colored stone engagement ring idea

[Eudora]

Hi! I am a long time lurker and first time poster. i have always loved colored gemstones since I was a little girl watching home shopping TV, but I have honestly never bought anything major because I have never had much discretionary income and have spent most of it on other things.

My boyfriend asked me about a month ago to start giving him ideas about engagement rings. I started lurking heavily on PS, hoping to come up with ideas. I'm finding that my tastes are pretty divergent and I'm really not sure what to tell him. I feel like if If I tell him the following, he'll get overwhelmed. I also want to leave it open for him to be creative and make decisions
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Here are some things I like:
-Asschers, particularly ones with "windmills." In an asscher, i'd like a lighter blue sapphire or spinel OR a yellow sapphire or chyrsoberyl. I'd want the asscher in either a classic claw prong simple setting OR in a modern sleek bezel. In either case, I'm not sure if I'd want solitaire or shield or trapezoidal side diamonds. With the modern setting, maybe round diamonds scattered in the band. Yellow or rose gold depending on the center stone color.
- Star sapphires and star rubies. Or possibly very high-quality sapphire or ruby cabochon. Only in this case do I care about "top color." Open to different settings (see below).
-Montana sapphires. Open to a lot of colors. I just like the idea that they're from the United States. Fine with greenish or other not perfect colors if I find them pretty. Again, open to different settings (keep reading).
-Slight preference for sapphires and rubies over spinels and chrysoberyls because of the explanation factor, but more set on beauty than anything else
-Unusual cuts like this: http://acstones.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idcategory=0&idproduct=1324 set east-west in sleek, simple, modern settings, possibly again, with diamonds. I also like pears and marquises set this way
-Any other cuts that are really bring out the sparkle.
-Solitaires and three stones with crown-like baskets. For three stone, could be all sapphire/chrysoberyl/spinel or diamond sides. Could be all same color or could be yellow/blue/white.
-Rings with lots of antique-style engraving, possible wheat-style, but maybe even more unique and filled with something with symbolism
-Hand-made, one-of-a-kind rings, but basically antique styles or actually antiques
-Modern, artisan styles, including assymetrical styles and those do no scream "engagement ring" but look like mini-works of art
-I am a tall woman with somewhat large hands, so I have some real estate to work with, though I'd like to keep the main stone smaller than a 2 carat diamond or so. My fingers aren't that long, though so something that elongates them would be good.
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Here are some things I personally don't like:
white metals, anything "boring" (subjective, I know), most prongs that aren't decorative (crown style) or skinny claw prongs, channel setting, more than a little bit of pave, halos, things that are delicate or will requires a lot of maintance, things that get dirty easily, things with high-profiles, anything that reminds me of prom jewelry, too much trendiness (although I do like it when things look of their era, as long as it's a "good example" of the period, whether in the past or today).
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In short, I feel like i could tell him:

GEMS:
Montana sapphires, other blue or yellow sapphires, star blue sapphires or rubies, rich-colored cabochon blue sapphires or rubies, chrysoberyls, spinels
in
asscher or blingiest possible cut

SETTINGS:
None of my dislikes, something unique and awesome.

That's realy not helpful, is it?
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I don't really know what the budget is, but definitely under $4000 and no lower limit. There are $1000 pieces (such as the shield chrysoberyl in a simple setting) and $4000 pieces I am equally agonizing over. Anymore than $4000 and i think I would freak out. It's just my personality. I have some wiggle room because his mother supposedly has a credit she can use to throw in for side or accent diamonds with a family friend who has access to wholesale loose.
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Another thing, I am torn about how involved I want to be in this process. On the one hand, I know a lot more about gems, jewelry, and where to buy them than he does, and I think I would enjoy being part of a project of my very own as I'm not sure when I'll ever shell out $$ for jewelry again. On the other hand, I being surprised about something like an e-ring is VERY important to me. Call me old fashioned, but that's how I feel. I want it the ring to be a result of his efforts and tastes. I don't want him to just be Mr. Moneybags. Plus, I think knowing how much the ring cost and being part of the financial decision-making would stress me out and make me feel self-conscious.

 

[movie zombie]

welcome.....good grief woman you really do know what you like and don't like so get involved!
but tell him you want him to hold the ring and surprise you with it.
unless of course he really really really wants to do it all himself....but i'm guessing he'd love the help.
again, welcome to pricescope and particularly welcome to the color stone forum: many of us have color stone e-rings.

oh, and a 2 carat color stone is way smaller than a 2 carat diamond. given you have "real estate" to work with, don't hesitate to go large. my e-ring is an 8.18 carat spessartite......which i think equates to about a 4 carat diamond. at one time i saw a chart that gave equivalents but not sure where i saw it.

