Calling all PS thesis-tacklers, researchers, and students!

[stephbolt]

Thanks for the welcomes everyone!

AmberGretchen - thanks for the kind words. I would love to divert my attention for a while, but as my advisor is really on my back about this particular part of the project, I don''t think it''s an option. I was hoping the Christmas break would refocus me, but it seems to have made things worse because I feel behind now! I''m in lab today so hopefully I can get a little bit caught up. I do think that it might help to talk to some people in the department who are more biochemistry focused, thanks for the idea!

WishfulThinking - I get a lot of strange reactions when I tell people I''m in chemistry, it''s nice to have someone think it''s awesome.

My work specifically is looking at the way a particular metal (vanadium) behaves electronically in a variety of different environments. The main environment I''m looking at is a protein found in seaweed that has the metal in the active site. I use magnetic fields to study the electronics in depth (NMR for anyone who has done sciencey stuff - similar to how an MRI lets you look at the body but on a smaller scale for people who don''t have a science background.) Thanks for your thoughts, and I hope you are enjoying your time off!

Hi Elegant! Good work on researching topics. Getting started is the hardest part! Keep up the good work!

 

[AmberGretchen]

wishful - it sounds like you are definitely thinking about this the right way, and I''m sure you''ll be able to break through the perfectionist stuff and make progress. Fingers crossed big-time for the grades - let us know how they come back!!

elegant - so glad to hear you are making progress and feeling better about it - I''m sure you can do it, its just a question of refocusing your energy. I''m so glad you''re finding sub-areas that are interesting to you - that makes a huge difference.

steph - that sucks that you can''t refocus, but I hope that talking to others helps. If you can find someone with a little more experience (like a post-doc) who has done something similar, that can be incredibly helpful, in my experience. They are usually very happy to help out, and know all those little tweaks and secrets that can really help the experiment come out well. I really hope you are able to find someone who can help out.

 

[katamari]

Hi Everyone! And, welcome, Steph!

Not sure that there really is a solution to the grad school blues. It really just is a part of it--as are the peaks and valley of productivity. As long as you are meeting the goals you have for yourself (and those the department sets), you are doing fine! I often have to just push through the times I lose inspiration and throw myself into my work. Since I really do love what I do, I have always been able to rekindle but there are often weeks and sometimes months where I am just going through the motions.

AG: Congrats on all the drafts! Around my department, the word is that advisor expectations drop significantly once the job is secured. Not that I don't think you are capable of perfecting your dissertation (and will, of course), but I hope that your advisors continue to help you get through your defense without unhelpful demands. You certainly sound happy in your posts, and you are certainly an inspiration to me while I am struggling to the market and the defense.

Wishful, don't let the academic world get you down. We are all a bunch of pretentious specialists who think our work/theories/influences are vastly superior to all others. It took me awhile to see this as impersonal and start to see how I could use this in my work. Just see it as a challenge to show them my theorist X is really superior to theorist Y or whatever. (Ha! I say this like it is easy. . .).

Elegant: I am not necessarily good with finishing projects, but I am terribly good at starting them and finding a topic I can fall in love with (unfortunately to the point that I run off with it and abandon other topic, but. . .). The way that I do it is I come up with a general topic and then sit down with a bunch of articles. Instead of taking any notes on the findings or anything like that, I keep a journal of why I am interested in the article. I then do about 5-15 minutes of freewriting on the topic. After about a week of this, I am always able to find a research question I am enamored with. I know that finding a topic is very personal and often scary, but I am shocked at how well this works for me. Best of luck! It sounds like you are on the right track with motivation!

Like all grads, I have made several resolutions to really buckle down in the new year. I just read a bunch of productivity books over break (which, of course, were oddly used as an alternative to working on my dissertation). But, one thing I am going to do is keep a productivity journal and an avoidance journal. In the productivity journal, I will track accomplishments each day. (And, like a dork, I am giving myself different color star stickers based on the intensity of task which I will allow myself to trade in for "gifts" like a day off or a dinner out). For my avoidance journal, I am going to keep my weekly and monthly tasks with denotations for how many work sessions (of which I have three per day) that I avoid the task. This way, you can see the avoidance as it happens and hopefully address it. We'll see. . .

