have a good paying job and am not living paycheck to paycheck.. Now that I'm not living paycheck to paycheck I feel like I appreciate my savings so much more.. I wasn't able to save a penny in grad school and I even had student loans helping out a little bit when things got really tight. I learned to really look for good deals, cut back on going out, order the cheaper meals/drinks, go out more for happy hour as opposed to normal dinner/drinks, do my own yardwork.. and I stopped my random target trips that could be $100+ which probably kept me out of cc debt!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am a fear based person. Money problems trigger lots of fear. Could I still be happy? It depends. Honestly. If I lived in a clean, comfortable place in a nice neighborhood, had a reliable car (doesn't have to be new), and had food to fill my family's bellies, I could be happy. If I lived in a sketchy neighborhood, didn't have reliable transportation, and struggled to afford food or healthcare, no I would not be happy. I agree that happiness is an inside job and sincerely believe that people have the power to change their own lives and perceptions. I also believe happiness is not created from material goods but I do not underestimate the *struggle* and *oppression* that poverty creates. Living on a $1,000 paycheck is vastly different than living on a $10,000 paycheck.

 

[stephbolt]

I could certainly be happy doing without a lot of the luxuries that DH and I get to indulge in now. But if we were truly hurting for money and living paycheck to paycheck without any kind of savings cushion, I would worry a lot about the what-ifs. That would definitely impact how happy I was overall. Maybe it would be different if I had lived my entire life without experiencing financial security, but since I have, to have it suddenly change would be hard.

 

[AGBF]

Nobody WANTS to do with less. The old saying: "I've been rich & I've been poor. Rich is better."

My sister was really poor for years, as in, not knowing where the next meal was coming from. It was tough on her & family, to say the least. But they still had lots of good times & she brought up 2 very terrific kids; they are an extremely close family even now that things are okay.

I've never been that poor, but had times when I could pay essential bills & n.o.t.h.i.n.g. extra. It wasn't fun & for a long time I aspired to lotsa moolah; never got that, but we were comfortable. Then the quake of '89 hit when we lived in San Francisco. The house was shook up, some of my nicest things broken, but we were all ok. A clean wind blew through my head -- I realized how valueless stuff is. It won't pat you on the head when you're sad or rock on the porch w/you when you're old & rickety. I've never felt the same about Things since.

Having traveled through a lot of the world in my job, mostly with natives as natives travel & live, I also realize how incredibly spoiled we are. It's more than a cliche. Reliable hot water & plumbing, reliable water at all. Toilet paper. Ability to go out without fear of being blown up. Until you experience it, you have no idea how so much of the world exists.

Thank you for your thoughtful posting, Laurie. I really enjoyed reading it and all the points upon which you reflected.

Deb

 

[y2kitty]

I know someone who is an heir to a fortune from a company you have all heard of and has horrible health. Trust me, if you have your health you have a huge gift. So could I be happy living paycheck to paycheck? Yes, if I was healthy.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I'm content living a modest life but I don't think I could be happy if I was constantly struggling to pay basic bills or lived below poverty level. I am in a perpetual state of worry if there is no monetary cushion in place. It's not so much about STUFF, but about access to food, shelter, and health care. We lived paycheck to paycheck for some of my youth, and one time an unexpected crisis crept up and just demolished us for a good three years... I will never, ever forget the stress that caused on my parents' marriage and how it rubbed off on us as children.

 

[Haven]

On this forum of mostly educated, well-to-do, seemingly happy people, I pose this question.

If you woke up tomorrow living paycheck to paycheck could you still be happy? Knowing you'd have to give up a fancy car, excessive jewels, manis/pedis, salon services, big homes, expensive hobbies, could you do it? Basically, how much does stuff really mean to you?

As I always hate it when a OP doesn't answer the question he/she originated, I'll go first.

This is my current life. lol We've always lived paycheck to paycheck, live in a modest home, drive older vehicles, etc. While I would love to have lots of money for various things, it's not something I strive for. Perhaps it's a by-product of this lifestyle, but sometimes I think if I had a lot of stuff it would increase my stress. Living simply agrees with me.

