Completely Devastated...

[diamondsgirl22]

hey ladies, i am going to try not to cry while i write this but it might not work. My father just confronted me about how he was missing money and how also my mother has been missing some money lately. I also wound up losing money earlier last week. My dad then said for me to watch my money and just be aware overall. He said he knows that my brother and my mom and i have not taken money away from them so who else could it be. He then said that he isnt pointing fingers and doesnt want to ruin anything between me and b because he knows that i love him and stuff, but who else is there left? He means my FF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot believe that he would even think that he would do that!!!!!!!!!!!! B obviously has not asked him about engagement with me yet because i think that my dad would have not agreed with the descision seeings which he thinks that my ff STEALS from us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A while ago I lost money and my bf finally told me that he saw my brother(12 yrs old) looking through my purse and asked him what he was doing and he said nothing and ran away. and when i asked both of them about it and if they really did what they did both said that they didnt do it etc. i believed both of them. so who did it? that never has left my mind. B said he saw him and my brother said he didnt do it, so one of them was lying. i just forgot about it but my dad brought it up too. he said how back then B was acting kind of strange. Back then i told B that i wouldnt care what happened, if he took it or not, and he told me that he didnt take it and was extremely hurt by it. I dont even know if B would want to propose after hearing all of this! I surely do not want to tell him, but i tell him everything!! My dad also said that since he leaves their house before i do that my mom''s purse is sitting right next to the door open and he could take it there. It is so wrong for him to even think that it would be him! He would not accept our engagement if he thinks that B steals from them!!!! My brother isnt as innocent as he seems but i know, hope that he wouldnt steal. My mom thought that it was maybe the neighbor guy, he is older and out of it at times. they leave the key under their door and that is why they moved it because of him, but my dad is convinced that he didnt do it.

This is an awful thing to accuse someone of. he said that he wasnt accusing, but he didnt say that it could be anyone else!!! What should i do?!?! I feel hurt and betrayed!! B got upset when the thing with my brother happened, so who should i believe?? My dad or my ff?? That was confusing enough but my dad said that he has been noticing it for the past 6 months.

Do i not know another side of my bf?? I do know him and that is the thing. I want to marry him! it isnt one of those relationships that i dont know the guy 100%. so who could be taking it and why is someone lying about it? my brother, i cant even imagine that he would steal it! He is in sixth grade and they get pressured a lot. but still!?? I cant even begin to fathom what is going on!!!! What should i do? My dad said that he will act normal and not to say anything to B, but how am i going to be able to act normal and be engaged to B if my parents think that he steals from us! Oh well as he put it, he isnt pointing any fingers but who else is there? I hate him so much now and i dont know how to ac tor what to do! B deserves to know so that he can watch out too for my family but i think that that will make him not want to talk to my dad about proposing/proposing in general. maybe he already talked to him about proposing and my dad just wants me to make a good decision and make sure that i dont make a mistake. But help, anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[musey]

Wow. I am so sorry, what a terrible, terrible situation.

I'm not the type to like anything hanging over anyone's heads, if you know what I mean. I absolutely hate tension and would rather have an unfavorable resolution to a problem than no resolution at all. I would talk to FI about it, not that anyone thinks it is him, necessarily, but just tell him what's been going on and ask if he has any ideas about it. Maybe he saw something again.


I hate to say this, but you know that there is always the possibility that you don't know him as well as you think you do. Our family and close friends tend to have a better/more objective insight into our significant other than we do. I'm not suggesting that this is necessarily the case with you, just something to consider in general.

Don't "hate" your dad for this... he's probably just trying to be logical about it. If all the other options are eliminated, that leaves only your FI. It's kind of a "dad" thing to make logical deductions like that. Could you talk to him more about it?


P.S. I admit I'm somewhat confused... when would your FF be in the position to steal from your family? Does he disappear for long periods when visiting your parents' house? And do you visit often? How is he even around enough to become a likely suspect?

 

[Tuesday]

Oh my goodness! That''s such a horrible situation to be in!

I agree with musey, while I don''t necessarily think you should blame anyone at this point, there''s always the possibility that we don''t know people as well as we thought (whether it''s our family or loved ones).

Maybe your family can do a little more detective work before they make a huge issue of it? Perhaps try marking some bills in a way that isn''t very obvious, and then waiting to see if they are taken and then try to track them. Or, see if they can set up a camera. There''s always the possibility that it''s something none of you have considered, too. No point in placing any blame just yet.

