Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[anchor31]

Date: 12/16/2009 2:01:16 PM
Author: Mara
anchor so when she said she touched the head you mean through the sac? how did it feel? did the baby do anything?

Yes, she touched it through the membrane. She said she felt his/her hair. I was like "huh, my baby has hair?!" It''s just so abstract when it''s in the belly, you know? As for how it felt, I must admit it was really weird and extremely uncomfortable. The baby didn''t do anything though; the little peanut was asleep.

 

[Burk]

PB~I guess boy because it seems to be a boy boom for the most part!

Anchor~You''re so close!! So exciting!!

Meresal~LOVE the pics!!

Kimberly~You are so tiny and cute!

I just place a big order at diapers.com with a ton of diapers for both kiddos, wipes, and a few other odds and ends like pacifiers and diaper rash cream. They have free shipping, 10% off and $5 off for new customers (they give all the codes on their main page). I saved a ton so if anyone is looking to stock up pre-baby I would try them!

 

[Mara]

thanks for the heads up burk. i have a target gift card i want to use but i totally will be on diapers.com at some point!

speaking of stocking up... what do you stock in your ''changing table'' area... we don''t have a changing table and i don''t know that i will create an area for one (a lot of moms just said they changed baby wherever they were in the house or just in crib or bassinet)... but for the ''supplies''...what do you typically need? wipes, diapers, cream, do you have like qtips, cotton balls, that kind of thing too?

 

[Burk]

Mara~I just have a basket with diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream..it''s on her dresser in her room which has the changing pad on it but isn''t technically a changing table but I also stuck in there her lotion, a comb, and finger nail clippers for after bath time.

 

[ChinaCat]

Re: Rooming In: I didn''t have an opinion either way going in, but ended up wanting the nursery to take him the second night. I was exhausted and needed sleep. But I felt like such a bad momma for already wanting them to take the baby that I made DH call and ask!

Anyways, they bring the baby back in for feedings, which for me was like every 3 hours or less. I didn''t ask them to take him until late, so really he was only gone a few hours, but it gave me some much needed rest. Anyways, just wanted to point out that if you are BF, it''s not like the baby will be away from you for the whole night. So don''t be afraid to use the nursery if you want to, b/c when you get home it''s all you, all the time.

Holding baby- I was thrilled for people to hold him- partly b/c I held him all the time so it was nice to get a break, and partly b/c he was so cute and I wanted to show him off. You''ll see that esp moms that have older babies LOVE to hold newborns.

Registry Info- I think it''s only tacky to put registry info on wedding invites, but it''s not only ok to put it on shower invites, I think it''s inefficient and annoying not to.

Anchor- What a lovely thing to say! I am going to borrow that. Also, don''t stress too much about your dr not delivering your baby. My doctor went on a 2 week vacation right before my due date and I was worried about it. She did end up delivering O, but only b/c he was late. Anyways, don''t know how it is where you are, but with me the doctor only came at the beginning to check on me, and then at the very end when I was about to push him out. In fact, she almost didn''t get there in time and they were telling me to wait- which is IMPOSSIBLE- and also trying to introduce me to the dr on call in case my doc didn''t get there. I was like, I don''t care WHO is down there, just get someone down there to catch this baby!

Point being, barely noticed it was my doc that was there and it wouldn''t have made a difference. It''s all about the nurses for the most part.

Mara- Pretty much only need diapers and wipes near where you change him. I do have a basket with lotion, nose thing, Q-tips, etc., but it doesn''t need to be near the diaper changing area.

 

[Mara]

cool thanks ladies! hopefully at the hospital the nurses will show us how to clean & diaper him too.

 

[vespergirl]

Hi guys, I''ve finally decided to post a belly pic for the first time. I am 22 weeks right now, but I look as big as I did at 7 months last time around - I guess that you really do get much bigger faster with the second baby!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Re rooming in . . . we sent Claire to the nursery over night. Our clever girl timed it so that most of her poopy diapers were over night when the nurses were changing her! She did come back to feed every 2.5 to 3 hours, but at least I got more sleep than if I were the one worrying about burping her (well, I tried before the nurse came back), changing her, swaddling her, putting her in her bassinet, etc. But we also put Claire in her own room at 4 weeks, so we may have been more inclined to be separated from her over night than some parents. If you are planning to cosleep or have the baby in your room indefinitely, then you might want to just start that right away.