I'm going to break your question down and answer different parts of it because you seem to correlate NOT living paycheck to paycheck with also indulging in luxuries, which I don't do even though I don't live paycheck to paycheck.

SO:

Yes, I would still be happy if I woke up tomorrow and did not have a fancy car, excessive jewels, manis/pedis, salon services, big homes, and expensive hobbies because I don't have or indulge in many of those things right now. I do have a beautiful diamond ring and a diamond wedding band, and the diamond ring that my grandmother left me, but that's it for fine jewelry for me. My only expensive hobby is travel, which I do love, but could be happy without. I definitely don't drive a fancy car (a paid-off Honda Civic). I never go to the salon for manis, pedis, or even haircuts--I take care of all of those things at home. And my home is small at 1200 sq. ft. Other than travel (which can be done with very little money--read Vagabonding by Rolf Potts if you don't believe me ) my favorite hobbies are spending time with DH, writing, reading, and watching movies--all of which are FREEEEEEE!

NOW, that's not to say that I'd be happy living paycheck to paycheck, because I think that sort of lifestyle would really stress me out, and stress makes me unhappy so I'd probably be unhappy living that way. I don't indulge in a lot of small luxuries BECAUSE I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck, or even close to it. I lived paycheck to paycheck all through college and for a couple years after and i was very stressful for me and while I can't say I was unhappy, because I wasn't, I just wasn't as happy as I could have been.

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes. I grew up with way more than I ever needed, or wanted. What was lacking was love. When I got married, we really had very little and I loved that..

We loved buying little treasures for the house as years went by... We did live pay check to pay check.. I was working as well.

We have great blessings, but don't really care about cars, diamonds, houses.

They say if you have your health that is everything. If I could make one wish, I would give it to someone that needs it more than me.

 

[chemgirl]

I know I previously said I would be happy, but I think I might have to retract that answer.

I was looking around the house tonight and realized how much my life has changed in the last few years.

When I was a student, I was living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't have livingroom furniture or a car. I took the bus when I could afford a bus pass or walked. I bought processed frozen meat whenever it was on sale and fresh food was a rare luxury. I even cut my own hair! This will be my first summer with air conditioning and I'm so excited for this luxury that seems to get taken for granted. No more sleeping on the basement floor so I don't throw up from the heat!

Not trying to throw myself a pity party and I'm sure my "hardship" is nothing compared to what others have had to go through. Just saying that I'm clearly not living a frugal lifestyle anymore. I can actually go to the meat counter and get real meat! I am very fortunate.

I was happy then, but I think now I'd be really bitter if I had to go back to that.

 

[Sam121]

No. I never really lived paycheck to paycheck before, but I did watch every single penny I spent for a number of years because I was saving up to build on my future career goals, and it was mentally and emotionally exhausting to think about money all the time. As DF said, I would rather be stressed with money than be stressed without money!

 

[Haven]

I didn't address the stuff issue in my last post. I actually prefer to live with less stuff, and having too much stuff around makes me very uncomfortable. DH and I spend our discretionary income on experiences more than stuff.

 

[kama_s]

I know I previously said I would be happy, but I think I might have to retract that answer.

I was looking around the house tonight and realized how much my life has changed in the last few years.

When I was a student, I was living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't have livingroom furniture or a car. I took the bus when I could afford a bus pass or walked. I bought processed frozen meat whenever it was on sale and fresh food was a rare luxury. I even cut my own hair! This will be my first summer with air conditioning and I'm so excited for this luxury that seems to get taken for granted. No more sleeping on the basement floor so I don't throw up from the heat!

Not trying to throw myself a pity party and I'm sure my "hardship" is nothing compared to what others have had to go through. Just saying that I'm clearly not living a frugal lifestyle anymore. I can actually go to the meat counter and get real meat! I am very fortunate.

I was happy then, but I think now I'd be really bitter if I had to go back to that.