I hope it all gets figured out! It''s terrible that you have this hanging over you now, too.

 

[diamondsgirl22]

well we both have to live at our seperate parents houses because of money right now so he comes over to my house, sorry used to calling it my parents house. and we hangout, watch tv etc. he doesnt disappear for long amounts of time either. i might jump in the shower or something but someone is usually ALWAYS there. when he leaves my house i watch him walk out to his car and get in and leave. i have said goodnight to him up in my room but still. his dad is a pastor and has taught him better. i know that might not mean anything but he definetly is not a thief but something is going on. it is fairly creepy too. if i confront FI about it he will not want to come over anymore and be very upset at my parents. not that right now i am worried about the whole engagement thing but that would not even be an option seeings how my dad just accused him pretty much of stealing. i dont think that they will go for the whole camera thing. i thought about that. but if all of our stuff is in different places when it gets stolen. yah know? and also my FF doesnt know where my dad keeps his money so...?? I just hate it when my family wont trust my judgement. i understand about the whole family members seeing things that i dont but if he did take money from them and me, what an awful person yah know? at this point i dont even care who it is i just want to know why and how it is happening. i think that i will tell FF to be aware of what is going on but should i tell him that they think it is him? at this point, if FF really did see my brother going through my purse right before i was missing $20, then i really dont know my brother. he knows more about where the money is than FF. I will tell FF but about how they think it is him?? that is the big part of it. I tell him everything and it is going to be hard to not tell him about this part. i think that maybe i just need to tell him about the stealing and ask for his help instead of breaking the news right away that they might think that it is him. I am not going to my house tonight though, over to his. i will talk to him about it and maybe he did see something else. but even if he did my parents will not believe him as they didnt last time. they believed my brother. someone is lying and it hurts me to think about it being either one of them.


Maybe i just need to go hangout at his house instead of mine. that way if money keeps coming up missing then i will now it wasnt him and if it does then i will know it wasnt. atleast that will let my parents come to a better idea of what is happening.

 

[musey]

Date: 10/31/2007 12:36:56 PM
Author: diamondsgirl22

Maybe i just need to go hangout at his house instead of mine. that way if money keeps coming up missing then i will now it wasnt him and if it does then i will know it wasnt. atleast that will let my parents come to a better idea of what is happening.

That sounds like a great idea. You don''t seem ready to deal with the situation by talking to your FI (though I wasn''t suggesting a "confrontation" as you said, just telling him about what''s been happening) so this is a good alternate option to just avoid the problem, and hope it works out on its own.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Yikes! Did you ask your father why he hasn’t mentioned this situation until now if it has continued to happen? Personally, if money was missing from my wallet once, I wouldn’t keep quiet never mind repetedly.

I remember being 12 years old and wanting things I couldn’t buy with my allowance. I am sure I was tempted on occasion to supplement my meager savings in order to buy something cool. Is there a way to call a family meeting with just the 4 of you and start with the people who occupy the home regularly? Does your brother ever have any of his friends over on a regular basis? Maybe your family needs to create some sort of method for tracking who is in the house on days where money turns up missing.

If you can’t settle this issue between your family you have to tell FF. You don’t need to accuse him. Just tell him money has been going missing for a while now and it’s happening right under the noses of people who live in the house so it’s causing serious tension between family members. You could use this as an opportune time to suggest hanging out at his house more than yours as a way to escape the situation a bit.

If he was to propose tonight, would you keep it from your family until the dust settles on this whole thing?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

All I can say is that I''m sorry!

A few questions: how long has this been going on? How often does it happen? Does the money come up missing at specific times of the day? Like the morning, or evening? If so, is there any way to match up when the money goes missing with your family (and FFs) daily schedules?

Is your FF over at your parents'' house every day? Does the money only come up missing after he''s been there?

I wouldn''t suggest telling your FF right now because I think he''d be hurt and there would be tension between him and your parents even if nobody is pointing fingers.

Instead, I would not invite your FF over to your parents house for a week or more if need be--go to his house instead--and see if money continues to disappear.

There are even small battery-operated surveillance cameras you can buy (the size of a 9-volt battery) which could EASILY be hidding in or around your purses. I''m so sorry that it''s come to that, but unfortunately it''s the only way to absolutely know!