 

[WishfulThinking]

Elegant- Continued good luck! It sounds like you're making great initial progress!

Steph- Your research sounds very interesting! I am not very "science-y" and the way you explained it in lay terms was very helpful! I hope peoples' strange reactions are of shock and awe that you're doing something that most people find complex and difficult to understand because that's totally how I feel about chemistry.

If the reactions are more negative I totally understand that as well... it's part of the Gender Studies "thing," and something I hope I'll learn to ignore better as time goes on.

AmberGretchen- Thanks for the continued good luck! I do feel like I am breaking away from some very deep-rooted bad habits. I will use you as my inspiration, as it sounds like you are similar in terms of personality when it comes to this sort of thing, and you seem so very level-headed about everything.

katamari- Hi again! Good to see you around these parts. I will definitely try looking at it this way. I love what I do and secretly think I am going to influence the world... don't we all, sort of?

I always get ridiculously excited when one of my advisors or other professors point out that my thesis research is actually really valuable and my findings are actually interesting beyond my own little bubble. So much good luck keeping up with your resolutions! I would love to hear more about your productivity journal and avoidance journal. I unfortunately don't have time to read a book [lol!] but I have a couple of questions if it's not too annoying for you to answer. You say you have three work sessions per day- do those correspond to morning, afternoon, and night? So like three different periods when you could be working? I think I need to really step it up in terms of the time slots I am using to get my work done while I am on break. When I have classes breaking up my day I'm fine, but when it comes to getting out of bed and doing work in a less rigid environment I am lost. It seems I can only concentrate in the middle of the night, which is no good and limited time-wise. I am going to take some tips from you in terms of tracking my avoidance and progress better!


So it's Friday night and my goal to have done by right now was to organize and plan what I am going to do when I start writing after my little grade-discovering debacle on Monday.

I did it, though! I was up sick allllll night last night feeling just awful, and after vowing I would go to bed at a reasonable hour for once I couldn't sleep or lay down because I felt so nauseous, so I turned on my laptop, got out my books and other materials, and did a huuuuuuuge outline of my 2nd chapter! I am psyched because I got it done finally! I also realized today something I should have realized earlier, which is that I completed 1/3 of my thesis work in 4 months... and now I have to complete the other 2/3 in the next 3 weeks. *gulp* I need to get on it. I do think my progress so far is good, and I've sent out all of the deadlines to my advisors via email letting them know what's going on. But man... I have to step it up BIG TIME because if I blow this I won't get to progress to even be considered for the honors I covet so much.

BUT that will never happen!! Because I will be brilliant and somehow get it done! Positive reinforcement. Now just waiting for Monday with baited breath!

I hope you're all doing well, meeting all of your deadlines, and reaching for the stars, as usual.

 

[AmberGretchen]

katamari - I really hope you are right about the job lined up = lower expectations thing. I''ve heard that from people here at my University as well, and I''m just keeping my fingers crossed really hard that its true in my case...

I think your journals sound like a great idea - seeing it in writing always helps me get through stuff, and I think the rewards system sounds like an awesome way to motivate. You''ll have to keep us updated on how it works.

Wishful - I''m glad you got another chunk done. I know it seems like a lot of work, but the beginning is always the hardest part. I''m sure that you can bang out the other two chapters in these few weeks - remember that you had tons of distractions going on over those 4 months that you won''t have nearly as much of now.

I''m so flattered you find me inspiring - I think you''re right that we''re a lot alike. I think that one thing that I''ve learned about myself during grad school is that not only can I let go of perfectionism when I have to to get something done, I actually have to to make significant forward progress.

Speaking of which, after I got my draft back from my co-authors, there were so many colored comments I could barely see the text I had originally written

But I had to step back, realize they meant well and they know more about this than I do. So I spent a very long day today making all those additional changes (including a whole other figure

) and sent it out yet again - let''s hope this time it comes back with fewer comments and thus closer to publication...

 

[WishfulThinking]

Wheeeeee! Grades came back! I am a happy camper right now. Just thought I would share. Thanks for all the nice words and encouragement, everyone.

I am going to try to get major work done this week because I have a meeting with my advisor on Friday.

Good luck to all of you. I hope you''re continuing to do well!

