Butting heads

[fisherofmengirly]

Paul and I are having a hard time with making a decision, and I am going to try to post this as non-biased as possible, in hopes that we will both gain some insight into the situation.

First, Paul and I are looking to buy a home. Our lease is up at the end of January, but we have the opportunity to extend the lease by two months, if need be.

We have been looking at homes since the summer, and seriously looking in the past couple of months. We''ve gone through the pre-approval/qualification stuff with mortgage things and all that.

Okay, so Paul''s brother just recently got his license to be a realtor. When Paul and I first started looking at houses, he said we should work with him. Paul and he talked about it, and it never went anywhere. His brother signed on with a company, and that is where his efforts stopped.

He has been given a mentor to work under, and he''s not worked under him to learn things that he''ll need to know in order to be a successful realtor.

Paul and I talked about his brother being our realtor about 6 weeks ago, when we really decided it was time to get serious and find a realtor to help us get into houses to see the insides (we''ve found calling them ourselves didn''t work so well). Paul said at that time that his brother was waiting to begin, due to needing to work a full time job so he could pay bills, etc.

We went to an open house and met a really nice realtor who is also relatively new, but also has been actively working since the spring, and who seems to be really knowledgable and willing to listen to and answer our endless questions. She has given us tons of advice, and has also showed us some wonderful homes.

So, I think the decision has been made because before we began working with her, I told Paul that the only way they make money is to sell a home, and driving us all over the world is a big cost right now. Paul nods and says he knows. (I told the realtor about Paul''s brother, because I didn''t think it was fair or right not to. She said she would work with us for a limited time, while we decided what to do, as it is a "tender" situation, as she put it.) I tell Paul I think we need to commit to her, and he says he wants to call his brother first and see what sort of experience he''s gained under his mentor.

Apparently, there has been no working under him, shadowing him, and his brother says it''s "no big deal" to buy a home and that the contract is only tricky for the seller. I''ve heard so much saying that the contract can "get you" either way, seller or buyer. That just kind of scares me that someone who''s never done something that is as intense as a contract on a home would say it''s no big deal. Maybe it''s just me, but...I dunno.

Okay, so then Paul says he wants to give his brother a chance. He gives him our "wish" list for our future home. That was a while back, and we''ve not gone out to see any homes with him, we''ve not gotten any word from him. I asked Paul about it last night, and he said that his brother wanted to know when we were planning to buy first. Um, it''s been the same timeline since, I don''t know, when we got married!! That''s never changed, and has always been known. I also don''t understand how the timeline has anything to do with a realtor showing you homes.

So, there is the situation. It''s a doozey of one, I think. Paul says I''m stressing out over nothing, and maybe I am. There are other factors that I won''t add in here, because I am supposed to be as unbiased as possible. But just know there is some tension at times that I feel would factor into the whole mix.

Fun times, fun times.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hiya Fisher!

It is indeed a tender situation, and I think, when the cards are down, I would be where you are, even if it were my own brother. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure my own brother wouldn't LET me hire him, if he had zilch experience. Hon, it's the BIGGEST purchase you will ever make, and will affect your quality of life more than just about anything else.

The good news is: it's your real estate LAWYER who will be going over the contract and negotiating the final details, NOT the real estate AGENT, so you're OK from that perspective. But the thing you really want / need from your agent is tonnes of experience with specific neighbourhoods. You want him to know everything that is happening there, in case there's something you really need to know. And you want him to know the history of the market in that area, etc too. You also want him to be very skilled at negotiating the price of the house and what's included and to know how things play out in different situations.

If he has a personal relationship with inspectors and real estate lawyers, that helps too as you're more likely to get good service and a good price from them.

Personally, I would never hire an inexperienced agent, even if it was my own brother. And my own brother would understand that.

I guess, in a nutshell, and from the other side (I bought my place almost two years ago), I just can't imagine the mistakes I would have made if my agent hadn't been able to steer me through. He knew every building, the plans for every empty lot, the issues with the city, the tax situation, the developers, EVERYTHING. I would have seriously screwed up without him. Which is to say, his extensive experience was invaluable.

 

[KimberlyH]

Fisher,

Every agent has to have a first client, so I wouldn''t have a problem being the brother''s except that it sounds like he''s done nothing to figure out the ropes of the business beyond earning his license. Buying a home is not only a HUGE deal, it can also be very emotional for some people; a level headed agent who knows the ins-and-outs of the market and can hold your hand, figuratively, through the process is extremely valuable. If you and Paul know a lot about real estate I would work with his brother, but it sounds like that is not the case. How involved would his mentor be? An RE agent is your advocate and if he doesn''t know enough about the business he will not be successful serving as such.

