Bummed

[ringless]

So.... my boyfriend told me a few weeks ago he knew exactly how he was going to propose to me and that it would happen soon and I would love it. I have of course been so excited after he told me that. Anyway, so last Friday he was out with some friends and bumped into a mutal friend of ours, she is getting married in February. He said he told her how he was going to propose and she said "Wow, that is so worth her wait, she will love it". He told me all of this... and honestly, it really bummed me out. Please tell me I''m being ridiculous and should just be happy he has something planned. I just feel like the whole proposal should be a surprise to me and everyone else and that we as a couple should share how he did it after it actually happens. I kinda feel now that everyone will know (whoever she tells) and I don''t think that is very fair to me in a way. Please tell me how you all feel about this! Thank you in advance!

P.S. I told him I was bummed that she knew and that I kinda want him to ''change it up'' a little now if that is possible.

 

[fieryred33143]

You know how when you find out that he has a ring or that he''s going to propose, you run and tell everyone out of excitement? I think he has the ring! I think he''s going to propose on such and such trip. My boyfriend said this and that about marriage!

Well, this is the same thing. He''s excited so he''s telling everyone. Very rarely do men keep the way they are going to propose from their friends and family, especially when its a well planned proposal. Generally speaking the only time they do keep it a secret is when they are either a private/quiet person or when they fear that telling others will somehow get back to you.

If it were me, I would be excited that he is so excited about it. There are a lot of times, especially on here, where a guy will tell his gf that he wants to get married but clam up around others about it. The fact that he''s open is a good sign.

I also think that asking him to "change it up" for the sake of making it a little more unique is playing with fire. Now you are directing him on how the proposal should be and that really should be his moment to plan.

 

[ringless]

Date: 12/31/2008 10:01:07 AM
Author: fieryred33143
You know how when you find out that he has a ring or that he''s going to propose, you run and tell everyone out of excitement? I think he has the ring! I think he''s going to propose on such and such trip. My boyfriend said this and that about marriage!

Well, this is the same thing. He''s excited so he''s telling everyone. Very rarely do men keep the way they are going to propose from their friends and family, especially when its a well planned proposal. Generally speaking the only time they do keep it a secret is when they are either a private/quiet person or when they fear that telling others will somehow get back to you.

If it were me, I would be excited that he is so excited about it. There are a lot of times, especially on here, where a guy will tell his gf that he wants to get married but clam up around others about it. The fact that he''s open is a good sign.

I also think that asking him to ''change it up'' for the sake of making it a little more unique is playing with fire. Now you are directing him on how the proposal should be and that really should be his moment to plan.

I never thought about it like that... thank you. I will tell him tonight i''m sorry if I got a little carried away and he can do whatever he feels is right. I kinda feel bad now. I know our mutual friend wouldn''t tell me, and probably nobody else would either... He is a very social person while I''m a little more private so that may be why I''m feeling so weird about the whole thing. Thank you for your opinion!!!

 

[BlueSki231]

I think any disappointment you feel right now about knowing will fade when you see him get down on one knee. You''ll probably look back and laugh at how you got upset over knowing that he''s about to propose

I don''t think this will take anything away from the actual proposal!

I hope you feel better! It sounds like you already do..

 

[mayachel]

Maybe along with the eating humble pie for the beautifully planned and soon to be executed proposal spillage, you could simply request the he talk to the mutual friend and ask that she be certain not to tell anyone else. Sometimes it can work out well to include others in the secret, but I agree that it isn''t fun to be the "only one" who isn''t in on it. It''d be different if YOU didn''t know she knew...

 

[ringless]

Date: 12/31/2008 10:47:26 AM
Author: mayachel
Maybe along with the eating humble pie for the beautifully planned and soon to be executed proposal spillage, you could simply request the he talk to the mutual friend and ask that she be certain not to tell anyone else. Sometimes it can work out well to include others in the secret, but I agree that it isn''t fun to be the ''only one'' who isn''t in on it. It''d be different if YOU didn''t know she knew...

Exactly, why did he have to tell me??? lol
I appreciate everyone''s comments on this. I am going to talk to him tonight and tell him stick with your master plan (haha) and maybe if he gets around to it, let our mutual friend know it is a surprise (duh) and to try and not tell anyone else about it so there is no way it gets back to me, etc. But I do have to say, when he told me her reaction it did make me very excited about it...

 

[Tuckins1]

I feel ya... It''s YOUR proposal, and it kind of takes the special-ness away if everybody and their mother knows about it. A few close friends I can understand, but telling random people that he bumps into... That would definitely irritate me.

