Who Calling Kaleigh.........

[Kaleigh]

BrightSpot,
That''s so sweet. Thanks, and I so enjoy our talks. I think I am just as excited about your ring as you are!!!!

 

[Rockchick]

Kalleigh,

What an inspiring story you just shared with us! What a strong woman and wonderful mother

you are. I’m sorry to hear about your brother, but I agree with you, he is here with you.
In your posts you are always such a very sweet person, thanks so much for sharing your story!

 

[Kaleigh]

Thanks Rockchick.

 

[Kaleigh]

I just wanted to thank hlmr, Heather for her kind words. They meant a lot to me!!! Thanks and I look forward to getting to know you better.

 

[hlmr]

Thanks kaleigh - You are too kind

I look forward to getting to know you better too!

Heather

 

[Maxine]

Hi Kaleigh....came in to turn off the computer and came across this thread .....it''s neat to hear your story....I ditto what has been said....you are helpful and kind to all on PS (and I had a good laugh about the comment that I was having having twins....that was too funny!!!!!!)

Glad you are here!!!!

 

[s95]

Date: 6/30/2005 10:46:42 PM
Author: kaleigh
mrssalvo, it has been my pleasure and I do remember your first PM to me. I love chatting with you, that''s what I love about PS. You get to meet such wonderful people like yourself!!!!!

Lisa and mrssalvo,
I, too appreciate your helpful spirit and kindness! It was you TWO who PM''d me within a couple days of each other to offer your support and advice.

Lisa, thank you for sharing such an inspiring story. Your kindness and gentle spirit shows through in your posts and communications with me and others. I wish you and your family well and am challenged by your post to further foster the kind of relationship and love with my own son that you have with your children. It''s so refreshing to hear of teenagers who love their parents AND aren''t afraid to say it.

 

[Kaleigh]

Thanks s95, that was very nice of you. I love the new setting that you picked out and think it will look great with your new stone. I''m having a nice time in Nantucket and am heading outto brunch with friends.
Lisa

 

[icekid]

i need to check in over here more often! i always forget

but kaleigh! you sound like a remarkable woman, and an amazing mother. what a sad story about your brother. i''m glad that you were be able to be there for him in a way that your parents were not. you make PS (and Philadelphia, no doubt!) a better place

(also, i loooove your ring

)

 

[Kaleigh]

Thanks icekid, you're my fellow Philly PS gal. We should meet for lunch sometime and check out jewelers row for fun!!!!

 

[icekid]

Date: 7/3/2005 5:09:59 PM
Author: kaleigh
Thanks icekid, you''re my fellow Philly PS gal. We should me for lunch sometime and check out jewelers row for fun!!!!

definitely! i should be getting my ring soon (hurry up bf!!!), so we''ll have to do lunch after that so you can see my new ring hehe

 

[Kaleigh]

That''s great we''ll do it once you get you''re ring. That will be so much fun!!!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Just wanted to say thanks Maxine, I missed your comment, sorry. Ok what did I say about the twins?? Oh was it that you said that you were expecting them any time and I said oh you're having twins?? And you were like no, my kids are coming to visit any time now?? Is that close???

 

[solange]

Kaleigh-

You are truly a survivor and have succeeded where others might have fallen.

I can identify with you because my mother was paranoid schitzophrenic(spelling?) and was institutionalized many times. However, she could act very normal at times and could do very destructive things. My father was a gambler and could get violent when my mother acted up when he had no money to pay the bills. Often the police had to be summoned. (In a previous post, i described how she ruiined my wedding).

I "survived" but have been in therapy on and off for many years. I have been married to a wonderful man for many years and have two sons. We are well off financially but we have had some terrible illnesses in the family recently. I do not think I am as strong as you. You seem to have a great attitude and I really admire you for your wisdom and way of handling adversity without bitterness.

I have a brother but never see him--by his choice. He was a genius and a world famous art dealer when he was in his 30''s. Now he is burned out. He is bi-polar and has had several marriages. He is a product of our environment. I guess I was lucky enough to pull through in my own way with help from my husband but it is very difficult.

You are amazing and I can understand how hard it is to make such a good life for yourself after all you have been through.

 

[Leanne]

To all of you who have had a burden to bear, a tear to cry, a dying loved ones hand to hold......this is for all of us.....

 

[Kaleigh]

Wow solange, you''ve been through quite a lot. That''s too bad about your brother. You sound like you made it through all of it and are a better person for it. I too have a wonderful husband and he''s been very supportive.