I am practical, and would choose to go with the person who has been so helpful and already spent the time to work closely with me. It would be difficult to tell your BIL, but I''d rather have a difficult conversation than lose a lot of money, or go through the process of buying a house without understanding the process, or having access to seasoned inspectors, mortgage agents, etc. which are all things that a good agent can provide you.

I''m sorry you''re in a pickle, this is a tough situation.

K

 

[laine]

Even if the brother were experienced, I think I''d still be hesitant to use him, just as I''d be hesitant to use friends or family for any sort of business dealing. There are just too many chances for things to go wrong and spoil a relationship. Its just not worth the risk to me. The fact that he''s not experienced and doesn''t seem to be trying just adds to the reasons not to use him. Of course, I''d phrase it more as "we don''t use friends or family for business things" then as the "you''re completely unprepared" issue, but I think your gut feeling not to use him is spot on.

 

[blueyes157]

Hi Fisher,

I am a realtor myself (in PA). I am 23 years old and have been in the business for 4 years (I started when I was in college). This a tricky situation, and I would say trust your gut. I think it is important that your are represented by someone who takes the initiative... and from what you have said it does not sound like your future brother in law has done that. Also, sometimes mixing personal life with business life can be tricky. Not everyone, but some people feel that when they are working for a friend or family member they don''t have to "work as hard" as if they would with someone they didn''t know. The risk of losing a friend as a client is not as high with a stranger who has no connections with you. You have been out with this one woman, you seem comfortable with her and she is showing you things that you like. I am sure if you expressed your concerns to you future brother in law he may understand.

On the other hand, I have had people out-right say they didn''t not want to work with me, because I was too young and there was no way that I could have enough experience. People are entitled to their opinion and age has nothing to do with your drive or experience level, so you could give him the benefit of the doubt or a "trial period", but the other realtor may not be there when things go wrong.

I have to disagree with your FI''s brother on saying that issues with the contract only affect the seller. Once you enter into a contract with a seller, you will be having home inspections performed and then negotiating to have repairs done by the seller, or possibly terminating the contract if a serious issue comes up with the home. Title issues could come up and tax liens, every transaction I have done, there has been something to work with. I am not sure where you live, but in some states, attorneys draw up contracts, in others the realtor will do that and you have the option of paying an attorney to review the contract. Here in PA we have the latter.

Either way you chose to go, trust your gut, and have fun! It is a very exciting and rewarding experience!

 

[blueyes157]

I just wanted to add.... this is most likely the biggest financial decision of your life and it is not something you want to mess around with. There is the potential of losing your down money due to mortgage defaults or buying a property with serious problems that you are stuck with after settlement or paying too much. You want somebody you can trust that will use their eyes and ears to look out for you, not just their commission.

 

[Mara]

frankly i wouldn''t use your husband''s brother. do you really want to be his guinea pig? there is way too much involved with buying a home, especially your first one, you shouldn''t have to be as educated as they are...but if you want to be (i am like that), that''s a different matter. i found that when we were working with mortgage brokers for the purchase of our new townhouse, i sometimes knew more than a few of them. that bothered me. so we went with the one who seemed most knowledgeable, and most accepting of what i had learned. it''s a huge financial decision and it''s all very emotionally tinged as well, aka your new home, your first real home together, etc...don''t entrust it to a green relative. i would imagine he''d have your best interests at heart but good intentions don''t always pave the way for a great transaction or professional relationship. good luck!!

 

[Haven]

Fisher,

I think you''re absolutely right to be concerned about the situation. My FI and I have been seriously searching for a home for about two months now, and we switched realtors after two weeks because we realized that our first realtor didn''t have the experience or knowledge of our desired location that we would prefer. As a buyer you have every right to find a realtor who suits your needs, and has the experience and savvy that you require. Our realtor has been instrumental in helping us narrow down our options and find homes that meet our needs, I can''t imagine working with someone in whom I don''t have the confidence I require.

I say let your brother-in-law get some experience (and initiative) under his belt before you work with him. He doesn''t sound very motivated, and this would be an enormous red flag for me.

Good luck! I know how grueling the home-buying process can be!

