Wedding Contributing $$ towards BM dresses... Have/Will/Did you?

[NovemberBride]

Meresal,

I think that the dress you have chosen is gorgeous.

I am also shocked to see so many say they are paying for their bridesmaids attire (although it''s a very nice gesture). I have been in too many weddings to count, and I have never had my dress paid for nor have I heard of any bride doing so. If it matters, the weddings were all either in the NYC or DC areas. I now live in Philly and have never heard of a bride paying for the dresses either. I think that it may be a cultural thing, as I have also never heard my friends complain about having to buy a dress (ok, I have never heard them complain about the price, style is another matter...).

My bridesmaids dresses were about $300 as well, which is within the average within my group. None of us got married before our late 20''s and we all have pretty good jobs. I would say that between gifts for an engagement party, shower and wedding, throwing a shower and bachelorette party and wedding day attire, within my group of friends it is expected that it will cost anywhere from $2000-$3000 to be a bridesmaid. None of us mind because we are a close knit group who are all a part of each others weddings. Sometimes the bride pays for hair and make-up and sometimes she just offers it at the bridesmaid''s own cost. We tend to give pretty good bridesmaids gifts as well. For instance, I gave my bridesmaids coach bags (not all the same, chosen in a style and color I thought would suit each), a hand painted wine glass, a bottle of nice wine, a pashmina, earrings and a brooch to wear the day of the wedding and a couple of other things I can''t remember right now! My mom also gave each of the bridesmaids a bracelet (not to wear at the wedding), chocolates and stationary at the bridesmaid''s luncheon. I recognize that not everyone could or would want to spend this much on being a bridesmaid, but I think sometimes people get flamed on these boards for asking their bridesmaids to pay a substantial sum of money and I just wanted to point out that in some instances this is in keeping with cultural norms and is not considered to be an imposition.

 

[Elmorton]

Did not pay for bm dresses - mine were about $185 due to a custom fabric pairing (I was shooting for $150 or less). Instead, I bought shoes (heels and flip flops) and accessories for the gals - paid for shipping for two of the dresses and paid for alterations for the other two (they were local and went to the shop with me when I was doing my own alterations). I also paid for their hotel room the night before the wedding. I think those were the only "unexpected" costs I covered. While of course I would have loved to do more, it wasn''t feasible in my budget, and my friends seemed to appreciate the gestures that I could make.

Most of my bms had been in weddings before, and none of these expenses are typically covered by the bride, so I know they were expecting to pay for these things themselves. I think that any help that you can give is greatly appreciated (beautiful dresses, btw!) but certainly not expected.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

First of all, gorgeous dress! I love it!

I told my BM that she could wear whatever she wanted, but whatever she decided I was paying for. She ended up wearing a dress she already owned and I spent the few hundred bucks on a purse for her as a gift. I adore my friend and it was an honor to have her by my side, so I didn't want for her to have to pay for anything. I was happy to pay for hair, makeup, accomodations, manicure, pedicure, etc. I wanted to pay for her plane ticket, but she wouldn't allow it. My husband paid for his groomsmens' tuxes as well and bought them the ties he chose for the wedding as a gift.

ETA: I only had a Maid of Honor, no other bridesmaids, which made it very easy to pay for everything. If I'd had nine I would have had to come up with another plan I think giving them $50 towards their dresses is generous, Meresal!

 

[meresal]

As far a telling my BM's to wear this dress, I would never even think of such a horrible thing. I made sure that all of my BM's knew the price of the previous dress which was actually around $330, asked opinions, and no one had a problem with it. This one is about $30 less, so I assume there is still no issue. These are my best friends in the world, and I would pressure it out of them, if I thought they were holding something back. Though I do understand where all of your inquisition would come from. I have had a very hard time finding a long dress, in the correct sheen, for less than $200.