Haha, that's exactly how it was for me too! As a kid, I would wear the same two outfits everyday until they were colvered in holes. As birthay gifts, I would get a $5 toy. If I was lucky, I would get a one month library membership (libraries weren't free in Dubai, and as a kid, nothing gave me more happiness than reading).

Then I went to university. Worked 8am to 10pm every. single. summer. Worked 20-30 hours every week during the school year. And could only afford plain pasta (without sauce/meat etc), a simple fan in the hot hot summers, walked or biked everywhere because I couldn't afford public transit, never ate out or hung out with friends because I didn't have money for movies or beer etc.

Oddly enough, it never felt dificult when I was going through it. But if I had to go back to doing that, I would be absolutely miserable. I will be okay if I couldn't afford the new Prada purse I am lusting, but I will be unhappy if I had to think twice if I could afford eating something particular or buying a bottle of wine to drink on an ordinary tuesday evening. So it's not about the luxuries, but about comfort for me.

 

[somethingshiny]

Haven ~ The correlation was unintentional. I was trying to jog minds as to what they may not even be thinking in response to the initial question. I assume most people on PS indulge in luxuries, luxuries they may not readily recognize. Thanks for addressing it.

It seems that living without wouldn't be so bad. Living with worry would be more difficult. I'm not a worrier and I think that has a lot to do with my level of happiness.

 

[Haven]

Haven ~ The correlation was unintentional. I was trying to jog minds as to what they may not even be thinking in response to the initial question. I assume most people on PS indulge in luxuries, luxuries they may not readily recognize. Thanks for addressing it.

It seems that living without wouldn't be so bad. Living with worry would be more difficult. I'm not a worrier and I think that has a lot to do with my level of happiness.

THIS is what I was trying to say! Thank you--yes, I agree. It is much easier for me to live without, but it is very difficult for me to live with worry. I can live without the luxuries and be very happy, but worry can really eat away at my happiness. Thank you for putting it so well, and with such concision!

And I like your point about luxuries that we may not readily recognize. I don't indulge in the regular luxuries, but I do indulge in others--regular visits to the movie theatre at $10 a ticket, dining out whenever we please, those sorts of things.

 

[ksinger]

On this forum of mostly educated, well-to-do, seemingly happy people, I pose this question.

If you woke up tomorrow living paycheck to paycheck could you still be happy? Knowing you'd have to give up a fancy car, excessive jewels, manis/pedis, salon services, big homes, expensive hobbies, could you do it? Basically, how much does stuff really mean to you?



As I always hate it when a OP doesn't answer the question he/she originated, I'll go first.

This is my current life. lol We've always lived paycheck to paycheck, live in a modest home, drive older vehicles, etc. While I would love to have lots of money for various things, it's not something I strive for. Perhaps it's a by-product of this lifestyle, but sometimes I think if I had a lot of stuff it would increase my stress. Living simply agrees with me.

not that i have any money.. but i'd rather be stressed with money then be stressed w/o money.

Oh please. DF, kwitcherbitchin, we all know darn good and well you aren't hurting OR living paycheck to paycheck.

 

[Dancing Fire]

On this forum of mostly educated, well-to-do, seemingly happy people, I pose this question.

If you woke up tomorrow living paycheck to paycheck could you still be happy? Knowing you'd have to give up a fancy car, excessive jewels, manis/pedis, salon services, big homes, expensive hobbies, could you do it? Basically, how much does stuff really mean to you?



As I always hate it when a OP doesn't answer the question he/she originated, I'll go first.

This is my current life. lol We've always lived paycheck to paycheck, live in a modest home, drive older vehicles, etc. While I would love to have lots of money for various things, it's not something I strive for. Perhaps it's a by-product of this lifestyle, but sometimes I think if I had a lot of stuff it would increase my stress. Living simply agrees with me.

not that i have any money.. but i'd rather be stressed with money then be stressed w/o money.

