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Collegial Workplace Relationship?

DrCocoChanel

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2017
Messages
94
Hi PSers,

I work in a large medical center and have to recredential every 2 years since I have a license as a healthcare provider. Last Spring, I was contacted directly by the Head of Credentialing by phone with a few minor application questions (confirmation of home phone, and they needed my updated CV). I didn’t think much of it at the time but wondered why his staff hadn’t reached out by e-mail or phone.

Fast forward to last month, when I was approached by a middle aged guy in the hallway who knew my name and introduced himself as the Chief of Credentialing. He said he recognized me from my email signature in Outlook (which has employee ID photos attached) although I was wearing a mask. He then rapid fire asked me if I would like to serve on the Credentialing Committee which reviews staff applications and reappointments. I was taken aback since we had no personal relationship at the time but he said several members had retired and they were “desperate” for assistance. The other members of the committee are very senior and hold high positions in the hospital so I was a bit intimidated frankly as I’m junior staff. I told him I’d think it over and eventually agreed since I would like to take on leadership roles and it would look good on my CV.

Since this time we have had more frequent interactions and he is always cheerful and pleasant. Often, I have to pick up packets of applications in his office or he picks them up from mine. He maintains professional conversation but I often get the feeling he would like to linger or extend our conversations. Today, I saw him wandering outside my office (I have a glass office but can see the corridor outside) and then we bumped into each other in the hallway outside my office and he mentioned he had more applications for me to pick up. When I stopped by he brought the paperwork out and then presented me with a couple different types of candy bars “as a thank you for your hard work”. He seemed very nervous and then dropped them as I was grabbing one of the bars.

I understand that he is appreciative that I’m helping his office out. He simply may be a genuinely nice person. There have been no red flags but sometimes I’m curious about the situation and this relationship that he essentially curated.

Has anyone else experienced a similar dynamic? I just feel like for someone in a leadership position he is a bit familiar but perhaps that’s because I’m used to a very sterile and professional work environment. Perhaps I’m just reading into the situation too much? What do y’all think? Appreciate your thoughts.
 

nala

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
5,294
I can infer that YOU seem to be sensing ulterior motives in his treatment of you. But based on the actions that you describe, I do not share your suspicion. But if your gut perceives his behavior as flirtations or pretexts to spend more time with you—go with your gut and respond accordingly. Or perhaps you can characterize for us the behaviors that lead you to FEEL that he wants to extend your conversations.
 

DrCocoChanel

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2017
Messages
94
Nala, that’s a fair point. He could have his staff pick up paperwork but he specifically goes out his way to come to my office. After a minute or 2 of chatting he will stand there looking at me expecting me to carry on the conversation when I have other items to attend to. Perhaps I’m just antisocial lol. I also find it odd that I got such an offer from leadership out of the blue honestly, perhaps it is just desperation, but my organization is very bureaucratic and these roles often go to people who have been there for years with extensive networking experience and connections. I’ve only been there for 2 years Perhaps it was just lucky timing for me. Thanks.
 
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MMtwo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
2,643
Hi PSers,

I work in a large medical center and have to recredential every 2 years since I have a license as a healthcare provider. Last Spring, I was contacted directly by the Head of Credentialing by phone with a few minor application questions (confirmation of home phone, and they needed my updated CV). I didn’t think much of it at the time but wondered why his staff hadn’t reached out by e-mail or phone.

Fast forward to last month, when I was approached by a middle aged guy in the hallway who knew my name and introduced himself as the Chief of Credentialing. He said he recognized me from my email signature in Outlook (which has employee ID photos attached) although I was wearing a mask. He then rapid fire asked me if I would like to serve on the Credentialing Committee which reviews staff applications and reappointments. I was taken aback since we had no personal relationship at the time but he said several members had retired and they were “desperate” for assistance. The other members of the committee are very senior and hold high positions in the hospital so I was a bit intimidated frankly as I’m junior staff. I told him I’d think it over and eventually agreed since I would like to take on leadership roles and it would look good on my CV.

Since this time we have had more frequent interactions and he is always cheerful and pleasant. Often, I have to pick up packets of applications in his office or he picks them up from mine. He maintains professional conversation but I often get the feeling he would like to linger or extend our conversations. Today, I saw him wandering outside my office (I have a glass office but can see the corridor outside) and then we bumped into each other in the hallway outside my office and he mentioned he had more applications for me to pick up. When I stopped by he brought the paperwork out and then presented me with a couple different types of candy bars “as a thank you for your hard work”. He seemed very nervous and then dropped them as I was grabbing one of the bars.