I'm still amazed at the amount of girls that cover everything. It is truely something I have never heard of. In my group, it's definitely not expected, so I think any type of help will be appreciated. Maybe I could cover the alterations, instead of $50 towards the dress. I dunno, definitely something I'll be thinking about.

wannaBMrsH: We actually decided against a DW, because we wouldn't save any money after we flew everyone to the island; and we definitely didn't feel comfortable asking our friends to pay that kind of cash. I think it's great that you are able to provide everything for the wedding party!! I'm headed home to Dallas on Wednesday... how many layers should I pack??

Thanks for all your help and the compliments!! If anyone is interested, the dress is from the Jenny Yoo collection. They have great fabrics.

ETA: NEL, thanks for the help. BM's add up quickly when there's 3 sisters and a FSIL!! FMIL is paying for all 8 of the groomsmen's tuxs, thier hotels, and transportation to and from the hotel for RD, wedding, and reception.

 

[MsSassy]

i will be covering the cost of everything for my bridesmaids (7) and the groomsmen. I'm having a seamstress make their dresses out of the same material but in a style that they choose. I'm also paying for their hair and makeup etc. My theory is that if im going to ask them to be a special guest at my wedding than i'm not going to ask them to have to take on the financial burden of doing it. i've also been in 3 weddings and i've never had to pay for anything.

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/23/2008 12:24:19 AM
Author: MsSassy
i will be covering the cost of everything for my bridesmaids (7) and the groomsmen. I'm having a seamstress make their dresses out of the same material but in a style that they choose. I'm also paying for their hair and makeup etc. My theory is that if im going to ask them to be a special guest at my wedding than i'm not going to ask them to have to take on the financial burden of doing it. i've also been in 3 weddings and i've never had to pay for anything.

If you dont mind me asking... how much do you think you will spend per BM, including everything? Are you planning on giving a gift/gifts as well? What is it in proportion to your budget? I'm starting to wonder if I just have an extremely low budget compared to others, but it seems very doubtful.

If this is too personal, I completely understand. This is just something that I have never seen discussed on PS, and it really cant be google'd.

 

[MsSassy]

Date: 12/23/2008 12:38:07 AM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/23/2008 12:24:19 AM
Author: MsSassy
i will be covering the cost of everything for my bridesmaids (7) and the groomsmen. I''m having a seamstress make their dresses out of the same material but in a style that they choose. I''m also paying for their hair and makeup etc. My theory is that if im going to ask them to be a special guest at my wedding than i''m not going to ask them to have to take on the financial burden of doing it. i''ve also been in 3 weddings and i''ve never had to pay for anything.

If you dont mind me asking... how much do you think you will spend per BM, including everything? Are you planning on giving a gift/gifts as well? What is it in proportion to your budget? I''m starting to wonder if I just have an extremely low budget compared to others, but it seems very doubtful.

If this is too personal, I completely understand. This is just something that I have never seen discussed on PS, and it really cant be google''d.

silly girl, of course i''ll share! hehehe. lets see, the dresses including the fabric will run about 150 per girl, I have two makeup artist coming in that morinng that charges 100 bucks per girl for hair and makeup (its more expensive because i''m having them come to us). I also plan on giving all the girls a gift. i''m trying to find velor suits (or something like that) and having their names stiched on them that they could wear that morning (and pretty much whenever they wanted). we''ll also be taking care of the reheral dinner etc. I expect to be spending aroun 400 bucks per girl.

total cost of my wedding will hopefully be around the 50k range give or take 5k. its pretty reasonable where i am (northern california). This is a trend that is common in my circle of friends. I''ve noticed that caucasian people usually have the BM pay for eveything themselves but i just dont see things that way (im asian by the way). i think its alot more common in asian cultures for the bride and groom to pay for everything. its just the way i was brought up.

 

[jstarfireb]

My bridesmaid dresses are about $150-170 each, and I''m not covering the costs. However, I''m getting them some nice gifts and providing them a place to stay during the weekend of the wedding (my parents'' house). In the one wedding where I''ve been a bridesmaid so far, the bride did not pay for our dresses, which were $250-300 each. It was a little much, but she got us very nice gifts (worth quite a bit more than what I''m getting my girls), and she paid for our hotel rooms and flights. So from my own experience, I haven''t seen anyone help with paying for the dresses, but usually the amount of money put into the gifts has been in proportion to the cost of the dresses.