 

[AmberGretchen]

WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome news Wishful - so glad those grades came back like you thought they would

Sadly, I have started the New Year on a less happy note - some cells that I was supposed to be able to get after New Year''s to do one of my final thesis experiments...well, it turns out they don''t exist and never did

So, I''m in a bit of a bind. There is one other person in the lab who might have cells that would be equivalent, but its a long shot and he''s not here today. So, I''m trying not to panic, but if anyone has any extra good dust, I''d appreciate you throwing a little my way

 

[WishfulThinking]

Thanks!! I am beyond psyched and trying not to let it damper my spirits that I am a dunce who fails at independent GPA calculations and there is no way I'll get magna honors even if I get perfect grades next semester [I held out hope I might, but I'll be .009 points below it... it's just SO close! Argh!]. HOWEVER, as part of my resolution I am going to stfu and get on with my life because I am going to graduate with an awesome gpa and hopefully thesis honors. And if I don't get my act together I won't have the thesis honors either! Petty complaints, sorry. Now that I've said it I think I can let go and move on.

I am SOOOO sorry about your cells, AmberGretchen! How rotten. They don't exist? So weird. I really hope the other cells come through for you. I will be sending dust, positive thoughts, and some cells your way-- if I can find some, that is.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Hehe - thanks wishful. Unfortunately the cells are from a different species, so yours wouldn''t do me much good

I know exactly where you are coming from on your undergrad grades - I also missed magna by a tiny margin, but graduated with a double major and also with thesis honors. It bothered me at the time and it still bothers me a tiny bit, but you are absolutely right in resolving to get on with it and finish what you need to do and most importantly, stay focused on the positive.

 

[Elegant]

katamari - Nice seeing you again! Thanks so much for the freewriting idea. I am horrible at freewriting. When I write, my goal is to write without having to go back to edit...I hate editing! I think I will try this method- it won''t hurt, that''s for sure. I also like your productivity journals...but I don''t know if I could do that. I have never been able to motivate myself that way. It is costing me $2000 each trimester whether or not I get anything done and I have school loans up the you know where - that still doesn''t motivate me! I just want to get it over with because I am so over it...thanks for the great ideas!

WishfulThinking - I also need to step up the time slots. The problem I have is working full time, coming home at about 4pm, needing to feed the dogs, feed me, relax a bit, and by that time I am so tired it is hard to work more than an hour a day - and that is pretty pathetic to me, but that is all I can handle. And like you, I work better at night - I start working on my dissertation at about 8pmish when I have energy. You have done a fabulous job - 1/3 in 4 months...that''s great! It is so hard to push through when you are sick. I have a laptop and I am noticing that it is much harder for me to work on my dissertation with such a tiny screen. I end up using my bf''s iMac that has a 24" display. It works better for me that way.

AmberGretchen - You gotta love the multi-colored feedback! I hope that went well. I don''t know what it is like to work on the scientific type of research projects, but it sounds more fun than mine! You are getting so much done!

Wow, everyone is progressing, that''s fantabulous!

Me, I have been working on mine every day. I think I took one day off. Today I need to work on it. I started work today and just felt numb and asleep all day long. Not sure why I feel so drained. I really need to work on it. I will after I finish this post. Carry on everyone, you guys are doing great!

 

[katamari]

Congrats on your grades, WishfulThinking! That is awesome!

Elegant, I cannot imagine working full time and also writing a dissertation. I think that the progress you are making is amazing. Do you have the budget to buy an inexpensive desktop for writing? I have to write on a desktop for some reason. For me, it is mainly mental, because I always goof on my laptop so when I get on it--poof, straight to PS or fb. Is there anyway you could arrange your job schedule so that you could have an hour or two writing break? That might be a good way to try to maximize your productivity.

AmberGretchen, TONS, TONS, TONS of cells dust to you! I certainly hope you are able to wrangle some up.