BTW, are your parents positive that they didn''t just misplace money or spend it on something and forgot? I know that sounds silly, but sometimes I swear I''ve lost a $20 or two only to remember later that I''d used it for something.

 

[diamondsgirl22]

yeah, i still would like FF to know that i am upset because money is missing etc. i wont be able to act normal to him overall. i really need strength though to not tell him about how they think it is him. that will just hurt him. so i will just tell him that i am concerned for my own money etc and how it is starting to get really creepy. thank you for your input. i just hope that i can stay strong and not tell him about how they think it is him. he should know but maybe there is another reason why it is coming up missing and that is why i need to wait and see what happens. thanks and hopefully my dad will be right about not wanting to accuse anyone just yet because he doesnt want to get himself in trouble and feel embarassed. i am just afraid to go home now. but if my ff asks if they think that it is him, what should i say? that they dont know who it is and that he is the only inside person that is around on a daily basis? or just that they dont know who it is? I hate situations like this.

 

[decodelighted]

How long have you been seeing your FF & did anything change 6 mos. ago with either your FF or your brother? Stolen $$ is sometimes the sign of a drug or gambling problem. Especially if lots of shiny new unexplained "stuff" is not showing up.

The thing that stands out in your story ... that your FF claims to have seen your brother getting into your purse AFTER being confronted about lost $$. Why didn''t he mention it the minute it happened .. IF it really happened. Just doesn''t pass the smell test to me. And thieves OFTEN blame others when confronted.

I''m sorry you''re going through this but if your FF is indeed dishonest it''s better to find out NOW ... before you''re engaged & ESPECIALLY before any wedding. Oh, and being a minister''s son wouldn''t convince me of someone''s good character. At all. Is this guy too good to be true? Telling you all the things you want to hear? Sharing your opinions always? Those are other signs of deception. Where a "false ideal self" is held up to disguise a darker real self.

Hope it isn''t the case.

 

[diamondsgirl22]

yeah, we all misplace money. either spend it or actually lose it. it happens. i am sure that that is what has happened a lot of the times when they think that money was stolen. and my brother rarely has friends over. and he has no way to go and spend the money. the point of the engagement problem is that he is a firm believer in talking to my dad about it before asking me. yeah, oooh is right. we could put a camera but i dont think that they really want to. they would consider it too much of a problem. my FF is over all of the time. I work until 5 so i see him after that until about 9:30pm everyday. on thursdays thru sundays a little bit longer. my relatives visit but not that often. i dont have any friends over. the money that is inside of a purse could get oney stolen anytime, at work at church, etc. yah know?!? as of when it comes up missing i dont know when. just random. like last week a month ago. me a week ago. i dont know the schedule. my dad thought that it was just him getting older etc, but since it has been happening more i guess he wanted to talk to me about it. i think that my mom is more about thinking that it isnt B. she is looking for other places and things that it could have been. like spending it on other stuff. like i said. someone is lying and i really am starting to get creeped out by it.

oh and decodelighted. he admitted what he saw before i asked him if he took it. not before.sorry if i confused you! I had no idea it happened until after he told me.
we went to walmart that night and i realized that i was mising the 20 that i had in my wallet so i asked if B was playing a joke on me. he said no so i asked him again and asked him if he was messing with me and he gave me the 20. i said why didnt you just tell me that you were teasing me instead of acting silly. i hounded him about it for a while and he told me about seeing my brother and what had happened. he didnt want to tell me because he knew that i would be hurt. nothing shiny has been bought lately. he bought a gun for his class but that money was from his band instructor check and i know that becasue i got the same amount seeings which we both work with the band so that isnt it. we have been dating for 4 years. that is why i am finding it hard to believe. that is just a long time to be with someone. he isnt addicted to alcohol or gambling either. i know that because we spend practically every moment we have together. he hasnt been acting differently with my brother either. see, nothing is checking out. i dont get it.

He isnt too ideal of a bf. he is perfect. he isnt overally perfect. he doesnt buy me stuff all of the time. he treats me well and like someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 10/31/2007 1:09:12 PM
Author: diamondsgirl22
oh and decodelighted. he admitted what he saw before i asked him if he took it. not before.sorry if i confused you!

we went to walmart that night and i realized that i was mising the 20 that i had in my wallet so i asked if B was playing a joke on me. he said no so i asked him again and asked him if he was messing with me and he gave me the 20. i said why didnt you just tell me that you were teasing me instead of acting silly. i hounded him about it for a while and he told me about seeing my brother and what had happened. he didnt want to tell me because he knew that i would be hurt.