I understand that he is appreciative that I’m helping his office out. He simply may be a genuinely nice person. There have been no red flags but sometimes I’m curious about the situation and this relationship that he essentially curated.

Has anyone else experienced a similar dynamic? I just feel like for someone in a leadership position he is a bit familiar but perhaps that’s because I’m used to a very sterile and professional work environment. Perhaps I’m just reading into the situation too much? What do y’all think? Appreciate your thoughts.

It seems a little odd, but he may just be a socially awkward person. That, or he is either intimidated by you, or possibly finds you attractive? Just grasping at straws. In any event, unless he follows you to your car one lonely night or shows up at your house at 10:30 one evening with flowers and a bottle of wine... you may never know.

If he's interested, he'll let you know by dropping more candy bars on you, or some such ;-)
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
18,031
He brought you candy. He’s interested. I don’t think his offer of that position was coming from an unprofessional place...I think that when you have proximity, attraction, and a lot of time spent in the same place with someone it can lead to romantic feelings.
 

123ducklings

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
666
It’s always wise to be alert and follow your gut. From your description he sounds like an awkward but harmless coworker. As for the candy? It’s early November. I just sent my husband to work with a bag of leftover Halloween candy to give away.
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,838
What does seem clear is that this guy is giving you personal attention that you aren't comfortable with. So I think it's a good idea to come up with a strategy to shut it down before it gets more entrenched.

For example, as soon as the business discussion is done, turn your attention back to your work and keep it there. And if he brings you any more candy, tell him you're not eating candy but thanks for the thought, then turn immediately back to your work again. It might feel like you're being mean to him but if you don't want this personal connection then it seems you'll have to be polite but brisk with him until he gets the point.

One indirect way to discourage possible romantic interest is to wear an engagement ring to work for a while. If you do, come up with a "story" in case you get cornered with a question, but don't discuss your personal life or his in any detail.

Hopefully, he'll soon move on. Good luck and keep us posted!
 
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DrCocoChanel

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Mar 30, 2017
Messages
94
Nala, that’s a fair point. Thanks.
What does seem clear is that this guy is giving you personal attention that you aren't comfortable with. So I think it's a good idea to come up with a strategy to shut it down before it gets more entrenched.

For example, as soon as the business discussion is done, turn your attention back to your work and keep it there. And if he brings you any more candy, tell him you're not eating candy but thanks for the thought, then turn immediately back to your work again. It might feel like you're being mean to him but if you don't want this personal connection then it seems you'll have to be polite but brisk with him until he gets the point.

One indirect way to discourage possible romantic interest is to wear an engagement ring to work for a while. If you do, come up with a "story" in case you get cornered with a question, but don't discuss your personal life or his in any detail.

Hopefully, he'll soon move on. Good luck and keep us posted!

Thank you for the advice. I am married and wear my engagement ring and wedding band every day to work. I also have my wedding photo framed in my office right on my desk. He is married as well. So that makes the situation more odd to me. I should have said thanks my husband will love this candy but I didn’t have time to react!
 

caf

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 26, 2013
Messages
1,410
How does he act with other women? Men? How old is he? Is he trying to mentor you? He may just be awkward. Have you gotten attention from other superiors? ( you said you have in the give us your cv call) You’ve noted an aging group of superiors. You probably are a star and they want to see how you perform in management committees. He may be trying to develop a personal relationship with you to see if you are a good management fit for the hospital.

On the other hand, he could be a creeper. How do others react to him on your committee? Is he respected, dismissed, etc? If he’s a creeper you’re not the first he’s creeped on. So watch how others interact with him. Particularly women.

I wouldn’t mention your husband. Unless and until you know he’s being inappropriate, just watch what’s going on. If you feel unsafe you’ll have to decide how to handle. But I lean towards (without more) that he’s either appointed or self appointed to bring you along and assess your leadership skills.

just my perspective!
 

DrCocoChanel

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2017
Messages
94
How does he act with other women? Men? How old is he? Is he trying to mentor you? He may just be awkward. Have you gotten attention from other superiors? ( you said you have in the give us your cv call) You’ve noted an aging group of superiors. You probably are a star and they want to see how you perform in management committees. He may be trying to develop a personal relationship with you to see if you are a good management fit for the hospital.