I have a conference deadline in a week and a grant application due in 35 days. I am submitting a chapter of my dissertation for both, so it is good that it got me writing, but I am not ready to put it out there yet and am in full-on panic mode. Eeek! I also just found out that one of my advisors got another job and will be leaving mid-summer. I am on schedule to finish in December and I have co-advisors, so this shouldn''t be too decimating to my career. But, I do really like my advisor and he is much more invested and hands-on (which I need) than my other advisor. Advisor2 is more in my area and we write together way more, but she doesn''t feel like my advisor as much as Advisor1 does. I know he will remain in contact and helpful, I just wish he was staying around. But, I am really happy for him. He got a fantastic job and it will look amazing for me to have a letter of recommendation from him (even though it already would have because he is a great scholar), so I am trying to keep everything in perspective.

 

[katamari]

Date: 1/3/2009 12:53:28 AM
Author: WishfulThinking
You say you have three work sessions per day- do those correspond to morning, afternoon, and night? So like three different periods when you could be working? I think I need to really step it up in terms of the time slots I am using to get my work done while I am on break. When I have classes breaking up my day I''m fine, but when it comes to getting out of bed and doing work in a less rigid environment I am lost. It seems I can only concentrate in the middle of the night, which is no good and limited time-wise. I am going to take some tips from you in terms of tracking my avoidance and progress better!

Of course. My sessions more correspond to what I have to do for the day. Like you, I find it easier to work on days I am on campus to teach. I teach two days a week from 3-5 and 6-8. One those days, I have a morning session where I do my demanding tasks--mainly writing--because I have the biggest chunk of time, and I use the period between class and after class to do all the "errand-y" stuff like responding to e-mails, grading, and the like. I find this to be best for me, because is so easy to sidetracked by the little stuff. I used to do it throughout the day, but I became much more efficient when I clustered it all together.

On the weekdays that I don''t teach, I have a morning, and evening, and a night block. I make sure to schedule a meeting or an errand in the afternoon to make sure I get up and get going. Like you, I also can''t get to work unless I have to. I also leave all my errand-y stuff here for the evening block so that I can do it over some decompression, if I need to. I try to do this on the weekend, too. But, I often only get about 10-12 hours of work in over the weekend, so I either do 3 long blocks one day or more shorter ones across the weekend.

I''m not sure this is the best way, but it does work for me. But, the best method, sadly, is just being out-of-my-mind busy. It isn''t hard to work 80 hours a week when you have to; it just sucks.

 

[AmberGretchen]

OK, just a little drive-by update - I found at least half the cells I need for my experiment, and started it today, woohoo!! (well, sort of - I hate doing experiments but this needs to get done, so I think its still positive on balance

).

Fingers crossed the experiment works - I should know by Monday at the latest.

 

[Elegant]

Date: 1/7/2009 6:02:09 PM
Author: katamari
Congrats on your grades, WishfulThinking! That is awesome!

Elegant, I cannot imagine working full time and also writing a dissertation. I think that the progress you are making is amazing. Do you have the budget to buy an inexpensive desktop for writing? I have to write on a desktop for some reason. For me, it is mainly mental, because I always goof on my laptop so when I get on it--poof, straight to PS or fb. Is there anyway you could arrange your job schedule so that you could have an hour or two writing break? That might be a good way to try to maximize your productivity.

AmberGretchen, TONS, TONS, TONS of cells dust to you! I certainly hope you are able to wrangle some up.

I have a conference deadline in a week and a grant application due in 35 days. I am submitting a chapter of my dissertation for both, so it is good that it got me writing, but I am not ready to put it out there yet and am in full-on panic mode. Eeek! I also just found out that one of my advisors got another job and will be leaving mid-summer. I am on schedule to finish in December and I have co-advisors, so this shouldn''t be too decimating to my career. But, I do really like my advisor and he is much more invested and hands-on (which I need) than my other advisor. Advisor2 is more in my area and we write together way more, but she doesn''t feel like my advisor as much as Advisor1 does. I know he will remain in contact and helpful, I just wish he was staying around. But, I am really happy for him. He got a fantastic job and it will look amazing for me to have a letter of recommendation from him (even though it already would have because he is a great scholar), so I am trying to keep everything in perspective.

Yeah, I am using my bf''s iMac and that is helping me quite a lot. He takes my lap top and watches tv on the couch while I work on my dissertation on his computer.

Congrats on getting so much done! I still need to get some advisors!!! Yes, and make sure you get teh letter sooner than later!