 

[radiantquest]

i can understand what you mean. like if you start telling someone how he propsed and they say they already know. it kinda takes some of the excitement in telling everyone away. try not to be bummed. i think that you are just overly excited and want it to happen already instead of him telling everyone about it. ~dust~

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I think, even if some of your friends end up knowing how your SO plans on proposing, they''ll still want to hear all the details from the two of you afterwards. The excitement in your voices when youre retelling it wont compare to just hearing about how it''ll be done beforehand, you know? Dont stress

 

[mrscushion]

Aw, I''m sorry you felt/feel that way. But I agree that he''s telling his friend and also telling you only because he''s incredibly pumped about it and probably just *needs* to talk about it because the excitement is spilling over. Honestly, if I were in your shoes right now, I would be thrilled. Your proposal seems so close and he seems to just be brimming with excitement and really looking forward to making you happy.

I gotta say, I''d love to be in your position right now!

 

[LaraOnline]

There are some many girls on here that are eating their hearts out for a proposal, of any kind. And you''ve got a man who is so excited, he''s planning and tweaking and fussing over it - to be honest, he sounds like a dream!
And he''s not even teasing you by pretending that nothing''s on!!
I just don''t get the whole proposal build-up. But I guess that''s because my man proposed to me out of the blue, in a park, on a bay, with the pelicans.
I think it was spur of the moment... and it was the most romantic experience of my entire life.
Proposals only become a great romantic memory if the marriage is good, anyway.
I say, don''t sweat the small stuff.

And, congratulations!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 12/31/2008 4:42:39 PM
Author: Tuckins1
I feel ya... It''s YOUR proposal, and it kind of takes the special-ness away if everybody and their mother knows about it. A few close friends I can understand, but telling random people that he bumps into... That would definitely irritate me.

It is also HIS proposal as well, sometimes I feel us girls get so wrapped up in the moment that we forget that it is just as if not more so nerve racking for the guy and for the one time in the whole wedding planing process it is just all about him and well then both of you when you say yes.

It is always a girl''s big day, the fawning over her ring but this is the one moment where he gets to rock out like his own inner rock star and do what he feels is right.

If he is getting excited and telling people he wants to spend the rest of his life with you I would be happy , he obviously cares for you and wants validation that his proposal idea is good enough for the person he loves - YOU .

Sit back, relax and let him be and enjoy the last days of being a LIW.

 

[ringless]

OMG GIRLS you are all amazing! God put this forum and you all in my life for a reason and when I read all of your replies this morning I had tears in my eyes. Your encouragement means so much to me, especially now! My good friend got engaged last night and I was pretty hurt over it (extremely happy for her too). I opened up this and WOWWWW I am so amazed at how sweet and considerate all of you are. I AM a lucky girl and I just have to keep reminding myself of that. My (everyone, our) time is coming and it is really fun to anticipate something so special.

What a great way to start the New Year! Thank you a million x's!!!

 

[ringless]

Date: 12/31/2008 8:02:40 PM
Author: mscushion
Aw, I''m sorry you felt/feel that way. But I agree that he''s telling his friend and also telling you only because he''s incredibly pumped about it and probably just *needs* to talk about it because the excitement is spilling over. Honestly, if I were in your shoes right now, I would be thrilled. Your proposal seems so close and he seems to just be brimming with excitement and really looking forward to making you happy.

I gotta say, I''d love to be in your position right now!

Thank you!!!

 

[ringless]

Date: 12/31/2008 9:32:05 PM
Author: LaraOnline
There are some many girls on here that are eating their hearts out for a proposal, of any kind. And you''ve got a man who is so excited, he''s planning and tweaking and fussing over it - to be honest, he sounds like a dream!
And he''s not even teasing you by pretending that nothing''s on!!
I just don''t get the whole proposal build-up. But I guess that''s because my man proposed to me out of the blue, in a park, on a bay, with the pelicans.
I think it was spur of the moment... and it was the most romantic experience of my entire life.
Proposals only become a great romantic memory if the marriage is good, anyway.
I say, don''t sweat the small stuff.

And, congratulations!

You''re so sweet.. thank you!

 

[musey]

It doesn't matter how anyone else feels about it, if that's how YOU feel then it's valid to YOU. It's good that you told him, and he is your boyfriend and will understand and do his best to respect your wishes. Try to cut him a little slack though, he's only spilling to people because he can't contain his excitement! My husband does the same thing when he's excited about something.