 

[musey]

I think the reason you see an unexpectedly high number women on here paying for their BM dresses is that PSers seem to be quite a generous bunch overall

I posted about a gift for our officiant (who happens to be my MOH/cousin's husband, and the father of our flower girls), that we had paid for his licensing fees to become ordained ($120 and something he was thinking about doing before our wedding came along) and were paying for their family's travel/lodging (~$2000). I mostly expected people to say that we were already doing enough, but everyone replying suggested a gift costing >$100. I was really surprised! I think that either PSers are quite generous people overall, OR it's a lot easier to suggest generosity when you're not the one footing the bill

In my bridesmaid dresses case, it just felt like "the right thing to do." It was, after all, part of my wedding--not something she just wanted to pick up on her own. She was putting the effort in to be a part of my wedding (a favor to me), taking care of me the day of (another favor to me), providing me sanity checks pre-wedding (another favor to me--you get the picture)... I felt like the least I could do was cover the cost of the dress. But again, I only had one. You have nine! It adds up fast.

None of your BMs will be expecting you to pay for the dress. It sounds like that is the norm in your social circle (I think it is for most people in the US--those of us who pay as the bride are in the minority, not the majority) so of course none of them will think anything of it. If it were me in my position, I'd most appreciate help paying for the dress--but your friends' situations are undoubtedly different from mine, and only you would know what they'd love the most!

 

[CNOS128]

If I actually ever find dresses.... (btw, Meresal, where are yours from/who is the designer? they are lovely!) we will pay for their dresses, but there are only 2 of them. Hopefully they will be around or less than $250 each. We will also pay for the flower girl''s dress.

I''m not sure about shoes, although I feel like if I tell them what shoes to wear, I should pay for those as well, but maybe that''s overkill. People will wear shoes again, right? Maybe?

And I''m going to get them gifts - something they will hopefully keep, like silver necklaces.


But remember, there are only 2 of them!!

 

[musey]

Date: 12/23/2008 1:41:09 AM
Author: TheBigT
I''m not sure about shoes, although I feel like if I tell them what shoes to wear, I should pay for those as well, but maybe that''s overkill. People will wear shoes again, right? Maybe?

I wouldn''t even bother honestly, unless your BM dresses are not floor length. They likely won''t even be seen at all. I actually have no clue what kind of shoes my MOH wore!!

I sort of felt like I should pay for anything I''m choosing, so if I had chosen shoes/accessories for her I would''ve paid. But that''s me. I think that''s easy for me to say, though, because I never intended to tell her what to wear at all (I just told her the color scheme and said she could pick something that she thought would fit with it). If I''d had clearer ideas (and more BMs!!) I would sympathize with the paying dilemma better!!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 12/23/2008 1:29:20 AM
Author: musey
I think the reason you see an unexpectedly high number women on here paying for their BM dresses is that PSers seem to be quite a generous bunch overall

I posted about a gift for our officiant (who happens to be my MOH/cousin's husband, and the father of our flower girls), that we had paid for his licensing fees to become ordained ($120 and something he was thinking about doing before our wedding came along) and were paying for their family's travel/lodging (~$2000). I mostly expected people to say that we were already doing enough, but everyone replying suggested a gift costing >$100. I was really surprised! I think that either PSers are quite generous people overall, OR it's a lot easier to suggest generosity when you're not the one footing the bill

In my bridesmaid dresses case, it just felt like 'the right thing to do.' It was, after all, part of my wedding--not something she just wanted to pick up on her own. She was putting the effort in to be a part of my wedding (a favor to me), taking care of me the day of (another favor to me), providing me sanity checks pre-wedding (another favor to me--you get the picture)... I felt like the least I could do was cover the cost of the dress. But again, I only had one. You have nine! It adds up fast.