 

[Elegant]

Date: 1/7/2009 7:05:45 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
OK, just a little drive-by update - I found at least half the cells I need for my experiment, and started it today, woohoo!! (well, sort of - I hate doing experiments but this needs to get done, so I think its still positive on balance

).

Fingers crossed the experiment works - I should know by Monday at the latest.

Awesome!!! Congrats on getting the cells...that must be a huge relief! I like doing experiments, but a lot is on the line too!!! Nice!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 1/8/2009 9:45:34 PM
Author: Elegant

Date: 1/7/2009 7:05:45 PM

Author: AmberGretchen

OK, just a little drive-by update - I found at least half the cells I need for my experiment, and started it today, woohoo!! (well, sort of - I hate doing experiments but this needs to get done, so I think its still positive on balance

).


Fingers crossed the experiment works - I should know by Monday at the latest.

Awesome!!! Congrats on getting the cells...that must be a huge relief! I like doing experiments, but a lot is on the line too!!! Nice!

Yeah, I used to like doing experiments, back in undergrad and for like, the first 6 months of grad school. Now I''m pretty fed up and I think I might throw myself a party on the day I never have to work in a lab again

 

[WishfulThinking]

AmberGretchen- YAY for getting some of the cells you need! I''m sorry you don''t like doing experiments anymore. It sounds rather stressful and complicated! Thanks for sharing your gpa/honors experiences with me. I continue to be terrible at the math and now I am pretty sure that if I took 21 credits instead of 18 this coming semester I could squeeze by with magna... but I am not sure it''s worth it. I will decide later this month before I go back to school. It would be 19 credits of academic work, and 3 credits of it would be an additional independent research project, so that eliminates some of the stress. I am not sure what I am going to do yet... it feels complicated to me.

Elegant- Wow, it sounds like you have an INSANE schedule! You say "working" one hour a day but you''re doing so many other forms of work that that''s hardly a fair characterization. It definitely helps me to work on a desktop too, especially in the library. It feels more official and less like I should be fooling around and playing on fun websites.

Katamari, thanks for the congrats! Thank you also for sharing some of your organizational strategies. I should take a page out of your book. In the end I always end up being out of my mind with weeks worth of all-nighters and somehow end up squeaking by... oy. It might be the best method to light a fire under me, but it''s not great for my sanity! Good luck with your upcoming deadlines!!


I should be working right now but I can''t seem to concentrate. I''m at school for the weekend and beginning of this week, so perhaps that will help my focus. It''s weird being here without S, and a little lonely. I did make a lot of progress the last few days, though! A ton of reading, and huge source-lists to hunt down in the library and academic databases this weekend now that I have access to them. I have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow, which is a little nervewracking, but I think it will go well. She gave me an outstanding grade so I must have done something right. I think I have sufficiently motivated myself to get back to work-- good luck to you all!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Wishful, only you know if its worth it to go to that extra trouble and stress to possibly make magna. But before you commit one way or the other could you get someone from the registrar''s office to help you do the calculations so you are confident in them? Fingers crossed for your appointment with your advisor tomorrow.

One thing I will say, for what its worth, is that 95% of the things I''ve applied for - jobs, school stuff, fellowships, etc...mostly what they look at is what undergrad institution I went to, and what my GPA and test scores were.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Thanks, AmberGretchen. You have been so incredibly helpful to me. I will definitely check with the registrar about the math, especially since I would have to get permission from my academic Dean to overload credits that way. I doubt they would turn me down, but it will give me the opportunity to ask some questions. I do want to get this thesis thing going strong before I decide to do that, though.

When you say GPA, do you think that includes a difference in perception of a cum laude gpa or a magna one? It would be something like 3.73 instead of 3.75, so the difference is pretty minuscule but obviously recognized differently. Do you find thesis honors are helpful? I have heard that going straight from undergrad to PhD it''s good to have demonstrated a strong capacity for independently-driven research, especially as I may continue along a similar path as a possible dissertation topic. I am not sure if they care about the honors as much as the experience, though.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 1/9/2009 12:03:29 AM
Author: WishfulThinking
Thanks, AmberGretchen. You have been so incredibly helpful to me. I will definitely check with the registrar about the math, especially since I would have to get permission from my academic Dean to overload credits that way. I doubt they would turn me down, but it will give me the opportunity to ask some questions. I do want to get this thesis thing going strong before I decide to do that, though.