 

[aljdewey]

Another voice chiming in to say I''d not choose the BIL in this situation. My reasons include:

As first-time home buyers, you need an agent with more experience.
It''s a bad idea to mix business with family in a purchase as significant as a home.

 

[bee*]

Date: 11/20/2007 11:45:45 AM
Author: aljdewey
Another voice chiming in to say I''d not choose the BIL in this situation. My reasons include:


As first-time home buyers, you need an agent with more experience.

It''s a bad idea to mix business with family in a purchase as significant as a home.

ditto to this

 

[basil]

Can you use the mentor? That way maybe BIL can be involved, but he will be supervised by someone who knows what they are doing.

 

[crown1]

i have a strict policy i never deviate from: never do business with friends or relatives. i have made this clear from the get go and everyone understands where i stand therefore no hard feelings.

 

[surfgirl]

No way would I use your inexperienced BIL! No.Way. You need an experienced Real Estate agent on your first purchase, end of story. I dont think any major purchase like this should go through a family member...too much potential for disaster.

 

[Kaleigh]

Due to BIL's lack of experience, I wouldn't use him either. This is a huge purchase, one of the most important ones you'll ever make. Ok if you wanted surgery would you go to a surgeon that had a few surgeries under his belt?? BIL doesn't even have one...


Best of luck!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

You know, when Paul''s brother first said he''d gotten his realtor license as well as his inspector''s license, the first thing I told Paul was that I think it''s not a good idea to mix relatives and purchasing something like a home. I pointed out that sometimes a realtor can kind of *tweak* a couple''s ideal home to fit what is currently available, etc., and while that''s not always an intentional thing, I would hate to dislike our home down the road and feel like were walked into something we didn''t love from the get-go. Eventually, Paul just kind of let go of talking about his brother being the realtor, and I forgot about it, too.

Then we found what we thought was "THE HOUSE" for us, and couldn''t get the realtor who is selling it to show it to us (some don''t like to work with the buyer and seller, as it''s hard to represent both), so we started talking about a realtor again.

Mind you, this was MONTHS after his brother got his license, and with the market having so many people looking to get a "deal" around here, I thought for sure his brother had at least made some sort of contacts with someone, under his mentor. So we agreed that Paul would ask him about it and tell him a basic idea of our *ideals.* Well, that was a while back, like I said, and it''s never come up again until we meet this really nice realtor who wants to work with us, who has knowledge and who when she doesn''t know something we ask, finds out.

So, my preface all along was that I don''t think it''s a great idea to mix the two, and then you add on that he''s not taken any initiatve at all (I mean, he''s not made cards, taken any of the additional classes that come with being a realtor, followed under his mentor, nothing) and you get a response of terror and fear from me.

Luckily, I was open with the realtor we have been working with from the beginning. She said she understands the situation, and when she was a "new" realtor, she helped her son and daughter-in-law purchase their first home. She said the experience she got through that was great, and she was thankful for it. My thing is, though, she was doing something for them and taking classes, gaining knowledge, and working with her mentor the whole time.

I don''t know. I guess Thanksgiving this year will be a HOOT, though. Paul''s father just doesn''t understand our not wanting to "help a guy out," either. I just love being the evil villan.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Someone, HELP me, please.

Tell Paul that when someone who is supposed to be a realtor says "the contract for a buyer is nothing at all, doesn''t matter what you put or don''t put in it" is a very NOT good thing, and someone who you DO not need to persue was a potential realtor.

I don''t get how such an intelligent man can buy this stuff up and spit it back at me, like it makes sense.

 

[argh&stuff]

There are a few things that Jen hasn''t told you.

First of all, she tells you that my brother hasn''t taken any initiative to learn. Let''s state why. Please understand, my brother is single, he has a mortgage, and he has to pay bills. When someone is not married, it is much more difficult for the person to transition from one career/job to the next. Such is the case with my brother. He obtained his real estate license in August, and for much of that time, he hasn''t been able to "gain the experience", or so my wife states. The first month of his license, I really didn''t pursue it with him, and so that is my "fault", if you want to make an issue of it. Secondly, another thing that she hasn''t told you is that my brother hurt his back at work (about three weeks ago), and he was out of work for a minimum of three weeks, unable to do much of anything besides lay on the couch. This occurred about a month ago (mid October). Therefore, combined with the more difficult issue of "singledom and not having a spouse to work while one transitions", as well as the other issues, it is easy to see why my brother hasn''t been doing much.