None of your BMs will be expecting you to pay for the dress. It sounds like that is the norm in your social circle (I think it is for most people in the US--those of us who pay as the bride are in the minority, not the majority) so of course none of them will think anything of it. If it were me in my position, I'd most appreciate help paying for the dress--but your friends' situations are undoubtedly different from mine, and only you would know what they'd love the most!

Ditto, here in OZ it is not the norm to buy the BM's dresses or anything but most brides buy the BM's jewelery to wear on the day however in my culture you pay for the lot.

I will be having 3 attendants (I haven't asked them yet though) and I plan on buying them their dresses (though I think FI's mum will make them), make-up, hair, they can wear whatever shoes they like I don't want them having to be BM's to me to be a financial burden. I was talking to a friend of mine who was a BM for one of our friends and her then FI was a groomsman between the two of them they spent about $1600 to be a part of the wedding (gift, dresses, hotel room, suits, make-up, hens/bucks, hair etc).

Any gesture is sure to be appreciated.

 

[pennquaker09]

We (by we I mean, my parents) paid for practically everything for our ceremony. I had a couple of female friends as "attendants" and the dresses they wore were Badgley Mischka so they were kind of expensive. But like I said, my folks paid for everything from flights to hotel rooms, It was just something we agreed to do because most of the guests were coming from the South.

 

[brgirl]

I''m from Texas, but my wedding was in Maine because that is where I live now. I had 4 BMs (one was my 13YO niece), and I paid for half of their dresses, and gave them several gifts. I had two reasons for paying for half of their dresses: 1) the only dress everyone agreed on was $200 + (a Watters dress ordered from netbride..retail was $350!). I felt that was way too much money, plus my sister had to buy two since her daughter was in the wedding, and 2) They were all flying all the way from Texas and renting a car, footing that bill themselves. They paid for their own hair, shoes, and alterations. I have never been in a wedding where everything was paid for, but I wouldn''t question it or find it shocking if someone offered! Sounds awesome!

I think any $ towards the dress would be appreciated.

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/23/2008 12:49:55 AM
Author: MsSassy

silly girl, of course i'll share! hehehe. lets see, the dresses including the fabric will run about 150 per girl, I have two makeup artist coming in that morinng that charges 100 bucks per girl for hair and makeup (its more expensive because i'm having them come to us). I also plan on giving all the girls a gift. i'm trying to find velor suits (or something like that) and having their names stiched on them that they could wear that morning (and pretty much whenever they wanted). we'll also be taking care of the reheral dinner etc. I expect to be spending aroun 400 bucks per girl.

total cost of my wedding will hopefully be around the 50k range give or take 5k. its pretty reasonable where i am (northern california). This is a trend that is common in my circle of friends. I've noticed that caucasian people usually have the BM pay for eveything themselves but i just dont see things that way (im asian by the way). i think its alot more common in asian cultures for the bride and groom to pay for everything. its just the way i was brought up.

Just wanted to be polite, before shoving my nose in other people's affairs...

Thanks for sharing! My budget is actually just a little over half of yours. I think maybe there is some cultural divide, but for the most part, there seems to be a divide all over. I would love to buy all of my BM's dresses, but here in my area/crowd it's just not the norm.


Musey- Thanks for replying again. I'm definitely going off of their reactions, and of the 2 that have tried it on they love it, and two others can't wait to see it. If they had any reserves about the money, I would find a different dress or offer to pay what they don't feel comfortable spending. Luckily most of the people attending are in the state. The two in my house party, are comnig from Florida and Okla, and I have decided that they can wear whatever dress they choose as long as it's black. They are also both recent grads, and I wouldn't dream of asking them to pay $300 for a dress right now.
Last question, would you want money towards the dress and a gift, or would you rather have all the money towards the dress? Keeping in mind I will be covering all day-of expenses. Hair if they want it, make-up, mani/pedi, and jewelry. I'm going to use a plain(very dainty) silver/diamond encrusted necklace with a pearl drop and matching earings. I'm thinking that this could be their gift, since it is pearls...