On the other hand, he could be a creeper. How do others react to him on your committee? Is he respected, dismissed, etc? If he’s a creeper you’re not the first he’s creeped on. So watch how others interact with him. Particularly women.

I wouldn’t mention your husband. Unless and until you know he’s being inappropriate, just watch what’s going on. If you feel unsafe you’ll have to decide how to handle. But I lean towards (without more) that he’s either appointed or self appointed to bring you along and assess your leadership skills.

just my perspective!

Thanks caf, that’s a new perspective that I hadn’t considered. It’s hard for me to gauge his interactions with others because right now our center is on lock down status with only essential employees coming to work. His relationship with female staff in his office seems fine and professional but most of our encounters are just 1:1 for the time being. The committee meets only on an ad hoc basis so I don’t know what the dynamic is like. I’ve only been doing working with him for 2-3 weeks so it will take a while to gauge his relationships with others in the workplace.
 

caf

Brilliant_Rock
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@DrCocoChanel - not enough evidence then at this point (lawyer here). Or data. I’ve represented healthcare institutions in the past. Committees can be bases of power. I’d say the credentialing committee is a powerful committee, especially when you have to yank someone’s credentials. Knowing it’s only 2-3 weeks, I’d give it more time. But I’m leaning towards him trying to gain you as a strategic ally rather than putting the moves on you. People are so weird sometimes! Just continue to be independent and use your own judgment. Watch and wait (something doctors are trained to do, right?).
It sounds like you have good gut, are a critical thinker and observant. Continue to use those to your advantage. Best of luck!
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
9,701
Although ive never had a proffesional type job ive had superiors give me chocolate, biscuits and cake on numerous occasions
Ive always thought it was nice
And just innocently freindly, occasionally in appreciation, always just from the individual

I once had a job where i worked in close proximity to management, yet i had a lower level position. Sometimes they would talk to me about stuff maybe they shouldn't have but i think they just liked talking to me and im not a gossip so their secretes were safe with me

No one ever asked me out nor did i get preferential treatment and i was mindful to always know my place
but it was nice getting to know them as people not just as management
 

rainwood

Brilliant_Rock
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Messages
1,492
Women are socialized to be nice and to be polite, to think the best of everyone, and to rationalize away signs or clues. If your gut is telling you something about this man's behavior is off, trust that instinct and don't try to explain it away or use any of the advice here to explain it away. Your instincts are there to protect you. Then think about what you will do if he makes a move. You don't have to do anything else right now. Just think about what steps you would take if it happens. As they say, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. You don't want to be caught off-guard.
 

Matata

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
7,638
Women are socialized to be nice and to be polite, to think the best of everyone, and to rationalize away signs or clues. If your gut is telling you something about this man's behavior is off, trust that instinct and don't try to explain it away or use any of the advice here to explain it away.

@DrCocoChanel I'm a retired HR professional. Rainwood's advice is the best you could receive, please heed it. Document your interactions with him and keep it in a safe place. In the event his motives are improper you'll need the information for your HR Dept. if you have to pursue an official complaint.
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
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Maybe it was true that several members had retired and the committee (he) was desperate for assistance ... the pandemic has been strange for everyone and it may be that he was caught further off guard with committee responsibilities yet not a full quota of committee members ... he may be grateful you stepped up and are participating in a reliable professional way. Possibly he used to give chocolate to now-retired member(s), and still has some left in his desk drawer so is offering them to you. This is my hope anyway.

Still, I agree 100% with those who said trust your instincts, stay aware, and keep professional.
 

Austina

Ideal_Rock
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Women are socialized to be nice and to be polite, to think the best of everyone, and to rationalize away signs or clues. If your gut is telling you something about this man's behavior is off, trust that instinct and don't try to explain it away or use any of the advice here to explain it away. Your instincts are there to protect you. Then think about what you will do if he makes a move. You don't have to do anything else right now. Just think about what steps you would take if it happens. As they say, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. You don't want to be caught off-guard.

THIS ^. For fear of seeming impolite, we often ignore our instincts, and they are rarely ever wrong.
 

MillieLou

Shiny_Rock
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Feb 27, 2020
Messages
337
Women are socialized to be nice and to be polite, to think the best of everyone, and to rationalize away signs or clues. If your gut is telling you something about this man's behavior is off, trust that instinct and don't try to explain it away or use any of the advice here to explain it away. Your instincts are there to protect you. Then think about what you will do if he makes a move. You don't have to do anything else right now. Just think about what steps you would take if it happens. As they say, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. You don't want to be caught off-guard.

