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carat (size) dilemma

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shanman99

Rough_Rock
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After doing some research, with a lot of help from Pricescope and this forum, I was pretty sure that I wanted an ideal cut (H&A), G-H, VS2-SI1, in around the .65 to .75 carat range, set in something similar to the attached picture (I hope that it isn''t against the rules to post it).

My dilemma comes down to this... I am a bit more traditional then my girlfriend, and definitely want to give a diamond ring, and I definitely want a round cut, but my girlfriend isn''t as in to the whole diamond thing (but her mother definitely is, and we all know we have to keep the mother happy as well!). Although the .7 ct isn''t huge, I am now wondering if it will be too big for her liking. I know that she would love the ring design that I have attached or something similar to it (which is shown with a 1 ct stone).

What would people suggest a good compromise between in size be?

Would a .5 ct - .6 ct look bad in the setting I have chosen?

I know the smaller I go the less important color and clarity are, so should I not worry about them as much if I do go smaller?



Ideas? Thanks!

ringdesigner.gif
 
Actually, with this type of setting, I actually prefer a smaller stone. If your GF really isn't into diamonds, you want the stone as low-set as possible. The other possibility is a bezel-set.

However, if that's a 1 carat in the picture, I suspect the .7 is actually not going to be too big. There'll be enough metal around it so the diamond won't pop as much. Does you GF have a political or moral reason to not want a diamond? If not, I suspect she'll get used to the .7 fairly quickly.
 
Hi Shan,

First of all, I really like that setting. Very elegant and graceful, yet substantial. The floating mounting almost looks like a tension setting from certain angles. Very cool...

As concerns your question, this is a very personal decision that will depend on you and your sweetie. My guess would be that unless she is actually against the idea of an engagement ring, she will love the gesture regardless of the size of the diamond. I'd be interested in hearing a bit more about what her actual attitudes about diamond rings are. Why do you say she "isn't as in to the whole diamond thing," anyway? Do you think there's a real risk of her having negative feelings about an engagement ring?

and I don't think it looks too big at all, and the Tiffany setting I chose is much lighter-weight than the setting you're considering. Look at the pic of the ring on her finger (ring size 4 3/4) in that thread to see how not "huge" it looks.

-Tim

[/u]
 
Wow that's the exact same dilema that I'm going thru (the diamond criteria, the girlfriend not into diamonds, the mother). When I read your post, I thought I had written it!

While I don't have a solution for you, it's good to know that someone else is in the same boat. :-) For me, instead of getting a 3/4 carat stone, I've decided to stay in the .60-.65 range (I find the price/carat jumps quite a bit at .70). With the smaller stone I can afford a slightly better colour (E-F, colour is one C that she actually knows about). I'm also getting a Canadian stone (we're Canadian, after all).

I, too, am worried about pleasing her mother. I'm worried that she would only care about carat size and not about the importance of a good cut.

Keep us posted in what you end up doing. I'd be very intersted to know!

That's a very nice ring you've picked out. Like hest88 said, the .70ct stone will stick out less. You can also make the ring more narrow to make the setting look the same as the 1ct one.
 
Maybe I was just lucky, but I was a little shocked when reading some of the posts in this thread. Why do you care what the mother wants?!?! Find out your girlfriend wants and then stop asking people's opinons about what size is right. And if your girlfriend isn't into diamonds, don't let pressure from the mother make you get her one. No one says you HAVE to get a diamond to be engaged (ok, so Debeers does, but that doesn't count :P).
 
That setting is really beautiful!!!!!!
1.gif
. I think it will look very elegant and well proportioned with a 0.60-0.70ct in it... H&A diamonds are ALWAYS beautiful, no matter how small or big they are
9.gif
!!!

Giangi
 
Thanks for all of the quick replies.

Walnut, maybe this is a Canadian thing, we're Canadian also.

With regards to the gf not being all that into diamonds, it isn't politcal or moral reason. She is a bit stubborn and she used to have to be different. If everyone liked red, she had to like blue, just to be different. If everyone told her she had to read this or that book, or see this or that movie because it was so good, she would refuse to. She isn't quite like that anymore but still has a bit of that streak in her. I know that she would be very happy with a diamond engagment ring if it was right one, but I also know that she feels that diamonds are a bit extravagant and that too big of one is a waste of money. Which is why I don't want to go too big.