Re going out in the public . . . I haven''t taken Claire out shopping much (she''s 8 weeks) because it''s more convenient to run out to the store at night than to try to wrangle her and whatever I''m buying, but I certainly wouldn''t avoid it as a rule. You can''t control everything, and I realized that if I wait to visit my family (my siblings have 5 kids between them) until everyone is healthy, I''ll never get to see them. Claire is going to daycare in 6 weeks; I can''t stop her from being exposed to germs. I just have to hope she develops a healthy immune system.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 12/16/2009 3:21:18 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Anchor- What a lovely thing to say! I am going to borrow that. Also, don''t stress too much about your dr not delivering your baby. My doctor went on a 2 week vacation right before my due date and I was worried about it. She did end up delivering O, but only b/c he was late. Anyways, don''t know how it is where you are, but with me the doctor only came at the beginning to check on me, and then at the very end when I was about to push him out. In fact, she almost didn''t get there in time and they were telling me to wait- which is IMPOSSIBLE- and also trying to introduce me to the dr on call in case my doc didn''t get there. I was like, I don''t care WHO is down there, just get someone down there to catch this baby!

Point being, barely noticed it was my doc that was there and it wouldn''t have made a difference. It''s all about the nurses for the most part.

Thanks ChinaCat... I talked to my mom and that''s what she said too. By the end, I''ll probably be like: "I''m pushing this baby out, so somebody catch it. I don''t care who, just catch it!" lol

 

[ChinaCat]

Date: 12/16/2009 3:33:47 PM
Author: Mara
cool thanks ladies! hopefully at the hospital the nurses will show us how to clean & diaper him too.

Ha Mara! I think they did, but I have no memory of it. Such a fog at this point. I DO remember that DH did most of the diaper changes and swaddling the first few days/weeks and at one point I sort of panicked and made him show me how to do it b/c I realized I better learn! I remember thinking how on earth are they letting us go home with this baby, and how will I ever know what to do with him? But you do. And in the first few weeks, literally, it''s eat, poop, sleep so you can''t really screw it up.

 

[puffy]

anchor i am so jealous!! i think we are pretty close in are EDD, and last week i had no progress and baby was still pretty high. i go in for an appt tomorrow, so hopefully there is some sort of progress as i am ready to get baby out. but kinda hoping he''ll hang on until after christmas.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

I''m going to have to go with GIRL for PrettyBlues because I think after the end of January, we *need* some girls to balance all the boys.

About the changing "area" -- our area is the whole floor, lol. We keep the diapers on the shelf right above the washer/dryer, which is right off the living room. The package of wipes seems to have a mind of its own and ends up all over the place because we also use them to wipe faces/hands/etc. I keep diaper cream up on the same shelf with the diapers, but rarely use it.

Mara, believe me, it''s hard to mess up changing a baby. The only big thing to remember with a boy is to keep his equipment pointed down. My oldest actually peed in his own face a couple of times! The poopy diapers you''ll change the first couple of days are far nastier than most anything you''ll see again. Meconium is like tar so it takes quite a bit of work to get it off. YUCK!

 

[meresal]

Vesper- You look GREAT! Very cute belly!


Ohh boy, do I have an update. The first of "non baby shower" drama is rearing it's head...

M- Sister from my mom's previous marriage
D- Other preggo sister, from Dad's previous marriage
M2- Oldest sister, makes mountains out of ALL ant hills, also from Dad's previous marriage

I am an only child of my mom and dad, but D and M2 grew up with us, and not even living with their mom once they were in high school. My parents paid for all of their college, and any living expenses.
The only reason I point this out, is so that you realize it's not like my Mom has not been around. Their mom and my dad were divorced over 30 years ago, and my parents have been married for over 25.

Little background, D and I no longer live in our home town, so M, who does still live there, asked if we would like to have a small "get together shower" one weekend in January, so that we could do a mini family thing and invite a few friends. We both thought it was a great idea.

I planned on inviting my 3 closest friends, all of which were in my wedding and are friends themselves, and D was going to invite a few friends from college that she never sees.