Agree, trust your instincts. I would add to this to maintain strict professional boundaries so there is no "misunderstanding" at his end. Don't answer contact outside your working hours. Keep communication through work email rather than personal phones etc, and ensure that emails are kept brief and impersonal. Don't talk to him about your personal life, or about his. Politely turn down further offers of candy etc "what a lovely thought, but I'm cutting down on junk food, thanks anyway." Repeat for whatever else he tries to offer you. End conversations firmly and get on with your work even if it seems he wants to linger. Brisk, pleasant, professional all the way.
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
8,354
Concur about trusting your own gut feel and instinct, and not to ignore it.

DK :))
 

seaurchin

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Thank you for the advice. I am married and wear my engagement ring and wedding band every day to work. I also have my wedding photo framed in my office right on my desk. He is married as well. So that makes the situation more odd to me. I should have said thanks my husband will love this candy but I didn’t have time to react!

You're quite welcome. Another random thought here, which could be way off (as all of this post hopefully is) but I've heard that sometimes married serial cheaters prefer married affair partners. Because then the affair partner has the same thing to lose- and may be more likely to "stay in their place" rather than cause trouble and disrupt the serial cheater's family life.

A couple of other thoughts: Once I had a supervisor who I thought was a little too friendly but it seemed to stop immediately after my husband happened to drop by to bring me something and the supervisor saw him. It, too, was in an early stage of little things I picked up on rather than any big evidence. (Though the supervisor did later get fired for having sex with another employee- in the building, caught on the security camera lol). A physical spousal presence might wake someone up from whatever ideas are forming in their mind, who knows.

Also, maybe you could get more information on this guy to possibly shed light. I've seen those things online where you can see various records on someone for a small fee. I think a lot of them are rip offs though, so I don't know. But it would be helpful to know if he's ever been accused of any crimes against women. Gah, I hate to even say that.

Speaking of worst case scenario, I've heard predators often try little pushy behaviors to see if a potential target tolerates it. And just in case, why not keep some pepper spray near if you're ever working late with him. Okay, I'll stop now because I'm even giving myself the creeps. Good luck and let us know how it goes. :)
 
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kipari

Ideal_Rock
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2,855
I'd like to echo the "trust your gut" sentiments.

And all the practical advice given ( keep it formal, professional and short, politely decline "gifts", keep short, trackable notes of any incident)...

I think having DH swing by is a good idea, too... Gives a face and more "reality" to your married status.

That said: even*if* the guy sees something in you (attracted to you, a prodigy employee, his potential successor, a " daughter and heir " type of person) : as long as his behavior is and stays objectively respectful, maybe he's genuinely a nice person and your "appreciation languages" (like love language for platonic relationships) don't overlap.


I absolutely hate that you even have to THINK ABOUT sh*t like that anymore.

A guy can and will live his life unfazed by all of this.
I think DH never even had to waste a thought about anything like that in his entire career!!!

I was very fortunate that I never needed to either. But I was very fortunate (worked in a few women only sme, had female bosses and then president and CEO was my direct superior, he appreciatesld me, everyone knew, no BS for me) .
I know that the majority of my friends weren't, though. Almost everyone had at least one experience in that vein.

My grandma and mom were /are surprised things haven't changed by now. You'd think we'd be over that by circa 2000 ...

*rant over*
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,266
Above all, trust your gut.

But if you’re looking for reasons to feel like he’s actually just a nice and awkward guy, some anecdotes:

My former female boss would give me chocolate as a “thanks, you’re doing great!” gesture.

And hilariously, my husband wanted to thank a coworker for helping him at work. He suggested to me that he get her a gift. He was thinking a Teddy bear. Wtf?! For a grown woman! Lol. I told DH that a teddy bear is what you give your high school girlfriend at the carnival. Not your coworker that you don’t want to date. DH was not interested her romantically - he is just really genuinely clueless when it comes to stuff like this. I told him to give her a Starbucks GC and a card. Ai yi yi.
 

Matata

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@DrCocoChanel -- It's standard practice for organizations to have a procedural manual that describes how committee members are chosen, by whom, length of appointment, and member duties/responsibilities. Does your organization have such a manual and, if so, did you receive one? It's unusual for someone to be approached the way you were which doesn't mean it was improper, just unusual.