TheBigT- I'm glad you like them! They are Jenny Yoo. If you go to their website, it will show you the salons that carry the line. Just a forewarning, there aren't very many. Texas only has 3. Also, a short plug... I found this GREAT boutique called "Bella Bridesmaid". Has anyone heard of them? They also offer discounts based on the amount of BM's you have, whihc I have had a hard time finding, outside of where I purchased my gown.
The shoes: eventhough I'm not paying for dresses, I would feel obligated to buy my BM's shoes if I were making them wear a specific pair.

pennquaker- The first dress I liked was a Badgley M. However, the actual model had some funky things that wiould require complete restructure of the bust, and I didn't even want to think of the alteration fees on top of the $330 price tag. I really love their fabrics though. It was very nice of your parents and you to make sure all of your friends would be able to be there!!

 

[sklingem]

Date: 12/22/2008 4:57:37 PM
Author: Haven
Traditionally, in the United States, the bridesmaids are responsible for paying for their attire if they choose to accept the invitation to participate in the wedding.

If you can''t afford to stand up in a wedding, don''t accept the invitation. Simple.

Haven - traditions don''t have to be reinforced and supported if they seem to put an undue burden on someone. That is your personal choice. More importantly - you may put potential BMs in the situation where they have to choose between being your BM and being financially responsible (in some cases). How fair is that to them??? And think about the message that sends to them: "Either you pony up the money or you can''t be my BM". Awesome. What feelings would that create for BMs who (a) have to refuse or (b) accept due to social pressure/because they are too ashamed to admit that they can''t afford it? I think that it is extremely selfish to put anybody in such a position and not a sign of good friendship. Sorry. Tradition will not cut it for me. Especially when a lot of brides spend an insane amount of $ on the wedding but can''t find the extra 1K for their bridesmaids? BRIDES want their BMs to dress a certain way. That is THEIR choice, just like have specific flowers at the wedding or a specific venue. You want it? You can pay for it. But don''t blame "traditions" for burdening your BMs.

 

[Lynnie]

Love your BM dress!

I am only having a MOH, my best friend since 7th grade. Her brother does videography as a side job (he works fulll time at a college, running their A/V dept), so I was planning on hiring him for the wedding. Well, last week she told me that she''s paying her brother''s fee as part of her wedding present to us. (Not sure of the price, but I''m thinking $300-$500) Totally awesome of her. So I have decided to foot the bill for her dress, which she will choose. I also booked a hairdresser, and a room for the two of us the night before the ceremony. I''ll also get her a gift, probably a necklace or earrings for that day.

 

[CNOS128]

Musey, that''s a great point! my mom suggested getting the shoes dyed to match, which I would never do anyway (I just don''t like the look of it), but I feel like (1) nobody''s going to be looking at their shoes, and (2) finding shoes for them to wear is just going to increase my stress level - not worth it!

Meresal thank you so much for the info! Luckily, I''m in NYC so we can find almost anything here - apparently including the "flagship boutique/corporate headquarters" of Jenny Yoo. I just made an appointment and I am very excited!

I also wanted to say that, by and large, when my friends and I pay for our own bridesmaid dresses to be in a dear friend''s wedding, we don''t view it as a financial burden. This is something we do because these are our close friends - and we hope they''d do the same for us! I definitely wouldn''t expect someone to contribute to the cost at all, so any little bit you''re offering to offset costs should be (and would, in my circle) be welcome - but also totally unnecessary. I think it''s very generous on your part.

And, by the way, I''ve known brides who not only made their BMs pay for their own dresses, but also their own hair and makeup - AND also their hair and makeup TRIALS. That was a little inappropriate, in my opinion (especially making them travel an hour + each way to get to the hair & makeup trial).

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Hi Meresal-

FI and I decided on a DW for a number of reasons. We actually won''t be saving much money compared to a home wedding either. Once we add up our own and the people that we are paying for as well as our own attire, rings, photographer, etc., we are looking at about $22-30k. The main reason was to really limit the number of people that we have to invite just to be polite. For example, my parents friends aren''t going to be invited, most of our co-workers, golf buddies, etc.