When you say GPA, do you think that includes a difference in perception of a cum laude gpa or a magna one? It would be something like 3.73 instead of 3.75, so the difference is pretty minuscule but obviously recognized differently. Do you find thesis honors are helpful? I have heard that going straight from undergrad to PhD it''s good to have demonstrated a strong capacity for independently-driven research, especially as I may continue along a similar path as a possible dissertation topic. I am not sure if they care about the honors as much as the experience, though.

Wishful, for grad school, the thesis honors were considered as part of the demonstration of my ability to do independent research - I did go straight from undergrad to grad (although don''t think I would do it that way again). I can''t comment on the honors vs. the experience, but I would say that as long as you have good solid research experience and a demonstrated capacity for independent research (which you clearly do) it won''t be problem.

I don''t know about cum laude vs. magna - my school (Brown) only did magna, and I didn''t qualify (my GPA was 3.8, not sure what the cutoff was exactly, but it was very close). I think the general threshold for GPA is 3.6 or 3.7 from any good-to-excellent school, and a bit higher from a less prestigious school, for most of the really high-level jobs and fellowships and so forth. But again, it all gets balanced with everything else. I don''t think that little extra jump, even if it came with magna, would make a very big difference for anything, so I totally agree with focusing on your thesis first and foremost.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Thanks for weighing in again, Amber. Sorry for the many questions! I have a 3.7 as of right now, and the cutoff for magna which I will either make or miss by a tiny margin is 3.75, so I will be in the range that I think corresponds with what I should be getting based on how my college is perceived [I''d love to think excellent, but definitely at least in the "good" range, even if the name recognition sucks!]. I am not anticipating my GRE scores will be anything to write home about, since I''m a notoriously horrible test-taker. I will do a ton of prep for it, but I am not sure I will be able to afford a formal course, so we''ll see how thaaaat goes.

I do think the thesis is the most, most important thing and I need to stay focused. I will admit that a little bit of it comes from the "why not?" camp in my brain. I managed a 4.0 this semester taking 18 credits rather than the 16 usual credits, so why not just aim for the same gpa taking 19? I think I may need to have my head examined. I''m also going to miss school when I''m taking time off, so I am trying to give it my last and best shot while I still have the opportunity to.

I think I am mostly losing it right now because it''s really sinking in that I will have limited options for grad school based on where S ends up going, and it''s scary thinking about that. I have a lot more flexibility in terms of my academic interests and possible departments as well as diversity in my areas of study, but I will really need to be trying to get into one or two schools, and the admissions process is hard enough as it is without the added pressure of trying to narrow the field so drastically. I keep thinking if I can do just a tiny bit *better*, or work just a little bit *harder* I will make the cut and we won''t have to be long distance... but it just doesn''t quite work that way. Wow, I am getting all emotional. I''m not sure I realized that this was a big underlying issue... sorry for the therapy session. I guess one step at a time will get me through.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Aww...wishful I feel for you on the pressure. I remember that anxiety when my DH and I (then bf) were going through that process the end of senior year of college - trying to find a place that he could get a job and I could go to grad school at the same time...

One thing I will say about grad school admissions, is that it was my experience that even at the most prestigious programs, your enthusiasm for the academic pursuits of the program is probably the single most important factor once you get past the initial screening to get an interview. And just based on your posts here, I have great faith in your ability to present yourself EXTREMELY well in a grad school admissions interview.

Oh and re: the GREs, just a quick note, both my DH and I took them, and we both only studied from a Princeton review-style book from Borders, and we both did extremely well (700+ on all sections). So I think you may be pleasantly surprised by how well you can do on those

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 1/9/2009 2:24:38 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Aww...wishful I feel for you on the pressure. I remember that anxiety when my DH and I (then bf) were going through that process the end of senior year of college - trying to find a place that he could get a job and I could go to grad school at the same time...


One thing I will say about grad school admissions, is that it was my experience that even at the most prestigious programs, your enthusiasm for the academic pursuits of the program is probably the single most important factor once you get past the initial screening to get an interview. And just based on your posts here, I have great faith in your ability to present yourself EXTREMELY well in a grad school admissions interview.


