Wedding COLOR WARS!! (or, "How to negotiate wedding details with your SO")

[rockzilla]

I love my fiance. (Obviously, because we''re getting married) But I feel we''ve reached a wall on something, honestly, quite trivial.

We are having trouble negotiating the colors for the wedding. The bridesmaids dresses are plum from Jcrew, and then I found this wedding invite with eggplant-purple and plum as an accent color. So, I have been thinking more and more about a purple/plum wedding. I also found this lovely picture with brown linens and a plum-colored runner. I think all of these color schemes are gorgeous.

My fiance, on the other hand, really loves modern green and white...and everything I pick out (particularly anything with purple) is "too girly." It is very difficult (likely impossibe?) to reconcile these two color schemes. I think he''s feeling a bit hurt...like I am disregarding his feelings and opinions. But, someone has to win! We can''t have half the tables in green and the other half purple...it would look like a mardi gras parade.

I don''t want him to feel like I''m steamrolling him. I want him to know his opinions are valuable and feel like he is included in the planning. And his ideas aren''t bad or ugly, I just feel like, since our wedding is outdoors, white and green will just kind of blend in (we''re on grass).

This isn''t a huge source of conflict between us or anything...I think he has just sort of "given up" on having an opinion because mine are so strong. Other people I''ve told have just basically said that he should defer to me, because I am the woma. As a feminist, I disagree with this. Yes, if one person has an interest and the other doesn''t, it makes sense to delegate. But he clearly has an interest, so I want to include him.

Any advice is appreciated. I''m posting both of our color schemes below.

 

[rockzilla]

His preferences (I actually made this, but it is pretty accurate)

 

[Allison D.]

Rock/paper/scissors?

 

[Allison D.]

Well, a few questions....

Do the Jcrew dresses come in other (less girly) colors? If they come in anything along the red spectrum, that would be complementary to green and allow you to work both in. Maybe he'd be better with a burgundy or maroon instead of purpley/pinky?

Looking at your photo vs. his, I feel as though yours is all overwhelmingly girl color and his is a bit nondescript due to being so neutral.

Is there a way to compromise? It shouldn't be hard to work in the green a bit since you will be outdoors and green will be a natural complement to your surroundings.

What if you were to mix some white into the purple-ish flower arrangements and move the table runners to green?

 

[E B]

Could the two of you come to a compromise about the "feel" of the wedding? The wedding colors can be plum and brown, but the feel could be more modern. For example, those wedding invitations (while beautiful) are floral and what some may call "girly." Mod floral and girly, but floral/girly nonetheless. Maybe he'd be happier with clean lines and less 'flowery stuff'?

My husband and I didn't agree on everything while planning our wedding, but some battles were more important than others. For instance, I picked the color scheme, and my husband picked the reception playlist. I picked the design of the wedding cake, and my husband picked his day of attire (down to his shoes!). While I started the invitation design process, my husband had the final say. We always got each other's approval once we'd made a decision, and we found this worked best for us.

 

[CNOS128]

I'm not sure how the two of you can resolve your conflict, but --

I've always loved purple, so it was natural to want to use this as my wedding color. I haven't done a lot of color-centered planning, at least until now since I've gotten to the florist-hunting stage.

Anyway, I'm trying to use a lot of green and white with my purples so that it's not too intense and so it looks a little more organic and 'gardeny.' I spoke with a florist yesterday who suggested whites and greens for the ceremony (with my purple bouquet) - and since the bridesmaids will wear purple I'll give them white, contrasting bouquets. Then I'll bring purple into the centerpieces, without making absolutely everything that color (linens are white, etc).

I understand your fear that white and green will blend in with the surroundings outside, and I don't really know how to resolve that. But I think there is room for compromise between the two of you - I've seen some absolutely lovely purple and green flower arrangements that are not mardi-gras at all!

 

[Allison D.]

Could it be, too, that he''s worried that the color scheme will somehow translate to him having some wardrobe attire in purple, too?

 

[rockzilla]

Allison - thanks, but the dresses are already purchased. He is not crazy about the color, and said so when we chose them, but honestly finding another dress/color that 5 girls can agree on wasn't going to happen at that point.

PS Yeah, I did mention to him that the jcrew ties come in the same plum color - but I am totally OK with just regular black ties.

 

[buttercup80]

Date: 10/24/2008 5:41:28 PM
Author: TheBigT
I understand your fear that white and green will blend in with the surroundings outside, and I don''t really know how to resolve that. But I think there is room for compromise between the two of you - I''ve seen some absolutely lovely purple and green flower arrangements that are not mardi-gras at all!

Ditto - use both. . . maybe those gorgeous purple runners with green and white flowers? I''m a purple girl, too!

 

[Sha]

I think you can incorporate both those colours in your colour scheme ..... it doesn''t have be one or the other. How about plum, sage green, and ivory/cream, with chocolate brown accents? Or lime green, scarlet, and white? I think those colours would look nice together.

