Calling all married women!

[sunnyd]

I wish I'd gotten my makeup done, honestly. My SIL did a good job, but I didn't feel as special as I feel like I should have on my wedding day because it looked like any other day.

We splurged on photography, and I'm glad. We loved our photogs and the pics are so worth it!

Our food wasn't that expensive, and we were able to bring our own alcohol.

I DIYed the invites, and I don't know if I'd go through that hell again. They ended up costing almost as much as non-DIY!

Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing ( wise anyway...).

 

[KimberlyH]

I wouldn't change a thing about our wedding (with one small exception but it wasn't related to money). We picked a few things that really mattered to us (great food, a beautiful location, my dress, fantastic music), made sure they were exactly as we wanted them and let go of the rest of it. I had the best time wedding planning and my memories of our wedding day are wonderful.

 

[random_thought]

I would have eloped! I'm totally serious! There were so many people at our wedding and I didn't even know half of them. There were some people in our wedding party that ended up stabbing us in the back. I really wish we had made the day more about us than everybody else; then again, when the parents pay for the entire thing you just have to suck it up. We were offered them paying for the wedding or getting 5k and eloping. At the time I wanted the white dress and the whole shebang. Now looking back, I think I would have been happier doing it by ourselves. Also, we skimped the money on the photographer and things just got ridiculous. Took pictures outside in the freezing cold. Were still taking pictures in the church when guests started coming in. Just a whole mess. But at the end of the day I was married to the man of my dreams and that was all that mattered to me

 

[bee*]

There isn't much that I regret spending on from our wedding. We didn't do STD's as they're not popular over here at all. We also did DIY invites but DH put a huge amount of work into them so they turned out great. The one part that I thought I might regret is the video but I actually think that's my favourite thing out of all the wedding vendors-it's brilliant to be able to look back on the day and see all our family and friends. The only thing in hindsight that I might have spent less on is the band. They were excellent but I still could have probably found an equally good band for less €.

 

[petrock<3]

Hmmmm I don't have many regrets as far as what we spent I'm afraid

We saved upfront on stuff that wasn't so important to us such as :

DIY STD's and invites
mostly DIY origami decor, with some flowers
DIY origami placecards
nixed programs (we didn't have attendants or anything complicated)
no favors, we used the $$ towards a "welcome boat trip" thought guests would enjoy that more
Went with Betsyville shoes on sale at Zappos instead of mucho dinero designer ones I wanted. In hindsight good choice. I can't even find my shoes now.
Also nixed expensive purse I wanted. Carried a vintage one of my grandma's. Barely even saw it all night.

Somewhat expensive things I still feel were worth every penny

Kick a$$ cake- one of my favorite memories is how awesome my cake turned out, I was so surprised and excited! Love looking at the pic of it.
Designer dress- really thought I would regret spending the money afterward, but nope. I still love it so much

I actually wish we could have spent MORE for a better photog. But, we were married in Bermuda and all of the good ones were booked wayyyyy in advance. Ours was fairly new and much less expensive, which we were psyched about. But I think aside from the formal shots, there is maybe one pic of me and my mom and many guests missed altogether. There were only 50 people. Many of my guests pics are better than hers. She got one or two not so good pics of our rice toss, and my guests have phenominal ones, but unfortunately not the best quality . I love great rice toss photos, I was really excited about those pics.

I feel bad because I snapped a little at my mom who was going pic crazy (as she does) because I paid for a photog and wanted her to relax and have a good time! Well bless her heart because her photos are the ONLY pics I have of the decor I made by hand for months and HAULED down to Bermuda!!! I make sure to tell her how much she saved the day there. I would have been devastated!

So I am probably no help, but other than being in Bermuda it was a pretty no frills affair. We splured on a great location, awesome food and events for our guests. No videographer, very little on decor, no limo or anything. I actually was taken to church in the resort golf cart because my cab was so late HA! That was a disaster and I was late to the ceremony.

Anyway, best of luck to you, and I hope you have no regrets!

 

[slg47]

Mashira great thread and thanks to everyone for replying-this has been a really interesting read.

The only thing I would say is that if you have a lot of older guests who are not internet-savvy, doing online save-the-dates (STDs just sounds weird, sorry), might not be the best idea. I think you mentioned that you are having a lot of out of town guests so I would definitely do some form of save-the-date, either online or paper (or send your invitations early). A cousin of mine didn't send out save the dates, and sent the invitation the SAME MONTH AS THE WEDDING (oh, and her wedding was on a Friday, during the school year, and I would have had to travel. I didn't go.)

 

[LtlFirecracker]

So I am a married lady now!!!!

I just wanted to update my post and let you know I am happy with the decisions I made....except for the wedding coordinator. She was not a good one and a lot of details were not correct. But the whole day went off well. The food the caterer provided was better than expected being that I did not put a whole lot of my budget into that. The photographer was fab. The hair and makeup ladies made me look like a million bucks, but I had to really pay for that, and most of my BM's hair and make up. That was more than I thought it would be.

I think I had 56 people total. And the number was perfect. It was enough people to have a party, but I really had time to talk to everyone.

Except for the wedding coordinator, I would not change a thing if I had it to do over again.

ETA: My husband feels the same way, he says it was "all worth it."

 

[missydebby]

Hey! Whata great question! Ok I got married in 1998 and things were slightly different then but here's a $ recap...