Oh and re: the GREs, just a quick note, both my DH and I took them, and we both only studied from a Princeton review-style book from Borders, and we both did extremely well (700+ on all sections). So I think you may be pleasantly surprised by how well you can do on those

You always understand how I feel. Perhaps we are long lost sisters?

The double-search is pretty stressful, but I know we will manage. There aren't any other options, so it has to work out somehow!

You are so sweet with your comments about my interview ability. Unfortunately there are no interviews for grad programs in my field!

I do know that my thesis advisor and at least one other recommender will write about my immense enthusiasm for work in my field, which may be helpful. I know I will get GLOWING reviews from three different professor who have all worked extensively with me both in the classroom and advising independent research I have done. That should help me along, and I think they know me well enough to portray at least in some measure the types of things I would have been able to in an interview. I also think my essay will demonstrate that. I hope!

Thanks for the note about the GREs. S did very well on them, too. I guess I despair because I was HORRID on the SATS. I bombed the math section completely, even though I scored extremely well on the verbal. I fear a repeat. I do know that the programs I am looking at put a lot less value on the math section, though. I will definitely prepare for them and check out the Princeton review books.


In other news, my meeting went SO WELL, today!! Advisor loved the draft of my 1st chapter and wants me to completely table it until I've finished the drafts for the other two sections. She even kept the draft with her comments so I wouldn't look at it and be tempted to work more on that section. She is so sweet and funny and I think knows me a little too well to know that I would be tempted! She raved about my enthusiasm and said I inspire her to finish her paper for the conference we're both presenting at in the spring because I am ahead of her.

She also said, and this is a BIG yessssss moment for me, that she is definitely going to approve me to move forward for honors consideration!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think she is supposed to tell me that, but she did, so yay! My other advisor emailed me this morning as well and said she'll look at the stuff I sent her asap and get back to me. Her email included a little section about how proud she is of me and all the things I've accomplished!! She, too, must pass me to the next level, but I am pretty confident that she will like what I am doing with the project. I am totally, completely, and utterly excited about all of this! I so needed to hear that I'm going to make it out of this alive... and I do believe I shall.

I hope everyone else's week is finishing up just as swimmingly. I am sending you dust for all of your experiments, research, and writing!!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Hehe long lost sisters...possible, or perhaps just fellow female type-A overachievers

I didn''t realize about the interviews, but it sounds like your recommendations will serve the same purpose - I know that glowing recommendations, in the absence of interviews, often make or break a candidate and it certainly sounds like yours are more of the making variety

That''s awesome that your meeting with your advisor went so well and you are getting such positive feedback - you should be so proud of yourself, it sounds like you are really accomplishing an incredible amount. I''m so excited for you, and I''ll keep my fingers crossed that those next two sections get done before you know it

 

[WishfulThinking]

Thank you so much, Amber. I just saw your response, and it picked me up just a bit.

If anyone has any dust to spare it would be really, really appreciated. I am totally drowning in this. I have no motivation, can''t seem to get anything done, had a huge blowout fight with my mom when I was home and didn''t get any work done, am an emotional basketcase over everything else going on in my life... and I have no idea how I am going to finish this in a week. A week. Even thinking about that is giving me a nervous breakdown which is not helpful considering that the more I fret and cry the less work I am doing. I have seven pages written... out of I don''t know, realistically maybe 40? And my sources are held up in interlibrary loan, which means I am missing a ton of books I need and have to keep filling blank spaces with gibberish explaining what I hope to be able to say in these sections once I get a chance to look at the data. I spoke with my advisor about this when we met and she didn''t seem concerned, but my other advisor is a bit inaccessible right now, and although I assume she will understand that there''s nothing I can do about the books--I had them checked out but the library wouldn''t let me renew them any longer and recalled them so I had to give them back and try to check them out again--but I am so worried she''ll be pissed that my third section is so spotty. I am so incredibly lucky this is a first draft or I''d be beyond screwed.

Okay, as usual maybe writing this out has helped me realize that I just need to GO for it! Ahh! If I can''t do this comparably wimpy 75 page undergrad thesis I have no idea how I am going to be able to do a graduate program. Now I''m doubting myself that I''ll ever be capable of getting a grad degree. Sheesh. I''m sorry I am using this thread to vent... I just have nowhere else to vent right now.