All that said, try not to let it get to you too much. You have a wonderful proposal coming your way, that's what matters!

 

[LaraOnline]

You''re a lucky girl ringless, he sounds very sweet.
It''s nasty to have a secret kept from you, isn''t it?!
I hope you have a fantastic new year!!! You must be jumping out of yoru skin, wondering which turn in the road will bring your proposal!
What if he leaves it until August?

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 12/31/2008 6:16:26 PM
Author: radiantquest
i can understand what you mean. like if you start telling someone how he propsed and they say they already know. it kinda takes some of the excitement in telling everyone away. try not to be bummed. i think that you are just overly excited and want it to happen already instead of him telling everyone about it. ~dust~

Ditto this. I also don''t like random people knowing about my surprises before me. I got a little irritated that my fiance showed the bracelet he got me for Christmas to a girl he works with that we both know. And I told him that, too! He understood and told me he just got excited and wanted to show someone, which I understand, too. So yeah, I think he should zip his lips from here on out!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 12/31/2008 10:01:07 AM
Author: fieryred33143
You know how when you find out that he has a ring or that he''s going to propose, you run and tell everyone out of excitement? I think he has the ring! I think he''s going to propose on such and such trip. My boyfriend said this and that about marriage!

Well, this is the same thing. He''s excited so he''s telling everyone. Very rarely do men keep the way they are going to propose from their friends and family, especially when its a well planned proposal. Generally speaking the only time they do keep it a secret is when they are either a private/quiet person or when they fear that telling others will somehow get back to you.

If it were me, I would be excited that he is so excited about it. There are a lot of times, especially on here, where a guy will tell his gf that he wants to get married but clam up around others about it. The fact that he''s open is a good sign.

I also think that asking him to ''change it up'' for the sake of making it a little more unique is playing with fire. Now you are directing him on how the proposal should be and that really should be his moment to plan.

Spot on!!

Plus, I don''t think this girl will be running around telling people about your engagement, or his upcoming plans...she probably has her own things on her mind.

 

[ringless]

Date: 1/2/2009 8:38:50 PM
Author: LaraOnline
You''re a lucky girl ringless, he sounds very sweet.
It''s nasty to have a secret kept from you, isn''t it?!
I hope you have a fantastic new year!!! You must be jumping out of yoru skin, wondering which turn in the road will bring your proposal!
What if he leaves it until August?

Thank you, I hope the proposal happens before August... man o man... no more waiting, please!

I AM jumping out of my skin!!! I actually asked him some wedding type q.''s today and he didn''t squirm once! lol y''know most guys are like "oh I dont want to talk about it, or your jumping ahead, blah blah blah". He is super excited and will talk about it all with me, which makes me SO happy. I really am just so happy right now!

 

[ringless]

Date: 1/2/2009 9:25:41 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor

Date: 12/31/2008 10:01:07 AM
Author: fieryred33143
You know how when you find out that he has a ring or that he''s going to propose, you run and tell everyone out of excitement? I think he has the ring! I think he''s going to propose on such and such trip. My boyfriend said this and that about marriage!

Well, this is the same thing. He''s excited so he''s telling everyone. Very rarely do men keep the way they are going to propose from their friends and family, especially when its a well planned proposal. Generally speaking the only time they do keep it a secret is when they are either a private/quiet person or when they fear that telling others will somehow get back to you.

If it were me, I would be excited that he is so excited about it. There are a lot of times, especially on here, where a guy will tell his gf that he wants to get married but clam up around others about it. The fact that he''s open is a good sign.

I also think that asking him to ''change it up'' for the sake of making it a little more unique is playing with fire. Now you are directing him on how the proposal should be and that really should be his moment to plan.

Spot on!!

Plus, I don''t think this girl will be running around telling people about your engagement, or his upcoming plans...she probably has her own things on her mind.

You are absolutly right, she is planning her own wedding so here''s to hoping she doesn''t spread the word around, but honestly I''m not really worried about it anymore really! I am just so happy and will be happy with whatever way he chooses to propose...

 

[Dreamgirl]

I really wouldn''t worry about it. It will be spectacular and well worth the wait! Plus, its coming soon..........you lucky thing

 

[gwendolyn]

Hey sweetie, just wanted to say that I agree with Lara and think it''s absolutely wonderful to hear about a guy who is bursting at the seams with excitement over proposing to his lady. What a sweetheart!! I can''t wait to hear about your proposal when it happens, which sounds like it will be sooner rather than later!