Well, I get an email today from M with an update, and it has D's list of 10 friends and her MOM on it. Yes, my Dad's Ex. Then there is a part that says, and if these are ok with Meresal: It is a list of my Dad's side of the family cousins and our grandmother.

I immediately call my mom, because I was very confused to say the least, and she starts with a "sigh", which means she is not happy about the situation.

Apparently my sister M2 decided that their Mom should be invited, and then since she will have no one to talk to, she should be able to invite a friend. Then, from the looks of it, one of the cousins that is very close with D has said that she will come and my grandmother will most likely come as well since they can travel together.

Now, this means that we have to send invites to MY mom's mom, other grandmother, who WILL most definitely come, and then to all of those cousins, which there are 5 of. They will not come, but it is just the fact of the matter. The problem with my grandmother's coming, is that they do not just sit and relax. They will stay at my mom's house and they will stress her out the entire weekend. They wake up at 7, and from dawn until dusk they will use the phrase, "What shall we do now?" at least 25 times. So my mom, me, and M will bear the brunt of them. Not D, not the cousin, and most defintiely not M2 who swears these people need to be invited.

I am still only inviting my 3 best friends. I get really uncomfortable when I have different groups of friends in the same area, it stresses me out, and I was so excited for it to just be a low key event, with friends I never see.

My mom is irritated because she doesn't think that it is going to be fair to me and she really doesn't understand why their mom, my Dad's ex-wife, needs to be there, when it was only supposed to be friends in the first place.

At this point, the people over 50 will be my mom, their mom, and my grandmothers. It is just going to be VERY uncomfortable for them, and that was not the point of this shower.

Uggh. This should get interesting.

_________________________

Other than that, my only update is that I am still waiting to feel our lil'guy kick! I am 21 weeks today.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 12/16/2009 4:00:10 PM
Author: puffy
anchor i am so jealous!! i think we are pretty close in are EDD, and last week i had no progress and baby was still pretty high. i go in for an appt tomorrow, so hopefully there is some sort of progress as i am ready to get baby out. but kinda hoping he''ll hang on until after christmas.

According to the preggo in waiting list, your EDD is the 28th, right? Mine is the 30th, so yeah, we''re pretty close. Last week I didn''t have any progress either. I can''t wait for your update tomorrow!

 

[fieryred33143]

Mer

My advice: take yourself completely out of the planning for the shower. Give them a list of your invite and then step away. Make it clear that all communication about invites, food, gifts, whatever should be held between whoever is hosting. It isn''t fair to you that they are bringing this drama to your attention and the last thing you want is to be "in the know" with whatever drama is going on the day of your shower. You want to enjoy the event, it''ll be a celebration of you and your baby.

 

[taovandel]

Rooming In: We chose to have the baby taken to the nursery. They took him pretty late from us---and they brought him back in for breastfeeding---so he wasn''t really gone that long but we were able to catch a few hours of much needed sleep inbetween the feedings and the nurses checking in on us.

Wanting Doctor there: Trust me, the nurses are the ones you should be caring about. The nurses do everything, seriously. The Doctor comes in for like 2 seconds, catches the baby and gets all the credit! Now, if you have a more complicated birthing process then obviously the Dr would probably be more involved. But I would not have been able to keep pushing if it wasn''t for my fantastic nurses. I had a nurse stay past her scheduled shift because she wanted to make sure I didn''t wind up in a c-section (I had some minor problems with pushing---epi was too strong, baby was sideways, my pelvic bone tilts down, baby wouldn''t leave my right side of the uterus, etc). They were thrilled when I managed to deliver vaginally.

Our Recovery nurse was even more wonderful--they helped us with breastfeeding, and diapering the baby for us almost the entire time. They even showed my husband how to clean and diaper the baby and how to properly swaddle the baby (Even though that was useless for us as he hates to be swaddled now!).


As for messing up changing the baby--You can''t really mess it up at all. Other than what has already been suggested---make sure his penis is pointing downward and keep it covered until you are ready to swap the diaper out. Early on it has a mind of it''s own pretty much and he peed all over the place. Now at nearly 7 weeks he hasn''t done that in a while. Also when cleaning up poopy diapers---I was actually amazed by all the places the poop can get---make sure you move the testicles and get underneath them.