 

[T L]

MZ,
It depends on density. Beryls will face up larger than a diamond, but other cs will not, such as spessartite.

 

[chrono]

You have many likes and dislikes; either you narrow it down to one stone colour and type with one style of setting, or get involved. I guarantee that if you don't limit your choices down to one, he'll despair of his task and is more likely to end up getting most of it incorrect. This is your forever ring. You don't have to decide on it right away but you need to seriously think about being in love and proud of wearing it forever.

 

[tara3056]

I agree - you should be quite involved, or else you're really risking getting something you don't love. BUT you should have him hold onto the final, finished ring until he decides to present it to you. Even if you've seen the loose stone and worked with a designer on CAD drawings, the finished product will still be a wonderful surprise. Collaborate with your fiance so he and his tastes are taken into account as well. But your fiance will want you to have something you love and that doesn't necessarily sound like something he can succeed at without your help.

 

[LD]

Crikey I love sourcing gems and settings but your "wish" list is so specific and so wide even I wouldn't know where to start.

So, if I were you, I'd narrow it down to one or two gemstones (and please make sure that you do your research if you're going to end up with a sapphire or ruby so you understand treatment and how it affects price - in fact I would say this for ALL gemstones).

Then I'd also get inspiration photos of settings you like/don't like. So if you have a specific set of "no" I REALLY don't want that then have a photographic record for him. Similarly, if you LOVE something, make sure he has a photo of that.

Size of gemstone is incredibly important - and of course in different gemstones 1ct can look the same as a 2ct. So decide on the mm coverage you want. That way you'll end up with the finger coverage you want.

Hope that helps.

 

[wordie89]

+1. Try pinterest to get some pics of things you like. Try on rings at b&m stores. Sounds like Asn exiting treasure hunt!p

 

[Eudora]

Thanks for the input. I think I am going to photoshop a bunch of my likes and dislikes together so that he can see. Maybe, for example, he'll hate asschers and love star sapphires. Then that will be that, and we can go from there. I would like to try more thigns on in person because I really don't know what these thing actually look like. I hope we can find shops with a good selection. I don't think I can get too involved, though, just because of my mental blockage against it.

 

[Fly Girl]

Eudora, some men really get into the shopping for an engagement ring activity. Many men would rather have things mapped out for them, because they have no idea what they are doing and will just go into the nearest jewelry store and purchase the first pretty thing they see.

After many years I discovered that if you don't want to go shopping together (which I HIGHLY recommend), you should go preshopping. I have several jewelers who have a list of items that I like. My DH can just pick a store and select a piece of jewelry from the list, and be assured that I will love it. It takes a lot of pressure off of him, because, like most people, he is not a mind reader.

 

[JewelFreak]

All the advice above is absolutely right. A romantic idea of being surprised turns sour in seconds if the surprise isn't to your taste! Most men know only that a gem is a rock that sparkles & that's all they care to know. YOU have to wear it forever, so in real life you need to give him some pretty specific guidance.

You don't need to see the actual ring -- but you could pick out several you'd be happy with, whether online or in a shop, and let him make the final choice from those. He would doubtless be relieved -- it's a big responsibility to lay on somebody with no knowledge of a complex field. Believe me, he knows you don't think he's only Mr. Moneybags.

Lord, Eudora, if I let my husband pick out jewelry alone for me, I'd have a drawerful of unworn un-lovelies. Not his fault -- it just isn't his thing. I wouldn't want to buy him a vintage car without his help (if I ever could, lol) -- he's an expert. Same thing!

Congratulation, btw!

--- Laurie

 

[Eudora]

Ok. I made an "inspiration board" for us to talk through. Hopefully some of his likes and dislike will emerge through that. It will be easy if he has a clear preference among my preferences. Then I'll make a non-negotiable No's-No's page.

 

[GliderPoss]

That a great selection to show what you like BUT I agree with the others in that it may still be rather overwhelming for your partner - some of those styles are almost "conflicting" leaving it harder to choose.

Spend some time trying things on to narrow down your selection. I'd just give hime 2 options not 10!

 

[Fly Girl]

I love all the rings on your inspiration board. You like bright bold colored stones. I'd wear any of those pretties.