Oh please. DF, kwitcherbitchin, we all know darn good and well you aren't hurting OR living paycheck to paycheck.

i was,but not anymore thanks to President Obama for redistribution of wealth.i love socialism

 

[GingerP]

I have a decent-sized immediate family, and we grew up pretty low income. My parents never discuss money, so I don't know if we ever got to the point of living paycheck to paycheck, but I'm fairly certain we were at least close many times. I never consciously realized how little we had until my parents were unemployed shortly during my teenage years (but I always did know). The reason: my parents never really made us feel poor. Sure we bought everything on sale, didn't travel, and barely turned on the heat/AC, but we always had a well-balanced, delicious, and plentiful dinner to eat together every night. They taught us the value of the dollar, how to save because it was sensible, and encouraged us not to waste. They bought us new shoes when our old ones wore out and allowed us fast food (on sale) about three times a month so we could have some experiences of a "normal" childhood, but generally we learned all this as a lifestyle. I started working in high school, and other than the roof over my head, food on the table, and my first used car and car insurance at age 20 (?), I never asked my parents for money again. When I started college up until I married my husband I pretty much lived paycheck to paycheck.

Despite all of that, I don't think I would be happy doing it again, but not because of what it can't buy me. It's more because I value security and having savings in case of "what if." We also have two sets of aging parents with minimal savings to consider. Additionally, I have pessimistic tendencies, so having yet another (and big) worry would disallow happiness to be a regular fixture in my life. Plus, right now I'm not fully happy even though I'm pretty lucky and have plenty, so I doubt having less money will necessarily help that situation. I just know that my happiness derives elsewhere (even if I haven't discovered exactly where that is yet).

I think most people could subsist on much less than they think and live well. People did it for years and have proven their resilience; it's just very hard to imagine in our modern-day society (especially given the increase in technology and access to informaton). When people know that there is greener grass, they want to graze on the other side. Sometimes it is better thinking yellow hay is all you got.

 

[missy]

I know someone who is an heir to a fortune from a company you have all heard of and has horrible health. Trust me, if you have your health you have a huge gift. So could I be happy living paycheck to paycheck? Yes, if I was healthy.

I feel the same way. As long as my loved ones and I were healthy we could be happy. No matter what. It would take an adjustment if we were living paycheck to paycheck but I know we could do it. We would adjust to the new "normal" if something were to happen and our happiness would follow as soon as we were used to the new "normal".

 

[ksinger]

On this forum of mostly educated, well-to-do, seemingly happy people, I pose this question.

If you woke up tomorrow living paycheck to paycheck could you still be happy? Knowing you'd have to give up a fancy car, excessive jewels, manis/pedis, salon services, big homes, expensive hobbies, could you do it? Basically, how much does stuff really mean to you?



As I always hate it when a OP doesn't answer the question he/she originated, I'll go first.

This is my current life. lol We've always lived paycheck to paycheck, live in a modest home, drive older vehicles, etc. While I would love to have lots of money for various things, it's not something I strive for. Perhaps it's a by-product of this lifestyle, but sometimes I think if I had a lot of stuff it would increase my stress. Living simply agrees with me.

not that i have any money.. but i'd rather be stressed with money then be stressed w/o money.

Oh please. DF, kwitcherbitchin, we all know darn good and well you aren't hurting OR living paycheck to paycheck.

i was,but not anymore thanks to President Obama for redistribution of wealth.i love socialism

Well that's good then, although to call it "socialism" shows how short on history you really are, or even on the definition of socialism. The "redistribution of wealth" you talk about, has been a primary function of government - ANY government, regardless of how it has been arranged - since the building of the pyramids.

 

[ksinger]

I would likely not be as "happy", although that is probably less a happy thing than just a comment on my stress level. STUFF is not important anymore. After the death of my mother (I'm an only child) I'm not exactly lacking for STUFF. But the constant awareness of how close the wolf is, to the door, would impact my sense of "all is well with the world". A pointless state to be in I know, but I've always been a bit of a worrier, and being short on a relatively large pad of cash AND decent cash flow, would bother me. And I have some fairly pricey hobbies....like jewelry making.