Now I''m confused. You say he told you about seeing your brother take $ BEFORE you asked him if HE took it .. but then describe in the story that

1) you realized $ was gone
2) you asked him if he was teasing you
3) he denied it
4) you asked him AGAIN
5) he gave you $20
6) you asked why he didn''t tell you he was teasing you
7) you "hounded him" until
he FINALLY reports the "seeing your brother story" (true or not)

Honestly ... I''m more suspicious of him than ever with that set of events. I mean HE GAVE YOU THE $20 BACK! You really think he gave you his OWN $20 to save you from the horrible truth of your brother being a thief??

 

[Tuesday]

Aside from the mystery of the missing money, it sounds like you''ve got an issue to settle with your parents regarding your relationship. If they are that quick to believe that your boyfriend did it, then it sounds like they have some issues with trust.

Once you figure it all out, if it turns out that it''s not your BF you need to sit down with your parents and talk to them about your relationship. Tell them how serious you are about it, but also be open to listening to what they have to say. Find out what their concerns are. Especially if you''re still a bit younger and living at home, you need to show them that you are being mature about the way you handle your relationship by discussing it with them rationally.

Having your parents support will alleviate a lot of potential future stress on your relationship. It''s certainly possible to manage to make it as a couple if your parents disapprove, but it puts a huge strain on your marriage.

I hope everything works out for you.

 

[swingirl]

The best solution is to NOT have your FF to your house at all. (but don't say this is what you are doing) Then leave money in some obvious places and see if it disappears. It's most likely a 12-year-old-boy thing? It's not uncommon for kids this age to see things they want but have no money of their own except the the money in their house.

But you don't want any suspicion around your fiance and it would be best to clear him in you parent's eyes (and in your eyes).

 

[WeightLifterChick]

Oh no, I am so sorry this is all happening! What a sticky situation.

I absolutely agree with decodelighted - if something needs to be found out, it needs to come out now, before any engagement or wedding. Your FF needs to be completely honest with you.

I also agree with Tuesday about settling things with your parents regarding your relationship. It sounds strange that your dad thinks of your FF first when it comes to sensitive issues such as this.

Hope you get everything figured out soon. I am so sorry *hugs*

 

[diamondsgirl22]

just talked to FI and told him what happened and of course he got all mad because my parents accused him of it. even though i didnt say that they did. now he is mad. i told him that i trust him with my life but something is going on. he said that he has been with me for four years and why would he take my money because he loves me. so i believe him but still someone knows where all of the money is and is either one of the four of them or someone is coming into our house and taking the money which is really creepy. the funny thing iis ithat i believe him. i ask him about it though and he says that i am accusing him of stealing the money. which i guess that i would act that way if someone said that to me. but i just wanted him to know that it would break my heart if he was the one that did it that was all. is that wrong of me to express. i hate this so much because once again he is mad because they accused him of stealing and i am weary of him and my brother. i shouldnt be because i love him and i know that he owuldnt do it. i just want to know if someone that you love would actually do that. not particularly mine but i just want the truth. how do i figure it out? i am afraid to go home now. I cashed a check for 700 dollars. i feel like someone is breaking into my privacy and i want to know who it is.

 

[diamondsgirl22]

yeah, i did believe my bf about my brother. he is very sweet like that and he didnt want to hurt me by letting me know that my brother took it. you are right, kind of weird that he gave it to me after i was teasing him about it. but that was really his 20 because i saw it in his wallet and also saw my 20. they were two seperate 20s. but of course both stories could work out to be believable so i just dont know. if i asked my father about why he said that it was bf and not someone else he would just say how my bf is the only one that is around a lot. which is true. they are very opinionated in their ways. they trust me and that i am very mature. none of it makes any sense. they know that we are serious and want to get married. they know that. i am stunned and hurt by all of this and i am sure even if one of them did take it they would never admit to it which i believe my bf but should i tell him that we should take a break until we figure it out? he would be so hurt though if i said that but i dont know how else to solve it. maybe it needs a drastic change. i dont know what to do.


they always believe my brother too. so even if B didnt do it and that was clear after i left money there, they wouldnt believe it. and the thing is they LOVE and TRUST B with all of their hearts! they adore him. but they say that they dont know who else it could be.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 10/31/2007 1:49:23 PM
Author: diamondsgirl22
i just want to know if someone that you love would actually do that. not particularly mine but i just want the truth.