Now, I really think you need to go see what is actually out there for sale. Large, clean, brightly colored stones, that are natural and not heavily treated, are very rare and very expensive. What is likely to be in budget will be of poorer quality. The struggle is going to be to find an acceptable stone that is in budget. For example, I recently purchased a star sapphire, after many, many years of looking. Finding an acceptable color, with a fine star, in a sizeable stone, for a reasonable price, took years of looking. So, out of your many ideas, it may come down to what can be found that is affordable.

 

[Eudora]

Thanks for the input.

I know this is a lot, but hopefully with me there to talk through these, it will make more sense to him. I just think that he knows nothing about jewelry, doesn't even know what is possible, and this first round will help him narrow down broad categories and begin to develop his preferences. Hopefully it will work. We have time set aside this week.

I think the point about availability is a good one. If a decent star sapphire is just not going to be found, then it won't be found, so that narrows it down. I will say that i don't **necessarily** love bright, bold colors, except for in cabochons. The settings pictures are meant to illustrate the settings. Except for a star sapphire or ruby or ruby cabochon, I just want a blue, yellow, or in-between stone that makes me happy when I look at it. I have friend who got an a sapphire from an "ethical jewelry" website and it's a reasonably pretty blue, but it's just kind blah. I don't need "ceylon blue," but I want it to be pretty to me, not blah.

But in terms of gettability (to coin a term), which of the following are most available?
Imagine that I want something about 6.5-7mm (different if not a symmetrical shape, but more or less).
Are any dramatically more or less expensive than others?

-Montana sapphires - Can be blue, yellow, or any color in between. Pale and "less ideal" colors are fine, but not TOO gray and not dull. I don't mind if it's a "denim," "steely" or "oceanic" color characteristic of Montana, but again, want to be happy when I look at it, beyond origin.
-Star sapphire or star ruby - Any shape, even wonky. Has to be a pretty color with transparency though
-Ruby cabochon - has to be bold and glowy, on the warm side
-Asscher - sapphire, chrysoberyl or spinel. Again, can be blue, yellow, or any color in between. Pale and "less ideal" colors are fine, but not TOO gray and not dull.

I guess those are the things that seem hard to get. It seems like it would be pretty easy to find a well-cut pretty sapphire, spinel, or chrysoberyl in that size range in a round, oval, or unique cut. I'm not making this my backup, it just seems more effortless and more about finding "the one" than finding a suitable one at all.

 

[Eudora]

Also, on my board, in the modern section towards the right, there is a round bezel-set diamond with, like reflectively diamonds set into the band. What is that called? Is it expensive or difficult to do? I've never seen it before. It looks like channel setting sort of but I don't care for channel setting. I think it's from singlestone.com.

 

[chrono]

Sapphire
There is no question that this will be the easiest to get, but also the most expensive. They are also the most commonly highly treated gemstone type in the market which range from synthetics, heat only, diffused, clarity enhanced, and more. It's a good choice for everyday wear as well.

Spinel
More likely to get online than at a store front. Generally untreated but there are some very convincing synthetics and some undisclosed heat treatment going on. Spinels are also getting quite expensive and are great for everyday wear.

Chrysoberyl
I haven't seen in any stores but only at shows and online. Very durable for everyday wear, untreated and still priced quite low compared to other gem types.

Asscher cut
He'll have to commission this from a lapidary. You aren't going to see any ready cut ones for sale. Most material are not suited to this design because it must be deep enough yet not too dark or the steps cannot be seen. This design stone also faces up much smaller than a round or oval. In terms of sparkle, it is also outperformed by the other cut designs.

 

[distracts]

I think you should look at the rings at this etsy shop, they seem like some of them might be stuff you like:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/AdziasJewelryAtelier?ref=pr_faveshops

I am definitely a proponent of picking out the ring together. My fiance and I did, and both of us are still absolutely in love with it. I will also say that he would have spent three times my budget if he'd been entirely in control of the process, but I knew that really wasn't necessary to get something I loved. I think picking together is especially necessary with colored stones, where subtle nuances of color can really impact how much you do or don't like something. Like, I thought I didn't want a royal blue sapphire, but it turned out the one I liked most was in the general area of "royal blue," just greyer and greener than the ideal, and that made the difference between me being indifferent and me being over-the-moon about it. It wasn't just the result of my efforts and tastes or of just his, but of both of ours. For instance, I originally wanted a sapphire solitaire originally but my fiance really, really wanted a reasonably sized diamond on the ring because otherwise it didn't feel to him like he was getting me an engagement ring. One of the first rings he liked was the Tiffany three-stone ring with the diamond center and sapphire sides. Which, no. We did end up with a three-stone, but with a sapphire center and diamond sides! He definitely thinks it is the best ring in the world and doesn't see why I could possibly need any other rings (he is not swayed by the "I have ten fingers" argument). Once we picked out the ring, I didn't hear another thing about it until he proposed, and I was completely surprised by the proposal.