 

[swingirl]

I love the green. It is so calming. But I think you can combine the two color palettes without it looking like Easter or Mardi Gras. As far as the invitations maybe you ought to stick to very subtle color usage. The purple is quit powerful. I also think it''s a bit more feminine than greens. Purple flowers have green leaves so the combo works in nature!

You''ll both be happier if you come to some compromise.

 

[kittybean]

Rockzilla, what about flowers like this? I''m using green and dark purple in my wedding, and I think they go beautifully together.

 

[neatfreak]

What about chocolate brown, the light green, and plum as colors? You could use the plum as accents, and I think the brown would pull it all together. Picture your tablescape with a green runner or green flowers. I think that would look nice.

 

[Nocturnius]

I don't think it'll look like Mardi Gras if you do it correctly.

A general rule, if the colors appear together in nature, they probably work together. Green and purple go together in nature all the time. Don't make some tables in purple and some in green - consider light green tablecloths and deep, rich purple centerpieces. Or vice versa - nice purple cloths with those lovely green cymbidium orchids for centerpieces.

It works in the wedding party, too. Do purple for the ladies, then green for the gentlemen. They would look lovely together, honestly, and far more interesting than monochromatic green or purple.

Compromise - it's only colors, is it really worth arguing over? I don't really see why "someone has to win". Competing with each other with the intention of one party "winning" and one "losing" is not a good way to approach a wedding.

 

[neatfreak]

Here are some montages with purple and green, I really like them!

 

[neatfreak]

Another...

 

[neatfreak]

And the last one...

 

[Gypsy]

I''d use purple as an accent. I love the bouquet you''ve chosen. Keep it. And the BM dresses. Have everything else be green and white with purple accents. The BM''s bouquets would look great with Green and White and just a couple of violet accents in them. The paper couldl have purple, and the favors... just use it as an accent everywhere else. Green and purples go REALLY well together, especially if you are using such a saturated shade of purple (which I love)-- as Neatfreak has demonstrated.

 

[diamondfan]

I think I like his colors overall better, since I am not a huge purple fan, but I love the way you put it together. Hard call, I love your way you did it, and it looks great togther, but his is subtle and I love it.

 

[CDNinNYC]

I think you can make green, white, purple, and brown work together. Maybe something like this?

 

[mjso]

I have the perfect solution....you can marry my FI!

I''m having trouble fitting his strong desire for purple into my color scheme of blue/green (we''re getting married on the beach and I love both blue and green).

I almost died when he said he wanted purple as a wedding color. Now I''m looking into plum bridesmaid dresses and feeling like I''m losing my blue/green ocean theme

 

[diamondfan]

I am doing brown, white, apple green and turquoise. I think you CAN make it work. It will look great. I am not the biggest bright purple fan, but plum and green are gorgeous, it has an almost vineyard feel to it.

 

[Rhea]

We did purple and green. Our colours were similar to what someone posted above. I think the flowers Kittybean posted are a great way to combine the two colours.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

I totally agree with everything said on here. I think the green and white would be lovely with purple accents. Keep the BM dresses and put green/white flowers with them. And keep your beautiful purple bouquet from the picture. Just like what BigT said. I also love neatfreak''s post with ideas and her posts with picture ideas to bring purple and green together - I think that''s a perfect blend of deep color and green to liven it up. I think the green even adds more than just the all purple/brown theme (though it is still very lovely

).

Give the guys whatever color accents you think work best to pull it together (a purple flower with greenery?). And the reception would look great with green runners and purple centerpieces. I love kittybean''s flower picture too.

Hehe and if you just don''t like the combination, I vote for rock paper scissors too!

But in all honesty, I do think both themes are great and the purple is so rich that it would just make his theme even lovelier. Let us know what you choose!

 

[FacetFire]

Would he be open to plum and navy? That wouldn''t be too far off from your plum and purple, but it would add some masculinity to it.

 

[Shoopy]

Plum and green look so beautiful together. Why not that color scheme?

 

[honey22]

Ditto neatfreak - I think the purple and green can really work together if you use the colours wisely.

 

[cdt1101]

BlushingBride used purple and green and I LOVED the way her pictures looked!

Her''s a link to her wedding pics

http://www.pricescope.com/forum/op-requested/blushingbrides-pro-wedding-pics-t69578.html

this thread show''s some of her centerpieces. I personally think these would look stunning w/ plum linens. Just my opinion though

http://www.pricescope.com/forum/op-requested/back-from-maui-i-m-a-mrs-pics-t69244-30.html

blushingbride I hope you don''t mind me posting your treads!!!

 

[emeraldlover1]

Thanks guys, this is my color scheme! We are doing dark purple, light green, white, brown, and a tiny bit of orange. The girls dresses are purple along with some of the flowers but almost everything else is brown and green. I wanted a clean mondern look with a hint of color! I say use both.