Example from a hospital credentials procedure manual:

Section 1 Credentials Committee
1.1 Composition: The Credentials Committee shall consist of at least four (4) Active Members appointed by the President. The Credentials Committee must include at least one (1) Member from the Clinical Section of Medicine and one from the Clinical Section of Surgery. Members should be chosen because of their experience as medical leaders or their interest in learning the nuances of credentialing. The President will appoint one (1) Member as the Chair of the Credentials Committee. Members will be appointed for three (3) year terms with the initial terms staggered such that approximately one third (1/3) of the members will be appointed each year. The Chair will be appointed for a three-year (3) term. The Chair and members may be reappointed for additional terms without limit Any member of the Credentials Committee, including the Chair, may be relieved of his/her committee membership by a two-thirds (2/3) vote of the MEC. The Credentials Committee shall also include a member of the Board, who will serve in an ex-officio capacity. The Credentials Committee may also invite, at its discretion, additional ex-officio members, including representatives from Hospital administration and the Board, if it should believe such participation will further its ability to perform its duties.
 

DrCocoChanel

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 30, 2017
Messages
94
@DrCocoChanel -- It's standard practice for organizations to have a procedural manual that describes how committee members are chosen, by whom, length of appointment, and member duties/responsibilities. Does your organization have such a manual and, if so, did you receive one? It's unusual for someone to be approached the way you were which doesn't mean it was improper, just unusual.

Example from a hospital credentials procedure manual:

Section 1 Credentials Committee
1.1 Composition: The Credentials Committee shall consist of at least four (4) Active Members appointed by the President. The Credentials Committee must include at least one (1) Member from the Clinical Section of Medicine and one from the Clinical Section of Surgery. Members should be chosen because of their experience as medical leaders or their interest in learning the nuances of credentialing. The President will appoint one (1) Member as the Chair of the Credentials Committee. Members will be appointed for three (3) year terms with the initial terms staggered such that approximately one third (1/3) of the members will be appointed each year. The Chair will be appointed for a three-year (3) term. The Chair and members may be reappointed for additional terms without limit Any member of the Credentials Committee, including the Chair, may be relieved of his/her committee membership by a two-thirds (2/3) vote of the MEC. The Credentials Committee shall also include a member of the Board, who will serve in an ex-officio capacity. The Credentials Committee may also invite, at its discretion, additional ex-officio members, including representatives from Hospital administration and the Board, if it should believe such participation will further its ability to perform its duties.

Thanks Matata. I did not receive a procedural manual or document. Well after the fact, I received a letter signed by the CEO and Chair of the Credentials committee outlining the basic responsibilities of the position (ad hoc meetings and review of applications for initial appointment and reappointment) and that it would be a 3 year commitment. It is unclear who selected me or made a recommendation on my behalf. Everyone else on the committee is senior and I have never interacted with them.
 

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 11, 2006
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2,714
Hi,

At work professional relationships are important. That surely doesn't mean that we just say hello, and goodbye and thankyou. It seems you landed a nice position. I think, instead of imagining , bad motives to the fellow, you ought to think of him as an ally, as I suspect he would like you to be. I can't conceive of what it is you're afraid of. If the man should make a pass have a ready answer for him. You're not a schoolgirl anymore. Just say you are not interested if it happens. Nothing to fall apart
over.
Be aware, be ready with a reply, and don't act as if this man has done something wrong. Be yourself. It got you this position. Congratulations.

PS. In my observation of who gets promotions its those that have made good and warm working relationships.

Annette
 

DrCocoChanel

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Mar 30, 2017
Messages
94
Thank you all for your input. I agree that his behavior to date has been objectively harmless (albeit a bit awkward) and this may be his way of expressing appreciation. This is a relatively new experience and it will take some time to feel out the situation although I have my reservations. I agree with previous posters that I should keep our interactions brief, professional and remain alert if his attention or interest escalates. I’m not fearful of a pass being made per say (and I doubt it would reach that point), that’s an easy no. But I would like to have a successful working relationship as I serve on this committee. As a physician, I’m also used to very sterile (ie. no casual chatting, bringing each other food , hanging out in our offices) interactions with other male staff (mostly out of fear of sexual harassment claims or gossip that 2 doctors are carrying on an affair... it has happened) so while others in different work environments may perceive this as normal behavior, it is unusual for me.
 