I also want you to think about how you'd feel if he spent his money on a ring you didn't like. Men interpret our requests in strange ways and have their own weird hangups about rings as well. I know it's hard to believe that you might not like something he picked out, but we all the time people who like their rings but really wished for something different. If you are concerned about the financial aspect, I think it is even more wise to get involved so that you can be sure the money is spent on something you both will love forever.

And if you are not going to go shopping with your man, PLEASE send him to PS (and then resist the urge to check)! And give him a short list of about three to five completed rings, in a fairly similar style, that you would be happy with, and a small choice of stone colors/types and cuts. Cause even I wouldn't know where to start with your wishlist.

(And an asscher in any of the stones you like would probably have to be custom cut. Depending on the exact color and size you want, sapphires and spinels could be out of or most of the budget. Chrysoberyls, especially lemony yellow ones rather than the greener ones, would probably be more affordable.)

 

[velouriaL]

I think you are right that well-cut sapphires, chrysoberyls, and spinels in nice colors and less unusual shapes are fairly common, but the more you look, the more your palate develops, the more difficult it is to be satisfied!

You mentioned having a slight preference for sapphires over spinels and chrysoberyls because of having to explain. In that case, I'd probably take spinels off my list if I were you because they don't often come in yellow and it can be difficult to find nice blues. Stay open to them, but all things considered, but I think you're going to be happier with a blue sapphire, even if it's not peak color, than a blue spinel, which will likely also not be peak color.

Montana Sapphires, if you like the colors they come in (I do!) are fairly available. They do tend to be smaller, though, and rise in price quickly in the size you want. I know that the photos on gemfix have been reported to be a mixed bag, but they do seem to have a large collection of well-cut Montana sapphires. I think it will be difficult to find a Montana asscher, so it's likely to be one or the other in that case.

For asschers, you might want to be in touch with some of the cutters who are popular for their asscher here. Roger Dery, Jeff White, and Peter Torraca come to mind. A long time ago, I e-mailed Peter Torraca about a chrysoberyl asscher and he said that he didn't have any on hand, but that if I were serious, he'd begin looking. Unfortunately, I wasn't as serious as I'd liked to have been. But that gives you some of the idea of the process. I think a blue or yellow asscher is do-able, but you may have to begin soon, be patient, and be willing to pull the trigger when you find a good one.

Sorry, I can't really speak to star corundums or cabochon rubies, but both are gorgeous!

 

[movie zombie]

oh, dear, the post with "ideas" while helpful is also confusing.....some of the styles are so very different! i think if i was your BF i'd run for the hills! seriously! however, i understand it because You haven't narrowed down what exactly you want....and he'll never be able to do it either.

go shopping together. try on everything. see what you think. i like the idea of finding a store or several stores and keeping a list there [or at each] of what you'd be happy to live with.

i was the same way re setting design until we did this.

 

[minousbijoux]

Not surprisingly, I agree with VelourialL, Chrono and Distracts. In summary, I think it will be hard to find in a timely fashion a star sapphire in the size you seek that is transparent, so while you can keep your eyes open for one, I wouldn't count on it. As for the chrysos, spinel and sapphire, I think in that order, they will go from least expensive to most expensive (unless you're talking about blue spinels - again, good quality is very illusive, or Montana sapphires, which might be less expensive depending on color and size). I would think that with the availability of chrysoberyl, you would have a better chance of a cutter being able to cut you an asscher in that material than in the others, unless you would settle for some of the spinel colors that are less mainstream, like "platinum" or silver/lavender. They are still available on ebay and you could probably purchase one and have it recut into an asscher by one of the lapidaries who accept outside stones. There are definitely downsides to this, but just putting it out there in case it was of interest to you. There are threads around here where others have done just that and been thrilled with their stones.

Did I miss the part where you talked about the level of treatment that was acceptable to you? I see you like rubies, but unless you're willing to settle for a lead glass filled, I doubt you will find one within your budget. Same for an unheated sapphire, unless you're willing to settle slightly on the color, and get one that is not considered an in demand color.

I had a hard time reading your board and could not seem to enlarge it. Have you indicated what color metal you seek? That too, might guide the stone choice as well.