Simply: yes. People we love do bad things. Hopefully you find out *before* you marry them. I can think of many examples here on p-scope of ladies who were very much in love with their fellas only to find out they were cheating, or a "woman beater", or lying about graduating college, or into drugs/gambling, or had secret kids, or were trying to get them to commit biz frauds, or were actually gay. All of the ladies were TOTALLY SHOCKED. So, YES, it can and does happen.

I''m not sure if you''ll ever know what happened now ... because you sabotaged any investigation you could do when you told him of the suspicion. Did you not want to know the answer -- but just wanted it to stop?

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Uhhh, what a difficult situation!

Here are my thoughts:

First, I’m not sure about whether the $20 that your boyfriend gave you in wal-mart was your $20 that he saw your brother taking or if it was your boyfriend’s $20 that he gave you because he didn’t want to tell you about the situation he witnessed with your brother. I didn’t understand what happened in your post...maybe I just read it wrong. If it was your $20 that your boyfriend gave you I’m wondering why he wouldn’t just have put it back in your purse without you knowing if he didn’t want to upset you in telling you the situation that happened with your brother.

I work for law enforcement in analyzing crime so excuse me if I get a little too Nancy Drew.

But my thought is that most people commit crimes (or do something wrong in which they could be caught) in a place where they feel comfortable. I think if it WAS your boyfriend there probably would have been incidences of money theft (or money mysteriously going missing) at his parents house (where he lives, right?) before any thefts happened at your house. Just something to think about.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I think if this is an issue of someone steeling money and not simply misplacing money then you have to figure it out, via cameras or whatever. You don’t want to get engaged with your family always thinking in the back of their mind that your fiancé could possibly have done something like that to them. I think it is important for you to sit down with your parents and tell them how you are hurt that they would even think of your fiancé… but that you all need to resolve this. I think it could cause so major tension in the future if you don’t take care of it now.

Also, I agree with not telling your fiancé. I think it would only hurt him and until you get something concrete, I wouldn’t bring it up to him.

I’m so sorry that you are going through this.

 

[nebe]

Get a 20 bill and a sharpie marker. Put a little dot on all four corners of the bill on both sides. So you can tell it's your bill.

Leave $20 in your kitchen on the counter next to your license or lipstick (something that identifies you), tell your parents about it and leave the kid alone in the house. Go out with FF and don't let him into the house when you get home "I have a headache, blah blah" If the money isn't there, and the kid suddenly has a mysteriously marked bill, it's him.

Or try it backwards with FF. Leave the money in the bathroom on the counter tucked inbetween your stuff when you're brother isn't around.

Simple enough to pull off, should give you an idea.

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh, I hate hate hate to say it, but I''m kind of with Deco. This sounds seriously suspicious to me. Even his reaction when you brought it up sounds decidedly like how the thief would respond. Why would he jump to the conclusion that your parents meant HIM if you didn''t say that? Why wouldn''t he assume it was your brother, particularly under the circumstances.

And I would NOT get engaged to this man until you are 100% certain that he is 100% honest. Scary! Just imagine...

I wish I could tell you how to resolve this. But it does just sound seriously fishy to me.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Ooops, sorry! I just saw that you already explained the $20 situation and you already told your boyfriend. I didn''t catch up before I sent my post!

I can understand why your boyfriend would be hurt by this situation. It probibly hurts his feelings that your parents even thought about him possibly taking the money.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/31/2007 2:05:51 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 10/31/2007 1:49:23 PM
Author: diamondsgirl22
i just want to know if someone that you love would actually do that. not particularly mine but i just want the truth.

Simply: yes. People we love do bad things. Hopefully you find out *before* you marry them. I can think of many examples here on p-scope of ladies who were very much in love with their fellas only to find out they were cheating, or a ''woman beater'', or lying about graduating college, or into drugs/gambling, or had secret kids, or were trying to get them to commit biz frauds, or were actually gay. All of the ladies were TOTALLY SHOCKED. So, YES, it can and does happen.