 

[kelpie]

If our paycheck stopped it would hurt. We definitely had to scale back when I quit my job in December and our income was cut in half but our lifestyle changed and we're doing fine. I remind myself all the time that stuff is not what makes me happy. It's so easy to get caught up in stuff, goals, and living for the future. I'm certainly guilty of it so I have to reign myself in. It's funny when I have a lot of money, I'm so stressed about where it's going. I can remember not haven't to worry about it because I didn't have any and it felt great! I must confess that I would be unhappy living in a really small dump of a home like a trailer park because I've done that and my environment effects my mood greatly.

 

[rhbgirl24]

We still live paycheck to paycheck. I'm not talking completely drain our bank account in between, we put money in savings each month, but there isn't a HUGE amount leftover after monthly bills - enough to be comfortable and have some luxuries. We don't make huge salaries. We have the stuff we need, and some of the stuff we want. We live in a modest new 3 bedroom townhome that I am very proud of. I dont believe in living beyond your means and I don't believe it acquiring stuff just to have it.... Would I like a little extra play money, sure! But do I need it? Nope.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am with Jewelfreak. We lived through a wildfire in the mountains where we lived in 2003. We were evacuated for a couple
weeks watching the news, one day we thought our house was gone, the next not sure. I had to let go of all the stuff. In the end,
it was very freeing.

I could live without all the extras. I don't like feeling that it is hard to pay the bills and worry about the basics of life, but
I could give up all the non essentials I think.

 

[chemgirl]

I know I previously said I would be happy, but I think I might have to retract that answer.

I was looking around the house tonight and realized how much my life has changed in the last few years.

When I was a student, I was living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't have livingroom furniture or a car. I took the bus when I could afford a bus pass or walked. I bought processed frozen meat whenever it was on sale and fresh food was a rare luxury. I even cut my own hair! This will be my first summer with air conditioning and I'm so excited for this luxury that seems to get taken for granted. No more sleeping on the basement floor so I don't throw up from the heat!

Not trying to throw myself a pity party and I'm sure my "hardship" is nothing compared to what others have had to go through. Just saying that I'm clearly not living a frugal lifestyle anymore. I can actually go to the meat counter and get real meat! I am very fortunate.

I was happy then, but I think now I'd be really bitter if I had to go back to that.

Haha, that's exactly how it was for me too! As a kid, I would wear the same two outfits everyday until they were colvered in holes. As birthay gifts, I would get a $5 toy. If I was lucky, I would get a one month library membership (libraries weren't free in Dubai, and as a kid, nothing gave me more happiness than reading).

Then I went to university. Worked 8am to 10pm every. single. summer. Worked 20-30 hours every week during the school year. And could only afford plain pasta (without sauce/meat etc), a simple fan in the hot hot summers, walked or biked everywhere because I couldn't afford public transit, never ate out or hung out with friends because I didn't have money for movies or beer etc.

Oddly enough, it never felt dificult when I was going through it. But if I had to go back to doing that, I would be absolutely miserable. I will be okay if I couldn't afford the new Prada purse I am lusting, but I will be unhappy if I had to think twice if I could afford eating something particular or buying a bottle of wine to drink on an ordinary tuesday evening. So it's not about the luxuries, but about comfort for me.

Exactly!

I had a woah moment when I was choosing a wine to go with dinner. It seems like such a small thing, but I couldn't do it before my current job. I made fresh shrimp pasta with real cheese, a salad, and served wine. Five years ago it would have been no-name macaroni and cheese with a glass of water. I just feel so much healthier now. I can afford to go to the gym and play volleyball. Those are the things I care about and it would be really hard to do without them.

Being able to buy razor blades, soap, conditioner and cleaning supplies without thinking twice about it, being able to afford to keep pets, not renting out parts of my living space to pay the bills, these are things I really appreciate. I would have a hard time losing that.

 

[somethingshiny]

I appreciate all the honest and open responses.

When you look back, you can see how bad it was even though it may not have felt so bad at the time. While I was growing up I didn't know we were poor. I knew our water got shut off, or our electricity, and we rarely had a phone, but I didn't FEEL poor at the time. When DH and I were first married, living on bologna and ramen noodles, I was so happy to be married and on our own that it didn't really matter. Human nature is to be happy.