We want to focus our budget on the people that really DO matter to us (our parents, our close friends, and family) and the items that we really care about. Plus, we decided to make our wedding a weekend event so that most people will be happy to spend a few days in paradise with us. But, if it was strictly about the money, we probably wouldn''t have chosen that option either. It does get expensive very quickly.

About Dallas, bring several layers! It has been nuts around here. Last Sunday it was in the 70s and then by Tuesday it was snowing, and Thursday we had something called "freezing fog". Saturday was warm, yesterday was freezing and today it''s raining! Layer up and definitely bring a coat! BTW, I don''t know if I told you this already or not, but I LOVE YOUR BM dress! It looks so flattering and the fabric looks very rich.

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/23/2008 9:58:06 AM
Author: rob09

Date: 12/22/2008 4:57:37 PM
Author: Haven
Traditionally, in the United States, the bridesmaids are responsible for paying for their attire if they choose to accept the invitation to participate in the wedding.


If you can't afford to stand up in a wedding, don't accept the invitation. Simple.

Haven - traditions don't have to be reinforced and supported if they seem to put an undue burden on someone. That is your personal choice. More importantly - you may put potential BMs in the situation where they have to choose between being your BM and being financially responsible (in some cases). How fair is that to them??? And think about the message that sends to them: 'Either you pony up the money or you can't be my BM'. Awesome. What feelings would that create for BMs who (a) have to refuse or (b) accept due to social pressure/because they are too ashamed to admit that they can't afford it? I think that it is extremely selfish to put anybody in such a position and not a sign of good friendship. Sorry. Tradition will not cut it for me. Especially when a lot of brides spend an insane amount of $ on the wedding but can't find the extra 1K for their bridesmaids? BRIDES want their BMs to dress a certain way. That is THEIR choice, just like have specific flowers at the wedding or a specific venue. You want it? You can pay for it. But don't blame 'traditions' for burdening your BMs.

Rob--I don't disagree with you, I was simply answering your question: "I am really wondering why brides are still making them pay?" There is a difference between providing information and condoning behavior. I was saying that it is done that way because of the models on which formal weddings today are based on. If you reread my last post you'll see that I am not in disagreement with you: "Is it crazy that middle-class Americans are throwing $20,000 and $40,000+ weddings when the parents are likely to make, what, no more than $150,000 per year? Yes, it is insane."

The other thing I said, which must not have been clear, (so I will rephrase here) is that this tradition stems from that of a particular social class where money was not much of an issue. The formal weddings we see and throw and attend nowadays (in the US, I don't know about other countries), many of which are given by middle-class Americans, are really mimicries of those thrown by the upper classes not so long ago. If you are a deb with a trust fund, shelling out a few thousand for a friend's wedding is not a problem. However, if you are a struggling grad student with debt, it's not so easy.

The problem here (and this is where I agree with you, Rob, just to make it clear is that we have brides following traditions of a different time and place. This means we have families throwing "formal" events that are really priced outside of their means, or at least the means of their close friends who are in the bridal party.

Now, here is why I believe the tradition persists, correct or not: My DH and I were last of our close friends to marry. I was expected to pay and paid for all of my attire for all of my friends' weddings, and some of them were extremely demanding, not-so-gracious brides. I asked three of my friends to stand up for me, as well as my three sisters. My parents threw a formal wedding for us, and they did not pay for my friends' attire. They could have, and had I married first, they would have. However, my friends set the expectation with their own weddings that the BP's attire would not be paid for by the bride. We didn't want them to feel uncomfortable by doing so, when they knew that they didn't pay for their BP's attire. This may sound silly to you, but I know my friends, and had we offered to pay for their attire it would have made them feel ashamed for not paying for our attire. Had my friends needed the financial help, I would have offered to pay for each in private, but they didn't and I knew that.