Finally, I totally agree with the others about your partner, that you hopefully can narrow it down for him before he is tasked with building the ring. I would agree that you should go try on some different designs and see what feels right to you before you even show him your board. My hands are fairly average and I can say that I am incredibly picky about how rings look on my fingers - elongated north/south rings make my fingers look short; big substantial rings overwhelm my hands, and wide bands do not flatter my hands. So what I typically pick is something with a band that tapers out towards the head with some diamond accents leading up to it on either side. I say all that just to give you a sense of what I've realized in my search for gemstone rings that flatter my hands. You may find that several of the designs on your board just don't look good on you, in which case you can knock those designs right out.

I hope this helps.

 

[lambskin]

What about a tanzanite? It has the blues you like plus a little red/pink flash for the pinks you like. Plus you may be able to get an Assher cut. Your likes are varied. Some settings you have shown would be beautiful for rings other than for engagement. Think of your future purchases for b-days , anniverisaries and various holidays. Go with to pick it out-otherwise you may not like what you get.

 

[chrono]

I would never recommend a tanzanite as an everyday 24/7 e-ring stone because it is unable to hold up to the stresses of such wear and tear.

 

[velouriaL]

double post

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Have you seen many of the styles you like in real life? Often, things that look beautiful in pictures don't please us as much in real life (where the detail we fell in love may not be as visible or may be overpowering). Sometimes, they just don't suit us (good bye, skirts with thin pleats). By trying many different things on, you may be able to narrow down your choices a little. Is there a gem show near you? That would be a great opportunity to look at different varieties of stones.

 

[chrono]

Lady D,
That's an excellent point about trying rings out. Often, I find that although I like certain colours, they don't look good with my skin tone. The same goes for certain ring designs. This will help narrow down your options and you'll have a happier BF (or rather less stressed out).

 

[Rosebloom]

Also, on my board, in the modern section towards the right, there is a round bezel-set diamond with, like reflectively diamonds set into the band. What is that called? Is it expensive or difficult to do? I've never seen it before. It looks like channel setting sort of but I don't care for channel setting. I think it's from singlestone.com.

That is from Single Stone. They are tapered French Cut diamonds and yes, sadly, they are expensive. Check out Art Nouveau's beauty:

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mozambique-paraiba-tourmaline-in-leon-mege-french-cut-ring.151081/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mozambique-paraiba-tourmaline-in-leon-mege-french-cut-ring.151081/[/URL]

And I agree with everyone that especially with your divergent tastes I would recommend being as involved as possible.

 

[LD]

You're missing something critical. You MUST have a board of things you DON'T like. That's sometimes more helpful and will steer your boyfriend away from a potential mistake!

 

[movie zombie]

You're missing something critical. You MUST have a board of things you DON'T like. That's sometimes more helpful and will steer your boyfriend away from a potential mistake!

i so agree with this.

actually, i think absolute involvement and/or lots of window shopping together should be undertaken.

 

[Eudora]

Thanks again all.

I do have a board of dislikes, but I didn't want toast it because as with my likes board, it uses a lot of pricescope rings as examples and I didn't want to offend people.

I showed him my boards and he does indeed have particular preferences. He doesn't like the antique style rings that are "too busy" and he doesn't like the modern rings that look too "futuristic," but it's funny because I am baffled by these descriptions because he often likes examples that to me look busier than ones he doesn't like or less futuristic than ones he does. In short, we need to figure out what we mean by the things we say.

We will be window shopping soon. Any ideas for southern California? We want to see gems in person (different color sapphires, Montanas, asschers) and we want to try on a variety of shapes and styles of rings, doesn't matter if they're set with diamonds as we want to just see the shape on my hand and at actual jewelry scale. In think these macro shots are screwing up my perception. Do shops mind window shoppers who want to try on everything and have no intention of buying? Can you take pictures in shops?

I am confident at this point that after windows hopping and looking at more pictures, I'll be able to assemble a much more narrowed down board that he can run with, find vendors, get the ring made.

 

[Fly Girl]

Eudora - I go window shopping nearly every day and I am welcome in the same jewelry stores over and over. I have no intention of buying, but you never know. Any jewelry store worth your business will recognize that you are potential customers, perhaps for life. You may have no intention of buying when you walk in, but what about next week, next month, or next year? Young people don't have a lot of money for jewelry now, but that changes as you grow older, and jewelers know this. They want your future DH to come back for that future Christmas present, that future birthday present and that future anniversary present.

Don't sell yourselves short. You are potential customers for these jewelers, so recognize this and go have a good time trying on rings!