Leanne, Thanks!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

I lost a very dear friend to cancer 2 years ago. He and his partner lived next door to me and when they moved in I thought, well there goes the neighborhood. In my mind at that time, anyone that was gay was going to die from aids. Since I had just lost my brother to the disease that was my thinking. Turned out that the brother I had just lost was in a way replaced by Wayne. We were 2 peas in a pod and we clicked the moment we met. He spent vacations with us and he and his partner came to stay with us in Nantucket. He got cancer and died a horrible death. Before he died he bought me a Tiffany diamond heart necklace because I always told him that he was my heart. I held his reception after his funeral at my club. This was one wish that he asked of me on his death bed. I wear the necklace every day. I am having dinner with his partner this Friday and he wants me to meet his new friend. I am happy that he has found someone new, but feel a little weird about it. They were together for 25 years. Any thoughts on how I should handle this. I want to meet his friend, but feel sad too????

 

[hlmr]

That''s a hard one kaleigh but I think you will feel okay after you meet his new partner. He obviously values and respects your opinion and wants you to carry on being a part of his new life. It may be awkward at first but life is for the living and being alone is not for everyone.

Hope that helps.

Heather

 

[sevens one]

I think it''s wonderful that he wants to include you in this next phase of his life.
Enjoy the night out- it must mean a great deal to him for you to meet his friend.

You''ll probably have yourself a new friend too.

 

[Kaleigh]

Thanks Heather and Nan. I do so want to meet his new friend. I feel honored that he wants for me to meet him. I know that I will like him from what I have heard about him. Guess I''m the one that needs to let it go. Thanks!!!!!!

 

[websailor]

Edited - Follow the good advice you are getting....go meet with them..

 

[Dancing Fire]

i think you should go meet his new friend to see if you''re comfortable,if not, then i wouldn''t go the next time.

 

[Kaleigh]

Websailor,
This has nothing to do with the sexuality of the couple. I was at a terrible time in my life having just lost my brother to aids. I had no problem with them moving in at all. I just knew in my heart at that time everyone was dying of aids and I was afraid if I liked them they would die too. You have to understand that, that was indeed my vantage point, right or wrong. We had a very great relationship that spanned some 10 years or so. So your reference somewhat perplexes me, but oh well.

 

[diamondfan]

Kayleigh, I know you are in a bind and had to lose your replacement brother, so bad after losing your brother so tragically. My only thought is, be happy his partner wants to include you in sharing some happiness...maybe since he found some now, lucky for him, and since you were such a special person to both of them, he maybe wants your blessing and "approval". It is hard to move on sometimes...my dad died a terrible death from cancer when I was 15. My mom was so lonely, and finally remarried when I was 22. I do not care for my step dad (he is really more her husband than a father figure to me). I always tried to balance my feelings of grief and loss, since I did want her to be able to be happy and she grieved a long time. (But I do not like him at all so that is tough!!!) Anyway, consider it a wonderful thing, and try to see past the pain...wish him well that this guy brings him some joy in his life!!! Good luck, and remember, as my mom (among others) always says, nothing good is easy in this life!

PS K and Ice Kid, I live outside of Philly too! PM me if you want to, I live near Lower Merion High School!

 

[Kaleigh]

Thanks diamondfan, and I am sorry for your loss as well. I am feeling better about this meeting and will embrace him as ------- new friend. I am really happy for him and know that Wayne would never want him to be alone. So I am excited now to find out about this new person in his life and will make a new friend. It's a little hard sometimes when you have lost a lot of people in your life like I have. You kinda just want to hold back some feelings cause you don't want to go through any more loss.

ETA: diamondfan you are like 5 minutes away from me, so lets get together and icekid is just in CC. PM me and we'll set a date!!!!

 

[belle]

no doubt this will be a difficult, if not uncomfortable situation. obviously you are very special to your friend and your opinion means a lot. put aside your feelings...not for your benefit, but for your friends. he has moved on and found someone to make his life complete. your acceptance and approval are part of the healing process.

 

[Mara]

it''s only natural to feel awkward at the thought of meeting this new individual when you and Wayne were so close. the positive thing here is that you can essentially speak for Wayne through knowing him so well....I bet your ''blessing'' or positive feelings towards his partner moving on would go a long way for all parties involved. I like to think that loved ones'' spirits are never far from us...I have no doubt you''ll make Wayne proud!

 

[Kaleigh]

belle and Mara,
Thanks for your advice. I am really looking forward to meeting this new person and know that I will keep my promise to Wayne in that I would look after his partner. It''s a new chapter, one that I am looking forward too. Thanks for the kind words.
Lisa

 

[diamondfan]

kaleigh, just noticed you are an ideal rock!!! you have lots of posts...you are amazing! I PM''d you if you have a chance to check in...I am watching some of my favorite late night tv...and raiding the fridge.

 

[BrightSpot]

kaleigh,

Yes, it is only natural to feel uncomfortable at the thought of meeting his new partner. Seeing him must remind you of so many memories of Wayne. I'm sure it's difficult to imagine him with anyone other than Wayne & also difficult to open yourself up to the possibility of caring for someone new...and possibly losing him.

But I agree that meeting him & his new bf could help both of you heal. Your approval & participation in the new phase of his life would mean a lot to him. Wayne would want both of you to be happy.

Have fun & let us know how it goes.