Cheater websites?

[Nomsdeplume]

There are a couple of these that have popped up over recent years. The concept is to warn women of potential love rats by exposing cheaters, liars and generally "bad apples".
Have any of you ever used a similar website to expose a cheater, or to check if a potential boyfriend is listed?
Do you think it''s a good idea or a bad idea and why?

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

lol... this is the first time i have heard of this - and it''s very disturbing!

i think if you don''t trust the man you are with, then you shouldn''t even be on this site... let alone a LIW.

i also think you shouldn''t believe everything you hear, just because it''s on the internet... what about the vindictive ex gf who wants to corrupt your current bf''s reputation? god knows there are many crazy ladies out there....

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Sounds like the perfect opportunity for a scorned, angry, psycho-ex to post false, damaging things about a guy on the internet- for all to see.

Honesty is the best policy in a relationship. I''d much rather ask a guy outright about his past then do a Google search, you know?

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 8/23/2009 2:12:47 PM
Author: PilsnPinkysMom
Sounds like the perfect opportunity for a scorned, angry, psycho-ex to post false, damaging things about a guy on the internet- for all to see.

Ditto.

I would NEVER do this. How would you feel if a scorned ex-boyfriend posted vile things about you? It reflects far more on the poster than who they''re posting about. Every relationship is different. It would be like asking for references from the last two girlfriends before entering a relationship, you know?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Are you talking about married/involved dating sites like Ashley Madison?

Or something just more along the lines of "Ladies: Beware of Marco!" I must admit - I haven''t dated in almost a decade so I''m not sure where one might find such a site?

 

[vc10um]

I''ll admit to googling my FF when we started dating...but hasn''t everyone done that???

However, I would never dream of starting or searching one of these "cheater" sites. I agree with the other ladies...sounds like a great way for a jilted ex to take revenge...

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/23/2009 6:11:49 PM
Author: vc10um
I''ll admit to googling my FF when we started dating...but hasn''t everyone done that???

However, I would never dream of starting or searching one of these ''cheater'' sites. I agree with the other ladies...sounds like a great way for a jilted ex to take revenge...

LOL! I met FI when we he was 18, so I never googled him... but I would definitely consider googling guys if I was in the dating market these days. My friends routinely check for criminal records, marriage/divorce records... anything that would be in the public records is fair game. And honesty, with some of the guys that my friends date...

they are smart to do this.

As far as a ''cheater'' site, I would take it with a grain of salt, but also not dismiss it. The company that you choose to keep reflects on you... so if you ended up on that site, either there is a reason (ie, cheating), or maybe you date unbalanced people... both of which offer different types of information to digest about someone. People with amicable break-ups aren''t likely to put you on blast like that on a site.

 

[CNOS128]

Sounds like a good way to drum up business for the lawyers who''ll be suing for defamation?

I think in one of my classes we discussed "Don''t date him" dot com, or something like that. It was fantastically horrifyingly fascinating.

I wouldn''t put much stock into whatever people said about someone on one of those sites. But at the same time, I probably wouldn''t date a guy who turned up on a site like that, either. Hmmm.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think you shouldn''t go looking for things you don''t want to find.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 8/23/2009 10:40:40 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I think you shouldn''t go looking for things you don''t want to find.

So you wouldn''t want to know your main squeeze was previously indicted for murder?

I have never peeked around on any of those sites, mostly because I don''t know of any. But if I were still in the dating pool and knew about them, I would look. It''s pretty easy to weed out the posts that are just bitter and the ones that ring true, especially if they involve authorities - just check your local paper after!

 

[monarch64]

I've heard of these sites. I checked out one a couple years ago just to see what it was about, but there was nothing on it that was of any interest to me. I think it was called manhater.com or something equally boring.

I will say this: I google everyone I go out with. Actually, I google men and women alike. It is amazing how much information you can find out about someone just by using the right search engines and terms.

ETA: and yes, I do think it's good to know exactly who you are dealing with. People can tell you ANYTHING they want, put up a false front, and if you're seeing someone you've met by happenstance, not through friends or whatever, how else can you verify they are who they tell you they are?

 

[D&T]

I''ve heard the reverse of this too. Actually there is a (maybe more) website that even helps people cheat on their SOs with those around your neighborhood

. But this is for another topic, and I heard it on our radio station here.

But totally with PilsnPinkysMom on this one

 

[KatM]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:00:41 PM
Author: TheBigT
Sounds like a good way to drum up business for the lawyers who'll be suing for defamation?

That's what I was thinking. Even if I dated a guy who was horrible and I wanted everyone to know it, there's no way I would put it in writing on a well known website. Just because it's true doesn't mean that they can't sue for defamation.


eta: LOOK what's been posted on the front page of one of those websites

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 8/23/2009 10:49:55 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 8/23/2009 10:40:40 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I think you shouldn''t go looking for things you don''t want to find.

So you wouldn''t want to know your main squeeze was previously indicted for murder?

I have never peeked around on any of those sites, mostly because I don''t know of any. But if I were still in the dating pool and knew about them, I would look. It''s pretty easy to weed out the posts that are just bitter and the ones that ring true, especially if they involve authorities - just check your local paper after!

Honestly, I think if someone was charged with murder they''d have a hard time keeping that quiet...I wouldn''t need to go to manhater.com to figure that out.

Maybe it''s just me, but I think people are entitled to have a past...and if they are good to me, treat me well...I won''t go hunting for dirt. I know I personally didn''t always treat my ex-boyfriends the best, and they very well could slander me...does that mean I''m a bad girlfriend or wife across the board? No. I guess I''m from the camp of "do onto others..." and I certianly wouldn''t appreciate my DH looking up my ex-boyfriends "reviews" of me as a partner. No thank you.