 

[Mara]

Mer I agree with Fiery.

I had two showers, one for family and one for friends. I split it this way because my Mom wanted her own thing and I had a friend who wanted to throw me one. I didn't want to deal with trying to coordinate OR make them work together, so I was like fine just have two.

Then they started asking me things. What colors I wanted. What cake I wanted. What to serve. Could I do this. Could I call so and so etc. I was like if you want to throw the shower, you need to be responsible for it. I'll supply the addresses. YES I am extremely grateful that I have generous people in my life but I didn't want to get involved with the minute details. I don't care about food and cake and all that. Whenever there are multiple people involved, the outcome is that you can't please everyone and SOMEONE is always unhappy with something.

ANYWAY...bottom line is that you should just tell them if they want to plan it then they need to MANAGE IT. All you should have to do is show up looking glowing, and enjoy yourself.

And it's hard but don't feel guilty for putting your foot down. You shouldn't be all stressed out at this point over something like a shower. I would rather not have one than deal with the drama. Good luck girl!

PB...I keep forgetting to respond but I say GIRL. Why not change it up for a bit.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 12/16/2009 5:44:01 PM
Author: fiery
Mer

My advice: take yourself completely out of the planning for the shower. Give them a list of your invite and then step away. Make it clear that all communication about invites, food, gifts, whatever should be held between whoever is hosting. It isn''t fair to you that they are bringing this drama to your attention and the last thing you want is to be ''in the know'' with whatever drama is going on the day of your shower. You want to enjoy the event, it''ll be a celebration of you and your baby.

Ditto this, Mer. Make it clear that the drama has nothing to do with you, as unfortunate as it is all is. (And honestly, who does this for a SHOWER? It''s supposed to be a fun happy time!) Hopefully when it comes around, it won''t be as bad as it seems now.

 

[qtiekiki]

PB - I am voting girl.

 

[emeraldlover1]

Hi all! I''m coming out of lurkdom to tell you all how helpful this thread and all the related pregnancy threads are. No, I''m not preggers however I still look forward to BPF''s as well as learning about pregnancy. I have a point, I promise. Recently, a dear friend of mine had a misscarrige. I never do well in these types of situations but all of the information that I have gathered from reading here, I believe made me a better listener and therefore a better friend.

So, thank you! And, congratulations to everyone who is lucky enough to have children and be pregnant. I look forward to the day (not for a year or two) when I can join you.

 

[KimberlyH]

Meresal, another echo of "tell them you don't want to be involved" and that includes your mom. There was some confusion about who was going to host my family shower (started as sister w/ help from my mom, 2 aunts said then they wanted to) and I got put in the middle. I told my mom I wanted nothing to do with the decision, that she needed to work it out, my job was to show up. A friend is throwing me a shower locally for coworkers and friends and all I'm doing is handing her a guest list of people she doesn't know, otherwise I'm out of it. This should be fun for you, not stressful, and your mom needs to help make it that way. My mom and I had a huge blowout the day of the shower we hosted for my sister regarding a guest issue and she had no clue, because it needed to be a great day for her and she shouldn't have been put in the position of knowing my mom and I were fighting.

PB, I'm calling girl.

Registry Info on Invites: I get the practicality, it just seems feels gift-grabby to me; havng a shower makes me uncomfortable too. I'm wierd, I know (especially considering it's the purpose of giving a shower!), I'm okay with it.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Re changing area vs. changing table: when we came home from the hospital, we had a Pack N Play with a changing attachment on the main level so I wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs too often (I had a C/S), but I just felt like it was gross that we were changing diapers right next to the dining room table (sometimes DH would place the dirty diaper on the table for a minute . . . ew). I wanted to have a place specified for that purpose. We also kept some of her outfits and things on the main level at first, but now it's all in her room.

I'm of the opinion that all the things we've created (people movers in the airport, escalators, etc.) don't do us any favors; we're sedentary enough. I mean, really, I can't climb like 20 stairs in the airport or make it to the third floor in a hotel? So now that I *can* go up and down stairs, I think it's good for me to take Claire upstairs every time I change her. It certainly won't kill me. We did put the Pack N Play in the basement, so we can change her down there if that's where we are.