I find it odd how so many of you claim that you would never trust anyone without any experience. If no one trusted anyone, then no one would ever gain experience. How do you think any agent gains experience? They do so by doing exactly what some of you are claiming one should not let them.

I felt that this wouldn''t be complete without these tidbits.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:51:11 PM
Author: argh&stuff
There are a few things that Jen hasn''t told you.

First of all, she tells you that my brother hasn''t taken any initiative to learn. Let''s state why. Please understand, my brother is single, he has a mortgage, and he has to pay bills. When someone is not married, it is much more difficult for the person to transition from one career/job to the next. Such is the case with my brother. He obtained his real estate license in August, and for much of that time, he hasn''t been able to ''gain the experience'', or so my wife states. The first month of his license, I really didn''t pursue it with him, and so that is my ''fault'', if you want to make an issue of it. Secondly, another thing that she hasn''t told you is that my brother hurt his back at work (about three weeks ago), and he was out of work for a minimum of three weeks, unable to do much of anything besides lay on the couch. This occurred about a month ago (mid October). Therefore, combined with the more difficult issue of ''singledom and not having a spouse to work while one transitions'', as well as the other issues, it is easy to see why my brother hasn''t been doing much.

I find it odd how so many of you claim that you would never trust anyone without any experience. If no one trusted anyone, then no one would ever gain experience. How do you think any agent gains experience? They do so by doing exactly what some of you are claiming one should not let them.

I felt that this wouldn''t be complete without these tidbits.

I suppose my response to this, in a matter of making sure that the *truth* is stated as closely as possible, would be to reiterate that Paul''s brother hurt his back like less than a month ago, and yeah, we''ve been looking at homes since, um, early early SUMMER. Any of you who''ve been around to read anything about me knows that I''m not a quiet person and what I''m excited about, I talk about. I doubt Paul''s brother had "no idea" that we were house shopping.

I''m also not buying this "it''s so hard when you''re not married" bit. I was single for 27 years, Paul for 29. We managed "transitioning" jobs just fine. Is it my fault the boy lives beyond his means in a home he cannot afford and just bought a car (that he got for the purpose of showing people homes for his realtor job) that he cannot afford? I don''t see it that way. I don''t think that makes me some cold-hearted person, either.

I think it''s great for people to gain experience, and I sincerely hope Paul''s brother finds a home buyer or seller who is more knowledgable than we are, who is willing to work with him. I hope that before that times comes, however, that he takes the time to gain some knowledge by spending time with his mentor, which is what he is there for. His brother says the point of the mentor is to walk him through things once he finds a seller or buyer. Now, who''s buying that?? Without a mentor, how does a person even learn how to get clients?

The "poor me, I hurt my back three weeks ago and that constitutes why I haven''t done anything for you for 3 months" thing isn''t working for me too well.

Gosh, I just *LOVE* Paul''s sweet spirit, but I''m going nuts here!! He loves his brother, wants the best for him. That''s sweet. I hope he finds the skills he needs to be a stellar realtor, too. I just don''t think at this point in the game, he has any knowledge for the task at hand. I don''t think it''s a "personal" issue with me, I think it''s a rational, non-bleeding heart point of view.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:51:11 PM
Author: argh&stuff
There are a few things that Jen hasn''t told you.

First of all, she tells you that my brother hasn''t taken any initiative to learn. Let''s state why. Please understand, my brother is single, he has a mortgage, and he has to pay bills. When someone is not married, it is much more difficult for the person to transition from one career/job to the next. Such is the case with my brother. He obtained his real estate license in August, and for much of that time, he hasn''t been able to ''gain the experience'', or so my wife states. The first month of his license, I really didn''t pursue it with him, and so that is my ''fault'', if you want to make an issue of it. Secondly, another thing that she hasn''t told you is that my brother hurt his back at work (about three weeks ago), and he was out of work for a minimum of three weeks, unable to do much of anything besides lay on the couch. This occurred about a month ago (mid October). Therefore, combined with the more difficult issue of ''singledom and not having a spouse to work while one transitions'', as well as the other issues, it is easy to see why my brother hasn''t been doing much.

I find it odd how so many of you claim that you would never trust anyone without any experience. If no one trusted anyone, then no one would ever gain experience. How do you think any agent gains experience? They do so by doing exactly what some of you are claiming one should not let them.

I felt that this wouldn''t be complete without these tidbits.