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DrCocoChanel

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Mar 30, 2017
Messages
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Hey everyone, I thought I would give an update since my last post. I appreciate everyone’s input about my work situation and I have been mindful about keeping my interactions as brief and professional as I can with this individual. I generally see him 1-2 times per week although I had a lull over the holidays due to vacation so that was a nice reprieve.

The random chocolate giving continues - the last time I refused and said I was watching my diet. Generally things had been going smoothly until several weeks ago when he called my office after hours on a Friday night. It’s unusual since our clinical center has been a ghost town with COVID, only essential healthcare workers are physically on campus and most leave early on Fridays due to limited clinical volume. I have Business Skype forward missed calls to my e-mail - occasionally someone from the hospital will try my office overnight although I do have a work mobile. I didn’t recognize the number and there was no voicemail. I called the number back and it was my colleague asking if I was still at work as he had “paperwork for me to work on over the weekend”. I found it very odd because he generally has a set schedule and will e-mail or call early in the work day so that he can catch me in the office or I can swing by. I told him I had left for the evening and ended the conversation.

Since this time, he has developed the habit of contacting me very late in the day when I’m not expecting it. This is frustrating since I have a busy schedule and can’t always accommodate his last minute requests, as I’m either with patients or leaving for the day.

He has remained professional although he will try to break into banter from time to time which I try to avoid. I don’t think he is being flirtatious but he doesn’t seem to have a good sense of professional boundaries or respect for the fact that I have other work obligations and can’t just drop anything for him on a whim. I initially thought some of the late day calls were out of convenience because of the holidays but this seems to be his new set pattern.

Would it be rude to e-mail him and ask that we have a set time or window in which to pick up or exchange paperwork? I feel like it would be the best way to handle the situation and to set limits on no contact in the evenings, etc. More than anything I find his behaviors annoying and would feel more comfortable knowing exactly when he’s showing up on a scheduled basis.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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44,905
Hey everyone, I thought I would give an update since my last post. I appreciate everyone’s input about my work situation and I have been mindful about keeping my interactions as brief and professional as I can with this individual. I generally see him 1-2 times per week although I had a lull over the holidays due to vacation so that was a nice reprieve.

The random chocolate giving continues - the last time I refused and said I was watching my diet. Generally things had been going smoothly until several weeks ago when he called my office after hours on a Friday night. It’s unusual since our clinical center has been a ghost town with COVID, only essential healthcare workers are physically on campus and most leave early on Fridays due to limited clinical volume. I have Business Skype forward missed calls to my e-mail - occasionally someone from the hospital will try my office overnight although I do have a work mobile. I didn’t recognize the number and there was no voicemail. I called the number back and it was my colleague asking if I was still at work as he had “paperwork for me to work on over the weekend”. I found it very odd because he generally has a set schedule and will e-mail or call early in the work day so that he can catch me in the office or I can swing by. I told him I had left for the evening and ended the conversation.

Since this time, he has developed the habit of contacting me very late in the day when I’m not expecting it. This is frustrating since I have a busy schedule and can’t always accommodate his last minute requests, as I’m either with patients or leaving for the day.

He has remained professional although he will try to break into banter from time to time which I try to avoid. I don’t think he is being flirtatious but he doesn’t seem to have a good sense of professional boundaries or respect for the fact that I have other work obligations and can’t just drop anything for him on a whim. I initially thought some of the late day calls were out of convenience because of the holidays but this seems to be his new set pattern.

Would it be rude to e-mail him and ask that we have a set time or window in which to pick up or exchange paperwork? I feel like it would be the best way to handle the situation and to set limits on no contact in the evenings, etc. More than anything I find his behaviors annoying and would feel more comfortable knowing exactly when he’s showing up on a scheduled basis.

Could you set boundaries and just not answer his emails/phone calls outside of office hours? And respond to them later during appropriate office hours. I would (if you can) ignore all contact off hours and only respond during business hours. He will get the idea eventually. Setting boundaries and refusing to respond during evenings (after 5PM) and weekends and holidays for example.
 

dk168

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Could you set boundaries and just not answer his emails/phone calls outside of office hours? And respond to them later during appropriate office hours. I would (if you can) ignore all contact off hours and only respond during business hours. He will get the idea eventually. Setting boundaries and refusing to respond during evenings (after 5PM) and weekends and holidays for example.

+ 1 to this!

DK :))
 
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