Also, babies often really like changing tables. I think it's because the pad kind of wraps around their sides and makes them feel less like they're awkwardly lying on a hard, flat surface, which adults don't like, so why would babies? So you can have some nice moments with the baby lying there kicking like a little froggie. We've gotten the majority of Claire's smiles on the table. Even if you're not getting a changing table, I'd still recommend a changing pad that you can put on a table or dresser if you want. Tonight I sat next to Claire and let her kick around on the pad for 15 minutes because she was having so much fun.

Re Meresal's problem . . . is it normal for other people to dictate the guest list? I just gave my mom a list of whom to invite (actually, I had to design/order my own invitations since my mom is technology challenged, but she mailed them). I didn't even invite my MIL. Mer, if I were you, I'd just say, "I'm sorry, this is my shower and here's who I'd like there. Thanks!" It was at my FIL's house, but if his wife had said she wanted to invite her friends or family, I would have been like, "Say what?" I guess the upshot is that if random other people get invited, you'll get more presents!

 

[meresal]

Fiery, Mara, MP, and Kimberly- Thanks for the help! I will just let them know that whoever they want to invite is fine. I really just want to make sure that my friends are there and we have a great time, like you all said.

I had dinner with my girlfriends tonight and was telling them the story and they both busted out laughing. When one of the finally stopped, she explained that she can''t believe how this always happens to me. I am always looking forward to a low-key get together, and then they get blown so out of proportion. LOL.

Ohh, my highlight of the evenging:
We had girls night at the local italian joint, and I was the only one at the table that was still eating (Spaghetti Marinara with side salad and bread... this is a regular meal on the menu). I was taking my time, b/c the other girls were drinking wine, and if I rushed thru my food, I would be stuck sucking on ice cubes, with nothing to do while they finished their wine. Anyway, our waiter come from around the corner and exclaims in my direction, "You''re STILL eating?!"

I literally dropped my fork in shock and shoved my plates at his direction. A$$hat. My hormones kicked in, which means I sat quietly for a few minutes and when my lip started quivering I ran to the bathroom. I mean REALLY????

 

[noelwr]

mer -

you poor thing. what a meanie! waiter''s aren''t supposed to give comments like that.

 

[Puppmom]

Mer, you've had a rough week in terms of the comments and this shower business! I say you treat yourself to something nice.

 

[taovandel]

mer: what kind of tip did you leave?

PG: I agree on the changing pad--Evan loooooves to be changed. I also will leave him on the table because he loves it so much.

 

[lovelylulu]

vesper - you look fantastic. i need to start documenting my own belly. it''s definitely starting to "develop"

mer - yikes. ditto to whoever said do something nice for yourself and ignore the ridiculousness of others!! plus, i do now love the phrase a&&hat

pb - any update

 

[anchor31]

meresal - I agree with the others who advised to not get involved in the shower planning. Also, I think since your mother is the hostess, she has the right to say that she doesn''t want to entertain family for a weekend. As for the waiter... What''s up with people?? Idiot.

Re: changing areas. Someone lent us a pack-and-play with a changing attatchment so I''ll be using that with a changing pad. PG - lol at your hubby putting the diaper on the table sometimes... My MIL said the other day that she used to change her kids on the kitchen table, and I was like

. Some things just should not be done in the kitchen, IMO!

PB - How did your U/S go? We want to see pics!

 

[jcrow]

anyone else feel extremely full even after just eating the tiniest amount? it''s like i''m hungry so i''ll eat, then i feel yuck afterward. like i have so much pressure and expandingness in my tummy. last night i ate 2 chocolate chip cookies for dinner [no judging!!] and i felt so full + expanded afterward. i mean come on! from two cookies? and sometimes i''m thirsty, but i don''t want to even drink water because i''ll feel too full/yuck after. urgh. my stomach is the size of a freakin'' marble now.

 

[Puppmom]

Jcrow, I feel that way now and I''m not even 7 weeks! I think it''s because I''m really bloated. I''ll feel REALLY hungry then can''t seem to "fit" much food in my belly. I''m a fast eater so I usually pay for it...by the time my belly realizes that I''ve had too much, I''ve already swallowed ten more bites!

Today''s my viability ultrasound...I''m SO nervous! I''m a little queasy and my mouth is dry and my heart is racing. I just want good news SO bad.