Chin Up Ladies-Bf accidentally gave me some perspective

[SparkleIllinois]

So some of you know my story, bf has switched timelines on me a couple of times, all of my friends are engaged, i was feeling pretty sorry for myself for a while but have been trying my best to just let things develop on their own.

Well this weekend we were at a party and one of my bf''s friends girlfriends was complaining about how her bf is being slow with the ring process and she is getting frustrated and doesn''t understand what is taking so long. I didn''t want to take part in the convo because lord knows I''ve been enough stress on my bf and i''m trying really hard to stop that lol. So I got up and went to the bathroom.

On my way BACK i could hear them talking from around the corner so I tried to wait until they were done. My boyfriend didn''t know I was there and I heard him tell her.(this is paraphrased especially since i almost started crying halfway through listening)

"Listen, you KNOW he wants to marry you. You KNOW he is going to get the ring. So my advice to you is.... LET HIM. Just let him do this one thing. It has been drilled in the heads of guys that weddings are YOUR day and they''re about you, and that is totally fine with us. But knowing that, let us have this one thing. Have you ever spent 2 months of YOUR salary on something that you''re going to give to someone ELSE? Its not that easy.Guys have to share all the other stuff with everyone else. When the bride comes down the aisle, he sees her for the first time and its special but everybody else is seeing her at the same time. When he proposes, its HIM that gets to be the one to look into your eyes. He''s going to be the one to see that look on your face when you see the ring. This is his one thing. Let him do it."


Needless to say although he wasn''t aware that I was listening, he has managed to ASSURE that I will shut up about the engagement for the rest of this year, lol.

Just thought I''d share!

 

[TravelingGal]

I couldn''t agree with your bf more. A lot of gals here are constantly reminding others of that exact same thing, but it sure does hit closer to home when it''s out of the horse''s mouth. Well said.

 

[emilina22]

wow that makes me see things differently....you got a real good guy! thanks for sharing taht insight......i think i needed some of that right now

 

[whenharrymetsally]

Date: 4/23/2007 1:11:43 PM
Author:SparkleIllinois
So some of you know my story, bf has switched timelines on me a couple of times, all of my friends are engaged, i was feeling pretty sorry for myself for a while but have been trying my best to just let things develop on their own.

Well this weekend we were at a party and one of my bf''s friends girlfriends was complaining about how her bf is being slow with the ring process and she is getting frustrated and doesn''t understand what is taking so long. I didn''t want to take part in the convo because lord knows I''ve been enough stress on my bf and i''m trying really hard to stop that lol. So I got up and went to the bathroom.

On my way BACK i could hear them talking from around the corner so I tried to wait until they were done. My boyfriend didn''t know I was there and I heard him tell her.(this is paraphrased especially since i almost started crying halfway through listening)

''Listen, you KNOW he wants to marry you. You KNOW he is going to get the ring. So my advice to you is.... LET HIM. Just let him do this one thing. It has been drilled in the heads of guys that weddings are YOUR day and they''re about you, and that is totally fine with us. But knowing that, let us have this one thing. Have you ever spent 2 months of YOUR salary on something that you''re going to give to someone ELSE? Its not that easy.Guys have to share all the other stuff with everyone else. When the bride comes down the aisle, he sees her for the first time and its special but everybody else is seeing her at the same time. When he proposes, its HIM that gets to be the one to look into your eyes. He''s going to be the one to see that look on your face when you see the ring. This is his one thing. Let him do it.''


Needless to say although he wasn''t aware that I was listening, he has managed to ASSURE that I will shut up about the engagement for the rest of this year, lol.

Just thought I''d share!

Awww, that is soo sweet! Really does make you look at it from a different angle!!

 

[Pandora II]

Wow that is so lovely.

You must have been so happy - and relieved to hear that.

My FI spent all his time telling all our friends how marriage was a complete waste of time and so was getting engaged - he knew fine they were all reporting back and wanted to throw me off. I didn''t think he knew who I had asking him questions till he sent out the engagement email and addressed it directly to seven of them!

 

[DMBsGirl]

wow that is really sweet, i doubt my boyfriend thinks that way though

(can u tell i''m pissed off at him?)

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 4/23/2007 1:21:49 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I couldn''t agree with your bf more. A lot of gals here are constantly reminding others of that exact same thing, but it sure does hit closer to home when it''s out of the horse''s mouth. Well said.

ditto ladies! Let your men enjoy planning the proposal...it''ll be worth the wait trust me, mine was!

 

[SparkleIllinois]

Thanks guys! I just wanted to share because I know alot of us are in the same positions. I know my boyfriend is working on it but I was still expect everything to be done on MY time. Sometimes its hard to remember that just because the ring goes on MY finger doesn''t mean its all about me. Not worrying about it actually takes a HUGE weight off your shoulders! I''m feeling so great right now, ready to focus on my workout schedule and our upcoming mini vacation.

 

[berkley]

SparkleIllinois,

Your guy couldn''t have put it any better! I never really realized that perspective before! What a great guy he must be! It is so sweet that he would give his friend''s gf a pep talk about such an important and emotional thing, many of the guys we know are the "I''m a tough guy!!" type and I think it is very touching that you caught your guy showing a soft side of himself!!

BTW - I love that photo of the couple and the rock, is it of you two?

 

[gigglebuns1186]

oOOOOo! I needed to hear that thanks!

 

[BigSista]

He hit the nail right on. Getting engaged is not about just you, it''s about a decision in life he needs to make too. Keep in mind,you might be ready, but he might not be at this very moment. When he''s ready, he''ll do it, and pressuring a guy is like forcing him to do it prematurely which might lead to resentment down the road.
Don''t let it consume you, because if he is the one, he''ll do it when he''s ready. And ladies, guys hate pressure. Not only is it kinda immature, it shows insecurity on your part...so just hang on and be patient.

 

[surfgirl]

She''s right! When he''s ready, he''s really ready. I''ve been with my man for many years. So long in fact that most people assume we''ll never get married. He needed a lonnnng time to get ready for this. But once he had his epiphany and realized that''s what we should be doing, it was like BAM! Now he''s like "when are we eloping? When?!? Why not do it now? At the courthouse???" We were in a shop and he found a wedding band for himself and I wouldn''t buy it yet because I told him he cant wear it around the house before we''re married and he looked bummed. I swear, once they decide, men are like horses running back to the barn! Just relax and let him do it in his own way and time.