Lugus, I agree with what you are saying in that I shouldn't do what her mother wants. I shouldn't say this but I would take pleasure in seeing the mother unpleased... but my gf knows that her mother wants her to have a diamond ring (ie more about my gf keeping her mother happy then me pleasing her mother). Don't I know about what DeBeers likes to say, 3 of my close college friends work for them (I have a geology degree) and they all have developed the DeBeers corporate attitude.


So end of the day it comes down to this... I know that she would like a diamond ring as long as she doesn't think it is too extravagent. I think that I will look in .6-.69 range, making sure that I focus well on the other Cs. That way I can spend more money on her without her feeling it is as extravagent becuase it will be a smaller stone.

I will let you know what I finally settle on.

Thanks
 
Ah, I see now about the mother thing. Good luck in your search and keep us updated.
 
Hey Shan... What about a nice fancy color diamond??? It would be quite unusual!
 
The idea, if your GF doesn't like to follow the crowd, is to get her a diamond that few other people have seen. I know you want a traditional RB, but you're not marrying a traditional gal.

The Regent is a good choice, I think, since it seems to have superior light return for a fancy shape. Or something else equally different.
 
Hey,

Have you seen these?
http://www.mickyroof.com/mr_gai01.html

They are very differant - I don't know anyone with anything near similar to mine... which makes my ring unique.. even though it is a diamond. I too, hate to follow the crowd.
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I was not sure I wanted a diamond, either. Again - too extravagant. So we kept it small. My stone is a really nice H&A under .70 carats. It sits so that the stone is just slightly larger (wider?) than the mount (mine is the TR-004-1 in gold). Not to flashy... but nice enough to show off to anyone I might want to impress. I might try and post a picture, if you are interested.

Good luck with your search.
 
Just to throw in a different opinion: My girlfriend didn't like the idea of a diamond engagement ring that much either. Until I gave her the engagement ring. Now she LOVES it. I can appreciate that people have different preferences. Just realize that those preferences aren't set in stone and that a lot of things change pre- and post- engagement.
 
Hi Shanman ... I like the idea of getting a colored diamond .. that way you are getting a diamond but really giving her something different. Pinks are popular right now, I've seen some beautiful yellow ones too!
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As for size, definitely do what you think will make her happy, though I suspect that if you got the .70, she wouldn't be complaning!!!!
 
It may look huge to her at first, but in a short time she will be accustomed to seeing it on her finger. The fact you are giving it this much thought is great! You could always go smaller but higher color and clarity. That's what I did and I don't regret it one bit.
 
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I know that she would be very happy with a diamond engagment ring if it was right one, but I also know that she feels that diamonds are a bit extravagant and that too big of one is a waste of money.
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Shanman, have you thought about forgetting the diamond altogether and getting her a ruby or sapphire instead? If she's that much of a maverick, she might like the idea. You can get a very nice colored stone for what the average 0.50-0.70 ct diamond is going to cost.
 
If Momma ain't happy - then no one is happy
So my advice to you....
Please the Mom and you please the bride
And the winner will be you!
 
I agree..get what your gf will want, and don't start the precedence of having to please the MIL. Many women's moms like to be in the thick of the whole engagement/wedding thing...they need to realize when it's time to back away just a bit!
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You mentioned in your original posting that you were wondering if going small on the stone meant forgoing some quality or clarity, etc. I would advise a big NO. If you were going to have the budget for a 1c good cut I SI..now you have that same budget for an excellent cut .70 F VS1/2 or similar. I would also not skimp on the cut, it is what will make or break the stone.

So just because the diamond is a bit smaller than the typical 1c, don't get too loose on the color and clarity grading...I would use this opp to buy her an even better stone than you could have if the ctw was larger..she will appreciate not having a 'maul' stone like many other women. Esp since it sounds like she doesn't like the 'norm'. Telling her you got her a superb H&A or similar and that it equals 5% or less of the stones out there will most likely tickle her pink.

Good luck!!
 
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