Argh, it''s not about whether or not I''d give someone a chance, I said I''d go with the other realtor because what both of you have shared leads me to believe he doesn''t know enough about RE to serve as your advocate.

If he''s been laid up for three weeks it would have been the perfect opportunity for him to take some online classes while laying on the couch. His reasons for not "doing much" may be valid, but it doesn''t change that buying a home is the biggest purchase you will likely make in your life, and you want someone qualified to assist you in doing so. He could have also called you at any time to discuss your plans, house showings, etc. Part of being an agent is chasing business and he seems to have taken a lax approach, perhaps because you are family and so he assumed he has the job. Experience or not, your brothers'' lack of knowledge (which fish made evident in some of the statements he''s made about contracts and such) is reaosn enough for me to think he is not the best agent for you.

If I were in your and fish''s shoes I would simply tell him you have decided, as a couple, that mixing business with family is not a good idea; that it has nothing to do with his ability and everything to do with how important your personal relationship with him is.

 

[luckystar112]

whoa whoa whoa....you two are married?
And secondly, how funny you guys are arguing with eachother (and us) on the internet. I seriously mean that.

All I can tell you about buying a home is to take your TIME and definitely do NOT settle. I kind of feel like we settled with the house we live in right now, as I have never truly felt "at home" in it not matter how much I decorate it and try to make it my own. I think, for this reason, having your realtor be someone who KNOWS you can really be benefitial. However, some of the comments that the BIL is saying ARE a little scary! I would follow the suggestion of whoever suggested that the mentor come too.

 

[TravelingGal]

Uh....

I''m all for gaining insight into the situation from objective parties...PS is free therapy and there are some people I''d PAY here to get their two cents. But...

Maybe you two should take it offline and really have a heart to heart? I mean, I figure you are trying, but the image of you both typing away your sides of the story from different sides of the room is a bit disconcerting to me. Maybe it''s just me...but I like to talk things out with my hubby before splatting it all over the net.

And for the record, I agree with the others...even with the new info, don''t mix business and family. Sorry.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 9:14:12 PM
Author: luckystar112
whoa whoa whoa....you two are married?
And secondly, how funny you guys are arguing with eachother (and us) on the internet. I seriously mean that.

All I can tell you about buying a home is to take your TIME and definitely do NOT settle. I kind of feel like we settled with the house we live in right now, as I have never truly felt ''at home'' in it not matter how much I decorate it and try to make it my own. I think, for this reason, having your realtor be someone who KNOWS you can really be benefitial. However, some of the comments that the BIL is saying ARE a little scary! I would follow the suggestion of whoever suggested that the mentor come too.

*ding ding*

 

[zoebartlett]

I haven't read the whole thread yet but here's my take on your initial post.

I know that your BIL is family but I honestly wouldn't work with him if he was looking at the biggest purchase of your life as no big deal. It is a big deal because it is a lot of money. Your money. My FI and I bought a condo two years ago and while the process ran very smoothly, it was the first time we had bought anything major together. Taking on a mortgage (whether it's for a small condo like us or for a whole house, like you) is a big responsibility, and I would rather have someone working with us who valued that more.

I can see that's it's a sticky situation to be in.

ETA: Okay, so I just finished reading the rest of the responses. I agree with TGal -- it might be better to talk about this in person instead of on PS.

I do agree that someone has to be given a chance in order to get experience (I think we've all been there), but that person should be a little proactive and show that he/she is determined to be the best that he/she can.

 

[surfgirl]

Okay, now? This he said/she said is creeping me the hell out. And I gotta say, I feel like we're getting played here. Giving honest, heartfelt advice and then the alleged husband comes on and defends his brother? Wow. This must be what it's like to be on My Space, huh?!? Have I fallen into an alternate forum where married couples bicker online in front of the world?

As for the "my poor single cant catch a break and hurt his back" brother? Seriously? You start out working either under, or in tandem with an experienced real estate agent. That's how you get "experience." You EARN it the old fashioned way. And yeah, you can get that experience in the evenings, on the weekends, any time really because transitioning into real estate's gotta be the most flexible scheduling of any career I can think of since agents show homes 24/7, whenever the client can make time, and whenever they have access to the homes. So the excuses of poor laid up single dude dont really hold water with me at all.

And again, DONT USE YOUR FAMILY for such a monumental transaction! How difficult is it to understand that you dont mix business with family on this level? It's not like you're choosing to not buy a card at your brother's card shop! It's hundreds of thousands of dollars. Get a professional who doesn't know you. Gah.