Meresal--Do not feel bad about the choice you made, it is fine.

MsSassy--It's interesting what you say about Asian vs. Caucasian brides, because both of the brides that had me pay for my attire AND my hair and makeup were Asian friends. I wonder if it's a regional thing rather than an ethnic thing.

 

[Haven]

ROB! Have you read "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson?

If not, you will love it, trust me. It''s a critique of traditionalism, and it happens to be one of my favorite short stories. You can read it online here.

Sorry for the threadjack, Mere. I can''t resist the opportunity to spread a little reading.

 

[CNOS128]

But will you pay for their Botox?

 

[oobiecoo]

Date: 12/23/2008 1:07:04 PM
Author: TheBigT
But will you pay for their Botox?

"Alas, two women were claustrophobic and couldn’t bear standing in a tanning capsule. ''They asked the bride if they could use regular tanning cream from a salon,'' Ms. Goldberg said. The bride refused; she wanted everyone to be the same shade."


WTF?!

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/23/2008 1:07:04 PM
Author: TheBigT
But will you pay for their Botox?

Ok, I know this may sound dumb... but if I was aging and the bride of the wedding offered this as a gift, I would jump right in. IMO, it sounded like all of the girls were interested in it anyway, and the bride thought it would be nice to give them something they wanted. The article certainly didn't imply that this was being done strictly for the wedding.

Am I alone in this?

*However, the other stories in that article WERE about looking good for the wedding, and I think that is horrible. (breast implants, etc.) 4 for the price of 2?!?! Does she not watch Dateline?!?! That's a death wish, if I've ever heard one.

ETA: Haven, no problem. I'll be reading that just to learn something new.

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/23/2008 11:01:18 AM
Author: TheBigT

Musey, that''s a great point! my mom suggested getting the shoes dyed to match, which I would never do anyway (I just don''t like the look of it), but I feel like (1) nobody''s going to be looking at their shoes, and (2) finding shoes for them to wear is just going to increase my stress level - not worth it!

Meresal thank you so much for the info! Luckily, I''m in NYC so we can find almost anything here - apparently including the ''flagship boutique/corporate headquarters'' of Jenny Yoo. I just made an appointment and I am very excited!

You''ll have to update me and let us know what you thought!!! When are you going?

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 12/23/2008 1:37:06 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/23/2008 11:01:18 AM

Author: TheBigT

Meresal thank you so much for the info! Luckily, I''m in NYC so we can find almost anything here - apparently including the ''flagship boutique/corporate headquarters'' of Jenny Yoo. I just made an appointment and I am very excited!

You''ll have to update me and let us know what you thought!!! When are you going?

Meresal, we''re going tomorrow!! I''m so excited.

 

[Haven]

Botox and tans?! And breast implants!? OY!

I definitely wouldn''t pay for that, but I wouldn''t force anyone to do those things, either.

Mere--I think I might jump right in, too. I''ve never done anything cosmetic like that (unless porcelain veneers on my teeth count) so I''d be a bit terrified, but I am already rockin'' some serious crow''s feet around my eyes, give me a couple more years and I probably won''t be so scared of botox!

 

[pjean]

Meresal: a while back, you suggested maybe covering alterations instead of contributing $50. I think that''s the way I would go, personally. Especially if you''re worried about the feel of contributing a small portion of the cost of the dress.

 

[meresal]

BigT- Please take pictures... Have a great time!

Haven: I'm glad someone agrees. And what I liked about it, was that it wasn't just "Botox". Each woman, including mothers, got a professional consultation, and based on their skin, they did different things. My FMIL gets those Fraxil treatments, and swears by them. It's like a day at the spa with your favorite girls!! We should all go for someone's vow renewal.

pjean- Thanks for the input. After the holidays, I think I'll call the dress place and see what their average charges are for alterations.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I''m not having a lot of BMs..and my MOH is my Mom and two BMs are FI''s sisters. So, they''re all paying for their dresses in full. They were around $250 total. But if I was a BM I would appreciate the help.