I''m not sure if you''ll ever know what happened now ... because you sabotaged any investigation you could do when you told him of the suspicion. Did you not want to know the answer -- but just wanted it to stop?

Good lord, has there been that much drama around here?

Diamondsgirl, I think you have gotten plenty of insight here so I don''t have anything to add except have your eyes wide open. Something about your bf strikes me as suspicious too, but I am just generally cynical in nature.

 

[musey]

 

[Kayakqueen83]

And I aggree with Deco, if you really wanted to end your parents and your possible suspicion of your boyfriend''s involvement you shouldn''t have told him. I think it is going to be hard to find it out now that he knows. However, if it is your brother you can always still find out about his involvement. Just do what Nebe said.

 

[neatfreak]

Wait here, am I understanding correctly that when you were at Walmart, your BF had YOUR TWENTY in his wallet? That''s what you said I think.

I am so so confused, but honestly, the whole walmart incident really concerns me. My DH loves me too and cares about my little sister, but he wouldn''t give me $20 of his $ just to "cover" for her ya know? Just too weird to me.

I would try and set him up or something...or at least keep him away from your house for awhile and see if the stealing stops. Make it easy for the perpetrator to steal, give them some bait like leaving your wallet on the table. And do it when ONLY one of them is around, and see what happens.

But something smells fishy here...

 

[diamondsgirl22]

decolighted: no i didnt tell him about the suspicion. i told him to watch out for me and sked him if had seen anything. he assumed that because they accused him last time that that is who they think is stealing their money. i never said anything about the suspicion. i knew that he would be upset and assume that they were accusing him. no it was HIS 20 not mine. he gave me his not mine back. he would have put it back if it was mine. he just told my brother to stop going through my purse.

the reason he jumped to conclusions about them thinking it was him is when i told him that they werent sure what was going on since us five were the only ones at the house a lot of the times and that my dad said that it wasnt my mom or brother. he got blamed before and knew that he was blamed so i think that is why he jumped to conclusions. i will try to leave money but i dont think that they would show my parents their money to check for marks if they really did steal it.
i really think that i need to get a camera or something. my parents could also have misplaced the money as would i. i just dont understand still how to get the truth out of anyone. my parents probably didnt even ask my brother about the money. i need to get a camera but i dont think that my parents would like that. things are getting out of hand and i just wish that people would tell the truth. i want to know if he is doing it. it hurts so bad. i want to know who. i dont even care who it turns out to be. it might hurt but atleast i will know what is going on.

believe my bf completely and trust him with my heart which is why i keep getting stuck about this overall. even if i leave money out like i said noone will believe me when i tell them about it. i will try it tomorrow night. i hate this because you ladies really dont know him and he is an amazing person and i feel like i am making you ladies hate him. i do agree that you think that you know someone until this happens. which is why i am so torn up about all of this. believe him or dont trust him anymore. i want to do both but how? is that right of me to do and believe?

 

[Cleopatra]

Maybe try planting money in your wallet - know exactly how much you put in - and maybe "mark" the money somehow....maybe a green/black/red dot in a conpicuous place that only you know about....then, when/if it goes missing, you''ll be able to notice if your FF or little bother or someone else has any cash with those "dots" and the culprit is then caught....that is, if you don''t go all "Scooby Doo" and put cameras up

 

[diamondsgirl22]

i understand what you are saying but how will i see the money after it is missing? asking my brother or bf to see their money is kind of weird and suspicious. ??? i really would like to try the camera but where could i put it? and if it is my brother he will see that i put it up unless of course i put it there when he is at school but still. i dont think that i could pull it off.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

If the money is gone... call a family meeting. Tell everyone this has been an issue. You feel uncomfortable in your own home and for the sake of everyone (and to know if someone is breaking in your house and stealing money) you all need to find out who is stealing the money so everyone can trust one-another again. Tell everyone what you did and ask everyone...right then and there...to show their money in their wallets. Ta-da! If you find the money, great. If someone doesn''t want to do it... then there you have it as well. I think then you have a good dialong with your family about the trust issues and you resolve the situation.

If you want to know who is steeling you might have to put yourself in a uncomfortable situation to find out. In the end, what is more important to you? To know for sure or just to let it go?

 

[Kayakqueen83]

haha

Dialogue... not dialong.

Sometimes my fingers type too fast for my brain