And for the love of god, let's not have anymore couples b*#ching in public. It's really too weird.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 9:24:32 PM
Author: surfgirl
Okay, now? This he said/she said is creeping me the hell out. And I gotta say, I feel like we''re getting played here. Giving honest, heartfelt advice and then the alleged husband comes on and defends his brother? Wow. This must be what it''s like to be on My Space, huh?!? Have I fallen into an alternate forum where married couples bicker online in front of the world?

Just FYI surfgirl, both Argh and Fisher were on a lot last year before their engagement, so seeing them both on PS is nothing new.

 

[surfgirl]

Thanks TGal...but the couples bickering in public is still weird.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 9:33:58 PM
Author: surfgirl
Thanks TGal...but the couples bickering in public is still weird.

I agree. I don''t even like to come on here and vent about TGuy when he makes me mad. That''s between him and me. And once you splatter verbal diarrhea all over an Internet forum, it''s there to stay. JMHO.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Okay, for the record here, Paul and I have talked this out, talked this to death, really. To no avail. It's not a he said/ she said as much as my looking for neutral points of view, and when I told Paul about it, he decided to comment, as he thought I was more "biased" than I thought.

We're not arguing about it, nor are we battling over the internet. I think he was surprised that most comments were not the way he wanted them to be, so he wanted to respond to it.

Our friends know the situation, as well as other dynamics that have not been posted here, and neither of us feel as though those friends have been able to offer valid, non-biased points of view.

Haha about "freaking the hell" out of people. So not our point, or purpose. I just don't get Paul's stand point, and he doesn't get mine. We've both found a lot of help on this forum before, and thought we'd come here to get some again regarding this situation.

We're far from dueling arguers from opposite sides of the apartment. He reads over my shoulder, and me over his. Trying to keep it as non-biased as possible, from both points of view.

Maybe this isn't very productive, but I do think (hope) it is helping Paul to see this is not simply Jen being a brat about things because of personal feelings she may or may not have about his brother.

Added to post: We are not "bi**ching" at each other, either. I guess it takes knowing us, but we're pretty open about things and I consider a lot of the posters here to be friends of sorts, and wanted their input in this situation, as it is a big thing for us, and something we needed insight into. We both try really hard to see the other's point of view (as we are very different in a lot of ways) and in this area, it is proving very difficult for both of us.

 

[crown1]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:51:11 PM
Author: argh&stuff
There are a few things that Jen hasn''t told you.


First of all, she tells you that my brother hasn''t taken any initiative to learn. Let''s state why. Please understand, my brother is single, he has a mortgage, and he has to pay bills. When someone is not married, it is much more difficult for the person to transition from one career/job to the next. Such is the case with my brother. He obtained his real estate license in August, and for much of that time, he hasn''t been able to ''gain the experience'', or so my wife states. The first month of his license, I really didn''t pursue it with him, and so that is my ''fault'', if you want to make an issue of it. Secondly, another thing that she hasn''t told you is that my brother hurt his back at work (about three weeks ago), and he was out of work for a minimum of three weeks, unable to do much of anything besides lay on the couch. This occurred about a month ago (mid October). Therefore, combined with the more difficult issue of ''singledom and not having a spouse to work while one transitions'', as well as the other issues, it is easy to see why my brother hasn''t been doing much.


I find it odd how so many of you claim that you would never trust anyone without any experience. If no one trusted anyone, then no one would ever gain experience. How do you think any agent gains experience? They do so by doing exactly what some of you are claiming one should not let them.


I felt that this wouldn''t be complete without these tidbits.

i am going out on a limb here and am going to explain to you how i think people get experience. people who aren''t related to them or aren''t close friends with them are willing to take a chance because they are not aware of just how little experience or knowledge these individuals have. i think the old adage "let the buyer beware" is applicable here.

i am bowing out of something that is totally none of my business. i hope you all find the home of your dreams and that you have a smooth transaction.

 

[Efe]

Maybe this isn''t very productive, but I do think (hope) it is helping Paul to see this is not simply Jen being a brat about things because of personal feelings she may or may not have about his brother.

Okay. Objective opinion is that Jen has a good head on her shoulders and is trying to save Jen and Paul from potential financial and family problems. It is not your responsibility to help Paul''s brother out. He needs to get up to speed and show some initiative in developing his career on his own. Paul is Jen''s husband first, and a brother second. Sorry Paul, but that''s how I see it.