I sincerely hope you''re all doing fabulously and am sending happy and encouraging thoughts your way!! Keep up all the good work!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Just popping in to send a truckload of dust your way Wishful!!

You can do this!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Aw, thank you so much, Sarah! I am thinking about you and your applications every day! We can do it!!

[I am feeling slightly more positive and have a few more pages tackled. All will be well, I think.]

 

[katamari]

Tons of dust for you, Wishful! I hope that it is going well, and I know that you can do it.

I think you might be letting this project get too big. Don''t worry about the implications it has for grad school, your and S''s life together, a window into your future success or failure as a graduate student, etc. I think that might be what is making it intimidating (at least it would for me). My advisor always says "your work will never do anything to your career if it never gets read," And, I have to pass along her advice here. I hope that makes sense. All that worrying is only standing in your way. Plus, I promise you that all the other life stuff will fall into place better than you think it will now.


Also, fwiw, I do know a lot about the scholarship you are writing about, and if you ever want to bounce an idea off me, just let me know.

Good luck!

You can do it!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Thanks so much, katamari! It's going much better than it was last night. SO much better. I finally sort of worked out some of the structural issues I'm having concerning how to organize the sections of this chapter without being completely redundant. I am trying to make so many points using the same info that it's hard not to reiterate it all the time!

You are so, so, so, so completely right about my projecting all of my angst onto my thesis. I really need to stop doing that or I'll go insane. I am trying really hard NOT to think about what I am going to write in my grad applications about what I plan to do for my dissertation but it's hard not to think about whether it will be related to this research I am doing now. The life stuff just has to work out... after all, there are no other options.

Thanks for reminding me that you know a lot about my subject area. I am all hung up on Foucault right now-- issues of knowledge and institutional authority. I am having a bit of trouble figuring out how to balance his "some programs operate in order to fail basically on purpose because failing serves a purpose" bit. If that makes ANY sense. It's a very inarticulate way of describing it. Please don't laugh at me! I'm finding him so tricky to apply to modern policy because it's hard for me to argue that a policy is set up on purpose to fail when I can't really prove that was the intent... even if consistent research shows it's failing and the govt tries to keep implementing it [ab-only sex ed and the Bush administration]. Does that make any sense? Or is it just incoherent babbling and displaying a fundamental lack of knowledge indicating I need to go read all this theory again and try to come out with a better understanding of it?

Maybe it would be more clear if it was less vague. Basically my argument in the Foucault section is that the material taught in ab-ed programs is designed primarily to instill certain values of good citizenship [through institutional authority] in future generations through public schools. The values being instilled are the modern legacy of the Reaganite Welfare Queen ideology, so they have a specific place in cultural memory and are part of the conglomeration of American ideals relating to citizenship which include race, gender, sexuality [both orientation and sex practices]. So the ab-ed programs produce and reproduce knowledges about ideal citizenship and pass them off as science through sciency-type educational programs. Which in this analysis seems like that MUST be what they are doing, since evidence shows that the things the program claims are true are not true at all, but rather rooted in stereotypes, especially stereotypes about what welfare recipients and their families look like/act like/and causes of poverty. They also obviously do NOT work to prevent teens from having sex, which at this point is sort of a given. So the intended purpose, not so much. But this other purpose of citizenship knowledge-building seems plausible to me... Ugh it sounds so stupid when I type it out in short form.

Does that sound at all right for Foucault? My theory expert advisor is on leave right now and will be addressing these issues with me starting in Feb so I am writing a bit blind here on these aspects for this rough draft... and yet the argument needs to come out okay or the whole draft will be useless!

But... I CAN DO IT! Somehow!

 

[Phoenix]

Hmmmm, I am rather late, but a quick comment, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. I got top award for my masters and it was because I was totally into it and determined to come out top.

I LOVE studying (if our finances had permitted it, I''m sure I''d have gone into academia and become top-notch in this field). My dream now is to do a PhD in Finance (not sure of the subject yet though).

Perseverance and dedication are key, I believe. And yes, Wishful, you can *definitely* do it!!