Glad I didn't spend much money on:
Dress - I had a choice between a $150 dollar dress and a $2k dress. I liked the 2k better but not $1850 better. Still felt gorgeous.
Flowers - I gave the florist my budget and colors I liked and told her she had free rein to be as creative as she wanted. Letting her have free rein gave her an opportunity to show her stuff and cost us much less than if we tried to micro-manage.
Bridal Jewelry - 1/2 borrowed and 1/2 faux
Shoes- beautiful, comfortable, and $30
DJ - instead of live music
The Cake- we let the hotel where we had the wedding provide the cake as well as the catering... saved bundles on having it made to order from a bakery... also picked the lowest catering selections... still was super yummy

Glad I spent money on:
Hair and make-up - I'm good at both, but it was rad to be pampered for 1 day. Plus, this has got to be hair and make-up that holds up for the whole day and for photos. They knew what they were doing and it made a huge difference 3 hours + into it.
A babysitter - We had a lot of people with kids and I like families. But I also wanted both the kids and adults to have a good time. We had a babysitter for the day who sat at the kids table and helped with the babies. Let everyone be relaxed.

Would have done myself but for what was available at the time:
Invites and thank you cards - we had them printed but nowadays I would have done them myself
Mailing every single card and putting stamps on every rsvp card - today, I would have emailed many more and used sites like Facebook and einvites (or similar) to send invites and get rsvps. Lots of people aren't in the habit of mailing things back anymore but are on social networks or check their email daily.

 

[pancake]

So far I am only halfway through, so I can only give you half a response! This is for my ceremony and after-ceremony dinner (just two of us)

Splurged on:
Shoes (x 2)
Photography (although very reasonable for the service we had)
Planner
Food - we are massive foodies and this was essential!
Hair & makeup
Husband's suit

Saved on:
Dress (although this was serendipitous...the dress I fell in love with happened to be $300)
Decorating the ceremony venue (castle on a lake...gilding the lily seemed unnecessary)
Guests and bridal party
Jewellery - faux-tastic!

For the return leg reception, which is still being planned:

Probable splurges:
Food and drink
Venue (winery restaurant, exclusive use for the day)

Probable saves:
No decorations at venue - it is beautiful enough!
No dancing lessons (no bridal waltz!)
No cake
Save the dates - by email
DIY invites and thank you cards

 

[Anonymous]

Mashira, thank you so much for starting this thread! It's a tremendous help and I just love reading everyone's stories! I can't wait for my wedding day!

 

[Mashira]

I'm learning tons from this thread as well, and I'm glad it's helping others out!
Turns out, I'm going to be forced to do STD's because of the out of town guests, but I'm going to Michaels for them ($10 for a pack of 12, so $20 total, printing them ourselves)

 

[sctsbride09]

We eloped and spent more on our honeymoon, which we took later on our first anni, than on our wedding. I have never regretted it, we have money for a down payment on a house and savings. If we would have had the wedding our parents wanted, we wouldnt have either. If i could give advice to new brides, it would be to do what YOU can afford, dont worry about everyone elses opinions. And, if your "wedding budget" taps all of your personal budget/savings, think about this..A wedding is one day, a marriage is (supposed to be) a lifetime. If you spend everything you have on a huge party, where are you going to settle down, what about emergencies?

A very good friend of mine and her DH spent everything they had on their wedding a bit over 2 years ago. When the time came for them to buy a house (6 months later) they had nothing and had to borrow money to get together a down payment. Well, now my friend is pregnant and her DH just lost his job. They have zero savings and I guarantee they will lose their home. If the above senario looks even slightly similar to anyone reading this, ELOPE!! Its not worth going broke for a party. Remember, the marriage is more important than the wedding. I realize that not everyone does the above, and if you can afford it GREAT! If not try living within or even below (gasp) your means.

 

[purselover]

I'm glad we didn't spend money on/wasted money on:

My dress - it was less than $500 from Jcrew and I absolutely loved it! There was no need for me to spend any more on something I wore a few hours
Our dj - he was awful and I really just think I hate DJ's in general but I thought we "had to have one" - we should have stuck with just the quartet
photographer - I think we could have found someone better for less.

I'm glad we spent money on:

favors - we had packages of 4 types of holiday cookies, candy canes and bottles of holiday wine for everyone
my shoes - they were almost $800 but I love them so much and still wear them
string quartet - they were extremely wonderful and one of my favorite memories of that day. There was nothing like walking down the aisle to a live quartet
bar - not only did we have a top shelf open bar but we had a custom holiday martini bar with winter flavors, along with the quartet it was my favorite memory (odd but true!) Almost a year later we still get compliments on how wonderful the martini bar was
cake - our cake was included in our package but we decided to upgrade to Red Velvet and it was delicious, plus our upgrade came with mini creme brulees and macaroon that were to die for

ETA: also our invitations were worth it, we spent about $1000 but they were gorgeous!

 

[SB621]

Looking back i spent too much on the invitation- i didn't even keep one so I barely remember them. However, I was cheap on the DJ and it showed- he sucked and no one danced. I wish i had hired a band.

 

[elrohwen]

I skimped on:
flowers and decorations (used the rinky-dink centerpieces provided by the venue - free with our package)
cake (we got cheesecakes, nothing fancy and no decoration)
rings (plain wbands, which I wanted anyway, but it was nice to save the money)
DJ (I pretty much found the cheapest guy who seemed professional and had good recommendations - then I bartered him down even more)
dress (not super cheap, but $1500 and no alterations isn't too shabby; I intended to go even cheaper but couldn't find anything I loved as much)
invites (we spent $125 total, then because of issues ended up getting 50% back from the company)
STDs (spent $25)


I don't regret any of my cheap choices! I did splurge in a few areas:
favors (pint glasses with our name as the Guiness logo - we have a lot of extras and plan to use them in a home bar; we love them)
string quartet
food (we paid extra to upgrade our dining choices to lamb, duck, and sea bass)